Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Wulfpack Legend]

I mean, I'm one of the biggest Transformers-spergs out there, but even Bob's idiotic tome made me cringe at the sheer unadulterated autism on display, not to mention all the exceptional galaxy-brain takes on his fanfictionalized Mario ideas. Least of all the problems encoded therein is Bobby can't write to save his fucking life.

It just makes me grateful that Bob's far less of a Transformers-sperg than a Mario-sperg-sped. I shudder to think if Bob's fantasies involved idolizing Bob Budiansky (the guy that basically gave all the TFs their personalities) in the manner he idolizes Mario's creator.

Has Bob ever written any Mario Fanfiction? (At least any that anyone's found or knows about). I'm surprised I haven't seen him put anything on fanfiction dot net or anywhere like that, shipping himself as a self-insert between Princess Peach and Princess Daisy or something stupid like that. I've seen fanfic where people insert themselves into Transformers and literally get their brains uploaded into robot bodies. Bob seems to be behind the curve here for his Soopeeryah Fyootchah.

There was one that he wrote but it got taken down (good luck finding it). It was mentioned on this podcast (Bob lore starts around 2:50):

 

[TerminalTryHard]

I think a lot of Bob's religious worship of Mario is retroactive. A mythos Bob slowly built up in his head over time to hide the horrifying reality that he wasted his entire youth staring at a screen. So Bob inflates the importance of the game the same way he inflates his own intellect and success. He then continues to twist reality in an attempt to make everything fit.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Thank you for informing me. I was not aware.

Yeah we do not want/need another @John Spetsnaz.

I think a lot of Bob's religious worship of Mario is retroactive. A mythos Bob slowly built up in his head over time to hide the horrifying reality that he wasted his entire youth staring at a screen. So Bob inflates the importance of the game the same way he inflates his own intellect and success. He then continues to twist reality in an attempt to make everything fit.

That is an interesting concept and would help explain how he can't remember when he got the one device that was so important that it shaped his entire childhood and life after thirsting for it.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

Why does every single nerd want to be the ‘Idea Guy’? I’ve met tons of people who want be the ‘Idea Guy’, and they’re were all idiots like Bob.

Easy, watch me be an idea guy:

So I got this idea for a great movie. It's fantasy, takes place in a forest that's a maze. And if you cut down trees to make a new path new trees magically grow somewhere else so it's still a maze. And there's some teenagers, they want to find their way out of the forest, but everyone tells them you can't leave the forest. They explore and closer to the edge there's these weird monsters that are like spheres that roll around and grow giant shark mouths to eat people who wander too close to the edge. And the sphere sharks seem to be ignoring, then later controlled, by this man who's got one eye and looks like a forest dweller except you realize later on he's got a revolver on his belt. And at the end of the movie the kids beat him and leave the forest and find out the world's like techy and dystopian. The sequels will be about the kids bringing down the techy dystopian regime that kept them in the forest with the sphere sharks, and they'll meet and be helped by a secret coven of witches who control the trees or something.

There ya go. That's all they think there is to being an idea man: Dumping a few paragraphs of stream-of-consciousness worldbuilding without any concern for actual characters, internal logic, practicality, entertainment value, or whether you're ripping off something you heard of a few years ago and forgot about. All those things are the bland maintenance work we farm out to our less inspired subordinates. (Well, except that one about ripping off, that simply doesn't happen. We never rip off, we're inspired.)

TL;DR Every would-be "idea guy" thinks ideas are rare and wonderful, and that implementation is easy and requires no work or talent. In reality ideas are common and 90% shit, and implementation is hard and requires a TON of work and talent. They lack both the ability to do the hard work and actually implement their ideas, and the self-awareness to realize it. Also, their first idea was that bad ideas are a thing other people have.

TL;DR the TL;DR: Idea guys can only ever create ideas. Nothing else.

("Idea" doesn't look like a word anymore. Dammit.)

 

[CharlesBarkley]

I have an idea for a movie - It's about this fat retard who has diabetes and every single thing he says is dumb and stupid. Eventually, he gets into wacky hijinks when he meets the Troon of his dreams and is hunted down by radical leftists, annoyed youtube creators, and others. In the end, he finally gets to suck his crushes hairy weiner only to have a heart attack and die as soon as his lips touch the tip.

 

[Wulfpack Legend]

When Bob starts blogging

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

In the end, he finally gets to suck his crushes hairy weiner only to have a heart attack and die as soon as his lips touch the tip.

