Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Positron]

I'll split the update into two (maybe three) separate posts to facillate quoting.

EternalsEternalsEternalsEternalsEternalsEternalsEternals... I hate this shit.


"Flattening criticism to a score" is suddenly "TERRIBLE for the medium and culture", when Bobby's fap material gets a low score:

The emojis mean Bobby is totally joking. He can't seriously suggest he can't find see anything happening in Dune can he?





Bobby is totally not partisan:


We'll hear more (much more in fact) about The Eternals shortly. But first, let see how Bobby's animosity towards Villeneuve makes pretzels out of his neurons.

Devon's joke can be easily countered with "Imagine you're the financier of this film and this bloke tells you this..." But no, for Bobby comprehensibility is a liability. Doesn't that sounds like the "pretentious twit films" that Bobby hates?

---

In this section I gather the tweets that touch upon the SJW aspects of The Eternals.

We'll hear more from Fallen Angel before the night is up.

The Eternals cannot be an exercise in virtue signaling, because there is no such thing as "virtue signaling"!


NYP is racist because they criticized an Asian unknown:


Bobby's self-awareness is being called to question. His Angels rush to his defense:

Yup. Someone watched Cuties to own the cons.



On the supposed relatedness between artistic merits and sociological merits, and how critics "get it wrong":



Instead of labelling the film's detractors as MAGA trash, maybe Bobby should appeal to the learned demographic? Let the Esoteric Philosophy out of the bag please! If he can convince me to see the film I promise I'll donate $100 to Mermaids UK.

---

Let's begin this final section with the fallout of that laughable "I suffered for my knowledge so that other people don't have to" tweet:

Maybe people didn't see the humor because there is none?

Bobby helped his neighbors set up for Halloween.


Unfortunately, some kiddie fun just got canceled:




I think this is TV. Don't care:


Bobby is right again:


Don't forget the next product to get excited about!







I'd much rather contemplate the putrefaction of a rat than to see anything by Brie Larson.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

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The cheap scrap of paper is right Bob. Your eyes do not deceive. There is no one. No one admires you greatly.

 

[Positron]

This section contains tweets that are more or less about the real world.

NYPD. I'm surprised that they still exist.



A tranny deriding others for "gobbling up" misinformation that confirms their biases. Surely you jest!



Bobby thinks the freeing of the slaves is an example of his idiosyncratic notion of "kicking the garbage out"

TrueMetis is right. You can't compare firing a group of people en masse to genocide. "Misgendering", on the other hand...



Covid vaccine in children. As a consoomer, Bobby is dead set on Big Pharma's side.

It is well known that covid has an extremely low mortality in children, and, conversely, the adverse cardiac side-effects are disproportionately high in this group. But let's forget all these Believer shit; just consoom jab and get excited for the next jab.


Like I said, Believer stuff. You win the internet!

---

Noam Chomsky plans to save democracy, presumably through the Bob Chipman Tactic.


Tucker Carlson is not a person:



As I said, I support animal rights. Bobby has the right to live even though he has no job and serves no useful role in society. Let's keep him alive with pig swill.

"Cultural-aesthetic Fascism" Do you know the only source of traditional values is religion, i.e. superstition.

You Mexican laborer are so dumb you don't even know where the butter-side is. If not for the white leisured-class cultural elites like Bobby who liberate you, you're long dead!

This is from a mile-long thread that I can't even reach the origin of. Why do people use Twitter to write their Recherche du temps perdu?

---

/hr]
The new season of Bobby's Angels features some big-name transvestites:


Luke being Luke:


And our regular Nymphomacy is very funny. He even comes up with a semen joke:


Ellen Page is "normal":


Fortunately, western civilization is not lost. There are still one or two countries who know the likes of Ellen Page are not normal at all:



On the flip side, the gays resent having to support shit like BLM and Free Palestine as part of the liberal package deal. If this goes on, "Gay for Trump 2024" will not be farfetched:


Melenia made a groaning face at Trump's enthusiasm:


Believe women:


More on Programmed To Kill, the book.


And this is the arcane, forbidden knowledge that Bobby burdens himself with, so the world doesn't have to:



No one cares whether it is racist or not, and it is not.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Bob's Eternals sperging really is a great way to show off how he's a horrible film critic since he seems to try and defend a film's honor because of the brand.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

We'll hear more (much more in fact) about The Eternals shortly. But first, let see how Bobby's animosity towards Villeneuve makes pretzels out of his neurons.

Devon's joke can be easily countered with "Imagine you're the financier of this film and this bloke tells you this..." But no, for Bobby comprehensibility is a liability. Doesn't that sounds like the "pretentious twit films" that Bobby hates?

tbh i will say that anyone that creates something, ultimately creates something that they themselves will like. Unless you are led mainly by greed, you will always strive to create something that caters to your own tastes and which you will find beautiful. It may not be the best way to make money or make a name for yourself, but it will be mainly what keeps moving you forward in order to become a better creator.

