Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Emperor Julian]

That, and Roger Ebert wasn't a crazed Mario fanboy who thinks the release of a video game was more important than 9/11 or a family member's death.

Plus Rogers politics didn't involve squabbling with movie fans on twitter and ham-fistidly shoving it into every fucking subject.

 

[Loppkkopl]

 

[CatParty]

he's not wrong

 

[Emperor Julian]

Not that Bob would know much about gym culture.

 

[Loppkkopl]

Not that Bob would know much about gym culture.

Get fit with Bob!

 

[Positron]

How do you adapt a "love of tattoos" into a movie?

And here are some choice bits from his "review" of BvS:
"...a malignant, puss-bleeding cancer on the ass of its own genre."
"I was so shaken (literally shaking with rage!)"
"It is steaming, rotten, sunbaked, oozing shit."

He says a video version of the "review" is coming soon. Will he relive his 15 seconds of fame after Pixel?

 

[Loppkkopl]

The more Bob pisses on the movie the more I'll probably like it.

 

[The Nothingness]

Be prepared to compare and contrast this review with his one for Captain America: Civil War.

 

[Accel_Rider]

How do you adapt a "love of tattoos" into a movie?

And here are some choice bits from his "review" of BvS:
"...a malignant, puss-bleeding cancer on the ass of its own genre."
"I was so shaken (literally shaking with rage!)"
"It is steaming, rotten, sunbaked, oozing shit."

He says a video version of the "review" is coming soon. Will he relive his 15 seconds of fame after Pixel?

"Is this the most brutal review of Batman vs Superman ever?"

 

[Foltest]

How do you adapt a "love of tattoos" into a movie?

And here are some choice bits from his "review" of BvS:
"...a malignant, puss-bleeding cancer on the ass of its own genre."
"I was so shaken (literally shaking with rage!)"
"It is steaming, rotten, sunbaked, oozing shit."

He says a video version of the "review" is coming soon. Will he relive his 15 seconds of fame after Pixel?

I was already going to see it, but seeing as blob is hating it, I think that I will like it. I have also read two reviews of it where the reviewer liked the film.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Can Bob collapse under the immense weight of his stupidity and become a neutron star, already?

nah, neutron stars are actually beautiful and interesting
and black holes are cool too so he can't collapse into that too.
maybe just a brown drawf

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Regarding Pixels: yes, it's a bad movie, but the only way it could be as bad as Bob believes it to be is if you've only seen 20 movies.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Regarding Pixels: yes, it's a bad movie, but the only way it could be as bad as Bob believes it to be is if you've only seen 20 movies.

And Bob clearly hasn't even seen that. He's just bitchy because Sandler's successful and he's a fat mother fucker on the internet with a shitty review series and a crappy autobiography.

 

[AnOminous]

That, and Roger Ebert wasn't a crazed Mario fanboy who thinks the release of a video game was more important than 9/11 or a family member's death.

Roger Ebert was also objective and fair in his reviews and had an encyclopedic knowledge of cinema.

Back when there was Siskel & Ebert, I used to refer to them as "the skinny guy who hates everything" and "the fat guy who loves everything." Not exactly fair, but he was generally pretty generous in recognizing the good qualities even in movies he didn't like. If Ebert said something outright sucked, it did.

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Roger Ebert was also objective and fair in his reviews and had an encyclopedic knowledge of cinema.

Back when there was Siskel & Ebert, I used to refer to them as "the skinny guy who hates everything" and "the fat guy who loves everything." Not exactly fair, but he was generally pretty generous in recognizing the good qualities even in movies he didn't like. If Ebert said something outright sucked, it did.

When I first read MovieBob's Pixels review, I felt it was a shitty impression of what Ebert did to North.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

When I first read MovieBob's Pixels review, I felt it was a shitty impression of what Ebert did to North.

Plus North actually fucking deserved that.

 

[AnOminous]

Plus North actually fucking deserved that.

One of my favorite Ebert reviews, not to get too off-topic but it's an example of how utterly opposite Ebert is from the revolting and worthless Movieblob, was his review of The Devil's Rejects.

