Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Bolo]

The biggest achievement of Obama bar none was to prevent Hillary Rodham from becoming president. If Bobby begrudges Trump for having canceled his jet pack and Moon wheat, he should be equally angry with Obama.

Consoom:
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Let's skip ahead a bit:
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Now you know where your Patreon money has gone to.

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Mulan review. 8 minutes:

Yet he claims he like his movies toxic and masculine:
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The screen he describes is literally in Mulan. And Bobby is predictably seething because people laugh at it!
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So the idiot likes Mulan because now it is a Wuxia wire-fu movie?

I'm not one to lament on the lost soul of the original animated movie, I never cared much for Mulan, and even if I did, one can always ignore a shitty remake.

But the whole "heh, you didn't get the Mulan remake because you haven't watched the Hong Kong action flicks like me, Movie Robert, cosmopolitan worldly movie reviewer "

And to that I say, go fuck yourself Robert. Those wire-fu, Shaw Bros wuxia movies fucking sucked. Who gives a fuck about highly choreographed martial arts ballet if we don't give a single ounce of a shit for the characters performing the said ballet.

At one point said ballet was a novelty act, during the times of the Hidden Dragon and the Flying daggers, and there is a good reason on why Chinese/ Hong Kong movies are not as well received by foreigner audiences like the south korean ones, because they are shit.

Especially these Wuxia movies, with no sense of pacing and knowing only two speeds, exposition drivel and overlong and high self-indulgent action. Feast for the eyes that grows old once you realize there is no charisma to it. The only one who could pull it off was Jackie Chan, and more so because of his own charisma.

So stuff it, Robert, you and your "I'm a simple man, I like cool fights" when you give people shit for having simple tastes but different from yours.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Shouldn't have watching more Wuxia movies have made you see the flaws in the New Mulan, rather than enjoy it more?

From what I understand China hates this new movie.

I would put ten bucks on Bob lying about how many foreign movies he has watched any day of the week.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

If Cinema Robert had watched any Chinese action films he’d have noticed how poorly botched Mulan is. It’s laughably bad, quite literally. I can only assume critics are refusing to acknowledge that because they’re scared Disney will cut them off from future reviews.
In general Chinese films aren’t very good but Mulan is a particularly lifeless example. And it’s not even Chinese, it’s all done by Americans.

 

[Bolo]

Shouldn't have watching more Wuxia movies have made you see the flaws in the New Mulan, rather than enjoy it more?

From what I understand China hates this new movie.

I would put ten bucks on Bob lying about how many foreign movies he has watched any day of the week.

Chinese audiences are as fickle as they get and they don't respond all that well to obvious and blatant pandering and if it something from their own culture done by foreigners, they just don't go watch it, they despise it.

Of course it isn't a rule, the Kung Fu Panda flicks are well received there for example, but as the usual, the chinese audiences mainly likes 2 things:

-Their own movies with their own pop-stars.

-Big dumb CGI fests, like Transformers and Venon.

Aside from that, everything else is either received with a ok box officie or mostly ignored.

And Disney with Mulan is trying to do just the first one, big movie with Chinese stars... but the chinese see it same as they see Born american asians, and that they are fake and a reason for mockery.

And right now, there is a feeling of superiority with Chinese audiences thinking that they are the belle of the ball that gleefully spurns any suitors for her own amusement.

The hollywood pandering to China is a reason for mockery in Chinese social media, making fun of the dumb americans that wanna please them so hard by inserting asian characters or removing anything that might offend them, seeing them as bootlickers and spieneless brown nosers.

And they are not wrong. When the pandering is so transparent to the point of ass kissing, no one is gonna like it, because even if it is your ass being kissed, you can still smell the butt when open they their mouth.

Yeah, it's "consoom" drivel, but a little self respect goes a long way to win audiences

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

and another for good measure

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

If you somehow could get all the GG figures in front of the camera, I don't know how much value you'd get out of it since many of them would lie. Iirc Jim was pro-GG right up until the moment that he tried to use them as his personal army. When they told him to fuck off he threw a tantrum and claimed he was playing both sides. The guy who ran Kotaku In Action had a similar change of heart.

Even if you somehow could get a documentary made, who would show it? Mainstream media isn't going to allow anything that paints them in a bad light. Netflix and other streaming services could be an option, but unlikely due to how much they banked on woke.

The actual story of GG isn't that interesting. An affair between a journalist and an attention seeker, an attempt to cover it up leading to game journo corruption being exposed, and finally an e-mail campaign that caused them to bleed money. In contrast, the drama surrounding it like people standing by SarahNyberg or Moviebob sperging so hard he lost his job are far more interesting.

