Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Bob doesn't understand where resources come from. He seemingly thinks that a single spralling wheat farm on the moon would be enough to feed the entire planet. Setting aside the fact that terraforming the moon is impossible, such a thing probably couldn't feed a single Manhatten-ized New York let alone a whole planet with places like that.
 
Here's the full version of that rant, if anyone's curious. Spoiler: It only sounds more insane and stupid:
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What does Bob even think people do in the middle states that a Google arm is needed for success? Like even the most obvious example of successful farms in those regions. Does Bob think everyone in those "dead zones" just gets drunk and wave Confederate flags all day?
And also, he thinks DiCaprio's a closet fat guy. Yep, no projection here.
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I love how excited he is to see a big name like DiCaprio become a fat guy and implies guys will feel less threatened. Bob if you feel so self-conscience about it just exercise and try to lose the weight. Has this guy ever even tried not being a fat guy?
 
Fake news. No one lives in Wisconsin.
What about these hack frauds? They're even more talented than Bob.
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As a native NYCer I can state without a doubt that Bob is a fucking moron and has no idea just how terrible of an idea that is. NYC is a incredibly stressful and inefficient way to live - from corrupt politicians to incredibly inefficient public works. A "Manhattanized" New York State would be an unholy abomination.

Look, Bob, you need to get medication for your autism. We shove about 8 million people as residents in Manhattan, another 10 million commute into it for work. We don't have the population in the entire world to "Manhattanize" New York State.

Never mind the problem of feeding that many people in that small of a space. Shit, prices in Manhattan are astronomical as they are - imagine the entire state with the same population density!

We can't actually farm wheat on the moon.

You're a fucking moron, Bob, and anyone that takes you seriously is equally as stupid.
 
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He might see them as nothing but trucker hats and shotguns.
 
As a native NYCer I can state without a doubt that Bob is a fucking moron and has no idea just how terrible of a idea that is. NYC is a incredibly stressful and inefficient way to live - from corrupt politicians to incredibly inefficient public works. A "Manhattanized" New York State would be an unholy abomination.

Look, Bob, you need to get medication for your autism. We shove about 8 million people as residents in Manhattan, another 10 million commute into it for work. We don't have the population in the entire world to "Manhattanize" New York State.

Never mind the problem of feeding that many people in that small of a space. Shit, prices in Manhattan are astronomical as they are - imagine the entire state with the same population density!

We can't actually farm wheat on the moon.

You're a fucking moron, Bob, and anyone that takes you seriously is equally as stupid.
I'm afraid Bob was a visitor to your fine metropolis last week and would patiently explain to you, with two or more allusions to genocide, why your opinion here is really rather unSuperior.
 
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Never mind the problem of feeding that many people in that small of a space. Shit, prices in Manhattan are astronomical as they are - imagine the entire state with the same population density!

Time to repost these.
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That's what bugged me in the Hunger Games. Like... why can't the districts just starve out the Capital. (not like you can bomb farmers into giving you food)

Actually I'm starting to wonder if Bob considers the Hunger Games an ideal instead of a dystopia. Probably thinks the books are a cautionary tale about what happens when the rubes fight against the superior future.
 
Time to repost these.
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That's what bugged me in the Hunger Games. Like... why can't the districts just starve out the Capital. (not like you can bomb farmers into giving you food)

Actually I'm starting to wonder if Bob considers the Hunger Games an ideal instead of a dystopia. Probably thinks the books are a cautionary tale about what happens when the rubes fight against the superior future.

This is brilliant. Also, just for giggles I tried to figure out how many people would live in a "fully Manhattanized" NYS. Because I don't care enough to do more than cursory research, I googled the state's size (about 54,000 square miles) and Manhattan's population density (about 67,000 people per square mile). Put em together and you get ... over 3.6 billion people.

Now try to imagine that a) this is even possible, that b) it wouldn't run into all the problems outlined in the comic Flexo posted, and c) this would be just one of at least 5 such sprawls in Bob's Superior Future (throw in LA / Silicon Valley, DC, Chicago, and maybe something around Atlanta and/or Florida). Imagine all that ... and that this is actually desirable instead of a Boschean urban hellscape drawn directly from a nightmarish crossbreed of Blade Runner and Dante's City of Dis. Try not to think about the crime, the ruined sectors, the areas that have almost collapsed from neglect, the horror show of filth and probably unimaginable diseases that would spring up from such a concentration of humanity, the disasters that would happen whenever the infrastructure failed for some reason (and it would fail sooner or later, probably on a semi-regular basis) ... imagine all that and ... congratulations! Your head is now as far up your ass as Bob's.
 
If I had to be Bob Chipman, I'd call every day a waking nightmare too.
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Cause it's not like John McClane ever had to deal with villains connected to his past. *Cough* Die Hards 1 & 3 *Cough*
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This is brilliant. Also, just for giggles I tried to figure out how many people would live in a "fully Manhattanized" NYS. Because I don't care enough to do more than cursory research, I googled the state's size (about 54,000 square miles) and Manhattan's population density (about 67,000 people per square mile). Put em together and you get ... over 3.6 billion people.

Now try to imagine that a) this is even possible, that b) it wouldn't run into all the problems outlined in the comic Flexo posted, and c) this would be just one of at least 5 such sprawls in Bob's Superior Future (throw in LA / Silicon Valley, DC, Chicago, and maybe something around Atlanta and/or Florida). Imagine all that ... and that this is actually desirable instead of a Boschean urban hellscape drawn directly from a nightmarish crossbreed of Blade Runner and Dante's City of Dis. Try not to think about the crime, the ruined sectors, the areas that have almost collapsed from neglect, the horror show of filth and probably unimaginable diseases that would spring up from such a concentration of humanity, the disasters that would happen whenever the infrastructure failed for some reason (and it would fail sooner or later, probably on a semi-regular basis) ... imagine all that and ... congratulations! Your head is now as far up your ass as Bob's.
You have also put far more thought into this than Bob has. Think of Animal Farm to get an idea of how this ran through Bobs head. Rural Countryside=Inferior. Urban Metropolis=Superior. After all. NYC is Superior America...So why not make it bigger. Cant have too much of a "Good" thing now can we?:drink:
 
I'm afraid Bob was a visitor to your fine metropolis last week and would patiently explain to you, with two or more allusions to genocide, why your opinion here is really rather unSuperior.
I can't wait for the guy who hates Broadway shows explain to me why I'm culturally ignorant.
That's what bugged me in the Hunger Games. Like... why can't the districts just starve out the Capital. (not like you can bomb farmers into giving you food)

Actually I'm starting to wonder if Bob considers the Hunger Games an ideal instead of a dystopia. Probably thinks the books are a cautionary tale about what happens when the rubes fight against the superior future.
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Yes, he's that far gone.
 
This is brilliant. Also, just for giggles I tried to figure out how many people would live in a "fully Manhattanized" NYS. Because I don't care enough to do more than cursory research, I googled the state's size (about 54,000 square miles) and Manhattan's population density (about 67,000 people per square mile). Put em together and you get ... over 3.6 billion people.

I got ya.
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Yes, he's that far gone.

Someone get the phone because I called it!
(actually I think that rant was put up before and I probably had a fragment of a memory of it)

Of course think even more about Bob here. His complaint about Hunger Games isn't about it's practicality, or inconsistency, or anything else. It's about the fact that the people in the story who are supposed to be villains, are too much like the people in real life he wants to be heroes.

He just has no theory of the mind does he? He's autism warped by the only thing more massive than his weight: his ego.
 
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