Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Done]

Bob never focuses on the death of family members and goes off on bullshit tangents instead. He skipped a funeral to get a new aircon.

The weirdest thing about that funeral is his resolution.. Like when normal people see death they usually resolve to be better in some way: I'll be more healthy/work harder/spend more family time.

Bob's reaction is this:



Yes, of all possible life-improving resolutions, Bob went for finishing his SMB3 playthrough before he moves

Same thing goes for when his father passed, 1st thought on his mind was "That Nazi Supergirl sure is hot!".

 

[TheImportantFart]

Time to :powerlevel: a bit, but when I was in high school I followed the pop internet reviewer crowd religiously. I was a total fucking sperg slut for TGWTG and their contemperaries

And I had never once heard of Moviebob until, years later, I found his thread. When I'd already gotten fucking tired of screeching autists talking about movies that don't matter.

The dude's an F-Lister among F-Listers. But he has the ego of someone who's transcended the letter lists entirely.

I was the same as you, but I used to go on the Escapist a lot too (admittedly mostly for Yahtzee, but I did used to watch Unskippable as well) and even then I never heard of Bob until I found his thread on here. I may have seen an advert for his show on the Escapist, but it never registered with me.

I've come across a grand total of two people who are big fans of his, and they both have lolcows threads on this site (Dobson and MrTARDISReviews).

 

[Flexo]

Again, points for honesty about life in a basement.

Bob you idiot, the fact that you earn very little is what makes you EXACTLY susceptible to a payoff. With as much as you complain about your money woes, if Disney offered you $2000 for a positive TLJ review, you wouldn't be on your hands and knees sucking the mouse dick?

You don't even have your normal excuse because usually in movies, the police officers getting paid off aren't rich or become rich either, they get just a little extra to make some bills go away. Dammit how do you keep failing at basic awareness?!

 

[MarineN*423543]

Bob you idiot, the fact that you earn very little is what makes you EXACTLY susceptible to a payoff. With as much as you complain about your money woes, if Disney offered you $2000 for a positive TLJ review, you wouldn't be on your hands and knees sucking the mouse dick?

You don't even have your normal excuse because usually in movies, the police officers getting paid off aren't rich or become rich either, they get just a little extra to make some bills go away. Dammit how do you keep failing at basic awareness?!

because :autism:?

 

[Chan the Wizard]

While no one has ever tried to bribe Bob because he’s a hack, studios routinely host press junkets with free food and accommodations, sometimes in exotic locations, for reviewers. Sometimes even throwing in extra days.
In fact, the low wages he bemoans make them more susceptible to such bribery.

 

[Positron]

Some "critics" can be paid off with sex, with some ugly, promiscuous, mentally-ill dangerhair lowlife skank.
Compared to these, "critics" who take money seem downright high-minded.

 

[Done]

Bob you idiot, the fact that you earn very little is what makes you EXACTLY susceptible to a payoff. With as much as you complain about your money woes, if Disney offered you $2000 for a positive TLJ review, you wouldn't be on your hands and knees sucking the mouse dick?

You don't even have your normal excuse because usually in movies, the police officers getting paid off aren't rich or become rich either, they get just a little extra to make some bills go away. Dammit how do you keep failing at basic awareness?!

While no one has ever tried to bribe Bob because he’s a hack, studios routinely host press junkets with free food and accommodations, sometimes in exotic locations, for reviewers. Sometimes even throwing in extra days.
In fact, the low wages he bemoans make them more susceptible to such bribery.

Bribery comes in many forms other than what you guys mentioned, one of them is when movie studios give basement dwellers the air of importance via closed advance viewings, insider studio tours, leaks and other stuff.

There was a good blog post discussing it, but I can't find it now.

Some "critics" can be paid off with sex, with some ugly, promiscuous, mentally-ill dangerhair lowlife skank.
Compared to these, "critics" who take money seem downright high-minded.

Devin Faraci, by far the most connected of those neckbeard "critics" was thirsty enough to sexually harass multiple women. That in itself should tell you that this form of bribery never happened.

Or you know, just looking at Bob is proof enough.

 

[Mola Ram]

Devin Faraci, by far the most connected of those neckbeard "critics" was thirsty enough to sexually harass multiple women. That in itself should tell you that this form of bribery never happened.

