Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[XtrmGamr719]

Bob was part of an All Stars cursed thread of nerds seething at Scorsese and venting their spleens on him and his oeuvre. Arthur Chu! Noah Berlatsky! "Eleanor", who wrote a mock-worthy Medium piece on how the indie game "A Night In The Woods" was actually retrograde Trumpian apologia and propaganda because it depicted gay people as being able to be happy living in a small town, or some nonsense like that. The thread goes on and on like this.

Off-topic a bit, but that is literally the dumbest thing I ever heard. As someone who actually knows about NITW, the LGBT people in the game actually want to leave the town because it was both a) stuck in time and b) literally and slowly dying. Hell no one seems to be happy living there, but they just bare it because what you gonna do? Not to mention that it has eye-rolling references to modern politics tied into sacrificing the unwanted to an eldritch being.

 

[instythot]

Bob was part of an All Stars cursed thread of nerds seething at Scorsese and venting their spleens on him and his oeuvre. Arthur Chu! Noah Berlatsky! "Eleanor", who wrote a mock-worthy Medium piece on how the indie game "A Night In The Woods" was actually retrograde Trumpian apologia and propaganda because it depicted gay people as being able to be happy living in a small town, or some nonsense like that. The thread goes on and on like this.

This just reinforces my belief that reviews of anything that go beyond "functions as expected or not" are incredibly gay, and those who write them doubly so

 

[Commander X]

Berlatsky also wrote a piece where he excoriated the so-called "dirtbag left" and called peasants who hated Marie Antoinette "misogynist"

When revolutionary virtue is seen as male, the revolution is inevitably going to be sexist. Sure enough, the sexist attacks on Marie Antoinette were followed after the revolution by sexist attacks on revolutionaries like Madame Roland and Olympe de Gouges. Those women, like the Queen, were executed. Vulgar sexism may have targeted Marie Antoinette first, but it was eventually used against revolutionary women as well.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

My first thoughts were Heaven's Gate and the OG Indiana Jones as a contrast. Raiders of the Lost Ark had a budget that was considered too small for what it set out to do, but either Lucas or Spielberg, I forget which, said they'd make it work by using lots of cheap n' dirty old school film making tricks. The results speak for themselves.

Some artists work better when they have to improvise around limitations.

Citizen Kane - largely regarded as the best film EVAR, is memorable because of its shadowy cinematography, which came about because the filmmakers didn't want the audience to see how cheap some of the sets were.

A lot of modern day fight scenes (especially those involving lots of CG and acrobatics,) are dazzling to look at, but thematically empty. They look more like video game cutscenes or dance routines. The true measure of a fight scene is how well it serves to tell a story - the feeling it engenders in the audience. For instance, here's a fight scene from The Phantom Menace involving Liam Neeson and Ray Park:

The fight between the main Jedi and Darth Maul is a spectacle to be sure, and it has drama in the Death of Qui-Gon, but the bad guy has no real connection to the good guys, other than to serve as an obstacle the heroes must overcome. You could put any "evil" character into the scene and it would play out the same, because we know fuckall about Darth Bad Guy. Now compare this scene to another fight scene involving Ray Park (who stands in for the villain character's long distance fight scenes,) and Liam Neeson (who plays the heroic Rob Roy):

This scene has weight because, by this point in the story, we know who the characters are - the bad guy has been destroying lives and acting like a smug asshole the entire movie, and to top off his evil career, he raped the protagonist's wife. The hero just wants to get back at this guy, but finds himself outclassed, until the very end when he realizes that orthodox tactics won't work, and he'll need to do something drastic. The fight is brutal and, although artful at times, every move made by the characters has weight and possible consequences. The Phantom Menace fight scene has a near unlimited budget, and it's sure to keep the kiddies watching it happy, but it's ultimately an empty popcorn battle. The only person in it that I really cared about was Obi-Wan, and only because he had something of a mini-arc during the battle. Darth Maul remains today, one of the most wasted characters in movie history (if you ignore everything he's in outside of this movie.)

The Rob Roy fight had no special effects and took place in a dingy dungeon, but I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Having an unlimited budget wouldn't have made this scene any better. Having a LIMITED budget might have made Luca's Prequel Trilogy a lot better, as he would have had to rely on character interactions and story to carry the movie, instead of endless, flashy CG spectacles. CinemaRobert can't fathom this because he thinks more effects = better movie.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Note: Florida and Texas have a larger population than New Yawk
View attachment 1030565

Local consoomer Robert Chipman doesn't know how the electoral college works. News at eleven.

