Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Bob looks genuinely confused and wielded out by two people showing affection for each other. I would to if I never received any all my life like bob, so I guess its understandable.

Edit: Jesus this mother fucker cannot take a normal picture to save his life. Even death-fats have SOME good pictures. He always looks either awkward, confused, or like a tard in literally every photo he has ever been in.
 
More wedding pictures from Chris:
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He posts a lot of pictures and here I pick my favorites. For the rest and the context go to his Twitter.
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I presume the forearm immediately below Chris's is Bobby's, but what is the cufflink?

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I don't think Chris has quit or got fired. He signed up for home renovation in September, which is not something you'd do if you lost your job.

Yet there is one thing that points to his not getting as many gigs as before. Chris used to have a series where he v-logs as he drives. People who do that deserve hell, but I don't think Chris stops doing that out of safety or concern for other road users.
Oh thank you for this bounty...
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Nah, nothing like that, although he does have a hateboner for Christopher Nolan (ever since the Dark Knight trilogy, he thinks only dudebros like his movies; this is what MovieBob actually believes). He's a fat fuck that ate himself into the 'betus, and thus he's deathly afraid of catching the Wu Flu (for good reason, the coof would probably knock him out if not kill him outright). Since Christopher Nolan wanted to release Tenet in theaters first so audiences could get the full experience he intended, Bobby refused to go see it because "muh personal safety." The first major movie release in months, and Bob didn't review it because of the coof.
I know this is Snyder not Nolan but I can remember back in the day when I watched his reviews ( I admit I watched all of escapists content regularly) he was complaining about Batman v Superman portraying Batman working out and getting ripped. This means it's a movie for dudebros because only stupid dudebros workout. I think this was the exact moment I realized Bob is a fucking dumbass.
 
Okay, I'm gonna skip the politics this time and focus on this last exchange because holy fuck:
Bobby discusses the Rey films with an Angel of his:
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Let's start with the troon's post. I'll give a point for the acknowledgement of Rey Palpatine being a hamfisted retcon, because oh boy was it ever. But the sheer fucking audacity to claim that Rey ever had a single moment of growth throughout the entire Disney Wars trilogy is ludicrous. From start to finish, Rey was literally the exact same character: a boring blank slate with no real investment in what's going on around her, just being shoved from one scene to the next because the plot needs her to be there to deus ex machina the good guys out of whatever problem they've found themselves in. Hell, even in the big reveal from Grandpa Sheev, Daisy Ridley is incapable of doing any emotion beyond gaping fishmouth, so the audience gets no clue as to what's supposed to be going through Rey's head at that point. There was no cleverness here, it was just "shit, nobody liked the explanation in TLJ, quick, let's make her a Palpatine!"

It didn't help that TROS had so much other shit crammed into its runtime that there really wasn't any time to have Rey grapple with her feelings on this. I mean, for a direct comparison to what JJ was ripping off, look at the revelation of Vader being Luke's father in ESB (oh spoilers btw): Luke is absolutely horrified that he's descended from this embodiment of evil, and his despair almost causes him to lose his life as he plummets to the bottom of Cloud City. It's a real turning point for his character, where he now has to wrestle with what his lineage means, and this comes to full fruition in ROTJ when he not only refuses to turn to the Dark Side, but helps Vader redeem himself and return to the Light. In TROS...Rey just gapes at Sheev and then blasts him with a retarded lightsaber move a few minutes later. Bravo, JJ.

Now, I absolutely hate TLJ, but I will say that the initial idea of "Rey's parents are nobodies" could have worked in a better trilogy. The idea that you don't have to be descended from one of these legendary families and still be a great hero is a good message; your lineage doesn't necessarily dictate who you will be. However, the problem was that Kathleen Kennedy wanted Rey to be an overpowered Mary Sue that she could self-insert into, and considering the general sense of "strong Force users are descended from strong Force users" in Star Wars, that meant there had to be some kind of explanation as to where the fuck Rey got her powers from. Thus, Rian's attempt at subverting expectations fell flat because fans were still convinced she had to be descended from someone important, so JJ had to come back and throw that out the window. Really, Rey being a Palpatine is little more than proof that Disney had no fucking idea what they were going to do in their trilogy from the start, and by God does it show.

This is why Bob's suggestion is stupid. I feel like a basic rule of storytelling is that everything you need to know should be found in the work itself, not expounded upon in ancillary materials. It's a problem that Disney has had with Star Wars ever since they took it over: so little is actually told in the movies that you're pretty much forced to read a bunch of books and comics and reference materials to actually figure out what the fuck you just watched and how the plot's supposed to make sense. Except that really doesn't work a lot of the time because there's nobody actually wrangling the canon at Lucasfilm anymore, so you're left with a bunch of contradictory bullshit. Having some kind of sequel story written later where Rey practically tells the reader what she was supposed to have been thinking during TROS is absolutely moronic, and it doesn't make it any less shit of a film.

