That and it's a movie about Mario's one-time rival. The Blue Blur can never be allowed to succeed in his own mind, especially where Mario failed so miserably in 1993.
We all still remember the time when Bob considered the Console Wars between Sonic and Mario as his own Vietnam.
And as a man who loved Mario long before he loved Sonic, Bob is a point of eternal embarrassment for me and all Mario fans. On behalf of all Mario fans, I apologize to the world that one of our own is such a pedantic piece of crap.
Imagine being forty and being mad that they're making a second Sonic the Hedgehog movie.
Perhaps, one day, as he's dying of inoperable puss cancer, realizing that nobody will burn a sick day to attend his vacant funeral, he'll understand that normal people just avoid media they don't like instead of taking personal offense that it *exists.*
"How dare they make another movie for the side that I fought in the GLORIOUS CONSOLE WARS! Don't they know that they should be making MCU movies that I will compare to Shakespeare instead?"
I think the funniest part is Bob missing the bigger picture, pun not intended, it wasnt just the fans backlash for the design but also the test audience went "Wtf?!" and thus making the studio change it.
The funniest part is that Bob hates it when corporations take advice from the plebian masses, because as much as he tries to make himself look like the man of the people, in the end, Bob is even more elitist than actual nobles who believe in public service duties. The public should be serving people like HIM, not the other way around!
He also hated it because the producers actually listened to fan complaints over Sonic's design and decided to improve the movie. That really got him riled up over it. He's very angry that the fans got what they wanted.
Basically, yes. He sees it as another victory for the alt-right yahtzee crowd that wants to bully poor, sweet corporations whom he sees as beautiful creatures. Ever since the Mass Effect 3 debacle, we've seen idiots like Moviebob always bitch at the fans for wanting to get what they paid for. How dare the fans want to get what they were advertised! How dare the fans speak up for consumer rights against megacorporations that lie to their faces about the kind of endings promised to them in games they paid for with their hard-earned cash!
Bob will never understand. Even to his dying day, while he's hooked up to a respirator and dying of obesity-related issues, he will still maintain that he is in every way superior to his detractors. He will still be tweeting on his phone, his pudgy fingers almost too big to press the speech-to-text button (they're too big to press the letters.) The only cards will be from his brother and the Kiwi Farms, and yet he will never consider he's the one who drove everyone away- in his mind, it'll be their fault that they couldn't understand his genius.
I don't think it will even come to that. He might die of a heart attack long before that when the obvious political shift happens due to the left bringing in half the third world into the US and the country veers far to the right socially. Then he will be asking himself what went wrong, when the enlightened masses he wanted to meet with turn out to be far to the right of Ronald Reagan.
I find it hilarious that Blob thinks that your generation is defined by pop culture.
To Bob, there is nothing else. Religion? Patriotism? Politics that aren't determined by dumbass professors wanting to launch another failed Communist Revolution? None of them are more important than Marvel movie schlock that exists to separate easily-excitable kids from their parents' money!
Trump knew how to run a business.
To Moviebob, he can't accept that. Leftists twats like him have to always parrot the line that Trump inherited everything and can't run a business for shit. Even though Trump's business acumen allowed him to make deals between nations that usually hate each other, Bob can't accept the notion that Trump's financial success is in any way earned.
What are the odds that he fucks a prostitute à la Chris Chan?
You're assuming the prostitute doesn't run away screaming at the sight of him taking off his clothes.
Bob doesn't realise that America is such a big country that a national lockdown would be impractical.
And he also doesn't realize that the politicians he so blindly supports killed more people than anti-vaxxers and people running around with no masks.
Voting third-party in 2016 does not make you evil.
In Bob's mind, voting for anyone but the dumb corporate leftist establishment makes you evil!
And on that note:
1) the Roman Empire didn't collapse because it was led by Christians, but because of Islam and its weak leadership. Christian emperors such as Constantine the Great or Justinian were far better rulers than the majority of pagans; it was only because it wasn't strong enough to defeat the Muslim invasions that it lost Egypt and Palestine, and it was only because it didn't have good enough generals that it lost Anatolia.
2) you are not Catholic. Please stop claiming to be Catholic when it suits you and please stop mentioning that you're from Boston as if it's a punishment.
1) Bob can't accept that Christian Emperors like Constantine and Justinian were possessed of the kind of energy and vigor that many pagan Emperors lacked, nor can he accept that Christian Emperors like Flavius Mauricius and Charlemagne accomplished things that the pagan Emperors could not, such as forcing the Persians to be a Roman satellite state or conquering Germany. Nor could he accept that his beloved Islam caused the destruction of the Ancient Roman world in the Mediterranean, which signaled the true beginning of the western Dark Ages.
2) If only we can petition the Church to officially excommunicate him on account of him hating his Catholic heritage. Hey, I'm pretty sure Bob would wear that excommunication as a badge of honor among leftist circles!
On the topic of Catholicism:
Once again:
• the Church does not draw her theology from opinion polls of laity.