I dunno. Guys like Faraci, once they've tasted the sweet nectar of payoff poontang, are apt to think they somehow earned it through their good looks (stop laughing), erudition (seriously, stop laughing), or sheer cultural impact (if you can't stop laughing, please leave the room). Take a blowhard like Faraci, add to him the mistaken notion he's a ladies' man, and I can easily see him going waaaaay too far with a woman just because he thinks he's that irresistible.

Or you know, just looking at Bob is proof enough.

This, on the other hand, I cannot refute.

 

[MarineN*423543]

While no one has ever tried to bribe Bob because he’s a hack, studios routinely host press junkets with free food and accommodations, sometimes in exotic locations, for reviewers. Sometimes even throwing in extra days.
In fact, the low wages he bemoans make them more susceptible to such bribery.

moving blob is not good enough even for bribes, that makes it more hilarious

The weirdest thing about that funeral is his resolution.. Like when normal people see death they usually resolve to be better in some way: I'll be more healthy/work harder/spend more family time.

Bob's reaction is this:

View attachment 337984

Yes, of all possible life-improving resolutions, Bob went for finishing his SMB3 playthrough before he moves

Same thing goes for when his father passed, 1st thought on his mind was "That Nazi Supergirl sure is hot!".

didnt know that so his mother is feeding his giant lard ass alone?

 

[Wesley Willis]

In the superior future, is Bob still fat?

 

[TS 298]

If Bob had to spend 6 months in India or Africa, I don't think he'd have the same hatred of White middle america and love of the Pee O' Seas.

Fun fact: Indians fucking love fat white guys. It's a sign of wealth there.

 

[Doug_Hitzel]

Fun fact: Indians fucking love fat white guys. It's a sign of wealth there.

Yeah, but that’s because they have elephant gods and shit.

 

[Positron]

In the superior future, is Bob still fat?

Bobby won't even exist in the dystropia he dreams of. He's a white male for fuck's sake.

 

[TS 298]

Yeah, but that’s because they have elephant gods and shit.

Don't compare Lord Ganesh, the personification of the infinite consciousness, master of the universe, remover of obstacles, and the lord of lords who accepts all penances, to Bob. Ganesh is graceful.

 

[Done]

In the superior future, is Bob still fat?

In the superior future, we're all gonna be fat.

 

[Doug_Hitzel]

Don't compare Lord Ganesh, the personification of the infinite consciousness, master of the universe, remover of obstacles, and the lord of lords who accepts all penances, to Bob. Ganesh is graceful.

Hinduism is just satanism with 4 extra arms.

 

[A Watchful Ghost]

I was the same as you, but I used to go on the Escapist a lot too (admittedly mostly for Yahtzee, but I did used to watch Unskippable as well) and even then I never heard of Bob until I found his thread on here. I may have seen an advert for his show on the Escapist, but it never registered with me.

I've come across a grand total of two people who are big fans of his, and they both have lolcows threads on this site (Dobson and MrTARDISReviews).

I know another two in that same range. They're not lowcows, but they follow the fatfuck's word to a teeth. And those are Cellspex, and Sam Galvin.

 

[Gordon Cole]

I'd never thought I'd see the day Bob would stick up for Pissy Pablo, but here we are.

It's a real shame that a person comes up with movie ideas out of pure spite.

"IT'S SEXIST AND ABLEIST TO CALL JILL STEIN CRAZY REEEEEEEEEEE!"

Can't wait till I see a movie where the orcs all need to be wiped out to make way for the superior mages.

Yay, now he has less of a reason to leave the basement!

It will never not amuse me to see people dogpile on Bob.

(Finally, John Morris was brave enough to see what would happen if he called hi out on his delusions.)

Why don't you "Take a lap"? You look like you really need one.

Sure you don't Bob. Sure you don't.

He doesn't have the "emotional fortitude" to watch... The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special.

Sure, we're the man-children.

 

[SuperSheep]

Can't wait till I see a movie where the orcs all need to be wiped out to make way for the superior mages.
View attachment 338206

No, the orcs need to be brought in to supplant the inferior humans.

 

[Mola Ram]

He doesn't have the "emotional fortitude" to watch... The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special.

Sure, we're the man-children.

Someone was asking earlier if it's possible to avoid violent feelings about Bob, what with the smugness and the rudeness and the totally unearned sense of superiority and the . . . you know, the genocide.

This right here is the answer. Bob inevitably becomes a laughingstock sooner or later. "Lacking the emotional fortitude" to watch Masters of the Universe is about as good as it gets, my friends. Slurp up that eggnog, you crazy fat fucker.