Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Kyria the Great]

He can also sneer at the vast, unthinking masses for being afraid to compete, when he himself could not compete in any field whatsoever. He wants to be a critic; his criticism is shallow and derivative and frequently twisted by his biases to a laughable degree. He wants to be a writer; his writing is patently atrocious. He wants to be a filmmaker; he barely qualifies as amateur. If he weren't a legacy YouTuber from the days when there weren't many reviewers like him, would he have any kind of audience at all?

Hey come on, what have any of us accomplished? It isn't like we have published the autism masterpiece that is Brick by Brick?

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Hey come on, what have any of us accomplished? It isn't like we have published the autism masterpiece that is Brick by Brick?

I’m not going to lie, I would love to see a movie adaptation of that book.

 

[Alekto]

I see we're at the "If you don't like it, you're a racist manbaby" phase.

China is one of the largest game markets in the world, especially on mobile. But it's a walled garden, controlled by the Communist Party of China. You can't release anything commercial into this Communist market without a partnership with a Communist China company, usually Tencent. This is why emphasizing CHINESE developer is important. That market is all about government access and approval.

Bob is an ignorant chimp.

 

[Jaimas]

He just said he didn't care what people like as long as it doesn't harm people. Should we add short term memory loss to his list of health problems?

But on a broader point, he's commenting on Diablo. The most recent game was one of the most popular games ever selling 30 million copies and is the fastest selling PC game of all time if Wikipedia is to be believed. But fuck it, it's not Mario so Bob doesn't care, and if Bob doesn't care no one does.

This is Mass Effect 3 all over again. Bob is completely ignorant of the subject, but he has to have an opinion and it has to be the one true opinion with no deviation allowed.

What Bob doesn't realise (or doesn't care) is that the whole "entitled gamer" insult was something that started because of Mass Effect 3 (though it had been building up before that) because gamers wouldn't eat corporate slop with a smile and ask for seconds. Game journalists jumped on that bandwagon because they were being paid, be it with gifts or privileged access. Bob is doing it for free. Maybe he's trying to defend his friends, but more likely it gives his a convenient stick to beat people he doesn't like. I try to avoid assuming what people's motives are, but Bob already said people who are concerned about loot boxes are disingenuous so his motives are fair game as far as I'm concerned.

Oh my fucking god, this obese chunk of failure really hasn't learned anything.

For the uninitiated amongst you, the ME3 controversy was basically a dry run for what would become Gamergate. Every single assclown who would become an Anti-GGer pontificating about how the biggest problem with Vidya was its own customerbase was someone who, fucking without exception, went to the mat declaring that those bitching about the fucking absolute fuck-up that was ME3's ending were nothing but entitled brats who didn't deserve this awesome beautiful magical game they were given. It was a great example of how completely, utterly out-of-touch the gaming press was, as one by one they went to the mat defending what was clearly a fucking train-wreck beyond salvation.

There's an old lesson that more companies should heed, and it's a pretty ancient one: Don't shit where you eat.
Your customers are priority one. You don't have them, you don't have diddlysquat, no matter how much the shareholders pretend otherwise.

 

[KuwabaraTheMan]

The "gaming press" has always been a joke even when it was print media.

Normal people don't white knight corporations because their lives aren't completely defined by media. However there are losers, mental cases and fat disgusting fucks out there who have to defend their beloved vidya games and capeshit because it fills the hole in their lives that would otherwise be filled with friends, family, and a decent career.

 

[Alekto]

The "gaming press" has always been a joke even when it was print media.

Normal people don't white knight corporations because their lives aren't completely defined by media. However there are losers, mental cases and fat disgusting fucks out there who have to defend their beloved vidya games and capeshit because it fills the hole in their lives that would otherwise be filled with friends, family, and a decent career.

If you want to see full-on, hardcore media fellatio, look no further than the Apple press and beat writers. Not saying Apple doesn't have good products, that in many ways an iPhone is better than android because Apple doesn't sell your privacy quite so aggressively, but damn, that is one captive press.

 

[Jaimas]

If you want to see full-on, hardcore media fellatio, look no further than the Apple press and beat writers. Not saying Apple doesn't have good products, that in many ways an iPhone is better than android because Apple doesn't sell your privacy quite so aggressively, but damn, that is one captive press.

If you ever want to see one of them shift gears without the clutch, tell them you have a Microsoft Phone or N-Gage. Funnier if you have a shell that makes your phone look even remotely the part.

Never fails to fucking entertain.

 

[GethN7]

You know what the difference between Bob and Gaben is?

When the guy who runs Steam dies, he'll be so rich he could line his coffin with tons of hundred dollar bills because realizes money talks, and if customers roll in due to something like porn and controversy, not fighting those products and getting rich is a good thing.

When Bob dies, the only thing that will fill his coffin is excess lard because people who take him seriously hate earning money and piss on their consumers.

 

[Judge Dredd]

How does he know Billy Joel was singing about Diablo fans?

