Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I'm sorry, did I just develop aphasia while reading this or did Chris while writing it? I've read it three times and I still can't understand it.

Chris?

Chris? I know you're reading this. Can you smell burnt toast?

 

[Koby_Fish]

I'm sorry, did I just develop aphasia while reading this or did Chris while writing it? I've read it three times and I still can't understand it.

I think that despite the butchered phrasing, Chris is trying to reference something only he and Bob (and their highschool friends either know it too or have similar ideas) know about that they've talked about before, but doesn't wanna give the secret away to the masses on Twitter for fear someone steals their idea and gets rich off it, instead of them.

Also god, if Bob used to smoke weed, no wonder his fucking brain is fried and he can't review movies for shit. He literally made himself dumber.

I think Chris used a highly idiosyncratic "empty brackets" to represent two random objects, instead of something more common like X and Y.

"Put" is probably an autocorrected "our" typo. So it was supposed to read "If only all of our high school friends ... " the implication being Chris, his friends, and maybe Bob used to sit around thinking how awesome it would be if various things they liked were mashed up. Like, say, Wendy's Frosty and breakfast cereal.

The longer you stay on this thread the better you get at interpreting Twitter Retardese (Chipman dialects).

yeah, that's what I figured when I saw it, too. Hiding a secret recipe for breakfast cereal success. Though, you'd think, whatever it's supposed to be, you'd think someone in cereal marketing would have already thought of it? And not some exceptional autistic thing like "Gum and Nuts, together at last!" gag on the Simpsons.

Chris?

Chris? I know you're reading this. Can you smell burnt toast?

Does burning toast mean perma-fried brain?

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Does burning toast mean perma-fried brain?

I always heard it meant you were having a stroke.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

I'm honestly not surprised that retarded coomer trannies who have insane mental problems and offer no value to society at all are Moviebob fans. Bob really gathers the SUPERIOR members of society into his intellectual debates.

Friendo, if you don't understand that taking HRT and wearing programming socks is what makes one truly working class in the 21st century then you must just be obsolete, I don't know what else to tell you.

 

[Mola Ram]

yeah, that's what I figured when I saw it, too. Hiding a secret recipe for breakfast cereal success. Though, you'd think, whatever it's supposed to be, you'd think someone in cereal marketing would have already thought of it? And not some exceptional autistic thing like "Gum and Nuts, together at last!" gag on the Simpsons.

I just don't get why the two of them are so blown away by this. The charm of a Frosty is that it's an extra thick milkshake, basically. You can't get that in breakfast cereal, so this will just be a mildly chocolate flavored cereal like dozens of others already on the market.

Unless, of course, they're just a couple of white trash slobs eager to have some new sugary treat to shovel down their gullets, which seems pretty likely.

 

[Judge Dredd]

So what exactly does Bob really hate about the first Transformers movie? I’m not much of a Transformer lore guy but does it relate to nostalgia bias from the cartoon movie or is there something more to it?

Pretty much nostalgia bias. Bob grew up with the G1 cartoon, so anything different from that sucks and isn't real transformers. Also, it was popular with the dude bros Bob hates.

Resident Women:

Another day, another franchise Bob knows fuck all about but is "geek" now so he pretends to be an expert.

3 did show the kinds of products Umbrella was making through real world ads, and it was mostly stuff like anti-aging cream and painkillers.

I thought Umbrella was a household name like GlaxoSmithKline is in the real world. Which is part of why STARS weren't believed when they started screaming about zombies and monsters without any proof.

Plus, it's not as if a big corporation like Facebook could just change their name to avoid a scandal.

 

[Koby_Fish]

I just don't get why the two of them are so blown away by this. The charm of a Frosty is that it's an extra thick milkshake, basically. You can't get that in breakfast cereal, so this will just be a mildly chocolate flavored cereal like dozens of others already on the market.

Unless, of course, they're just a couple of white trash slobs eager to have some new sugary treat to shovel down their gullets, which seems pretty likely.

I mean, it's possible to get the exact dry formulation of the flavoring of a Wendy's Frostie. For that particular substance, it would seem distinct enough to smoothbrains like Chris and Bob to distinguish it from all the other chocolate-flavored breakfast cereal. I'd have to try it for myself to see whether indeed it tastes a) like a Frosty b) good and c) significantly different from cocoa puffs, cocoa krispies, count chocula, or any of that other shit.

