Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?

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"Good morning, Mr. Chipman. This is CWC publishing. We recently took a look through the book you gave us to publish and well, we have a few questions. First, are you aware that 600 of these pages are blank? Maybe you accidentally sent us a bad print? We think that may be the case because the only thing that is written is "Fuck Gamergate and the patriarchy". We're not even sure what any of that means... One last thing, are you sure you want to use this picture of you in a Mario costume as the cover image? If you're feeling self conscious we could just use someone else's photo. That's what Mr. King did when he released books under the name Richard Bachman. Anyway, if you could, please give us a call back or send us the actual book. We'd really appreciate it. Thank you and have a safe day."
 
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Bugaboo said:
What if he writes a fictional novel and it's so bad it becomes the stuff of legends
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Then Shakespeare, Tolkien and every writer known to man will rise up and fight each other to the death in a Highlander style of tournament to see who truly is the writer of legend.

That or they take turns to german suplex Bob due to his awful writing and the offense he made to literature.

Im kinda surprised Bob hasn't made it to the Lolcow wiki yet. Judging from the shit he has been doing lately, he's very alarmingly close to being Nintendo's Chris Chan. And that's not a term I use lightly.
 
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_blank_ said:
I never got around to reading Chipman's ode to his wasted youth, so I can't really comment on it.

However, I do know the exact moment Chipman stopped being mildly entertaining to watch for me, and more into the cringe territory.


This video, posted about a year and a half before GG occured, was where thing just got too stupid for me to care about his opinions anymore.

The movie in question is Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, which is exactly as stupid as the title leads on. It's a throwaway movie made in the same vein as "Van Helsing" and "I, Frankenstein." Shit most people realize is just matinee fodder, or that one movie in yor Netflix queue you intend to eventually get around to watching. (BTW, I have watched this movie. It sucks. Don't waste your time.)

Chippy however goes on long tirade, going on how this movie is misogynistic because they're hunting witches, and therefore women. Also being from Massachusetts, he also decides to powerlevel a strong deal by bringing up the Salem witch trials.

Best part though is how he whines about the "undercurrent of mysogyny" for a good minute before ogling the main heroine in her leather ensemble (Classy motherfucker, Chippy is). Then a minute later in, goes back into obsessing about beating on witches and how "it seems" that Gretel is slapped around more than Hansel, totally ignoring the times Hansel got his ass handed to him. Hansel don't fucking matter- gotta protect the women in the tight leather pants so Bobby can get a chubby.
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Yeah it's so insensitive to make a film that could be taken as a reference to a horrible event that happened over 300 years ago. The memory is still fresh! It was so recent! #SalemLivesMatter
 
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UglyOldJafar said:
question though: What will the subject be? Especially if he is going to make a book that is over 700 pages long.
His Mario book was around 200 long, a third of it being introduction and him talking about his life, 25 pages about how the controls work and the rest the walkthrough.
Is he going to write another lets play or is this going to be a novel based on the Game Overthinker?
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Does it really matter? MovieBlobert's a terrible writer regardless. About the only thing we all know will happen is that GamerGate and/or Mario will be involved from the beginning. Or shoehorned into the story in some fashion.
 
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Jewelsmakerguy said:
Does it really matter? MovieBlobert's a terrible writer regardless. About the only thing we all know will happen is that GamerGate and/or Mario will be involved from the beginning. Or shoehorned into the story in some fashion.
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Speaking of Mario, his first abomination wasn't really about Mario 3 anyway. It's about Blob's life and how much he obsess about Mario.
 
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Accel_Rider said:
Speaking of Mario, his first abomination wasn't really about Mario 3 anyway. It's about Blob's life and how much he obsess about Mario.
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And when he does bring up Mario 3, it's so full of over-detailed descriptions of the levels. Making me wonder what the real intention of the book was.

I mean, besides it being a self-masturbatory aid for Blob.
 
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Jewelsmakerguy said:
And when he does bring up Mario 3, it's so full of over-detailed descriptions of the levels. Making me wonder what the real intention of the book was.

I mean, besides it being a self-masturbatory aid for Blob.
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Did he even look into the actual code of the game? Or the making of? Or was the whole thing -- as I'm suspecting -- a protracted autism filibuster about things like the color pallet which he based solely from playing the game rather than any actual fucking digging into the nuts and bolts?
 
*Asterisk* said:
Did he even look into the actual code of the game? Or the making of? Or was the whole thing -- as I'm suspecting -- a protracted autism filibuster about things like the color pallet which he based solely from playing the game rather than any actual fucking digging into the nuts and bolts?
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To my knowledge, no. I have not read his Magnus Opus (because I have better thing to do, like eating ice) so I may be wrong.
 
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*Asterisk* said:
Did he even look into the actual code of the game? Or the making of? Or was the whole thing -- as I'm suspecting -- a protracted autism filibuster about things like the color pallet which he based solely from playing the game rather than any actual fucking digging into the nuts and bolts?
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Nope. Never even talked the color palettes. It's just a let's play in book form mixed in with the spergiest autobiography ever put into book form.
 
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*Asterisk* said:
Did he even look into the actual code of the game? Or the making of? Or was the whole thing -- as I'm suspecting -- a protracted autism filibuster about things like the color pallet which he based solely from playing the game rather than any actual fucking digging into the nuts and bolts?
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The book is something a religious zealot would write but with Mario instead of Jesus or Allah.
Also autism,especially when He write about the '90s console war or His private life.
 
Malt Liquor said:
The book is something a religious zealot would write but with Mario instead of Jesus or Allah.
Also autism,especially when He write about the '90s console war or His private life.
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I read some reviews of Brick by Brick online, because I don't want to give this man money, and Blob's "prose" feels unfiltered, raw and above all else creepy and possessing the hallmarks of an obsessed loser. When I told my sister that the book was part "written let's play", part creepy autobiography and part unsettling shrine to the holy, unimpeachable Nintendo, she said "That's really pathetic."
 
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He flag out says in the introduction that he didn't know what to write about, just that he wanted to write a book. Brilliant way to draw in your readers.
 
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