• not all Catholics are Italians or Irishmen; I've met a lot of English Catholics and I'm one myself.
Bob can't accept that. To him, the only valid sources of authority are the woke leftist establishment and its corporate overlords. Not some Magisterium of some ancient Church that survived millennia of persecution and trials.
He probably also can't accept that large swathes of Catholics are Asians or Africans from the third world, who are probably more zealous in Catholicism than he would ever care to recognize.
Saying that Muslims worship Mohammed is about as factual as saying Catholics worship statues of Mary, but if I got to sue every Prod on the internet who said that I'd be able to buy a small island.
If I got to sue every Prod who said that, I could probably buy a Death Star from Grand Moff Tarkin.
Mohammed was a paedo, however, and the fact he claimed to be the messenger of God does not mean the fact he fucked a nine year old girl should be excused.
Any pedophilia not done by right-wing authority figures like conservative parents or clergymen is not recognized by the left as evil. They're more than willing to tolerate pedophilia so long as it isn't done by the "wrong" type of people.
(as an aside, I've always been confused about how whites are both superior yet always get dominated by Jews in these people's minds.)
Victim complex. It's the same as the SJWs like Bob who keep talking about how they're superior, yet also speak of themselves as if they were victims of great injustices.
What are you talking about?
It's OBVIOUSLY Fox News' fault that Bob decided to embarrass himself publicly with that Mario autobiography. It's their fault he got fired from The Escapist (twice). It's their fault he lives in a leaky basement. It's their fault he's diabetic. It's their fault he does nothing but sit on Twitter all day and night, screaming at the void. It's their fault he's not living on his Moon ranch right now.
Most of all, though, it's their fault that Lindsey Ellis won't tug on his Male Feminist Ally™ winky.
Fucking Fox News!
To Moviebob, taking responsibility for your actions is tantamount to blowing off your own foot with a 12-gauge shotgun. And Bob would rather neck himself than take responsibility.
Oddly enough, I can see Lindsay Ellis coming to his bedroom one day, only to pack a knife which she uses to go full castrati on him.
Also, notice how he thinks it was only the Mayo Ghouls that spread the virus and not the Fentanyl Floyd protests/riots, as if the latter's commitment to anti-racism alone prevented such from happening (if that's not an example of religious thinking, than I don't know what is).
Don't you realize, their commitment to anti-racism created a fire in their hearts that made them immune to COVID-19! The fire inside them burned brighter than the fires they caused, and that burned the virus when it tried to infect their precious hearts!
You could keep the entire midwest locked down forever and it still wouldn't make up for the deaths caused by Cuomo. The reason this pandemic was so deadly was because of the negliegence and inaction of the people in power, not the lower classes.
Bob is such a raging bootlicker for the neoliberal corperate democrat establishment he's convinced that the reason things are bad is because the poor people they exploit aren't consenting to the exploitation.
"But that can't be! The enlightened leftist politicians can't be more damaging than those ignorant savages on the right!"
"How dare those people not consent to being exploited! Don't they know that it's the right of leftist corporations to do as they please and publish whatever they want, and all these slobs should be allowed to do is to take it up the ass and accept everything?"
In those last, pitiful moments, he has nothing of value to pass on. With no children of his own, he thinks of mailing his binder of restraining orders to his brother's brood. Having seized the children from their father's cockroach farm, the state refuses to disclose their address to him. Penniless, he'd spent his final Patreon beggings on fois gras sandwiched between McNuggets and ketchup. A convictionless douche at the end, he mouths a silent prayer to Mario.
Mario doesn't reply because he's a fucking corporate mascot engineered to separate retarded man-children from their money.
No. Mario actually answers the prayer, only to appear and slap him on the face for being a Communist degenerate. Mario, a true-blooded royalist patriot of the Mushroom Kingdom, would smack Bob upside with his hammer due to Bob's ardent leftism and anti-traditionalism, since Mario is a traditional male hero who spends his time rescuing princesses from dragon-turtle men and other monsters. He's the Mushroom Kingdom's Lancelot with a red shirt and blue plumber overalls, and a liberal degenerate like Bob would disgust him to the core.
Bob really is still living the Console War. He is worse than those Japanese holdouts because he knows it's over and has been over for years and he just continues to grow ass mad everytime Sonic has even a remote success. He really is genuinely upset that the Mario movie was a spectacular failure while Sonic had box office magic. I also suspect that his comments about the original Sonic design "not being the problem" were partly made because he wanted it to stay so the movie would fail.
The Console Wars never ended for Bob. He still gets nightmares of Sonic fans making fun of him for having a Nintendo instead of a Sega. Instead of, you know, just working your ass off and getting both? He also can't stand it when the "wrong" people enjoy any kind of success, which is truly sad.
I mean, I'm no fan of Disney Star Wars, but I was actually happy for them when they faced some measure of success with the Mandalorian and Season 7 of Clone Wars, and although I don't see their SW as part of my personal canon, I still wish them well with the Bad Batch and Boba Fett shows.