 

[JayHarrison]

..."The Anti-Thinker" is the perfect name for Bob.

I prefer thinking of Moviebob as "The (_insert_subject_here_) Unthinker".

 

[Chuck McGill]

Also, "The Anti-Thinker" is the perfect name for Bob.

That's always something that's given me a chuckle about Bob. Looking at how he talks, how his videos are structured, how he views himself, it's obvious he wants to be some sort of intellectual thought leader that people respect. What he doesn't realize is that requires having original opinions. The reason people tolerated weirdo geniuses being unkempt nutbars in day to day life(see: any great mathematician) is because they brought a perspective no one else had to the table. If I wanted to hear what the establishment wants to astroturf, there's no reason to not go with a cute 23 year old girl or a megachad over the ol' Boston Bloviator.

I remember someone asked him in a tweet if he ever feared becoming cancelled in the vein of Lindsay Ellis, pointing out how much the internet has changed since 2012. He responded that he would always reevaluate and change his opinions with the times. That's something I always associate with intellectualism. Being niggercattle that keeps its head down and obediently marches towards the next trend. Can't want to watch Bob defend necrophilia and pedophilia as soon as it becomes socially expedient to do so.

 

[make_it_so]

Also, "The Anti-Thinker" is the perfect name for Bob.

How ironic that that was the label he used when he tried to (badly) parody Razorfist, a man that, for all of his lolcowish tendencies, is nonetheless infinitely more entertaining, insightful, and has more genuine "nerd" passion and accreditation than this bloated 40-year old manchild.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

How ironic that that was the label he used when he tried to (badly) parody Razorfist, a man that, for all of his lolcowish tendencies, is nonetheless infinitely more entertaining, insightful, and has more genuine "nerd" passion and and accreditation than this bloated 40-year old manchild.

To say nothing about Razorfish's eloquent (by comparison) use of language. He occasionally drops in an amusing simile in his rants that make me laugh and while I do find RF's voice annoying, Bob's abrasive tone takes both the cake and the stand. Especially, when he slips into his full "Bah-stan" accent, which almost ruptures my eardrums. I hear it in Chris' voice as well and wonder what kind of masochist would listen to a podcast featuring these two Massholes.

 

[kcbbq]

To add onto that devastating point, Robert specifically asks if any automakers other than Tesla issue recalls for 475,000 or more cars in a single year.

First result I found from a few weeks ago, Honda recalled nearly 800,000 cars because the hoods might fly up while driving:

Honda recalls nearly 789,000 vehicles for hoods that may open while driving

The affected vehicles are certain 2019 Passport midsize crossovers, 2016-19 Pilot midsize crossovers and 2017-20 Ridgeline midsize pickups.

www.autonews.com

There were 42 million cars and pickups, mostly Hondas, recalled in the US alone over the Takata airbags that were killing people via shrapnel when they went off a few years ago. 475,000 is a small recall.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Aww, poor Bobby, did people smarter than you make money that you missed out on? Is that why you make fun of it so much? You keep saying it's an environmental disaster if you like. I mean, it uses power, but like 40% of that's renewable and growing, but you keep on banging that drum that crypto's the boogeyman. Forgive me, I guess I hadn't noticed cars run on goose feathers and tap water now. My mistake.

The rest of us know you're nursing a terminal case of butthurt from being a broke ass, stupid motherfucker that missed the train. Crypto ain't going nowhere for a reason no matter how many times you predict the end times, you jealous, trailer trash, Romney-care by default, no job, begging your mother for a room, no kids, no pets having diabetes fatality in-waiting fat child.

I'm sure that's part of it, but most of it is his authoritarianism and boundless gullibility for whatever propaganda our unelected corporate and Deep State masters have decided to dress up in The Science(tm). They don't like crypto because it's an alternative to their system of control. Therefore, they have paid their scientific prostitutes to manufacture "evidence" against it, and paid their presstitutes to shill this "evidence" to the public. Also, people he hates (like us) use it to bypass those same systems of social control that Bob worships. But most of it boils down to AUTHORITY GOOD, NAZIS AND KIWI FARMS BAD.

I refuse to believe that a man as tight up his own ass as Bob Chipman ever smoked weed. I DO believe that he shovels kids cereal down his gullet at the slightest provocation, though.