 

[BR55]

On his own categorization of Thinkers vs. Believers, Bob doesn't even rise to the level of a Believer let alone a Thinker. Believers have a set of inflexible fundamental positions set at their conversion, and then another set of more contingent beliefs about how to reach the fundamental positions that were originated by some sort of ideologue and disseminated to the congregation at large. In other words, somebody was thinking about how things are supposed to happen, even if not very well, but Bob isn't capable of doing that or even consistently following someone who can. He's more of a Ranter, who just has a set of things he wants and a set of things that he hates and there's no logical connection between any of them; everything comes down to his feelings and nothing else. Bob doesn't vote straight-D because he thinks it will give him what he wants, he votes straight-D because voting straight-D is an axiomatic and unquestionable Good, and any other vote (or failure to vote) is an unquestionable Evil. Moon Wheat = Good, Kansas Wheat = Bad. And so on. To borrow what Null said about porncow Eddie whathisname, "He's just a complete blathering dipshit." It really says something about Bob or the US educational system or both that this completely mindless individual was somehow able to allegedly graduate from a university some years ago but is incapable of elementary reasoning now.

The great irony of "Thinkers vs. Believers" is that Bob is a dyed in the wool "Believer".
Take his love of "science" for example.
Bob is the kind of person who would follow a "I fucking love science" account on twitter or facebook.
He'll ballyhoo about how awesome it is but doesn't even begin to understand it.
Science might as well be magic and scientists might as well be fucking wizards for all Bob can comprehend.
Remember how he claimed that science "changes" natural laws and physics instead of merely channeling and manipulating them?
That's the equivalent of thinking that a plane flies because it warps reality to attain flight instead of using velocity and aerodynamics.
It's the reason he thinks Star Trek is a 100% accurate window into humanity's future if only Cletus and Hershel could be sent to the gas chamber.
Bob is one step removed from demanding a sacrifice to the volcano gods.
He merely worships consumeristic lifestyle brands like Marvel and his childish notion of "science" instead of the great ancestors or what have you.
It's what makes him so enraging.
He's one of the biggest idiots on the planet and yet he won't shut up about how brilliant he is.

 

[Adamska]

The great irony of "Thinkers vs. Believers" is that Bob is a dyed in the wool "Believer".
Take his love of "science" for example.
Bob is the kind of person who would follow a "I fucking love science" account on twitter or facebook.
He'll ballyhoo about how awesome it is but doesn't even begin to understand it.
Science might as well be magic and scientists might as well be fucking wizards for all Bob can comprehend.
Remember how he claimed that science "changes" natural laws and physics instead of merely channeling and manipulating them?
That's the equivalent of thinking that a plane flies because it warps reality to attain flight instead of using velocity and aerodynamics.
It's the reason he thinks Star Trek is a 100% accurate window into humanity's future if only Cletus and Hershel could be sent to the gas chamber.
Bob is one step removed from demanding a sacrifice to the volcano gods.
He merely worships consumeristic lifestyle brands like Marvel and his childish notion of "science" instead of the great ancestors or what have you.
It's what makes him so enraging.
He's one of the biggest idiots on the planet and yet he won't shut up about how brilliant he is.

He's not even that, since just try to ask him about all the molester-weirdoes he hung out in the past. He also can't commit to just wanting the menials he despises dead.

Blobby is a weak and angry smoothbrain trying to play chess with a square peg and round hole.

 

[XtrmGamr719]

Blobby is a weak and angry smoothbrain trying to play chess with a square peg and round hole.

And he's losing.

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

Robert always does this shit. He advocates for jobs to be sent overseas and doesn't say a word about where the jobs are actually going or what working conditions are like there, then when someone points out how bad things are for grunt workers in China and other places he wants them sent to, he'll suddenly say that OBVIOUSLY he wants those workers to be better paid n'shit (notice he says nothing about how he intends to accomplish this in a globalized economy without any of the embargoes or protectionism he hates). Then he goes right back to completely ignoring the issue until the next time he gets called out on it.

