Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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@glib I think Bob's trying to insinuate that the cut-rate community college whence he got his film degree had Directors and Normie Crack Technicians as teachers that taught him this shit. Gonna press X to doubt on that.

I imagine "genre literate" means people who can distinguish the various genres of movies and what they're all about. So basically what Bob's saying is that Directors (according to him anyway, or the incompetent fools that taught him in Community College) don't give a shit about genres, their differences, etc. Maybe this is also Bob's way of saying they don't analyze the blue curtains, while he, the soopeeryah expert, does.

The idea Bob posits here, of a person having like fuck-all taste still being able to technically do the things to make the movie, makes no goddamn sense. I mean sure, you can get something out of it, but it'll likely be shit. Maybe taste can't be taught, but it sure as shit shouldn't be ignored in people trying to get their foot in the door. Lack of taste should disqualify anyone from being like say, a writer or director.

I mean, he talked to James Gunn once, didn't he? Does that count as talking to a Director for the purposes of this concept?

Interesting point relevant to Bob's screed here: Many actors don't watch movies (or TV) because they simply do not have time to do so. A long time ago, I made a decision. For me, it was huge. I could either watch Television, or I could be involved in making Television. I couldn't have it both ways. So, being the sperg I am, I chose watch. Some actors might be egotistical and not want to watch other people's movies, but for the most part, it's just lack of time.
 
So I was watching this today...

Unless E;R is lying to the point of doctoring clips, forget the lore, the HALO series just sucks PERIOD.

The story literally has alien invaders attacking and killing human survivors unprovoked and yet the story still has Master Chief and the protagonist rebel against the human military system.

Or to put this in terms Bobby can understand: imagine we watched on screen a bunch of nazis rounding up innocent minorities and slaughtering them only to have the Avengers all show up and kill the nazis. Then the following scene has the protagonist decide they must rebel against said Avengers.

Actually I think the story may try a "aliens were good all along" which was one of Bob's ideas so maybe that's it. Maybe Bob wrote this show. That's how dumb it is REGARDLESS of the source.
 
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The sorceress Circe have rounded them them with pop culture and turned them into MovieBobs.
God damn it, I'm so used to capeshit that it took me a second to realize that was a genuine mythological reference.
I don't know what made my stomach lurch harder, the pictures or 'TheChippa' saying "I'm making you eat one when you come."

... roast beef finals?

That he can say/type those words and not ask "How did I get here? Where did I go so wrong?" is telling.

Sonic 2 post-credit spoilers
I just imagined video game mascot films springing up to fill the void left by the dying MCU. I know it'll never happen but I saw a Sega Cinematic Universe with Nintendo playing DC to Sega's Marvel. Imagine the impotent Bob rage!
 
Ever wonder what those dashes in MovieBob's tweets were hiding?

Kiwifarms knows.

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Sonic music that has lyrics tends to be buttrock, but its some of the best examples of buttrock, essentially.
I would say it's especially gratuitous in the Sonic Adventure games (I never played Shadow the (H)Edgehog), but I believe that the purpose of Crush 40's music is get you hyped up as their songs play during the final boss. The lyrics to "Open Your Heart" and "Live and Learn" are actually thematically appropriate for the Perfect Chaos and Final Hazard fight. Meanwhile, "Endless Possibilities" by Jaret Reddick and the vocal tracks from Sonic Colors are different stylistically and genre-wise. As you say, it's meant to be over the top, but it an enjoyable sense. I listen to it because it keeps me moving.

Personally, my favorite Crush 40 song is "Knight of the Wind."
 
"Heavy hydrogen: Power your ships, and power your drugs."

Ohhh boy. I wonder what miracle unsynthesizable compounds this wondrous chemical called hydrogen can make.
OK seriously no joke. The first episode was available on YouTube, on Paramount Plus' channel. I clicked on it at 9:10am this morning... and now, 1 hour later, it's a private video you can't watch any more.
 
Ever wonder what those dashes in MovieBob's tweets were hiding?

Kiwifarms knows.

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And that 4 year old? Albert Einstein.

Edit: P.S. Before we are sent to the Gulags for wrongthink, @Positron can you tell us your process for selecting the best of MovieBob? This man eats, breathes and craps twitter. How do you choose what to screencap?
 
@Positron can you tell us your process for selecting the best of MovieBob? This man eats, breathes and craps twitter. How do you choose what to screencap?
I don't. We are in hell and none other than the unadulterated, unabridged MovieBob experience will do.

Boycott = Visit, and Bring Ammo = Pizzagate.
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OK creep.

The genesis of MCU vs DCEU
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Moonknight keeps Bobby guessing.
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Bobby defeats another Wiki-reading movie critic, this time about the sexual (geo)politics of Turning Red.
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I want to know where this is found, because I can't trust a company whose employees can't even manage to fake a professional-looking notice.
 