With his fist in the air and his head in the sand
And he's never been able to learn from mistakes
So he can't understand why his heart always breaks
But his honor is pure and his courage as well
And he's fair and he's true and he's boring as hell
And he'll go to the grave as an angry old man

Sounds more like a song about the kind of man that is still angry about Batman v Superman, Yoshi's Island, and #RehireJamesGunn.

 

[Knyttet]

Bob's 37.
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Is he seriously gonna put a Mario star at the top of his christmas tree??

He is like a parody skit of himself!

 

[Princess Rescuer]

Why would Vlad waste money on developing robots to hack elections and give American movies bad reviews as revenge for the Cold War? Why would that be a bigger priority to Russians than having a pint?

Also, Twitter is appealing to losers because it allows them to feel better and smarter than those who are too busy accomplishing things to use Twitter. BTW, how active are Miyamoto and Sakurai on Twitter?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Why would Vlad waste money on developing robots to hack elections and give American movies bad reviews as revenge for the Cold War? Why would that be a bigger priority to Russians than having a pint?

Because Bob is ignorant about culture, even his own.

 

[User names must be unique]

Also, Twitter is appealing to losers because it allows them to feel better and smarter than those who are too busy accomplishing things to use Twitter. BTW, how active are Miyamoto and Sakurai on Twitter?

When twitter removes the like button I honestly believe it's going to drive a lot of these losers crazy(crazier) not having their digital asspats anymore.

 

[Alekto]

This is total spergery, but hey.

CHIMPMAN: "So umm, I'm here to take Violet Hargrave out on a date."
JAKE THE FAKE: "That's me."
CHIMPMAN: "But you're..."
JAKE: "It's a glandular disorder."
CHIMPMAN (confused): "Okay..."
JAKE: "If I leave my house, I will die."
CHIMPMAN: (backing away): "This is a Seinfeld episode?"
JAKE: "I'm a Muslim woman because the Jews did 9/11! Hater!"
CHIMPMAN: (running away, but falls down): "Help me police, even though you are racists, I fell down and bonked my head because I am fat and incapable!"
JAKE on Twitter: "OMG, tonight I was raped by Bob Chimpman."

 

[Gordon Cole]

Spoiler: Doubling down on Diablo

After all that, REEEEEEEEEpublican sperging feels quaint.

You can always leave if you don't like it, Bob. (Also, the life of C.S. Strowbridge gets even sadder.)

Feminist.

"I'M A REAL GUN EXPERT."

Stop getting sick every other week and then you'll make some progress.

 

[A Watchful Ghost]

Stop getting sick every other week and then you'll make some progress.

Why do I suspect this constant streak of getting sick is going to play a big role later on?

 

[MembersSchoolPizza]

"I'M A REAL GUN EXPERT."
View attachment 584179 View attachment 584180

God Bob is a fucking moron.

1) Luty's guns weren't "zip guns". That's not a catch-all term for every firearm produced outside of a major factory. Zip guns are when some jackass duct-tapes a pen tube to a staple gun, or some shit like that. It might work, once, but you don't wanna actually use it.

This is one of Luty's guns.

They may have looked a bit like 80s industrial art, but they were absolutely "real" guns.

2) There is no part of a (non-full-auto) gun you cannot legally self-produce. That's what scares the shit out of gungrabbers. The only legal restriction on guns you make yourself is you can't sell them or give them away - they have to remain yours.

3) You do not need a "machine shop". That's one of the things Luty set out to prove. You can make a gun with the contents of a modest garage work shop like millions of households in this country have, and a bit of time.

4) I know this isn't Bob making this point, but "Village of the Dan'd" is also a moron: Half of the guns made today are "plastic". Industrial polymer, really, but "plastic" all the same. The most popular pistols in the world right now, Glocks, are the poster child for "plastic guns". Even AR-15s are made of lots of polymer. There's only a couple parts that can't be made out of some sort of polymer... The barrel and firing chamber, springs, the firing pin. We make the slides out of metal mostly for weight to make the recoil more manageable, not for strength.

Gun grabbers wouldn't bother me so much if they weren't always so fucking ignorant.

 

[Mola Ram]

Gun grabbers wouldn't bother me so much if they weren't always so fucking ignorant.

I could tolerate Bob's ignorance if he didn't act like such a fucking knowitall.

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

I could tolerate Bob's ignorance if he didn't act like such a fucking knowitall.

to quote shakesphear, a wise man knows himself to be a fool and a fool believes himself to be wise. Quite true in bob's case

 

[RockVolnutt]

I could tolerate Bob's ignorance if he didn't act like such a fucking knowitall.

I've said it before but if he wants to fake being an expert on things, he need seriously cut back on fields he's claiming to be knowledgable in. There are no film critic, body builder, comic reader, astronaut, politician, bee keeper, champion boxer, skateboarding pro, fashion designer, marksman, brain surgeon, engineer, deep sea diver, sky diver, poet, pilot, race car drivers out there. Not that Bob has said all those, just a joke.

Like cut it down to like 4 or 5 topics and maybe it'd be believable compared to the man specialized in "everything".