On a side note, it's really telling that Disney hasn't released any stories that are set after the end of the Disney Trilogy, to say nothing of how awful the merchandise sales for the sequels are. Instead, they keep putting out OT stuff, or going back hundreds of years with their stupid High Republic project. It's almost like they know how much of a dumpster fire they've made, and they're pretending it doesn't really exist.
 
There is nothing hyperbolic about his belief in eugenics. Forget any "haha funni joke". Regular tweets where he espouses his good-faith opinions on "societal natural selection" among other things prove he is, aware or not, a eugenicist of the highest order.

Most Americans have eugenicist beliefs. I might pretend to be an analytic wokie on Cuckbook, but any amount of time spent on the average Dem supporter feed proves they are eugenicists. Talking about denying medical care to "stupid" people, mentally ill people shouldn't be allowed to be politicians etc. I think Democrats are evil, much more evil than leftists. I am a post-conservative partisan really. Trump all the way. If he really destroys america that sounds pretty based actually
 
Now, I absolutely hate TLJ, but I will say that the initial idea of "Rey's parents are nobodies" could have worked in a better trilogy. The idea that you don't have to be descended from one of these legendary families and still be a great hero is a good message; your lineage doesn't necessarily dictate who you will be. However, the problem was that Kathleen Kennedy wanted Rey to be an overpowered Mary Sue that she could self-insert into, and considering the general sense of "strong Force users are descended from strong Force users" in Star Wars, that meant there had to be some kind of explanation as to where the fuck Rey got her powers from. Thus, Rian's attempt at subverting expectations fell flat because fans were still convinced she had to be descended from someone important, so JJ had to come back and throw that out the window. Really, Rey being a Palpatine is little more than proof that Disney had no fucking idea what they were going to do in their trilogy from the start, and by God does it show.
As a thought experiment, I considered writing a treatment using TLJ as canon and when I did, it ended up looking like a scripted D&D kind of plot. If you want to accuse me of writing fanfiction, go ahead. So did Disney.

Act 1
Leia's funeral. Poe gives a Eulogy and shoots her coffin out into the asteroid field the Millenium Falcon is hiding in. The last twelve people in the Resistance now ask what are they going to do seeing as how they got BTFOd in TLJ. Rose and Finn do an inventory and find they're running out of supplies. Finn then states that a sparsely defended First Order outpost is nearby. Meanwhile, Rey holds vigil as she tries to meditate only to have Kylo intrude on her thoughts and argue about Leia's legacy and the effect her choice of career had to her family, thus giving us much needed exposition on what happened in between RotJ and TFA wrapped up in characters yelling at each other. Yes, I'm well aware Force Telepathy sucks, but I have to use TLJ components.

Act 2
Since the First Order "took over all the major systems in a matter of weeks," Kylo is now the new, indolent Emperor in the model of Caligula or Nero where Hux, to his chagrin, is actually doing all the ministerial duties while Kylo spends his time Force-skyping and investigating the Force sensitive planet Luke was on. After he murders the frog nuns with his lightsaber, he finds the Force Mirror Pool and it amplifies his rage throughout the galaxy, expressed as an space quake. For Rey, it didn't do anything but show her herself because she's an empty vessel. For Kylo, it plays out muddled VOs (stop asking Harrison Ford to come back, his demands keep breaking the budget. Get that Robot Chicken impersonator instead mixed with whatever Leia lines were in deleted TFA scenes) of his parents that infuriate him. Meanwhile, Finn, Rose, and Poe plan a heist on the FO outpost and succeed at getting supplies, but trip the alarm and now they have a fleet on their tail. Yeah, I know I still have Rose as a supporting character and having her act out of character on top of it, but Rian Johnson's direction that made her suck, not the character herself.

Act 3
While everyone is shouting about where to flee, Rey recommends going back to Ahch-To (it's canon, so the name is stuck) where the source of the quakes are coming from. She argues that the only way to end the war for good is to go there. Once the Falcon gets there, they see Kylo's fleet in orbit waiting to shoot them down. Poe wants to flee immediately, but Rey dashes off to an escape pod to head to the planet. Finn persuades Poe that this is their last stand anyways and mans the turret one last time to mirror TFA. Rose, thinking it's her last will, tells C-3P0 and R2-D2 to get into the other escape pod for time capsule purposes and to also mirror the opening of real Star Wars. Down on the planet, Rey confronts Kylo for the last time and they die on each other's swords while the Falcon crashes into the bridge of Hux's flagship. Done, everyone's dead now. Even Rose, who objected to kamikaze attacks in the first place in TLJ.

