Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Right, let's waste a New York strip by slicing it, battering, and frying it. Fucking idiot.

I like Froot Loops. I also like hot dogs. I love mayo, jalapeno poppers, sushi, and peanut butter. Let's mash all my favorites together and deep fry it. Remember, this one's a thinker. We stole the future he earned.
Maybe not a NY Strip. But slices of skirt, or cubed chuck? Sure, it's a thing. Down south, in places that Blob has wet dreams about vaporizing via nuclear attack, like the Judgement Day scene but with a cooming fat man.
 
No one cares what you blow your money on, Robert. They care when you brag about it on the internet or make up weird justifications like "at least I'm not blowing it on drugs." You make it sound like you're embarrassed for spending money on stuff you enjoy.

Ugh, Bob's tastes clearly never left grade school. This sounds like something I'd come up with if when I was 10 years old. Imagine seeing a nicely cooked, juicy, tender, boneless or strip steak, no marbling, perfectly red/pink in the middle, and thinking "I want to deep fry that!"
It also shows how he hasn't traveled or been out of his own world much. Everything he salivates over already exists or sounds horrid with a very odd exception here or there. No wonder he has the physique he has if he keeps wanting everything deep fried or able to be dipped in something.
Should I tell him about menchi katsu? It's not exactly what he's proposing, but it's close.
Gyukatsu and kushikatsu are also kind of similar to what he's talking about.
Chicken fried steak is already a thing in America. I suppose Bob is thinking more of a batter you would use to fry fish?
I'm sure if he were to try to elaborate, it would take several tweets. Brevity is something he's not capable of, nor can he develop anything resembling an adult palate.
 
From the Moviebob Wins twitter account

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Maybe not a NY Strip. But slices of skirt, or cubed chuck? Sure, it's a thing. Down south, in places that Blob has wet dreams about vaporizing via nuclear attack, like the Judgement Day scene but with a cooming fat man.
That sounds great. With some gravy or something. Real comfort food.

I still think Bob meant a fancier cut. He's trailer trash living what he thinks sophisticated people do. Hence the verbosity, extended but often incorrect vocabulary, and boasting about 50 dollar steak swimming in some bullshit sauce. Sauce goes on cheap meat, but Bob doesn't know that. High society knows his ass doesn't belong.
 
That sounds great. With some gravy or something. Real comfort food.

I still think Bob meant a fancier cut. He's trailer trash living what he thinks sophisticated people do. Hence the verbosity, extended but often incorrect vocabulary, and boasting about 50 dollar steak swimming in some bullshit sauce. Sauce goes on cheap meat, but Bob doesn't know that. High society knows his ass doesn't belong.
The thing is, Bob has the attitude to be a weird old school noveau-riche type. He can certainly come across as one with his idiot food ideas and thesaurus-to-impress way of speaking. The only issue is he doesn't have the money to make the other rich people tolerate him.
 
That sounds great. With some gravy or something. Real comfort food.

I still think Bob meant a fancier cut. He's trailer trash living what he thinks sophisticated people do. Hence the verbosity, extended but often incorrect vocabulary, and boasting about 50 dollar steak swimming in some bullshit sauce. Sauce goes on cheap meat, but Bob doesn't know that. High society knows his ass doesn't belong.
Bob is exactly the kind of asshole who would try to use filet mignon or rib cap for that, because it was there and he had the money.

While, again, wanting to take the people who have perfected this dish over 150+ years into something worth crossing an ocean for and have them worked down in his gulags into soylent green so he can enjoy his greasy beef crusts.
 
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The other good thing that GotG had going for it was that it was almost entirely divorced from the rest of the MCU. About the only thing tying it to the plot as a whole was the Power(?) Stone (whichever the purple one was, hell if I'm gonna keep this shit straight anymore), and the rest was just a campy sci-fi adventure with a group of wildly different rogues being forced to team up to survive. It didn't get bogged down in the increasingly complicated storyline, and thus it was given room to breathe, explore concepts on its own, and focus on delivering an entertaining plot that was pretty much entirely self-contained. It's what Edgar Wright wanted to do with Ant-Man before Disney said no, though I believe James Gunn had more leeway there since the story was taking place halfway across the galaxy and far away from

As soon as the GotG ended up crossing paths with the rest of the characters, I knew that whatever they had going for themselves was over. I don't even really care to see GotG3 at this point. Endgame was where I checked out of the MCU, and I have sincere doubts I'll ever want to watch another one of their movies, to say nothing of the dozens of TV shows in the works. A decade of formulaic capeshit was more than enough, thanks.
One of the things I liked about Guardians was that it wasn’t the generic capeshit. Sure they save the galaxy and all but they’re not a bunch of goody two-shoes.

