Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

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How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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That tweet is so stereotypically movieblob that it fucking hurts and is hilarious at the same time. Imagine both being obsessed with videogames to the point that you compare characters in them to real world politicians and also simping for people like Kamala Harris and Nancy Pelosi, two of the most corrupt and vile women in the government.
I don't know the other character but isn't Peach pretty much characterless? She exists to be captured by Bowser and yelling "HELP!!!!" ?

”’Booo! Rich guy BAD!’ anti-capitalism is dumb performative bullshit if it's focused on the package delivery guy”
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There has been no droolposts about AOC in at least 2 weeks. Is she on Bobby's mad-at list with Lindsay Ellis?
 
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https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1387701284359258113 (Archive)

LOL, look at this thing 🤮🤣:
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Nutter "prophet" claims Hillary Rodham was supposed to be the one who leads us through the Tribulation we call covid. Bobby thinks he'd be better for his job:
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I've never heard of "Ziz"; Wikipedia informs me that the creature is only mentioned in passing in two Psalms.
I've never heard of this bird thing either. I have heard of Ziz as in the area where God defeated Amon and Moab for Jehoshaphat. Looking it up too I find that the vague references we have for it, that don't appear in some translations btw, don't strike me as a "kaiju". A bird that can eat boars sounds less Rodan and more really big bird. It doesn't flatten trees as it flies or nestles in the crock of mountain or have spears for fangs or swords for claws. It eats boars, which are much smaller than domesticated pigs even back then, and is The Lords. This isn't Smaugh. All of this is being nit picky about text that's thousands of years old and about something only the people of Judea would be able to fully grasp at the time but this is fedora tipping Bob who brought it up so I'll pick all the nits I want from it.

Lastly, it amazes me, even though it really shouldn't, that he capitalized God, meaning that he means the great I am and not just referencing any deity, and felt the need to censer it. You could cut cheesecake with that edge. It's pathetically sad. He's like a 14 year old mad that his parents make him get up Sunday morning for church and he's just learned about evolution from his gay science teacher. If he still had hair it would be long, greasy, in his face. I can one hundred percent see him getting into a bar fight by getting wasted and belligerently walking up to people minding their own business and huffing out "U tawkin avout MASSSSSSS!?!? Didju nooooooooo da newt esteemant wuz fan friktion righted by preests in a ruum? YOU FUCKING OBSOLETE BELIEVERS!"

There's a documentary by Bill Stein called Expelled: Intelligence Not Allowed. It's about how intelligent design is being not just disallowed but persecuted, and that's probably too strong of a word but I can't think of anything else, in a style that we would now call cancel culture The Beast. I'm not here to argue any points of the movie. I'm bringing it up because there's an interview in the movie that reminds me of a nicer and sober Bob. The guy being interviewed talks about how he fell out of religion and how religion is detrimental but they're really not trying to eradicate it, just trying to lessen it to where it should be, to make it like knitting. People like kitting. It's safe and harmless and gives people something to do and he doesn't want to take that away from people. You also don't base your life and philosophy off of knitting. I'm not paraphrasing or making my own example. That's his, to the best of my recollection, wording and example. It's that, ironically, holier than thou, in this moment I am enlightened, dismissive attitude that just oozes from Bob's pores but Bob has neither the eloquence nor the smarts to properly word his arguments. You know he hid under his blankets at night thinking of all the different ways he could ask one of the nuns at school "If God is all powerful than can he make a boulder to big for him to lift?" while frantically masturbating about said nuns.
 
I don't think his idea to marinade in soda is quite as bad as the amount of time he does so. For poultry, overnight would probably be the longest you'd want to marinate it. Most marinade recipes I've looked up online will give a maximum marinade time of 12 hours - after that, the fibers in the chicken start to fall apart and the flesh tastes mushy and acidic. Wasn't Bob's sink chicken marinaded in hot sauce for 5 days? That's longer than most refrigerated meat will stay good for. And putting it into an anaerobic environment is just asking for botulism poisoning.
Pretty much. If Billy-Bob just let the chicken stew in the dew for an hour or two, then it'd still probably not taste the greatest due to the way I envision the dew's flavor entering the bird, but it'd be fine. Same with the hot sauce; if he let it stew in that and a bit of acid for a half hour or so and then cook it into a sauce glaze, then it'd be fine.