That's what I'm saying, mang. No sane person cares about any of that shit. But if you take a grip of lunatics that do and record the autism, you might be able to edit out a really funny result. Kind of like they did with Arthur Chu - following him around, letting him talk, then coming to the conclusion they were filming a tragicomedy.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Someone is crazy enough to think that a biopic of an annoying, autistic Swedish puppet is going to sell. I'm as confused as Bobby:
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Bob's lust for autistic lolis has been noted with dismay.

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I don't know what does Khaled mean by "scale"; perhaps he means these are fringe ideas that have no sympathizers beyond the nutty fringe. But Bobby doesn't care; he only cares for his dreams of revenge, necks crushed between AOC's cleavage.

Bob is endorsing abolishing the family here. Good idea! We should start with Bob's own family. Take Bob's adorable little autistic niece away from her moron white-trash parents and creepy Greta-lusting uncle Bob and have her raised by autism specialists. For the SUPERIOR FUTURE!

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No fucking idea with this one.

Whenever Bob asks, "Why don't people like me?", someone should shove a printout of posts like this at him. This sort of snotty condescension alienates even some people who agree with him politically.

He sympathizes with Syndrome in The Incredibles, while Tomorrowland depends on a rainbow of benevolent technological overtroons to work.
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Sounds like projection to me. The political philosophy he describes is basically his own.

... and then he was tasked with defending his precious Disney:
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Five-word summary of Bobby's rant: Boomers had taste; millennials don't.

Again, more pointless, petty Bob rudeness at the end. Anyone reading this not already familiar with Bob is going to think "What a jerk".

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

Bob's lust for autistic lolis has been noted with dismay.

this is one thing he has in common with Lucas "Telomere King" Werner (as well as being a fat bastard)

 

[Godzilla@1989]

A shitty looking Mulan live action film where it’s only available on Disney+ for $30 since theaters are barely opening because of a pandemic? Yeah I’ll pass.

 

[Red Hood]

The biggest achievement of Obama bar none was to prevent Hillary Rodham from becoming president. If Bobby begrudges Trump for having canceled his jet pack and Moon wheat, he should be equally angry with Obama.

Consoom:
View attachment 1575862

Let's skip ahead a bit:
View attachment 1575864
Now you know where your Patreon money has gone to.

+ + + +
Mulan review. 8 minutes:

Yet he claims he like his movies toxic and masculine:
View attachment 1575892

The screen he describes is literally in Mulan. And Bobby is predictably seething because people laugh at it!
View attachment 1575940

Someone is crazy enough to think that a biopic of an annoying, autistic Swedish puppet is going to sell. I'm as confused as Bobby:
View attachment 1575872
View attachment 1575911

View attachment 1575880
I don't know what does Khaled mean by "scale"; perhaps he means these are fringe ideas that have no sympathizers beyond the nutty fringe. But Bobby doesn't care; he only cares for his dreams of revenge, necks crushed between AOC's cleavage.

Bobby yearns for Superior Future because he is tired of having to deal with "tools"
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He doesn't need to deal with "tools" once he is dead.

We cannot let cops unionize, because it will stop Superior Future from materializing:
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Dumb blue checkmarks circle-jerking:
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No fucking idea with this one.

+ + + +
Bobby talks about a TV show. No idea:
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He sympathizes with Syndrome in The Incredibles, while Tomorrowland depends on a rainbow of benevolent technological overtroons to work.
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Having emptied out his seminal vesicles didn't make Bobby feel better one bit. Here he is picking up a petty fight with rando:
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"Before I block you, please do something with your life."
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Christopher Nolan is too high-brow for Bob:
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Bobby thinks people not into mindless consoomerism as "boring" and stuck-up...
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... and then he was tasked with defending his precious Disney:
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Five-word summary of Bobby's rant: Boomers had taste; millennials don't.

Random-asshat humor:
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Now he is shilling Nick Parrott without a pretext:
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I'm sure he has a full suite of marine survivalist skills.

Houseboats, aka winnebagos that float.

 

[TopTierHealer]

I was trying to find some video archives from Bob's 2009 Escapist content, especially one related to the D&D cartoon. In that one he freely admits that he wanted to be a nerd but he was atrocious with math. I can't seem to find it in his re-uploaded video collection.