They were good people but at their core they’re outlaws. Even when they’re doing good stuff.

I wish we could get more stories like Guardians of Galaxy. It’s more interesting than the usual capeshit.

There's a good reason why the drop between The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi was so massive and also why The Rise of Skywalker was a billion dollar disappointment. "Passing the torch" only works if you actually show respect to what came before (see the success of the Creed spinoff series). The Disney trilogy did nothing but show contempt for the male characters of the OT and basically erased the accomplishments of Anakin and Luke Skywalker. The latter became a hermit sucking on green tit milk while abandoning his family and friends to die before his "redemption" arc that consisted of an astral projection that killed him. The fans obviously didn't like it and that's what left the eye boggling fall in the box office after the normies had their one weekend viewing.

I bring Star Wars up because Disney showed it can't handle torch passing and soft reboots properly for one of the most influential properties in the history of humanity. Given how obnoxiously woke it has become (poor Walt would hang his head in shame), I shudder to think what it would do to the MCU. It may be cliche capeshit and it certainly caused some horrible problems that the industry can't shake, but what it accomplished in terms of coherent storytelling and character moments, I think, are beyond commendable. Disney would eagerly torch all of that to start over and wouldn't hesitate to desecrate the older characters to make their woke replacements look better, fan opinions be damned. If it could do that to Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, then Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America are nowhere close to safe. Hell, I wouldn't count Chadwick Boseman's Black Panther as off limits.

In the grand scheme of it all, Bobert would, of course, praise to the nine divines because it's Disney and the Lefty trend setters would demand their acolytes praise it. He is one of the greatest sellouts and lapdogs in his field.
I agree with everything you said.

I hate this trend of frowning upon men and turning women into a bunch self-righteous Mary Sues. They have no respect for the original source. These companies have turn wholesome and inspirational stories into a bunch of feminist power fantasies.

And the people who support this shit are the worst. I mean, they’re a bunch of toxic fanboys and fangirls. They’re followers. And what are they even hoping to get out of it?

Don’t they realize they’re just being used?
You and me both.

How the fuck can you hate Peppa Pig? Daddy Pig alone makes the show worthwhile. It's one of the shows I can watch with a legit interest together with my own nephews without bemoaning how boring the base premise is of whatever it is we watch. Car Patrol could improve on some areas, for example, though it's naturally all good as long as the nephews are happy. Give it to a supremely stupid and disgusting person like Robert to feel spite to something as wholesome as Peppa Pig.

The fact that the loathsome tub of lard that is Robert supervises his nephews from time to time is genuinely alarming. I'm not surpsied that brother, who is equally as abominable as Robert, would find no faults in this, though. I wonder what his wife thinks of the arrangement of having such a humongous loser such as Robert watch over their children? While she is arguably not one a perfect representation for her gender, given by the naked fact that she stooped so low as to couple and breed with Chris, I can't help but suspect that she is not thrilled to have Robert lurking around in their household. That is if she isn't equally as contemptible as the Chipman brothers, which is likely. I'm curious to know more of Robert's sister. Has she truly parted ways with the rest of the Chipman cavedwellers? People thought not too long ago that Chris was an at least somewhat accomplished man, and look have that turned out. Sister-Chipman seems to at least have the good graces of staying away from more public forums of social media.
While I have never watched Peppa Pig, I do understand what you’re saying.

I think manchildren like Bob hate on it because they’re a bunch of cynical, pessimistic spergs who hate anything happy or wholesome.

They’re ugly people, so they gotta make the world as ugly as they are.
 
Bobby claims he has "dated above his station":
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What "televised interview" is he talking about? And does Bobby even own a shirt that isn't printed with video game or capeshit logos?

Play nice on behalf of Uncle Joe! You dumb obsolete kids!
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Bobby brings up Tucker Carlson's private life to own him:
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Even more Carlson to follow, but first, some background story about a literally who who writes about "internet and culture" for NYT.
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A liar and a journalist, but I repeat myself.

Let's hear Bobby's comment. Echoing AOC's accusation against Ted Cruz, Bobby thinks Carlson wants to get Lorenz killed.
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Incidentally Bobby lets loose he has an eye for fine arts:
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"So I can tell people I own something that Carlson's mother thinks worth more than her son". Totally not a Revenge Quest, no?