Just like how he ignores the effects the stuff he advocates doing to the mayonnaise ghouls would effect blue voters and non-white people in those states until someone calls him out on it, then he acts like he cares for a couple of tweets before going right back to ignoring them. Is Bob the fakest leftist? I dunno, it's a field with a lot of competition.

That quote about how the most important thing for friends to share is enemies is so revealing about what a nasty little prick he is. It's also edgy teenager cringe along the lines of "Nothing personnel kid" that any sane and halfway intelligent middle aged man would be embarrassed of, not bragging about. Nice of him to give us another Hall of Famer along with "Nazis ruined eugenics", "No bad tactics, only bad targets", and "The future I EARNED."

Nice Thanksgiving Robert! Spending yours arguing with and whining at everyone on Twitter couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. Hope everyone else on the thread is having a better one than him. I know I am.

Well, lucky for everyone else nothing he says really makes any tangible difference anyway.

 

[Neko GF]

FilmRobert addresses and DISMANTLES the idea that he is a bitter person:

Spoiler: Bob is a happy person

I have no idea why anyone would ever think that CinemaRobert is a bitter person! He spreads so much love and positive vibes on a daily basis! Especially to conservatives and working class Americans.

 

[instythot]

Morbid(ly obese) curiosity time. Has anyone observed Bob being right about something? My experience has been pretty reliable that you can just take the exact opposite of whatever he says as correct

 

[Jack Awful]

Bob was part of an All Stars cursed thread of nerds seething at Scorsese and venting their spleens on him and his oeuvre. Arthur Chu! Noah Berlatsky! "Eleanor", who wrote a mock-worthy Medium piece on how the indie game "A Night In The Woods" was actually retrograde Trumpian apologia and propaganda because it depicted gay people as being able to be happy living in a small town, or some nonsense like that. The thread goes on and on like this.

I love how the socialists are willing to throw away all their principles and suck mega corporation cock as soon as the massive monopoly's CEO says gays are good, even though there are no openly gay characters in any of their movies and it's all an obvious marketing ploy.

 

[Marissa Moira]

And the thing is modern marketing even sucks compared to back in the day.

Ecto Cooler is still a fucking legendary drink tie-in that has yet to be matched. The entire MCU never had a branded thing tied to it that people will ever be nostalgic for. The OG TMNT even had better shit like green slime filled pastries. All the MCU branded shit are the same images slapped over a different box, nothing is special about the contents inside.

 

[Flexo]

And the thing is modern marketing even sucks compared to back in the day.

Ecto Cooler is still a fucking legendary drink tie-in that has yet to be matched. The entire MCU never had a branded thing tied to it that people will ever be nostalgic for. The OG TMNT even had better shit like green slime filled pastries. All the MCU branded shit are the same images slapped over a different box, nothing is special about the contents inside.

You might be onto something...

Krispy creme tried something with those power ranger pastries.

Of course parents today are so paranoid I don't blame the companies. You know Disney is terrified they would make an avengers food item that some kids would be allergic too and then the brand would be hosed.

Best to stick to plastic captain America shields and foam Thor hammers.

 

[Neko GF]

Morbid(ly obese) curiosity time. Has anyone observed Bob being right about something? My experience has been pretty reliable that you can just take the exact opposite of whatever he says as correct

Not sure if this counts, but Robert is to an extent right about people who try to have a serious debate with him. While the points they make aren't inherently bad or dumb and are often right, they are dumb to even try to actually debate Robert. It should be obvious to any onlooker that Robert has a complete intolerance to opposing opinions and has no desire/interest to listen or understand his opposition on pretty much any topic.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

FilmRobert addresses and DISMANTLES the idea that he is a bitter person:

Spoiler: Bob is a happy person

View attachment 1030892
View attachment 1030897
View attachment 1030902

I have no idea why anyone would ever think that CinemaRobert is a bitter person! He spreads so much love and positive vibes on a daily basis! Especially to conservatives and working class Americans.

Robert, I'm not even trying to insult you when I say this. But how do you honestly look at your life and say that you're a happy human being? Ignoring the fact that you live such an unappealing life, a happy human being would not act the way you do.

A happy person doesn't sperg out non-stop over such petty and meaningless things the way that you do. A happy person wouldn't rant on a daily basis about how everyone else, from your childhood classmates to random people on the internet to people you don't even know, has ruined their life the way that you do. A happy person doesn't wish for harm to befall others the way that you do.

