Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Ten bucks says that when Bob thinks of C.S. Lewis, he thinks Chronicles of Narnia. I try, try, try not to be salty, but I really think Screwtape nailed Bob to the wall on this one:

Screwtape Proposes a Toast said:
You are to use the word [democracy] as an incantation; if you like, purely for its selling power. It is a name they venerate. And of course it is connected with the political ideal that men should be equally treated. You then make a stealthy transition in their minds from this political ideal to a factual belief that all men are equal. Especially the man you are working on. As a result you can use the word democracy to sanction in his thought the most degrading (and also the least enjoyable) of human feelings. You can get him to practise, not only without shame but with a positive glow of self-approval, conduct which, if undefended by the magic word, would be universally derided.

The feeling I mean is of course that which prompts a man to say I’m as good as you.

The first and most obvious advantage is that you thus induce him to enthrone at the centre of his life a good, solid, resounding lie. I don’t mean merely that his statement is false in fact, that he is no more equal to everyone he meets in kindness, honesty, and good sense than in height or waist measurement. I mean that he does not believe it himself. No man who says I’m as good as you believes it. He would not say it if he did. The St. Bernard never says it to the toy dog, nor the scholar to the dunce, nor the employable to the bum, nor the pretty woman to the plain. The claim to equality, outside the strictly political field, is made only by those who feel themselves to be in some way inferior. What it expresses is precisely the itching, smarting, writhing awareness of an inferiority which the patient refuses to accept.

And therefore resents. Yes, and therefore resents every kind of superiority in others; denigrates it; wishes its annihilation. Presently he suspects every mere difference of being a claim to superiority. No one must be different from himself in voice, clothes, manners, recreations, choice of food: “Here is someone who speaks English rather more clearly and euphoniously than I — it must be a vile, upstage, la-di-da affectation. Here’s a fellow who says he doesn’t like hot dogs — thinks himself too good for them, no doubt. Here’s a man who hasn’t turned on the jukebox — he’s one of those goddamn highbrows and is doing it to show off. If they were honest-to-God all-right Joes they’d be like me. They’ve no business to be different. It’s undemocratic.”

Now, this useful phenomenon is in itself by no means new. Under the name of Envy it has been known to humans for thousands of years. But hitherto they always regarded it as the most odious, and also the most comical, of vices. Those who were aware of feeling it felt it with shame; those who were not gave it no quarter in others. The delightful novelty of the present situation is that you can sanction it — make it respectable and even laudable — by the incantatory use of the word democratic.

The joke is that Bob is approaching it from the opposite direction. "Here's a fellow who speaks English with a Southern accent--he must be a fascist alt-right Nazi. Here's a fellow who says he doesn't like Marvel movies--clearly someone that doesn't understand superior, nuanced entertainment. Here's someone who wants a job--FUCKING INFERIOR TROGLODYTES REEEEEEEEEEE. If they were honest-to-God forward-thinking intellectuals like me, they'd be all right."
 
It's bad him talking about leaving "those people" behind and focusing on other things.

That happened. And those people went on to elect Trump.

And for all of Bob's sperging on it, is the new Star Wars worth watching?
Considering how decided it’s made people, it’s worth is completely up to you.
 
It's bad him talking about leaving "those people" behind and focusing on other things.

That happened. And those people went on to elect Trump.

And for all of Bob's sperging on it, is the new Star Wars worth watching?

I just love Bob's "left behind" speech is the exact reason why those people voted for him in the first place, perhaps to remind those people with shitty coastal, aristocratic ways that they were still here. The person that is going to be "left behind" is Bob when he is bitter and alone because he spent all of his life in vitrol rather than trying to make peace.

As for the film, lets just say that it is fitting that the movie has a scene on a literal salt planet, as if the director knew he was going to piss people off. I believe that is part of the reason why Bob enjoyed it because its problems pisses people off he hates the most.
 
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So, for God knows what reason, many moons ago, my sister informed me the one true way to determine the size of a man's penis without seeing it firsthand is to gauge the size of his thumb. Due to a mix of alcohol, CSA and poor life decisions, I gave her the Fonzie and asked her what I was packing.

A sister should never correctly guess the size of her younger brother's cock. Despite the fact we no longer speak to each other, I have fully bought into her quasi-incestuous methodology.

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tl;dr - Bobby's packing three inches and a wrinkle.
 
So, for God knows what reason, many moons ago, my sister informed me the one true way to determine the size of a man's penis without seeing it firsthand is to gauge the size of his thumb. Due to a mix of alcohol, CSA and poor life decisions, I gave her the Fonzie and asked her what I was packing.