To quote its first paragraph:

Here is a gaudy vomitorium of a movie, violent, nauseating and really a pretty good example of its genre. If you are a hardened horror movie fan capable of appreciating skill and wit in the service of the deliberately disgusting, "The Devil's Rejects" may exercise a certain strange charm. If on the other hand you close your eyes if a scene gets icky, here is a movie to see with blinders on, because it starts at icky and descends relentlessly through depraved and nauseating to the embrace of road kill.

Note, this is a positive review.

He then goes on to appreciate this movie's wonderful qualities and unlike almost all other critics, actually recognize Zombie, at least in this one movie, actually put his own extensive cinematic knowledge and humor to good effect and made a good movie.

And then, going back to recognizing his own usual audience, he finished with a warning.

OK, now, listen up, people. I don't want to get any e-mail messages from readers complaining that I gave the movie three stars, and so they went to it expecting to have a good time, and it was the sickest and most disgusting movie they've ever seen. My review has accurately described the movie and explained why some of you might appreciate it and most of you will not, and if you decide to go, please don't claim you were uninformed.

I particularly like this review because Ebert is well aware that he has a large audience and that audience has different parts to it. Some will appreciate the fairly ghastly movie he also appreciated, but many of them will be shocked and horrified and go into tard rages. He serves his audience and its many parts by recognizing this and compartmentalizing the audience and directing parts of his review explicitly to those parts.

Okay, back to Movieblob.

Movieblob is a fat amateurish autist who does not understand movies, media in general, and much less, he neither appreciates that he has an audience or just assumes everyone in his audience completely agrees with him and therefore, his "reviews" are just a buffoonish attempt to force his views on the audience.

And this is some idiotic fat fuck who thinks the original Mario is the height of vidya.

So don't expect much better from this idiot when the subject is film or any form of art with any complexity to it.

He's just a somewhat more well-spoken Chris-Chan with stupid opinions about movies. And instead of being obsessed with Sonic, he's obsessed with Mario.

He should really kill himself.

It is a sad world where Movieblob is alive and Roger Ebert is dead.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

One of my favorite Ebert reviews, not to get too off-topic but it's an example of how utterly opposite Ebert is from the revolting and worthless Movieblob, was his review of The Devil's Rejects.

To quote its first paragraph:



Note, this is a positive review.

He then goes on to appreciate this movie's wonderful qualities and unlike almost all other critics, actually recognize Zombie, at least in this one movie, actually put his own extensive cinematic knowledge and humor to good effect and made a good movie.

And then, going back to recognizing his own usual audience, he finished with a warning.



I particularly like this review because Ebert is well aware that he has a large audience and that audience has different parts to it. Some will appreciate the fairly ghastly movie he also appreciated, but many of them will be shocked and horrified and go into tard rages. He serves his audience and its many parts by recognizing this and compartmentalizing the audience and directing parts of his review explicitly to those parts.

Okay, back to Movieblob.

Movieblob is a fat amateurish autist who does not understand movies, media in general, and much less, he neither appreciates that he has an audience or just assumes everyone in his audience completely agrees with him and therefore, his "reviews" are just a buffoonish attempt to force his views on the audience.

And this is some idiotic fat fuck who thinks the original Mario is the height of vidya.

So don't expect much better from this idiot when the subject is film or any form of art with any complexity to it.

He's just a somewhat more well-spoken Chris-Chan with stupid opinions about movies. And instead of being obsessed with Sonic, he's obsessed with Mario.

He should really kill himself.

It is a sad world where Movieblob is alive and Roger Ebert is dead.

No, he thinks Mario 3 is the height of vidya.

And it's amazing MovieBlobert even knows how to walk and talk, much less "talk" about movies and insert his piss-poor views of politics into the reviews he makes..

 

[Hellsperger]

I do kinda like Bob's videos where he speculates on the future of video games, though. Even if everything else he does is "so good it's bad" at best.

 

[Loppkkopl]

I do kinda like Bob's videos where he speculates on the future of video games

Is it just him saying how great it used to be, how everything Nintendo does is golden despite them milking the same few franchises for the past few decades and how he hopes all them dudebros playing Xbox die?