Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[CharlesBarkley]

Is there any big movie that is marketed to nerds and had lesbians having sex that would make Bob gush in cringey fashion?

The joy luck club.

 

[King Dead]

The Craft?

I dunno about the unnecessary remake because I have no intention of watching it, but the original didn't have any lesbo stuff. Sex perverts like Blobbo would probably claim that there's subtext all over it because it's a group of teenage girls and of course they're gonna be scissoring offscreen, but I don't give two shits about what some fat virgin thinks about lesbian subtext.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Sex perverts like Blobbo would probably claim that there's subtext all over it because it's a group of teenage girls and of course they're gonna be scissoring offscreen, but I don't give two shits about what some fat virgin thinks about lesbian subtext.

He would really loved Below Her Mouth because it’s nothing but lesbian sex, and it pleases the male gaze.

 

[Halsey117]

As machinic capitalism does its thing, Bobbert will have to decide whether he wants technocapital futuregasms or niggers/k-words to have rights. He'll have to decide, and his lack of knowing that makes him infinitely more retarded than the average leftist.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I hope Chris Chipman kills only himself when he crashes his car while driving and vlogging. Ditto anyone reading this who makes video selfies while driving. Please save time and just kill yourself before you get in the car again.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

The idea of someone falling in love with their stunt-double is so Hollywood narcassism made life it boggles the mind.

And of course Bob tweets three throbbing hearts about it.

Oh and his: "Same", yeah, like he's going to play D&D. That would mean he'd have to leave his basement lair and cooperate with people.

 

[Chad Holdenford]

I am now imagining Blobert playing a round of tabletop RPG's. He would have a hard time knowing the rules, give shit to his campaign companions, complain about his stats and the results of his dice-rolling, and other antics that would make everyone else at the table walk out on him.
And if he was the DM? He'd make life miserable for all the players involved with extremely arbitrary decisions. And everyone would walk out.

Later on he'd harp on about his experience on Twitter declaring it "an interesting pasttime taken over by filthy Nazis" or something along the lines.

 

[The tired cat]

I am now imagining Blobert playing a round of tabletop RPG's. He would have a hard time knowing the rules, give shit to his campaign companions, complain about his stats and the results of his dice-rolling, and other antics that would make everyone else at the table walk out on him.
And if he was the DM? He'd make life miserable for all the players involved with extremely arbitrary decisions. And everyone would walk out.

Later on he'd harp on about his experience on Twitter declaring it "an interesting pasttime taken over by filthy Nazis" or something along the lines.

The most I imagine is fatso asking if there's any lesbians or if the group has 2 female players/characters he'd ask if they are lesbians. Plus, I imagine Bobo attacking villagers or farmers yelling "DIE SCUM!! DIS IS FO MU SUPHEHIA FUTAH!!!" or getting pissy when they meet the king and it's not a talking vagina

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

Of all the sperging Bob does on Twitter, he finds little time to talk about current events and happenings with spaceflight. Given that quite a lot has happened this year alone, It’s almost like he knows jack shit about it...

 

[TopTierHealer]

You dream that one?

View attachment 1684151

You're right, sorry, I remember the news that the Space Program would be replaced but I mixed Obama spying on his second term with the Climate Change programs. This one's on me.

It was less a defunding of NASA as a whole and more shitcanning the Constellation program that Bush had spearheaded as another attempt to return to the Moon. Part of it was an attempt to appear fiscally responsible (admittedly, the program was over budget and behind schedule, but we're talking the government here, what do you expect), but I think most of it was the desire to cancel any positives the Bush presidency might have had. If Constellation had succeeded in putting a man on the moon again, then Bush would have gotten some credit for getting the ball rolling, and Barry wasn't about to let that happen. Instead, NASA had to make do with a few unmanned probe missions while a lot of the agency ended up focused on global warming.

Of course, Obama sycophants didn't have any problem with this, but I'm guessing Bobby did. You heard the same sort of reasoning from leftists then as you do now, with a common refrain being "why go to space when there are still problems on Earth to deal with?" They conveniently ignore all of the major advances to science and technology from the space program and just demand more gibs for the poor.

I absolutely love how Bob has to twist himself in knots to avoid being happy about a return to manned space exploration, all because the Bad Orange Man is behind it. That's why I really do hope that Artemis can proceed on schedule and do the first moon landing in 2024. If Trump gets reelected, that means the moon landing would happen on his watch. Bob's tears would be wonderful.

Also, fuck off, Seth Rogen. Go make another sex pervert "comedy" and leave the important stuff to people who know way more than you do.

Thank you for the clarification, this was what I had forgotten. It was political maneuvering in the end but it is nice to see R&D going into unexplored territories rather than "Experts say that you will need to eat bugs to save the planet".