You see Glen Greenwald in the thread, and of course Bobby will not miss an opportunity for a cheap shot:
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MAGAs are worse than the mentally-ill; they aren't even worth fixing:
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Bobby congratulates another white woman for getting her comeuppance, but more importantly, he now identifies as an "aging white guy":
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Young 'uns, let Jolly Uncle Bob share his hard-won wisdom with you.
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+ + + +
Bobby wants a ruggedly handsome actor to get beaten in real life:
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Grimdark Superman:
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DC vs Marvel capeshit:
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Bigotry in the fantasy world:
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Leave them Mutants alone!!!! They are just trying to exist and have basic human rights!!! Unlike those Uncle Tom, passing-privileged Fantasic Four!
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Bobby seems to have a new "topical" pitch based on Superman. My non-Properly Evolved brain cannot process this:
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More capeshit talk with Chu-chu. You should read the whole thread because it was originally about penises, but when Bobby arrives the subject turned to fish and veganism.
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More. Fucking. Em. See. You.
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South Park:
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How do you say "I hate how this toy might make kids idolize the military but shit I wish I had something that cool as a kid!" in Bobbyese?
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Food. You can guarantee that the sight of high-fat food will render Bobby more incoherent than usual:
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If MAGAs aren't worth "rehabilitating", I wanna know what Mobiebob's ideal final solution for them.

>INB4 euthanasia
Typical eugenics. Though as I always say, if you want something extremely harmful to happen to the general population, then the one who threw the stone first should be the first to suffer.
 
If MAGAs aren't worth "rehabilitating", I wanna know what Mobiebob's ideal final solution for them.

>INB4 euthanasia

Forcing them to live in cities and taking away their ability to vote on anything that matters until they either fall in line, renouncing god and country or die off as a evolutionary directive because I guess women who have abortions until their wombs are destroyed and men who cut their dicks into an gash that keeps trying to heal over are somehow gonna populate the future?
 
If MAGAs aren't worth "rehabilitating", I wanna know what Mobiebob's ideal final solution for them.

>INB4 euthanasia
He's said it before pretty explicitly: eugenics. He only denies it and won't say it now because he knows it'll get him in trouble. But he's not as smart as he thinks he is because he thinks he can say shit like "they're a lost cause" and "they're obsolete" and thinks people won't be clever enough to link those old comments with his eugenics comments and put 2 and 2 together.
 
Bobby seems to have a new "topical" pitch based on Superman. My non-Properly Evolved brain cannot process this:
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Is he actually proposing that someone should make a Superman story that focuses on Clark Kent as a journalist? I don't think you could make a more boring idea if you tried. Also, how in the hell does he think characters would get rid of kryptonite? Throw it all in a rocket and launch it into the sun? I'm sure gathering all the worlds kryptonite like that wouldn't just result in supervillains stealing it.
 
Forcing them to live in cities and taking away their ability to vote on anything that matters until they either fall in line, renouncing god and country or die off as a evolutionary directive because I guess women who have abortions until their wombs are destroyed and men who cut their dicks into an gash that keeps trying to heal over are somehow gonna populate the future?
He's said it before pretty explicitly: eugenics. He only denies it and won't say it now because he knows it'll get him in trouble. But he's not as smart as he thinks he is because he thinks he can say shit like "they're a lost cause" and "they're obsolete" and thinks people won't be clever enough to link those old comments with his eugenics comments and put 2 and 2 together.
I'm torn.
On the one hand, my mind refuses to believe that someone living in the west in the 21st century would unironically want a death camp.

On the other hand, it's Moviebob, and I don't think he wants to risk them rising up.
 
That sounds great. With some gravy or something. Real comfort food.

I still think Bob meant a fancier cut. He's trailer trash living what he thinks sophisticated people do. Hence the verbosity, extended but often incorrect vocabulary, and boasting about 50 dollar steak swimming in some bullshit sauce. Sauce goes on cheap meat, but Bob doesn't know that. High society knows his ass doesn't belong.
Heaven forbid that porcine imbecile ever get his paws on some A5 Wagyu. Dumbass would probably smother it in mayonnaise or buffalo sauce.
 
Heaven forbid that porcine imbecile ever get his paws on some A5 Wagyu. Dumbass would probably smother it in mayonnaise or buffalo sauce.
And I'm sure half of us will wake up in Bob's house in Boston covered in blood and with huge erections in Minecraft. The after party meet up should be fun!
 