That aside, i think it's very hypocritical of Bob to say all of that. A man that cannot put himself in the shoes of his downtrodden and demonized countryment, hounded and harassed from all sides and in the brink of ruin, demands others to put in "his" shoes in order to accomodate his tastes. Let that sink in. The sheer titanic arrogance of Bob calling creators "pretentious twits" for making something that he might not like.

More on Programmed To Kill, the book.

Woah, that distinction Bob says is really damn funny. I bet he also would say that the Aztecs didn't sacrificed humans even if he is pointed at a massive pillar of skulls in their main temple.

And Bob is really deluded if he thinks that MK Ultra is a conspiracy when it was proven to be true. But what can we expect from a man that is the perfectly docile nigger cattle that the elites want? A man that believes that as long as the right people are in power, his trust on the government will be unbridled and complete rather than being wary of people that will murder you or ruin your life just to have a little more money and power.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

He's only interested in robots and reviving old species because he wants an army to kill all he hates and something to inhabit the areas of the exterminated. He's only interested in space because he took the Jetsons and Star Trek at their word. Otherwise, he doesn't care.

The hell of it is the future he wants would end up looking more like the one that Space Moose crafted.
Do not click on that link at work. Trigger warnings: Murder of a person of color, assassination of political figure, not-murder of Noam Chomsky because he's just a clump of cells, bloodsports, urination, sizable scrotum, blasphemy, bionic badger, the Leibniz series for the inverse tangent, a complete lack of Batman, self anal rape, unreasonable penis. This is a joke, but none of this is a joke. Do not click on that link at work.

1) Too lazy to look up your opinion at the time on 100% Black Panther.
2) It's an aggregator, genius.
3) "Filmbros", the sequel to the award-winning "Gamerbros" and "Berniebros". Because when you don't have an argument, imply your critics are the worst evil: Men who behave in a familiar way towards each other.
4) At least your shill was more subtle than your usual Peter Chimaera Quarter Life level.
5) A shrine? Stop with all the Believer talk, please.

You people do realize most people who read reviews use them to decide what movie to see, right? Also, I quite like huge gap in logic that you should go and see it and form your own positive or negative opinion - but fuck all those people who have already gone and seen it and formed their own negative opinion.

 

[TigerGoblin]

I'm attempting to rephrase what was said here. Correct me if anything is wrong.

Bob: regardless of whether or not a movie is good, you should say the movie is good because if you don't, you're agreeing with people I'm presuming don't think the movie is good. Because racism or something. If what I said doesn't make sense, don't ask for clarification. Ain't none of that coming.

There isn't an oath or an ethics board for critics. There should be. I want Chipman's license shredded and jail time for unsanctioned criticism for violatons.

Yes, but "the overthinkereater" also mixed in some conspiracy theory where all the reviewers are secretly plotting to fail MCU films. (Even though by all acounts, those films are overrated by reviewers...)

I don't think the mcu is gonna be circling the drain, but if it doesn't pick its momentum back up it wont take much to get there.

I think that MCU right now has enough fans which will prevent "complete disaster". Box Office results will not be horrible, just vey middling. And even if not, MCU will survive just fine. Antman movies were also barely successful and if all else fails they can still play the blame game with Covid-19. I think longterm implications of fans quietly leaving the now "boring and pretentious and directionless" films will be more severe with time.

The thing is, MCU does have cards up it sleeve which will make this process real long. The only MCU movie I see genuine hype from the general audience is also coming soon: Spider-Man NWH, and if Toby and Andrew are in, it will be a hit even if they just talk the entire film. Then there is the X-Men integration which will probably create more hits for the MCU (I DO NOT count on the FF to be a hit with general audience).

So it will be a while before the MCU breathes its last, but that just means higher frequency of Bob Tantrums over each one of the many failures and flops which will come alng the way (Marvels is another example of those...)

 

[Miles Peterson]

So, apparently the 2deep4U esoteric philosophy point in Eternals is "war is bad, but also we need war to drive innovation", which explains why Bob glommed onto it so hard because it's the traditional stupid person opinion. A lot of technological changes happened during WW2, which morons conflate with happening because of WW2, and then having made they connection they never test that premise by checking, say, WW1 or Korea or 'Nam and asking why those wars didn't reinvent society and generate loads and loads of brand new technology.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Also rotten tomatoes is not a review site. It is a review aggregator and does not say what does and does not work with a movie.

Keep letting rage against Rotten Tomatoes. He doesn't seem to realise it, but we've been down this road before. Remember Metacritic?
Remember how there was a split between audience and critic reviews?
Remember how game journalists figured out they review bomb games that didn't toe the political line? (You are here)
Remember how Metacritic became an irrelevant relic as people watched YouTubers instead?

