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- Apr 14, 2018
What does that have to do with Bob "Kill the Obsolete Mayonnaise Ghouls Chipman" Chipman?
Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic
- Thread starter Enriku
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- Feb 28, 2018
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- Aug 13, 2016
Didn’t Infinity War earn more than black panther? Wouldn’t that make it more culturally significant and a better movie to nominate for best picture when it also was a better film than BP?
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2018
Too subtle.
Jack Burton is a blue collar jock, so he would be the bad guy in Bob's version. Lo Pan would either be an innocent LGBT POC or be backward America praising magic and superstition. Wang would be an overweight film geek who uses his knowledge of 80s and 90s pop culture and fighting games to his advantage. There'd be a ham fisted message about the superior future in there somewhere as well, so instead of "it's all in the reflexes" it would be "It's all thanks to automation and space travel!".
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2018
It's been a long time since I even thought about Mortal Kombat but if I remember the backstory wasn't Scorpion more of an anti-hero originally? He was a vengeful spirit or some shit wasn't he?
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- Jul 10, 2017
The only Fantasy Bob inserts immerses himself in his own narcissistic daydreams of the Mighty Bob. He wrote that book. It was very very bad. (I actually feel bad for the poor people who seek to order David Robinsons wonderful and informative Business book on the modern Lego corporation and how they barely avoided bankruptcy. Truly a worthwhile read for any MBA. But instead they mistakenly get Bob's book with the same title. If they read it they fall into deep despair, drop out of school and start selling their bodies at the truckstop on the interstate. Damn You Bob!)
Pokemonquistador
kiwifarms.net
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- May 9, 2017
We could have a fun game taking famous 80's era/popular cult movies and rewriting them as if they were one of Bob's screen treatments.
Let's see. Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Ferris and Cameron are reimagined as women on the lam from the law after they kill Cameron's abusive, redneck, blue collar father, steal his classic Mustang, and tool around Chicago, Thelma and Louise style. They're spotted and chased by their evil, homophobic school principal Ed Rooney, after the latter sees them dancing and kissing each other on TV in a Pussy Hat Rally held in downtown Chicago. The film ends with them tearfully driving the mustang off of the Sears Tower as the local authorities close in, Blues-Brothers-style.
Let's see. Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Ferris and Cameron are reimagined as women on the lam from the law after they kill Cameron's abusive, redneck, blue collar father, steal his classic Mustang, and tool around Chicago, Thelma and Louise style. They're spotted and chased by their evil, homophobic school principal Ed Rooney, after the latter sees them dancing and kissing each other on TV in a Pussy Hat Rally held in downtown Chicago. The film ends with them tearfully driving the mustang off of the Sears Tower as the local authorities close in, Blues-Brothers-style.
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2017
Did you just presume that they were White women?!?!
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2013
Long story short, he was killed by Sub-Zero and wanted revenge, then he was stuck as an obedient revenant for a time, but eventually found freedom and yeah, anti-hero for the most part. Finding out Sub-Zero 2 wasn't his killer helped some.
Brother Wind
kiwifarms.net
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- Aug 1, 2017
Ah, I always thought the Lin Kuei were more the anti Shao Khan people. So when he assassinated Sub Zero it fucked that up.
Someone should write a movie with Scorpion, but as Lucifer/fallen angel analog.
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2018
Imagine each of these suggestions are spread over dozens of Twitter posts.
The Super Mario Bros Movie: The plot follows the animated series Mario Super Show canon. Mario is a plumber from Brooklyn, Link makes an "excuuuuse me princess" cameo, Captain N is there, etc. The dude bros led by Master Chief, "Gears of War", "Call of Duty", and "Skyrim" (in quotes because Bob doesn't know the names of the characters and assumes they are named after their main characters) are invading the mushroom kingdom because "it's gay" and Mario has to round up various 80s and 90s game mascots to fight them.
The second act low point is when Mario sees Xbox Live and turns away, ashamed of what gaming has become. Mario throws away his hat because it's red with a M on it that could be mistaken for MAGA. But the 90s mascots re-imagine themselves as LGBT rights mascots complete with rainbow and pastel colour schemes and Mario is happy again. Link is revealed to be trans, and Samus turns traitor because she was secretly a FPS the whole time.