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Exactly!

But what bothers me the most is how they keep consuming and consuming.

This might be a dumb question but don’t they ever get tired of watching the same formulaic schlock over and over?
Probably do, but these guys buy into almost any marketing and the hype that follows. These movies are literally made for people like Bob to watch and be amazed at the hollow storytelling, the special effects and the amazingly convenient plot hooks that tie into other movies: This is actually a double edged sword, as it both creates a cult following from the Blob and his ilk and cripples the appeal of these movies with the constant scenes that the viewer won't understand without watching the hundreds of hours of the film from the same cinematic universe. Powerleveling a bit, I fucking hate these movies precisely because of this, they aren't self contained and it kills the appeal if you didn't follow the metric fuckload of film they released recently. Not even getting into the myriad of shit I could be criticizing, just that makes them an annoyance to watch by itself!
best of MovieBob? This man eats, breathes and craps twitter.
There isn't a "best" of MovieBob, guy is a fucking asshole some 99% of the time and an annoying, unlikeable cocksucker on the rest. There are just some moments where Bob is being even more of an unhinged lunatic than usual, or just going above the board on his narcissistic displays of stupidity lol!
 
Just finished watching Bob's video
[link redacted because Moviebob]

He just gets dumber by the second.
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9:08 "Culture went woke because you won't"

What incredibly nonsensical nonstatements that probably sound like huge owns on Bobo's head.
You have a lot of courage to watch the entirety of Bob’s videos. I can’t make it passed [sic] 45 seconds without Bob’s insufferable voice.
I refuse to watch any of Bob's videos. I value my brain cells; exposing them to a Moviebob video "essay" would consititute a mass genocide.



The sorceress Circe have rounded them them with pop culture and turned them into MovieBobs.

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Seriously stir-fried bean sprouts are heavenly and I can eat a ton in one go, but putting it between two slice of bread is just gross: the juice just soak into the bread.
Read the date on this photo. All I have to say is, "Oh, crap!" I was thinking that photo was some subtle April Fool's joke. Unless the portion of meat is puny, there's no way I can believe that any kind of "steak" sandwich costs only five bucks--especially in Massachusetts during a failing economy.



Bobby. Buddy. Sucking up to Elon Musk now that he's currently Twitter's highest shareholder... not a good idea. Given your rather... exhaustive history of character defamation--which includes calling Elon completely detestable, dumb as fuck, an unstable shithead, a punchable foreign dork, and someone whose endavors would be better off without him--well... let's just say that he won't be doing you any favors outside of ending your Twitter accounts. And besides, Elon's done far more to advance science and technology in the past five years than you've done since you were born Bobby.



"They chose to heed Moviebob's advice. They have chosen... poorly."



Zeroth-World problem in Russia. Bobby hopes Russian girls would starve.
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Shut up, Sexistbob.



More Campus Maoism in the USA:
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Does this fall under the "tactics, targets" header?



Bobby clarifies that Film School is basically tech training. Film School won't teach you taste.
Nor did Moviebob learn anything about human decency in film school.

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So there is no surprise that Bobby graduated as an ignoramus philistine, still you have to wonder why he hasn't amassed a large technical skillset.
Other than "increase vocal playback speed by 15%"... yeah, I got nothing.
 
Going back to that director thing. Im pretty sure I have heard Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson talk about being big movie fans. Especially horror. And shit, Lucas and Spielberg obviously both are.

Actually, see a lot of these older guys do have the problem of growing up in a world where watching a movie was more difficult. So they probably haven't consumed movies like what people think movie buffs do now. So, in that regard, I am sure they do pan out differently. But, like I can't think of many directors you can't either immediately notice what kinda movies they like, or have just straight out told people
 
@glib I think Bob's trying to insinuate that the cut-rate community college whence he got his film degree had Directors and Normie Crack Technicians as teachers that taught him this shit. Gonna press X to doubt on that.

I imagine "genre literate" means people who can distinguish the various genres of movies and what they're all about. So basically what Bob's saying is that Directors (according to him anyway, or the incompetent fools that taught him in Community College) don't give a shit about genres, their differences, etc. Maybe this is also Bob's way of saying they don't analyze the blue curtains, while he, the soopeeryah expert, does.

The idea Bob posits here, of a person having like fuck-all taste still being able to technically do the things to make the movie, makes no goddamn sense. I mean sure, you can get something out of it, but it'll likely be shit. Maybe taste can't be taught, but it sure as shit shouldn't be ignored in people trying to get their foot in the door. Lack of taste should disqualify anyone from being like say, a writer or director.

I mean, he talked to James Gunn once, didn't he? Does that count as talking to a Director for the purposes of this concept?

