Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Oh Long Johnson]

In the superior future fungi are plants
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Hmm, oyster mushrooms eat with their dick while Movie Bob talks out his ass.

 

[Koby_Fish]

What is he talking about? Even if oyster mushrooms where plants they're still not carnivorous. They grow on and eat dead wood. I know because I grow the damn things. I cannot make heads or tails of this tweet.

According to Wikipedia, they can kill nematode worms (via the root-like mycelium) and feast off them.

 

[instythot]

What is he talking about? Even if oyster mushrooms where plants they're still not carnivorous. They grow on and eat dead wood. I know because I grow the damn things. I cannot make heads or tails of this tweet.


Well I learned something new today

More to the point than confusion over mushrooms, the really brain bending part of this is that Robert claimed to have had an IRL conversation with a friend

 

[Koby_Fish]

More to the point than confusion over mushrooms, the really brain bending part of this is that Robert claimed to have had an IRL conversation with a friend

In B4 this vegan friend is a hot(?) feminist chick that Bob's so far been unsuccessful at boning because he's so far in the friendzone he'll never get out.

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

More to the point than confusion over mushrooms, the really brain bending part of this is that Robert claimed to have had an IRL conversation with a friend

I was just assuming this "friend" was a hallucination brought on by bobs bad diet, lack of social interaction, diabetes, and the black mold growing in the basement he lives in.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

he's so far in the friendzone

He wouldn't be ellegible to be friendzoned. He would be one of those "shameful aquaintances" all of us once had.

 

[Red Hood]

He has described himself as a "lapsed Catholic" but it is likely he was brought up Catholic and became an atheist later in life.

That seems weird. Hasn't he claimed to have descendants on the Mayflower? They weren't Catholic. Chipman sounds like a WASPy Episcopalian or Congregationalist name.

Like Bob would appreciate the differences anyway.

 

[DK 699]

He has described himself as a "lapsed Catholic" but it is likely he was brought up Catholic and became an atheist later in life.

Yeah, I think that would make sense.

That seems weird. Hasn't he claimed to have descendants on the Mayflower? They weren't Catholic. Chipman sounds like a WASPy Episcopalian or Congregationalist name.

Like Bob would appreciate the differences anyway.

*ancestors on the Mayflower. I'm being a bit of cunt about this and I'm sorry about that, but the only way for him to have descendants that were on the Mayflower is if built a time machine and was able to convince some 16th century puritan to fuck him.

Anyway, (if this whole Mayflower thing was true) it's possible for his WASP ancestors to have interbreed with his Catholic ancestors (I think he said somewhere that his neighborhood had a lot of Irish and Italians in it, but I'm not going to draw any conclusions on this, because I'm not sure) and produce a child that was raised Catholic.

Also (out of curiosity and, because you appear to speak from a position of knowledge on the subject) what are the differences between those two sects you mentioned? All I could get from a quick google search was that the first one is linked to Anglicanism and the second one might be linked to the puritans.

 

[XtrmGamr719]

*ancestors on the Mayflower. I'm being a bit of cunt about this and I'm sorry about that, but the only way for him to have descendants that were on the Mayflower is if built a time machine and was able to convince some 16th century puritan to fuck him.

Anyway, (if this whole Mayflower thing was true) it's possible for his WASP ancestors to have interbreed with his Catholic ancestors (I think he said somewhere that his neighborhood had a lot of Irish and Italians in it, but I'm not going to draw any conclusions on this, because I'm not sure) and produce a child that was raised Catholic.

Also (out of curiosity and, because you appear to speak from a position of knowledge on the subject) what are the differences between those two sects you mentioned? All I could get from a quick google search was that the first one is linked to Anglicanism and the second one might be linked to the puritans.

Actually given how he looks, he'd probably pass off as a rich lord who does nothing but dine on the most exquisite dishes.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Yeah, I think that would make sense.

"Used to be catholic but became atheist" pretty much is included in what a "lapsed Catholic" can be, just sayin'.

BTW @tsundereaddict Episcopalians are an offshoot of the Anglicans (Church of England), but they're very, VERY liberal as Churches go and have been for quite a while.
Congregationalists are offshoots of the Calvinists (Reformed/Dutch Reformed Church, Baptists, ). Lots of Protestant Churches hold to Calvinist doctrine, including the Puritans. Congregationalism is sort of a "libertarian" kind of organization, not being held to a greater organization within or over the church (like say, a Synod) - each church gets to decide how it's run individually. They tend to be a bit more conservative than the Episcopalians.

 

[Flexo]

EVERYTHING I DONT LIKE IS NAZI

Every. Time.

 

[instythot]

Ahem.

The man who purchased this sportcoat at a no doubt inflated price, wore it to Easter dinner, allowed someone to take a picture of him wearing it, then uploaded those pictures to social media, is not capable of being embarrassed about anything whatsoever.

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Good lord. There is a serious contender to Sargon's previously comfortable reign as Worst Suit Champion

Also, I see a conspicuous lack of children at that easter egg hunt. Does his brother have to hold separate children's events just for Robert so he doesn't ruin the actual children's events?

 

[DK 699]

"Used to be catholic but became atheist" pretty much is included in what a "lapsed Catholic" can be, just sayin'.

BTW @tsundereaddict Episcopalians are an offshoot of the Anglicans (Church of England), but they're very, VERY liberal as Churches go and have been for quite a while.
Congregationalists are offshoots of the Calvinists (Reformed/Dutch Reformed Church, Baptists, ). Lots of Protestant Churches hold to Calvinist doctrine, including the Puritans. Congregationalism is sort of a "libertarian" kind of organization, not being held to a greater organization within or over the church (like say, a Synod) - each church gets to decide how it's run individually. They tend to be a bit more conservative than the Episcopalians.