 

[Positron]

The inability to see a difference between negotiating a salary and begging is jaw-dropping

If anyone attempts to negotiate his pay with me by bringing up his wife's unpaid student loan and his daughter's medical bills. I'll say "I'm sorry to hear that" and show him the door. People who don't make a distinction between private life and business will not fit in a corporate setting.

EDIT: somehow I missed this. Remember that Robert doesn't really care about the snyder cut

While I still don't know what is "Snyder's Cut", my impression is that Bobby thinks it is a dudebro or even QAnon thing so he hates it as a matter of course.

I hope Chris Chipman kills only himself when he crashes his car while driving and vlogging. Ditto anyone reading this who makes video selfies while driving. Please save time and just kill yourself before you get in the car again.

The problem is that these dregs of society might get other people killed before they get themselves killed.

Support your favorite alcoholic fat fuck in one easy instalment!



Why are these Brothers so lookist?

I hope Sarah Chipman take precautions: your dear husband might troon out:

Please try your best not to get pregnant again Sarah: middle aged, married men tend to troon out when their wives are at their most vulnerable.

+ + + +


Bobby teaches you how to really fight fascism: the key is to destroy mayonnaise ghouls before they can resent your nepotism towards your favorite queers and BIPOCs. The South should have been Auschwitzed.


Bizarre animal logic:

Come again? Animals don't "simply been displaced by geography"; they go extinct because they are incompatible with the change of ecology. And I don't quite see how horses have anything to do with marginalized people.


Never mind then.

Bobby's fan club come to his defense, in the pathetic way that we're all too familiar:


+ + + +
"Make Puerto Rico part of the United State and demote Alaska! Rid people we don't like their right to vote!"
"Hey Bob not cool"
"I'm only joking, my dear noble savage that I desperately want to save by making your country ours! BTW I'm totally not a colonialist!"




Biden is nothing more than "an swing-state-morons-friendly old white guy figurehead".


You will "defeat" the pandemic if you just vote Trump out:


+ + + +
Bobby talks about charm, charisma, and humanity:


In Bobby's Angels, Troon #67 demands total subservience before he deigns to call you his "friend".


While Jenny Nicholson (not sure if genuine woman) relives her fond memory of Twilight.


Finally, Bobby receives a fan mail:



To congratulate him for keeping his blood glucose level, here is something that I hope will make him happy:

 

[Mola Ram]

Bobby teaches you how to really fight fascism: the key is to destroy mayonnaise ghouls before they can resent your nepotism towards your favorite queers and BIPOCs. The South should have been Auschwitzed.

Oh, please, Bob, do go on about how the failure to utterly crush the South led to Mussolini's Italy, Weimar Germany and the subsequent rise of the Nazi party, and the sure-to-be-enlightening connections to the Japanese cult of the Emperor.

How can someone use such big words to describe such moronic theories?

 

[TopTierHealer]

Finally, Bobby receives a fan mail:

Bob, if you're going to send an email to youself you might as well try to change your voice a little.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Why are these Brothers so lookist?

How do they both fuck up your and you're?

 

[Mola Ram]

How do they both fuck up your and you're?

In the words of the late, great Phil Leotardo, "Because they're stupid, that's why."

 

[Adamska]

How do they both fuck up your and you're?

Because their daddy didn't pay enough attention to them as children; he was too busy working and drinking.

Seriously, Chris went from gainfully employed engineer to this demanding shitstain of a beggar with delusions of entertainer being thrown in. Amazing cratering of a life and proof that Billy-Bob's entire clan is just white trash he'd gas if he had standards.

 

[Neko GF]

Boomer Robert tries to meme:

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1320375211301195782 (Archive)

If you need to explain your joke, it probably isn't a very good joke.

 

[Mola Ram]

Boomer Robert tries to meme:
View attachment 1685762
https://tw.tinf.io/the_moviebob/status/1320375211301195782 (Archive)

If you need to explain your joke, it probably isn't a very good joke.

This reminds me. @Rekkington made a post recently that I think deserves more attention, because it is a perfect cameo of MovieBob, stripped of the Mario silliness and the lesbian obsessions and even the mayonnaise ghoul hatred and strikes right to his core. This is the essence of MovieBob distilled to a few sentences:

Let's be clear: Bob does not joke. Bob has never in his career made a joke. He can do crude parody of people who bullied him in high school, he can go on Twitter and do eyeroll emojis, he can do extremely heavy sarcasm (usually ending with a Reddit-tier "this is sarcasm btw for the idiots out there") but he is neither emotionally capable nor socially aware enough to fuck with people online.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

The Escapist made a announcement that it would replace Bob’s review series with a three minute review series with Jack Packard and Darren Mooney soon.

 

[Positron]

The Escapist made a announcement that it would replace Bob’s review series with a three minute review series with Jack Packard and Darren Mooney soon.

I love how they emphasize "'The Big Picture' is no longer part of our content line-up."