Again, I know we're supposed to make fun of MovieBlob, but writing fanfiction for free is a more productive use of time.
 
I remember commenting on how he could use his free time to hone his film critic skills, however meager they are. Has Bob seen movies that normally go to the festival circuit, like the ones that usually run for the Grand Prizes in Sundance, Cannes, Berlin and such?

Hell, has he ever stopped to watch and analyze films by some of the names that cinema buffs praise, like Sergei Eisenstein, Andrei Tarkovsky, Yasujiro Ozu or Werner Herzog, just to name a few? Hell, doesn't need to go far. He could see the innovations brought by people like Orson Welles, Francis Ford Coppola and Sam Peckinpah. Anything other than the usual blockbuster fare made for laymen like me to just watch and enjoy, and not think too highly about its themes and methods.

At most I saw him criticizing Ken Loach and praising a couple of Luís Buñuel films the other day; I don't even remember why, but I recall it being a rather petty reason. It sounded more like a poor attempt at saying he does see something other than mainstream stuff churned out by the big Hollywood studios.
Can you imagine Bob discussing the directors you mentioned? He would hate them through his own political and ethical framework:
  • Sergei Eisenstein sympathizes with Russian working class
  • Andrei Tarkovsky is one of the most religious directors who ever lived
  • Yasujiro Ozu makes movies that examines traditional Japanese values
  • Werner Herzog deconstructs people filled with greed and ego
  • Orson Welles speaks out against the corporate greed of Hollywood
  • Francis Ford Coppola often makes movies about characters dealing with masculinity
  • Sam Peckinpah's movies contain lots of killings against brown people
It would be morbidly entertaining to see Bob embarrass himself, but I've watched and read too many terrible video essays and articles to the point I'd rather people like him just stay away from them and stick to modern movies as to not pollute the discourse.
 
If Lindsay Ellis ends up asking her followers to report Bob for targeted harassment, my sides will be shred to ribbons. For someone who’s so deeply invested in what internet strangers think of him, he has zero qualms about showing his thirsty ass for her on a regular basis— even though she literally never acknowledges him and has confirmed in writing that she doesn’t care for him. It’s hard to watch tbh.
 
That's probably the most Bob has been out of his comfort zone when it comes to cinema. As well, i can say as someone that worked 4 years at movie festivals that a lot of the stuff screened is hot garbage, like documentaries about some tribe that got shafted by the spanish in south amarica or the homage to a film director by a lot of his buddies. Still, you can find many diamonds in the dirt if you have resilience and get a crapload of nice movies like Train to Busan or Dragged across Concrete or freaky stuff you watch out of curiosity like Jesus shows you the way to the highway and Liberté (this one would definetly go into Bob's favourites if he ever watches it).

Aside from that, i doubt Bob will ever set foot in a movie festival. I think the large congregation of people will be an enormous deterrent for him. Specially when said people are probably more knowledgable about cinema than him.

I would pay for that. No joke. As well, have the guy joke about sexual affairs and overall fuckups and degeneracy that happened during the movie.


This is the epitome of SUBHUMAN STUPIDITY. THE LETZTER MENSCH FULLY FORMED. A dumbass like Moviebitch who thinks that the MCU is the epitome of narrative craft could NEVER comprehend an ACTUAL arthouse film. He is absolutely the kind of person who would watch Children Of Men and hate it because it "depicts a weak black woman needing to be protected by strong white men" although he would say it in his snake-oil-salesman

This is why I support violence to a certain degree. I don't agree with liberal or conservative ignorant extremists, but I want them to perform the Darwinist Deed of killing each other so that the educated moderates can sit back, laugh, rebuild, and examine the newest example of Natural Selection



Of note is the fact it was apparently the *parent company* of the escapist which decided to fire him, which makes me wonder whether he was seen as such an unbelievable liability and embarrassment to the brand that word made its way up the corporate ladder enough to have corporate bigwigs directly intervene just to remove him from the equation

THE PARENT COMPANY FIRED HIM?? So this isn't just some financial shit. These people are literally and personally disgusted by Bob 😂😂😂
 
Most Americans have eugenicist beliefs.
I must disagree with this greatly.

As someone who works globally, constantly traveling as an engineer (I have worked on all continents), and I am not American, as a group of people, Americans are very tolerant of the disabled.

In America, it is not unusual for one with a disability to be out in public and hold a job. If you have a problem with someone with Down syndrome packing your grocery bag, in America you are bad person.

In most countries, the disabled are to be hidden away with no public life.

In Europe, some countries practice Eugenics AFTER WWII.

I don't mean to sperg. I work with a lot of fellow engineer from overseas and we often try to get jobs in the US for the pay but also many times because if we have children with issues, in the US it is easy for us to get them educations.

In Europe and Asia, it is a massive struggle.
 
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