I mean, it's not as if down-to-earth YouTubers like RedLetterMedia and Critical Drinker are now the faces of movie criticism. That would never happen.

i will say that anyone that creates something, ultimately creates something that they themselves will like. Unless you are led mainly by greed, you will always strive to create something that caters to your own tastes and which you will find beautiful. It may not be the best way to make money or make a name for yourself, but it will be mainly what keeps moving you forward in order to become a better creator.

It's a tricky balance, as that same logic can be applied to people who fill their work with cringe wokeshit or disgusting fetishism.

 

[Positron]

So, apparently the 2deep4U esoteric philosophy point in Eternals is "war is bad, but also we need war to drive innovation",

I can one-up the esotericity: "lavish and conspicuous expenditure in the Arts is a safety valve against economic over-accumulation, else the excess money will be spent on war". -- The Accursed Share, Georges Bataille.

Back to The Eternals. Isn't technology an alien gift in that world? Humans could have sat around the campfire and sang kum-ba-yah and they'd still have nuclear power in due course?

 

[TigerGoblin]

I mean, it's not as if down-to-earth YouTubers like RedLetterMedia and Critical Drinker are now the faces of movie criticism.

You know what else is the face of movie criticism? My podcast!
- The Chippa

 

[Tronathon242]

I'm attempting to rephrase what was said here. Correct me if anything is wrong.

Bob: regardless of whether or not a movie is good, you should say the movie is good because if you don't, you're agreeing with people I'm presuming don't think the movie is good. Because racism or something. If what I said doesn't make sense, don't ask for clarification. Ain't none of that coming.

There isn't an oath or an ethics board for critics. There should be. I want Chipman's license shredded and jail time for unsanctioned criticism for violatons.

Albert Maltz's concerns in "What Shall We Ask of Writers?" are now coming to life in amazing clarity.

Bob is 100% demanding a movie made primarily for overt and unsubtle political reasons be defended not for its own merit but because it must serve the Message. It is on point what the open Commie that was Maltz was worried about Leftist movies and film criticism degenerating into way back when.

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

Is anyone still covering the old Overthinker videos?

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Bob, just go ahead and say you want Führerin Merkel to invade Poland again. We all know what you mean.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

It's a tricky balance, as that same logic can be applied to people who fill their work with cringe wokeshit or disgusting fetishism.

True. The problem is that libtards and people that usually inject their works with fetishism or wokeshit are so heavy handed that it's not a story, a drawing, a song or a movie. It's outright propaganda or pornography.

 

[Adamska]

The fat miserable 40 year old and his "future" again....

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Bob, you'd need to literally kill off your whole family and yourself given how the only difference between a Hillbilly and the Chipman clan is the latter talks kind of like Adam Sandler.

Also I just came back from watching Dune: I can understand why Bob struggled and hated watching it. There's things you just are shown and not told, meaning you have to use your thinky meat. Also there's death and no quippy jokes to make the sad feels go away. It's also a real movie, first in a good while I bothered to see in theater.

 

[Laughingjoke2]

Bob, you'd need to literally kill off your whole family and yourself given how the only difference between a Hillbilly and the Chipman clan is the latter talks kind of like Adam Sandler.

Also I just came back from watching Dune: I can understand why Bob struggled and hated watching it. There's things you just are shown and not told, meaning you have to use your thinky meat. Also there's death and no quippy jokes to make the sad feels go away. It's also a real movie, first in a good while I bothered to see in theater.

Hey Hillbillies can live off the land if needed you close the Walmart and the Chipman's are fucked.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

I honestly don't get why even the most rabid marvel fans want ETERNALS to be rated perfect. Like, what's the problem with having a shitty movie once in a while? It's not like peeps saw GhostBusters 2 and decided that life was over when peeps noticed it was gay as hell.

It's almost comedic how these fatsos are like "Uhhhh... You should see X for yourself regardless of bad scores because I personally love this franchise and it can do no wrong ever." but then with the very same breath also be like "DON'T WATCH DAVE CHAPPLE DESPITE THE HIGH REVIEWS - He calls a tranny gay or something and that causes twenty million trannys a day to melt to death, please for the love of god move your eyes away from it!"

... only difference between a Hillbilly and the Chipman clan is the latter talks kind of like Adam Sandler.

Hillbillys actually go outside and often are friendly to everyone. The only thing that Bob shares with the rural south is crippling heart disease at 45.

 

[Quixotic Man]

MCU fanboys demand that their movies be seen as high art and they thought that Eternals was their path to true film and to own Denis Villeneuve and Martin Scorsese for daring to call their movies corporate theme park rides.

They demand that their mythology be taken seriously.

 

[Soulless4510]

You know it's sad that all these people including Bob but especially Bob who are just putting all their hopes of these MCU movies to unite the people.

But the world doesn't work that way the way that people are get together a connect is meeting them in real life talking about real issues and so on and so forth.

What Disney is doing is pretty much a Capitalistic civil rights movement and Bob thinks that the eternals are like the MCU version of Martin Luther king and and gay rights all on one it's fucking pathetic.