But nope. He lets it rot and break down like a fly for some autistic reason. Also the fact he dumps like a pound or two of Knorr's rice just boggles my mind every time he does that.
Yeah, don't dehumanize if you act like a subhuman yourself. It never goes well.
 
If Biden did take away Bob's meat, would that push him to be right wing?
I think his love of McDonald's and Mountain dew chicken is too strong for him not to go full MAGA
I don't think so there's a reason fast food places now do impossible burger versions of their products and people say "It taste the same" because most fast food places use low quality meats try a taste test between an impossible burger and a homemade burger from your grill made with good ground beef not even fucking close. At Fast Food places you're mostly tasting the condiments which goes to show the quality of food Blobby eats.
 
It's common knowledge that he's permanently in the high school mindset, but for all his violent fantasies to opponents, has he ever successfully managed to intimidate someone? In school or otherwise?

And if not, has he tried? I'm not saying it would work, but it would definitely be funny to hear/read about. Imagine him trying to actually physically threaten someone and not look like, well, an aging obese retard.

He said in his book that he tried to ingratiate himself to the cool kids by bullying smaller kids. I'm pretty certain what actually happened was him trying to be a bully, getting his ass kicked and crying in front of everyone, then spending the rest of his time in school getting mocked relentlessly for it.
 
He said in his book that he tried to ingratiate himself to the cool kids by bullying smaller kids. I'm pretty certain what actually happened was him trying to be a bully, getting his ass kicked and crying in front of everyone, then spending the rest of his time in school getting mocked relentlessly for it.
also bob wrote that his parent legit wanted to put him in the special class ed but he fought them because he was just so much smart than his teachers.
this cow has been forever retarded and with a chip on his shoulder
 
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Does she ever close her eyes?
She's probably wary of going to sleep and committing suicide by taking two bullets to the back of the head.
Say, as the resident catholicsperg, can you shed any light on where Bob got the idea that there's a 3rd "Kaiju" in the Bible (that is a bird called "Ziz") in addition to Behemoth and Leviathan, and that the three of them will be eaten for dinner by those who get to go to heaven after armageddon and the End of The World? I must have missed that part unless it's in the Apocrypha or the Pseudepigrapha.
Never heard of it, it's not in any of the deuterocanonical books if that's what you mean by Apocrypha, and it's apparently a part of Hebrew mythology.
isn't Peach pretty much characterless?
Yes. Didn't Bob's waifu use Peach as an argument in Tropes vs Women in Video Games? Knowing Bob, you'd expect him to know that.
There has been no droolposts about AOC in at least 2 weeks. Is she on Bobby's mad-at list with Lindsay Ellis?
For what it's worth she hasn't really done anything noteworthy in the past two weeks, but I'd be very unsurprised if Bob views her as evil for not thinking that Jeff Bezos and Kamala Harris should become our benevolent technocratic overlords and for nominally being a Christian. However, there are two very prominent reasons Bob hasn't expressed those views.
felt the need to censer it
Censoring God's name is a Jewish practice; the reasoning behind it is that if you destroy a piece of paper with His name on it you're committing blasphemy so it's best to write ”G-d” to avoid doing that.

This is why lots of synagogues have attics full of marriage documents and legal contracts; they have God's name on them so they can't be destroyed, so they just get shoved into the attic and become a problem for Rabbi Shekelstein's successors who want to use it.
 