Hell, you've admitted to being a miserable human being before. Such as when Russ Pitts got shitcanned for daring to disagree with Zoe Quinn. Or when Stan Lee died, in which your entire reaction was talking about how if Stan Lee found success later in the life that means there is still hope for you to find success as well.

Maybe you could point to things like your family, but I don't think you would be behaving the way you do if you were genuinely happy with them or your life. I imagine if I talked to a younger version of Robert he would tell me how he expects to be a respected movie director or writer. Not sitting in a family members basement ranting online about how everyone sucks and your ideas are clearly the superior ones. I highly doubt that you've pictured your life turning out the way it has, or are ultimately satisfied with it.

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

And the thing is modern marketing even sucks compared to back in the day.

Ecto Cooler is still a fucking legendary drink tie-in that has yet to be matched. The entire MCU never had a branded thing tied to it that people will ever be nostalgic for. The OG TMNT even had better shit like green slime filled pastries. All the MCU branded shit are the same images slapped over a different box, nothing is special about the contents inside.

Not to go off topic too much, but does anyone else remember when Cow and Chicken had the special scratch 'n sniff episodes in spring 1999? Cartoon Network advertised it for weeks, encouraging kids to send in for a scratch and sniff card. I was 7 years old and I participated, and I remember it to this day. Does anyone even do things like that anymore?

 

[TerribleIdeas™]

Note: Florida and Texas have a larger population than New Yawk
View attachment 1030565

Slightly off-topic, but indicative of Bob's delusions - if the Electoral College were abolished, the 10 most populous states would elect the PotUS, and those states do include liberal (and literal shithole California, as well as Florida, Texas, and a bunch of the Northeast. I actually can't remember all 10 of them, but I'm certain that places like Illinois, NY, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts are among them, and they'd be able to ignore the will of a hair under 50% of the electorate, in 40 states, because of assholes like Bob, and his ilk.

If I had to guess, I'd assume that Bob is happy that Texas is verging on purple, and the old fucks in Florida continue to die off, which might lead to it going purple, because he doesn't understand that an eternal reign by the likes of HRC, Fauxcahontas, Kamala, Bernie, etc., will damn the US to a faster slide into economic irrelevant, and destroying every hope he has of ever reaching the stars, assuming anyone wanted to use the fuel required to have him as payload, instead of using it to shoot his fat ass into the sun.

 

[Flexo]

Slightly off-topic, but indicative of Bob's delusions - if the Electoral College were abolished, the 10 most populous states would elect the PotUS, and those states do include liberal (and literal shithole California, as well as Florida, Texas, and a bunch of the Northeast. I actually can't remember all 10 of them, but I'm certain that places like Illinois, NY, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts are among them, and they'd be able to ignore the will of a hair under 50% of the electorate, in 40 states, because of assholes like Bob, and his ilk.

2020 Presidential Election Interactive Map

Create your own forecast for the 2020 presidential election

www.270towin.com

CA- 55
TX - 38
NY, FL - 29
IL, PA - 20

Some have proposed the idea for electors to be divided up by districts, which would make it more representative. So why don't Bobby & co go for that?

Oh wait... then CA's 55 electors might go to a few more republicans...

 

[Jack Awful]

Slightly off-topic, but indicative of Bob's delusions - if the Electoral College were abolished, the 10 most populous states would elect the PotUS, and those states do include liberal (and literal shithole California, as well as Florida, Texas, and a bunch of the Northeast. I actually can't remember all 10 of them, but I'm certain that places like Illinois, NY, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts are among them, and they'd be able to ignore the will of a hair under 50% of the electorate, in 40 states, because of assholes like Bob, and his ilk.

If I had to guess, I'd assume that Bob is happy that Texas is verging on purple, and the old fucks in Florida continue to die off, which might lead to it going purple, because he doesn't understand that an eternal reign by the likes of HRC, Fauxcahontas, Kamala, Bernie, etc., will damn the US to a faster slide into economic irrelevant, and destroying every hope he has of ever reaching the stars, assuming anyone wanted to use the fuel required to have him as payload, instead of using it to shoot his fat ass into the sun.

Hasn't Bob repeatedly stated that democracy a mistake because racist, fascist, bigoted, objectively inferior Republicans can vote?