His review MO seems to be to wait for a day for the mainstream publications to give the thumbs up or thumbs down and then give his own take:

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/bob-chipman/movies?page=1

You can see how his oppinion matches with those of the critics 90 out of 100 times so that he can prove what a good little boy he is. Notable exceptions: Joker, Godzilla KOM, etc.

But more than his content, I have trouble understanding the train of thought of the people who consider him a good or insightful writer. The first thing you're taught when learing to write at a college level is being economical with your language. Only lawyers need to be deliberately obfuscating (to the general population).

We all know the state of higher learning nowadays but even if you presented Bob's twitter rants to a 101 creative writing class you would still get an F.

There are people out there who considers his style of writing to be worthy of emulating.

The only way to really point out how bad MovieBob's writing is to compare it good reviewer. The only one that comes to mind right now is Mike Kermode so I'd appreciate any other input.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHeQeHstrsc

 

[Strange Wilderness]

Mulan review. 8 minutes:

Yet he claims he like his movies toxic and masculine:
View attachment 1575892

The screen he describes is literally in Mulan. And Bobby is predictably seething because people laugh at it!
View attachment 1575940

Theres nothing wrong with liking dumb action films and being a fan of genres light on story but heavy on stunts, if you like cheesy action films more power to you. Just don't go around praising the film as the greatest thing ever and not expecting people to laugh at it. Most importantly don't act like a smug asshole. Don't imply just because someone doesn't like your silly over the top action film that they are stuffy and too full of themselves, some people want more out a film than mindless over the top impossible action scenes. A good story or interesting characters for one. Bob just can't help but be a giant dick whenever he interacts with anyone he disagrees with.

Christopher Nolan is too high-brow for Bob:
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Bobby thinks people not into mindless consoomerism as "boring" and stuck-up...
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... and then he was tasked with defending his precious Disney:
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For his claims of being an intellectual and thinking "intelligence" is the only morality in the world Bob really advocates hard for anti-intellectualism. All these tweets from him just boil down to "we need to dumb down our entertainment because thinking is pretentious" and films need to be reduced to the equivalent of jangling keys in front of a toddler. Who cares whats happening or why?, silly noise is fun. Anything more complex storywise than the most basic script leaves Bobbys head hurting and distracts from the mindless visuals on screen. He really just wants everyone to be big dumb pigs wondering around the barnyard mindlessly consuming whatever slop is laid out in front of them just like him.

"Before I block you, please do something with your life."
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Get a film studies then you too can live in a moldy basement where your only human contact is mashing your fingers into your phone to scream at random people on Twitter.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

A shitty looking Mulan live action film where it’s only available on Disney+ for $30 since theaters are barely opening because of a pandemic? Yeah I’ll pass.

It doesn't even have the Eddie Murphy dragon.

 

[Mola Ram]

It doesn't even have the Eddie Murphy dragon.

Can't appeal to the Chinese market with colored folks.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

It doesn't even have the Eddie Murphy dragon.

Nor the Stevie Wonder/98 Degrees song it had.

 

[The Nothingness]

Can't appeal to the Chinese market with colored folks.

What about the lucky cricket? He dindu nuffin.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

That's what I'm saying, mang. No sane person cares about any of that shit. But if you take a grip of lunatics that do and record the autism, you might be able to edit out a really funny result. Kind of like they did with Arthur Chu - following him around, letting him talk, then coming to the conclusion they were filming a tragicomedy.

We already have that, just not in video form. This very website has done a fantastic job of archiving all the autism that was unleashed by Gamergate and the people involved in the conflict. Just look at how much we've documented on people like Bob, Sargon, Wu, Ralph, Quinn and SecretGamerGirl just to name a few.

 

[Iron Hamster]

A shitty looking Mulan live action film where it’s only available on Disney+ for $30 since theaters are barely opening because of a pandemic? Yeah I’ll pass.

That Disney+ is charging these saps $30 plus the $8/mo sub price and they're paying it is hilarious.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

So the idiot likes Mulan because now it is a Wuxia wire-fu movie?

He might also like it because the lead actress publicly sided with the Chinese government over the Hong Kong protesters, making her another ideal dream waifu for Yellow Fever Robert.

 

[Adamska]

Mulan review. 8 minutes:

Yet he claims he like his movies toxic and masculine:
View attachment 1575892

The screen he describes is literally in Mulan. And Bobby is predictably seething because people laugh at it!
View attachment 1575940

For a supposed "thinker and creative" he sure loves stupid and badly done movies that not even the Chinese like. It's almost like he should be gassed and exterminated by his own guidelines as the useless and mentally feeble alcoholic he is.