He said in his book that he tried to ingratiate himself to the cool kids by bullying smaller kids. I'm pretty certain what actually happened was him trying to be a bully, getting his ass kicked and crying in front of everyone, then spending the rest of his time in school getting mocked relentlessly for it.
It also could had backfired because the "cool kids" seeing him pick on truly the lowest hanging fruit would make them say "Dude Not Cool". I mean you don't pick on real retards just assholes who act like retards like Blobby.
 
He said in his book that he tried to ingratiate himself to the cool kids by bullying smaller kids. I'm pretty certain what actually happened was him trying to be a bully, getting his ass kicked and crying in front of everyone, then spending the rest of his time in school getting mocked relentlessly for it.
It also could had backfired because the "cool kids" seeing him pick on truly the lowest hanging fruit would make them say "Dude Not Cool". I mean you don't pick on real retards just assholes who act like retards like Blobby.
I'll offer another explanation: Bob is full of shit and bullied other kids because he couldn't strike back at his bullies. Just to power level a bit, I did the same to a student when I was in middle. Something I feel ashamed of and I would give a heartfelt apology for being a spiteful and idiotic teenager. Bob may feel the same way about his old victims, but the way he rails on about "the wasteland" demonstrates that he didn't learn a damn thing aside from, "no bad tactics, just bad targets."
 
He said in his book that he tried to ingratiate himself to the cool kids by bullying smaller kids. I'm pretty certain what actually happened was him trying to be a bully, getting his ass kicked and crying in front of everyone, then spending the rest of his time in school getting mocked relentlessly for it.

If those cool kids didn't have a justification for pushing him around before, him bullying other kids gave them their perfect reason to do so.
 
Wouldn't it be funny if his kids rebelled?

"Damnit, you need to eat your fatty foods and consoom more vidya!"
"No Dad! I'm eating healthy and playing sports! Stop trying to control my life!!!"
"Ugh! Why can't you just be a normal consumerist shut-in like your uncle?"
*Obese Blobert gurgles in the corner, excited by the newest MCU trailer*
Except Bob only likes retro games and thinks all new games suck because GG. All his kids would have to do is like only new games which is comon they don't even care about ps3 games because they look dated despite often being seen as the last great gaming gen over the meh one we just went through.
 
What's your favorite vintage Moviebob cringe video/moment? I'm pretty sure we all agree "Building a Better Gamer" is peak Moviebob hypocrisy.
Watching this honestly pains me. I don't even disagree with most of the shit he says in the vid. But it's like movieblob somehow had a ultra-rare moment of self-awareness and saw everything wrong with his life, from being a massive aspergical consoomer to his horrifying diet and lifestyle, and instead of working to get his shit together, he just decided to make a preachy, pseudointellectual vid projecting his flaws on his viewers.
I'd say it's the overthinker where he lays out the intricate theological lore of the Mario games like how Bowser's the devil because he's a horned turtle with hair and Rosalini's god because she the mother to the star babies and is bested by a horned turtle with hair.
 
I don't know the other character but isn't Peach pretty much characterless? She exists to be captured by Bowser and yelling "HELP!!!!" ?
That's precisely what she's like in most of the various Mario/Luigi games Nintendo has released(there's a few exceptions here and there, mostly in the RPG spinoffs and the sports games). Which is funny, since Pelosi and Harris would both better fit with Bowser in terms of personality, minus the occasional redeeming qualities the latter shows every so often.
 
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nigga please
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Fucking retard you've been following this guy and picking fights with him for over half a year now. You're doing your best to be gay and make him your new Aimee Terese. It is one hundred percent the other way around. I cannot wait for the inevitable block by Fox, Bob's smug satisfaction from the block, and the perpetual tweets with screen shots of Fox's tweets like the wannabe spurned lover he is.
 
The Moviebob of that time would definitely have been a Malthusian; ie the sort of guy who Jonathan Swift parodied in A Modest Proposal.

All you'd need to do would be replace "Irish" with "Red-Staters" and make the monarch of Britain a well-endowed Latina, and Bob would be throwing copies of it from the rooftops.
 
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