In the end, it's not brute force that wins the battle, but when the dude bros play Zelda Ocarina of Time and find it so moving that they cry and disappear in a poof of emotions. Except for Donald Trump who is revealed to have been Bowser in disguise (they both have orange hair).
HEAT: The Micheal Mann classic remade with a LGBT director and an all female cast. Instead of robbing a bank, they are robbing Trump Tower. The cop, played by Chris Evans, is a sexist brute is determined to stop the womens crime spree because he hates women (especially the token minority character) and because he wants to prove he's not obsolete as a new wave of robot police are being introduced. Bob would change the ending so they don't walk away. Completely missing both the point of the film and the irony of him killing his career over Gamergate.
James Bond: Starring Idris Elba, the new James Bond would be set in the 1960s and be a self aware "deconstruction/subversion" of James Bond cliches. So Bond would be gay, but instead of sleeping around he would be loyal to his 2 husbands. When Bond kills people there'd be a scene of him trying to come to terms with what he's done. Bond would also have a heavy handed message on gun control or abortion rights or some other American political topic (because Bob forgets/doesn't know/doesn't care that James Bond is British).
The game would not be a FPS this time (I'm guessing Bob's hatred of FPS means he's in the "Goldeneye ruined James Bond games forever!" camp) and would instead be an 8 bit platform game with ninjas where Bond has to collect fruit.
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2016
Why use 50 words when you can use 5,000?
Jesus Christ, Bob. That's a lotta verbiage dictating nothing.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2018
Bob is a fucking simpleton that thinks that because a character is popular, they are or should be the protagonist.
He probably has the ppinion that the Boba Fette movie was a good concept
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2018
Here's mine, though it's more from the 2000s era.
GLADIATOR: Maximus is reimagined as a LGBT Muslim man who is hand picked by Marcus Aurelius to be the new Roman Emperor, but his son Commodus, who would be reimagined as a Trump supporter, kills Marcus and takes over as the emperor. The Muslim man rises up against Commodus and his supporters, who would be akin to Trump supporters with MAGA hats, but with red robes with Latin markings saying "Make Rome Great Again".
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2018
Too much literary consistency and creativity to be credited to FilmBlob.
LaughingJoke
kiwifarms.net
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- Apr 21, 2018
I would love this because it sounds like something Bob would write and it would be hilarious when Bob's head explodes when he gets the studio note saying "We loved it but turns out there were no Muslims then so we replaced them with Christians".
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2018
I could imagine how Paramount (who owns the film because they bought DreamWorks from 2005-2008 and continue to own the pre-2011 live action DreamWorks library) and Universal would react to Bob’s writing.
elder god
kiwifarms.net
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- Oct 2, 2017
Black panther sperging
Yeah, making the dinosaur be even more retarded would have helped the movie, sure Bob.
Moar politisperging, and some defending m’lady kamala as well.
Yeah, making the dinosaur be even more retarded would have helped the movie, sure Bob.
Moar politisperging, and some defending m’lady kamala as well.
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2018
https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1089942154644987906
From the end of the video (I didn't listen to the rest because Bob is a bore)
"[something something diversity] I mean, since objective best movie is otherwise impossible to determine, what else do you get out this trophy for? The main cool historic thing is that this was nominated (...) But to the extent that I'll root for anything this year, I'll probably root for this one because I just don't know how you get to 'this can't possibly win best picture' and still say 'best picture really means anything anymore' or that it's at least fulfilling the purpose 'best picture' was ever meant to."
"[something something diversity] I mean, since objective best movie is otherwise impossible to determine, what else do you get out this trophy for? The main cool historic thing is that this was nominated (...) But to the extent that I'll root for anything this year, I'll probably root for this one because I just don't know how you get to 'this can't possibly win best picture' and still say 'best picture really means anything anymore' or that it's at least fulfilling the purpose 'best picture' was ever meant to."
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2018
Kamala Harris seems shady to me.
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