Who's willing to bet he'll use this as a justification that he's part of the "superior future" because he got vaccinated before some of the inferior blue collar workers?
He thinks that being vaccinated is an accomplishment instead of something that you get offered if you're in poor health.
I love mayo, jalapeno poppers, sushi, and peanut butter.
He put peanut butter on a burger. Make of that what you will.
Bobby claims he has "dated above his station":
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This is so autistic I can't think of what to say.
Let's hear Bobby's comment. Echoing AOC's accusation against Ted Cruz, Bobby thinks Carlson wants to get Lorenz killed.
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I'm unsurprisised Blob thinks O'Reilly criticising an abortionist and someone deciding to shoot that abortionist are correlated. By that logic, Bernie was behind the shooting at the Congressional baseball game a couple of years ago.
You see Glen Greenwald in the thread, and of course Bobby will not miss an opportunity for a cheap shot:
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If Blob rented the space in his head he currently lets Greenwald use for free, there would be no homelessness in America.
MAGAs are worse than the mentally-ill; they aren't even worth fixing:
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Does Blob honestly not realise that if you constantly marginalise a people, drive them out of work, kill their leaders, and treat them like scum, they'll end up fighting back?

Lenin, who was pretty much the expert on this stuff, said that any society is three meals away from revolution. Blob should remember that before he talks about disenfranchising the MAGA ghouls.
Young 'uns, let Jolly Uncle Bob share his hard-won wisdom with you.
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”Hillary is more capitalist than Trump but that's left wing because she said troon rights” is an interesting take.
 
Bobby seems to have a new "topical" pitch based on Superman. My non-Properly Evolved brain cannot process this:
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This is a great example of Blobert firing from the hip without knowing anything that a simple search should otherwise dissuade him from saying. Kryptonite is "ALWAYS" revealed to the audience after Superman is established as a good guy, but that's not necessarily when it is discovered by the characters off-panel/screen. Kryptonite is commonly shown as having come to Earth with or even before Superman's rocket. Nobody realizes it can kill an alien dude from Krypton because there's no alien dude from Krypton to test it on, it's assumed to be another random element on Earth. It's also commonly shown that the government, or Lex Luthor, or somebody else has all kinds of Kryptonian shit that's fallen to the Earth over the years but nobody knows what to do with it until Superman comes along.

And from what I remember the first major plotline in the Superman books Grant Morrison did, which somebody in this Twitter thread of Blob's referenced, the government's Kyptonian junk "wakes" up when Superman starts flying around and they've got other rockets and a dog and all kinds of shit. That's how they and Lex know what Superman even is. They have been experimenting with the stuff for decades to the point where they can create Metallo without knowing he'll be lethal to Superman just that Kryptonite is a powerful resource. We the readers know that this is lethal to Superman, none of the characters do until he gets weakened by it and Lex is like "aha!" and figures it out.

Hell, in the Superman movie, which is therefore beyond ubercanon to Robert, Lex knows what the fuck it is and what it can do:
Lex knows what this is enough to setup a trap for Superman with it. That means it has to be discovered at some point prior to when it's revealed and used in this scene by Luthor. Superman's been established as the "good guy" to the rest of the world for all of five minutes in the movie. At no point could anyone have had this discussion about Kyptonite, which is no less "non-native" than any of other elements that came to us from space, because it seems only Lex knows it can kill Superman who nobody else except for a select few even knows exists until Lois publishes her story about him.
 
Is he actually proposing that someone should make a Superman story that focuses on Clark Kent as a journalist? I don't think you could make a more boring idea if you tried.
I’ve might’ve said this before but I’m gonna say it again; how do these idiots come up with the dumbest ideas?

I never understood how nerds and spergs come up with ideas that are so boring. You think a bunch of people who spend their time reading fanfiction or watching/reviewing cartoons and anime could be more creative.

Seriously, where do they come up with this stuff?
 
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Is he actually proposing that someone should make a Superman story that focuses on Clark Kent as a journalist? I don't think you could make a more boring idea if you tried. Also, how in the hell does he think characters would get rid of kryptonite? Throw it all in a rocket and launch it into the sun? I'm sure gathering all the worlds kryptonite like that wouldn't just result in supervillains stealing it.
"Let's make a firefighter movie with no firefighting. It's just a dude doing his laundry and going to the bank and shit for 110 minutes."

-Rian Johnson
 
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