I forgot you can read the "
script" of his reviews on moviebobcentral.com.
So did I! Or I never knew; not like I've been there for a loooooong time.
This is the bit about Gnosticism:
View attachment 2719949
Bobby is an inveterate name-dropper, not so much an explainer.
Tell me about it. What scares me is that I supposedly listened to this section twice and I'm realizing now that I missed half of it. It's a landslide of words, and I just noticed random bits of linguistic detritus breaking the surface as I tried not to be swept away by the wall of Englishoid mud.
Good heavens, I'd like to know what the hell he thinks "Blake's take on Alighieri's take on The Old Testament" even
means, because I didn't see much of
this kind of thing in the trailer. Also, if "Alighieri's take on The Old Testament" does mean
The Divine Comedy as I think it does that is an impressively stupid description since, unlike him, I've read it. Several translations, probably one for every attempt Bob's made at the Wikipedia article with change left over. It is a work strongly grounded in the NEW Testament with injections of Greek myth and Roman politics. His Hell is not only built on Greek imagery of fallen titans and suitably ironic punishments, but its morality is... I wanna say Aristoelian but I'm going off second-hand info there; I've never read
Nicomachean Ethics. Purgatory is the Seven Deadly Sins as a mountain and of the counterexamples for the penitent to learn from at each of the terraces, one is always taken from the life of Mary. The Virgin Mary is held up as an exemplar of concepts such as chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, kindness, patience, and humility. And then Heaven is very Christian, obviously. The fathers of the Old Testament church get a mention... in passing. If I remember correctly - do call me out of I'm wrong - Dante asks why, despite not accepting Christ (not possible at the time) they weren't in Limbo with the virtuous pagans; Virgil explains that those who held to the earlier covenant, particularly the prophets, got a free upgrade during the Harrowing of Hell. (The Harrowing isn't merely New Testament, it's Catholic dogma. While He was spending a few days dead for salvation purposes, Jesus went down to Hell and got the righteous. Left the place a bit busted up too if Dante is to be believed, but more through divine earthquakes than, say, Doomguying it.)
Also: Colon open-parenthesis comma comma close-parenthesis semicolon colon open-parenthesis close-parenthesis comma open-parenthesis question-mark-
that-doesn't-end-the-thought close-parenthesis semicolon-
inside-quotes-and-trying-to-be-a-colon-I-don't-know open-parenthesis close-parenthesis open-parenthesis-again em-dash close-parenthesis comma HOLY-FUCK-FINALLY-A-PERIOD. And that's not counting the unnecessary hyphens.
For contrast, I grabbed something from a wiki dedicated to the guy he's shamelessly aping, Yahtzee Croshaw (picked at semirandom - took 3 tries to hit one with an opening paragraph of even similar length:
I know what you're going to say: "Yahtzee reviewing a JRPG? Perhaps I shall quickly look outside to make sure the sky is not falling and the sea's not running red with blood. Haw-hee-haw-hee-haw." Well, you smarmy cunt, I had heard that The World Ends With You does things differently to most JRPGs, and while I took that with mountainous piles of salt, I was intrigued when I noticed that it came out in the PAL regions before America. So I thought, if the release dates are from Bizzaro World, maybe the entire game is too, and will turn out to be the first good JRPG. Sadly, this uncharacteristic optimism started draining when I looked at the box art and noticed all the characters are undernourished teenaged androgynes who do their hair in the morning by sticking their heads in buckets of lead-based paint and dress like they stepped on a land mine in a trendy clothes shop. But let's be fair. Once I started playing, I noticed that it does do things differently than most JRPGs. It just doesn't do enough things differently.
Colon
actual-question-mark PERIOD PERIOD comma comma comma comma PERIOD comma comma comma PERIOD comma PERIOD PERIOD comma PERIOD PERIOD.
I admit some if it's the subjective opinion of the transcriber but even at my least charitable it's still obviously multiple sentences, and it doesn't abuse the hell out of the ":;" key.