Interesting point relevant to Bob's screed here: Many actors don't watch movies (or TV) because they simply do not have time to do so. A long time ago, I made a decision. For me, it was huge. I could either watch Television, or I could be involved in making Television. I couldn't have it both ways. So, being the sperg I am, I chose watch. Some actors might be egotistical and not want to watch other people's movies, but for the most part, it's just lack of time.

You can press that x harder because you are right.

Robert claim that most directors aren't "film buffs" does have some validity, they are not, they won't quote old movie and they don't know trivia shit about castings and they don't watch a whole lot of movies outiside of what interest them. But to dismiss directors as just technicians is ludicrous.

Directors, and you could say "creators" in general have "normie tastes" as in they are not trivia dispensers like Robert here is, are so because they are too busiy making their own shit instead of obsessing over others works. Yes, a writer should be well read, but he doesn't need to be able to quote every classic, that ain't a show of skill, it is just a shallow flex.

And yes robert, Herzog was making a joke about directors being a boot camp leader, because Herzog himself teaches directing online and on universities. Directing is about maintaining the coesion of a project. You have writers, technicians and actors all doing their jobs, but they do need a DIRECTION to know what to do, and that is a 24 hour job, at least for the good director, and that is the reason why most people who want to join the movie making business end up as production assitant and grip holders, because most people can't take the brutal work load.

To put on a simple tgerm that even simpletons like Robert can understand: Janusz Kamiński is one of the most celebrated cinematographers and one of the longest film partners Spielberg ever had, shooting a lot of his most celebrated movies.

Kamiński knows more about how to block a scene and how light works and every intrinsic way you have to work to reach a distinct composition more than Spielberg could ever hope to know, the man is a genius on his technical work.

That doesn't mean shit if Spielberg ain't happy if the final shot, and as great as Kamiński is, it is his job to follow what Spielberg wants, and it is Spielberg job to know what he wants, because while Kamiński can block a scene for a certain mood or feeling, Spilberg is the one who also has to get he actors to perform in coesion with his scene, and also make sure the score fits, and also make sure the editing fits.

So no Robert, directing ain't just being a "normie technician", you do need a passion for film, more specifically, film-MAKING, not so much watching.
 
So I was watching this today...

Unless E;R is lying to the point of doctoring clips, forget the lore, the HALO series just sucks PERIOD.

The story literally has alien invaders attacking and killing human survivors unprovoked and yet the story still has Master Chief and the protagonist rebel against the human military system.

Or to put this in terms Bobby can understand: imagine we watched on screen a bunch of nazis rounding up innocent minorities and slaughtering them only to have the Avengers all show up and kill the nazis. Then the following scene has the protagonist decide they must rebel against said Avengers.

Actually I think the story may try a "aliens were good all along" which was one of Bob's ideas so maybe that's it. Maybe Bob wrote this show. That's how dumb it is REGARDLESS of the source.
Everyone who guessed that Halo would suck, feel free to claim your No Prize.

Also, I knew Master Chief wouldn't keep his helmet on, but I'd never have guessed he'd have taken it off in the first episode when a hostile was pointing a rifle directly at him.
 
There isn't a "best" of MovieBob, guy is a fucking asshole some 99% of the time and an annoying, unlikeable cocksucker on the rest. There are just some moments where Bob is being even more of an unhinged lunatic than usual, or just going above the board on his narcissistic displays of stupidity lol!
That's my point - how can you chose between his usual spiel and his most retarded takes?
 
@Positron can you tell us your process for selecting the best of MovieBob? This man eats, breathes and craps twitter.
There isn't a "best" of MovieBob, guy is a fucking asshole...
Coming up with a "Best of Moviebob" video compilation is surprisingly easy: Five second intro; five minutes of a black screen underscored by complete silence; credit roll.
 
So I was watching a video on YouTube about the Fermi Paradox, and on the topic of the "great filter", one of the greatest contestant for what it might be is large-scale, technologically advanced warfare. Perhaps every sentient lifeform that develops intelligence at the scale of humanity are highly likely to eventually wipe itself out, thus rendering the cosmos cold and silent. Rather than colonizing other planets, intelligent lifeforms are more susceptible towards the tempation of wiping its own species out with nukes, in the name of protecting their worlds from their respective versions of the mayonnaise ghouls. If the great filter does not consist of natural catastrophes on a cataclysmic scale, it could very well come in the form of ourselves.

For all of Robert's constant sperging about the necessities of reaching for the stars, in his incessant quest for moon wheat and a robot body that he's totally earned, his rancid personality that calls for the extermination of large swaths of other people on the daily is a poignant example of everything about our species that keeps us from advancing and exploring the mysteries of our universe. Him being little more than a creature of spite is demonstrative of everything that regresses us as a species, keeping us from fulfilling our potential. Robert's purported ambitions in the name of science and discovery, contrasted with his ever disgusting conduct, is irony at its finest.
 
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