A sister should never correctly guess the size of her younger brother's cock. Despite the fact we no longer speak to each other, I have fully bought into her quasi-incestuous methodology.


tl;dr - Bobby's packing three inches and a wrinkle.
I did NOT need to think about Bob's dick size on fucking Christmas, you animal.
 
Chris looks like a dude you can chill out with and share a beer.

Bob has the look of, as Mark Lowry once put it, "I need to be slapped."
 
So, for God knows what reason, many moons ago, my sister informed me the one true way to determine the size of a man's penis without seeing it firsthand is to gauge the size of his thumb. Due to a mix of alcohol, CSA and poor life decisions, I gave her the Fonzie and asked her what I was packing.

A sister should never correctly guess the size of her younger brother's cock. Despite the fact we no longer speak to each other, I have fully bought into her quasi-incestuous methodology.


tl;dr - Bobby's packing three inches and a wrinkle.
Are you considering the fact it's at an angle?
 
Blob could easily add an inch or more if he got down to a healthy weight, although that would probably require surgery since the skin is so stretched out.
 
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I look forward to none of your ideas being implemented.
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Wait, wait, wait, WAIT! Correct me if I am wrong here, but did he just lump Washington and Lincoln with the Confederate States of America? Never mind the fact that Washington was dead for over seven decades before the American Civil War. Where was Blob when they were teaching history? Rattling the snack machine to loosen that stuck bag of Doritos? Seven states seceded from from the Union in protest of Lincoln's election and four more followed after he militarily challenged said secession. Also, the United States has Memorial Day as a day to remember the military dead in the bloodshed that followed.

The irony here is that Blob's reaction to the 2016 election reminds me of the South's reaction to Lincoln's election in 1860. For all their talk about secession (Calexit, anyone?) the rest of the country would quash any attempt at armed insurrection because Blob and his confederates are anti-Second Amendment. None of them handled a firearm and I highly doubt any them have the organizational skills to mount an effective rebellion against the government. Never mind the fact that the reason why Blob wants a repeal of the Second Amendment is to have a leftist government of the SUPERIOR FUTURE monopolize firearm ownership to suppress any attempt at armed resistance. I may be speaking out of my rectum here, but don't more people from the flyover country Blob hates enlist in the armed forces than those from more "enlightened" coastal metropoles? Joe Six-Pack from Tennessee and his pals would add some ventilation to their craniums pretty damn quick if they tried any sort of insurrection.

Lord, I would love to see him dropped off in an active war zone though he would be become a bullet sponge before he realized that the Nintendo/Sega Wars were inconsequential in comparison to real war

EDIT: Upon reviewing the tweet, I read that he wants to separate Lincoln and Washington's birthdays, but I fail how to see the it will teach those "Neo-Confederate shitheels" anything. Given how it is a state holiday and not a federal one, Blob is demonstrating his idiocy and arrogance again. I will just say "mea culpa" about sperging out and keep the main body intact as penance.
 
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You used to have both feet?

Remember when you had both feet?

That was weird.
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Again, how will a four-and-a-half hour long video about Batman v. Superman be useful to the world?
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I love how he decides sleeping like a normal person is "okay, this once."
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How much longer will Bob rant about BvS?Does he want to set a world record for how much you can overanalyse a comic book movie?Does Bob realise that most superhero movies are not exactly meant to be overanalysed like this?Even books written about the genre don't spend this much time on a single movie.Its almost fascinating that someone is this unable to trim down a review/analysis to the ideas that count.
 
You used to have both feet?

Remember when you had both feet?

That was weird.
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Again, how will a four-and-a-half hour long video about Batman v. Superman be useful to the world?
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I love how he decides sleeping like a normal person is "okay, this once."
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People still know who James Woods is, Bob. His name is recognizable to millions. That counts as still famous.

Remember when no one knows or cares who the fuck you are?

Also he’s talking about TLJ in that second tweet. Movie attendance dropped around 77% from opening weekend to this weekend.
 
What is wrong with his cheeks? It's like his head is trying to implode.

He looks like melting wax. I thought it was just because he is a fat fuck, but you can see it in his childhood photos too. He just got slapped with the fat and ugly stick.
 
I'm begging your pardon. Memorial Day is for what war? Were you taught history by Bob?

That is what I get for firing off my mouth before double checking my facts. I could also claim ignorance as a dirty foreigner, but the subject stoked my curiosity. After a rudimentary Google search, I see that the origins of Memorial Day are disputed with over two dozen cities and towns claiming to be the birthplace of the day. However, it was officially proclaimed in 1868 hence why I associated it with the American Civil War and the human cost of the Union's victory. [source] Given how Blob skipped his grandmother's funeral, I doubt the day has any significance to him outside of it being a coveted weekend for film releases.
 
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