I believe that he's at least tried weed for the same reasons he drinks: because it makes him feel cooler and less autistic. I'm guessing that it didn't really work, as otherwise he'd be as much of a pothead today as he is an alcoholic.

 

[Chilson]

There were 42 million cars and pickups, mostly Hondas, recalled in the US alone over the Takata airbags that were killing people via shrapnel when they went off a few years ago. 475,000 is a small recall.

The new emerging trend of "Leftie asshat so far up their own ass they don't even bother to do a simple google search" has become a new delight of mine.

I get that this has been happening for at least a decade with Bob, but Bob is merely ahead of the curve in terms of the continuing degeneration of far lefts ability to think. Its in fact the only one of two things he is ahead of the curve in, the second being his growing girth.

 

[EnemyStand]

I believe that he's at least tried weed for the same reasons he drinks: because it makes him feel cooler and less autistic. I'm guessing that it didn't really work, as otherwise he'd be as much of a pothead today as he is an alcoholic.

I'd bet my next paycheck that if he did try it he didn't inhale. And that when he tried cigars he did and puked.

 

[TowinKarz]

I just don't get why the two of them are so blown away by this. The charm of a Frosty is that it's an extra thick milkshake, basically. You can't get that in breakfast cereal, so this will just be a mildly chocolate flavored cereal like dozens of others already on the market.

Unless, of course, they're just a couple of white trash slobs eager to have some new sugary treat to shovel down their gullets, which seems pretty likely.

It's all about consooming.

That's it.

And when you already consoom mass produced sugary breakfast cereals and mass produced processed fast food? What could be better for your conformist shallow brain than both of those consumed at once?

Bob isn't that far off from OPL in how much of his personal identity is wrapped up in consumer brands.

If they still made that Nintendo themed cereal they used to? You can bet he'd be eating every morning and proud.

Meanwhile, every time I get the urge for junk cereal I at least can save a few bucks and some dignity by buying the store imitation brand, cheaper and no cartoon mascot on the box to telegraph to the world your tastes are juvenile and laughable.

 

[Juan's Sombrero]

It's all about consooming.

That's it.

And when you already consoom mass produced sugary breakfast cereals and mass produced processed fast food? What could be better for your conformist shallow brain than both of those consumed at once?

Bob isn't that far off from OPL in how much of his personal identity is wrapped up in consumer brands.

If they still made that Nintendo themed cereal they used to? You can bet he'd be eating every morning and proud.

Meanwhile, every time I get the urge for junk cereal I at least can save a few bucks and some dignity by buying the store imitation brand, cheaper and no cartoon mascot on the box to telegraph to the world your tastes are juvenile and laughable.

I usually eat Tesco whole grain cereal. Jumpstarts my colon pretty good and has less sugar. I started to hate eating sugar cereal in my late teens because... well, it had too much sugar.

I'm pretty sure Blob doesn't want to clear his innards of the residual crap from all of the garbage he consooms because he must think that it becomes infused with him to give his body power.

No, I'm not even being hyperbolic. I think he genuinely seems to believe that certain types of food are power ups. You can bet that "mushrooms" are his favorite.

 

[make_it_so]

I usually eat Tesco whole grain cereal. Jumpstarts my colon pretty good and has less sugar. I started to hate eating sugar cereal in my late teens because... well, it had too much sugar.

I'm pretty sure Blob doesn't want to clear his innards of the residual crap from all of the garbage he consooms because he must think that it becomes infused with him to give his body power.

No, I'm not even being hyperbolic. I think he genuinely seems to believe that certain types of food are power ups. You can bet that "mushrooms" are his favorite.

"Eating a whole Pizza was a power-up that increased your health bar in the Ninja Turtles game. Therefore, if I consume multiple whole pizzas daily, I will live forever!"

 

[Adamska]

Bob isn't that far off from OPL in how much of his personal identity is wrapped up in consumer brands.

This is a man who keeps tarding out and throwing his toys in Mommy's basement every single day at anything Batman related because a single republican blog over 15 years ago said "Yeah, Dark Knight's really good". He of course would be eating the Nintendo cereal until he seized to death from hyperglycemia.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

"Eating a whole Pizza was a power-up that increased your health bar in the Ninja Turtles game. Therefore, if I consume multiple whole pizzas daily, I will live forever!"

He admitted when he was talking about dieting that he would regularly eat an entire pan of frozen lasagna for a meal and still wanted to. So I doubt you're that far off.