Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?

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Doctor Placebo said:
"Some of you guys are alright. Don't come to Twitter tomorrow."
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^Need a glol react button for this one. Bob’s got his trench coat (ignore the fact that it’s too small to button up) and he’s not afraid to use it!!!!!!!!!11

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Krokodil Overdose said:
Bobbo may be on to something here, if only by accident; the parochialism of the self-styled "coastal elites" has been a thing for quite a long time, as evidenced by the classic "View from 9th Avenue" New Yorker cover.

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And that's not even getting into the hoary one-liners about WaPo sending foreign correspondents to cover events in Missouri. Imagining that they know everything there is to know about places they've never been just because they're such galaxy brain nibbas is a common trait of fart-huffers. You see this a lot in euphorics especially, imagining that their asses have watched so much Rick and Morty that they can re-create every human institution throughout history, better, just from first principles.



Objection, your honor! Assuming facts not in evidence.

To a large degree, I imagine Bob is so deeply frustrated at his lack of sex life because he "knows" he can and should be doing better than desultory jerking off to She-Ra pron on DeviantArt. The fact that he's not getting any of the ass that he's "earned" is one of the reasons he's such a over-pressurized bile spigot: he realizes that he's failing at humaning, but can't figure out why. The fact that literally everything about him is repulsive has probably never crossed his mind.
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I think that hits the nail on the head; it’s not that he’s never traveled, it’s that he has no desire to. He’s convinced there’s nothing to see there, that he already knows everything there is to know about the vast green wastes outside of Bahstin. Bob could literally drive to Maine and find one of those quiet fishing cabins that are all over the place there but he’s not interested. All the travel he needs is going from one east coast urban city to another east coast urban city where there happens to be a convention that week. He’s absolutely sure he knows what a tree looks like, but he couldn’t tell an oak from an elm.
 
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Cosmug said:
I think that hits the nail on the head; it’s not that he’s never traveled, it’s that he has no desire to. He’s convinced there’s nothing to see there, that he already knows everything there is to know about the vast green wastes outside of Bahstin. Bob could literally drive to Maine and find one of those quiet fishing cabins that are all over the place there but he’s not interested. All the travel he needs is going from one east coast urban city to another east coast urban city where there happens to be a convention that week. He’s absolutely sure he knows what a tree looks like, but he couldn’t tell an oak from an elm.
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The traveling I’ve only seen Bob do is down to Mexico for his sister’s wedding. Yet again, he was hunched over on his phone tard raging against republicans.
 
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Sexy Senior Citizen said:
That second tweet there makes me think he's not thinking about the Great Console Wars, but that he's considering buying it. Maybe for his niece.
Which would be a surprisingly wholesome thing for him to do.
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Well unless otherwise, Bob certainly loves his niece, and I don't mean it to be creepy but he is always happier whenever he talks about her.
 
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XtrmGamr719 said:
Well unless otherwise, Bob certainly loves his niece, and I don't mean it to be creepy but he is always happier whenever he talks about her.
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Kids have a calming effect on a lot of people. Unlike adults, they pose no threat. Bob doesn’t have to feel like a giant loser around his niece; there’s no competition there. Kids’ affection is pure and has a healing effect on people who don’t feel like the world is a safe place. Bob would be happier and mentally healthier if he spent less time online and more time with his niece.
 
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Mr Snek said:
Aw, I was really hoping that Bob would take the opportunity to let his inner racist out. Start talking about how he always knew that some blacks were just as worthless as the mayo ghouls or something.
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Biden did it for him instead. This just shows the Democrats will hate blacks if they don’t vote for their shitty candidates.

And it’s very amusing that the guy who said it was the Vice President for Obama.
 
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Mr Snek said:
Aw, I was really hoping that Bob would take the opportunity to let his inner racist out. Start talking about how he always knew that some blacks were just as worthless as the mayo ghouls or something.
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My god, I see people of all races call black people "coons," "race traitors," and "Uncle Toms" when they're Republican/conservative/NOT LIBERAL, I wanna see what Bob can think of to insult them.
 
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XtrmGamr719 said:
My god, I see people of all races call black people "coons," "race traitors," and "Uncle Toms" when they're Republican/conservative/NOT LIBERAL, I wanna see what Bob can think of to insult them.
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I'd bet real money that references to Samuel L. Jackson's character in Django Unchained will abound.
 
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As much as I love to cringe at whatever Bob has to say about politics, I’d be happy if he never again addressed race or “women’s issues.” If he knew what’s good for him, he’d steer well clear of those topics. But he doesn’t, so I expect the howlers will never cease flowing. But if he’s not careful, he’ll tweet himself right out of the Escapist again.
 
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John Andrews Stan said:
As much as I love to cringe at whatever Bob has to say about politics, I’d be happy if he never again addressed race or “women’s issues.” If he knew what’s good for him, he’d steer well clear of those topics. But he doesn’t, so I expect the howlers will never cease flowing. But if he’s not careful, he’ll tweet himself right out of the Escapist again.
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Frankly, The Escapist showed such dreadful judgment in rehiring him that I fully expect them to go out of business before he's fired again, barring some dumbass tweet that's too easy to misread (or read correctly!) as racist or creepily sexual. (So, not entirely out of the realm of possibility by any means.)
 
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John Andrews Stan said:
As much as I love to cringe at whatever Bob has to say about politics, I’d be happy if he never again addressed race or “women’s issues.” If he knew what’s good for him, he’d steer well clear of those topics. But he doesn’t, so I expect the howlers will never cease flowing. But if he’s not careful, he’ll tweet himself right out of the Escapist again.
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But how else will he get attention and possible asspats from the cool kids if he doesn't reveal how he wants to kill the normals and increasingly looks like he might actually try and do so given he's giving me spree killer vibes now.
 
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