I know that. I was just saying that I could see Bob being a lapsed Catholic. Thank you for the explanation of Episcopalians and Congregationalists.

 

[Red Hood]

*ancestors on the Mayflower. I'm being a bit of cunt about this and I'm sorry about that, but the only way for him to have descendants that were on the Mayflower is if built a time machine and was able to convince some 16th century puritan to fuck him.

Anyway, (if this whole Mayflower thing was true) it's possible for his WASP ancestors to have interbreed with his Catholic ancestors (I think he said somewhere that his neighborhood had a lot of Irish and Italians in it, but I'm not going to draw any conclusions on this, because I'm not sure) and produce a child that was raised Catholic.

Also (out of curiosity and, because you appear to speak from a position of knowledge on the subject) what are the differences between those two sects you mentioned? All I could get from a quick google search was that the first one is linked to Anglicanism and the second one might be linked to the puritans.

Fuck, you're right. I committed quite the boner there and got a good laugh out of it.

And I mean, the very concept of Bob having descendants...what was I thinking?

The only reason I mentioned those two sects was that at the time the Mayflower sailed, the dominant sect would have been Anglican (which in the US is Episcopalian nowadays) and those on the ship were mostly Puritan, which the congregationalist churches in some parts of Massachusetts would descend from. I'm basically oversimplifying hundreds of years of people changing churches etc.

I wouldn't be surprised if he claims to be a "lapsed Catholic" simply because Italians are majority Catholic and Mario is of Italian descent though. I doubt that's the case, but that would put his autism levels closer to CWC than ever before.

 

[BubbleButt]

The fact that 11 people thought this racist bullshit was good enough to publicly mark as "liked" sickens me.

 

[Positron]

What is he talking about? Even if oyster mushrooms were plants they're still not carnivorous. They grow on and eat dead wood. I know because I grow the damn things. I cannot make heads or tails of this tweet.

Fungi are not plants; indeed they are phylogenetically closer to animals than plants. I expect even the I Fucking Love Science crowd know this.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Fuck, you're right. I committed quite the boner there and got a good laugh out of it.

And I mean, the very concept of Bob having descendants...what was I thinking?

The only reason I mentioned those two sects was that at the time the Mayflower sailed, the dominant sect would have been Anglican (which in the US is Episcopalian nowadays) and those on the ship were mostly Puritan, which the congregationalist churches in some parts of Massachusetts would descend from. I'm basically oversimplifying hundreds of years of people changing churches etc.

I wouldn't be surprised if he claims to be a "lapsed Catholic" simply because Italians are majority Catholic and Mario is of Italian descent though. I doubt that's the case, but that would put his autism levels closer to CWC than ever before.

Not to powerlevel, but it's entirely possible that only one side of Bob's family is English and the other comes from Eastern Europe/ France, etc. My grandfather was a Protestant, but he converted to Catholicism because his wife (whose family was from Luxembourg/Germany,) wanted him to, and back about 100 years ago, Catholics were pretty hardcore about the whole "not marrying outside the church" thing. It wasn't uncommon for people to convert to Catholicism or agree to have their kids raised Catholic in order to marry a Catholic.

Edit: Powerlevel #2: I supposedly had relatives on the Mayflower, although there's a lot of confusion to this because some Victorian historian did some shoddy research and might have linked my Grandfather's family tree to an ancestor who only shared our name, not our origin. That's the problem with boasting about what your ancestors were and did. Thanks to the fact that records back then were spotty, and that several generations of people might have shared the same name (leaving confusion as to what generation of the family a certain ancestor belonged to,) it's really difficult for most people to trace their ancestry past a couple of hundred years. It's REALLY hard to trace one's family all the way to the 16th Century, and, unless you're a member of a royal family (or a really famous family line who were especially good at keeping records), it's almost impossible to reliably trace your family back to the year 1000. You'll get plenty of educated guesses and stories which may or may not be fictional, but you'll never be able to know for sure who your distant ancestors were (and that's not taking into account the fact that some of your female ancestors might have cheated on their spouses and borne them bastards.) It was not uncommon for people (especially royal people) to make up their own origin stories and link themselves to famous -and possibly fictional- ancestors.

So when Bob brags about an alcoholic ancestor of his stumbling off of the world's most famous Explorer-Boat (next to the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa-Maria,) you should probably take it with a grain of salt.

 

[instythot]

I drift in and out of Bob content, but for some reason paid a decent amount of attention today. Just reading the fury in his twitter is exhausting. How does Bob possibly keep up the energy to actually be that angry all the time?

 

[Rei is shit]

YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF ME FOR LOTS OF REASONS BUT NOT POP CULTURE REFERENCES REEEE


Read this if you want to lose braincells

I drift in and out of Bob content, but for some reason paid a decent amount of attention today. Just reading the fury in his twitter is exhausting. How does Bob possibly keep up the energy to actually be that angry all the time?

Blood sugar spikes

 

[Kulee Baba]

YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF ME FOR LOTS OF REASONS BUT NOT POP CULTURE REFERENCES REEEE
View attachment 861187

Read this if you want to lose braincells
View attachment 861188



Blood sugar spikes

Does Bob smoke pot? Because this kind of nonsensical ramblings would be forgivable if he were just really high.