What's the title? The Bloat Bunny?

 

[Imposteroak]

I think a lot of Bob's religious worship of Mario is retroactive. A mythos Bob slowly built up in his head over time to hide the horrifying reality that he wasted his entire youth staring at a screen. So Bob inflates the importance of the game the same way he inflates his own intellect and success. He then continues to twist reality in an attempt to make everything fit.

I could see how most people would come to that conclusion, especially given how melodramatic he is about the whole thing. I think him being as much as a sperg about mario as he presents answers more questions than it raises though.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Bob apparently thinks he would be a mayo ghoul Adonis.

 

[instythot]

Bob apparently thinks he would be a mayo ghoul Adonis.

View attachment 2144948

So if bob is convinced that he'd be more attractive in flyover America, what's keeping his penis in coastal isolation? His costs would be lower, his income would be the same, his workflow unchanged

 

[Mola Ram]

Bob apparently thinks he would be a mayo ghoul Adonis.

View attachment 2144948

This is one of those times I wish Kiwi ratings were on Twitter instead of just "likes." Imagine all the "Optimistic" ratings.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I’ve met tons of people who want be the ‘Idea Guy’, and they’re were all idiots like Bob.

Or they go around persuading autistic manchildren that they have to pay them $6000 or their imaginary city will be destroyed by a laser on the moon.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

So if bob is convinced that he'd be more attractive in flyover America, what's keeping his penis in coastal isolation? His costs would be lower, his income would be the same, his workflow unchanged

He doesn't want to soak in the mayo like some kind of vintage Palmolive commercial.

 

[instythot]

He doesn't want to soak in the mayo like some kind of vintage Palmolive commercial.

But really, how different is that from his diet?

 

[Uncle June]

Is this fat piece of shit really trying to judge people by their looks?


L O L

 

[Mola Ram]

Is this fat piece of shit really trying to judge people by their looks?


L O L

He does this with surprising regularity, considering he himself looks like a pile of bacon fat sweating in the sun.

 

[ChampFantana]

Bob apparently thinks he would be a mayo ghoul Adonis.

View attachment 2144948

Just when I think this bloated imbecile couldn't possibly get any stupider, he manages to top himself.

Bobert, I am a proud Midwestern Mayo-ghoul. You'd still be an incel virgin loser if you moved out here. Please keep sharing your delusional idiocy though, it's great entertainment.

 

[Nobue]

Bob apparently thinks he would be a mayo ghoul Adonis.

View attachment 2144948

Only one of them look weird. I think the 'beetus is taking Bobert's eyesight

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

Bob apparently thinks he would be a mayo ghoul Adonis.

View attachment 2144948

Every time I look at this thread I hate Bob a little bit more. If crime ridden, shit covered, overcrowded, expensive, pollution filled cities are what you call civilization I want absolutely no part of it. I would rather die than be forced to live in any place you think is civilized.

 

[Flexo]

You wonder if the proofreader/editor got tired correcting it and gave up trying to find them all, or if Bob never hired one in the first place? (why spend money on perfection?) Or did, but wrote off (ha! c what I did thar?) the advice as Mayoghoul tampering?

I knew a person who worked as a proofreader at a small pay-and-we'll-make-it publishing house that occasionally got "Vanity" projects from people who clearly weren't experts in either the subject or grammar and were only coming to them because all the "big" publishers had turned them down.

And when they would submit the corrected first-draft manuscript back to the authors, they'd get the SAME thing back, with angry notes about how the author didn't appreciate the "changes to my vision" and would fight them all the way about the slightest change, even if it was punctuation, not sentence structure, let alone questioning the facts.

Now you're giving me flashbacks...

I mean, if you guys really want to, I can actually go through his History of Mario. I found it dull as dogshit, but I think I could find a fleck of gold or two there.

We should probably set up a tag in/out system.

You forget my least favorite thing he does (Because of course there's more).

If you couldn't guess, it's his abuse of parentheses to insert random non-sequiturs and gibberish he has while typing a sentence. Rather than let the sentence flow (like a river), he does what the fuck I just did, thus making it far harder to read.

These things more than anything are why I don't think he reads all that much. A person who reads a lot would at least have a decent grip on writing structured sentences for others to look at. But Bob, being Bob, only writes for himself.

Bob only became "bookish" because of Nintendo power, and those alongside his capeshit comics and strategy guides to beat Bing Bing Wahoo are probably the only books he willingly reads.

Makes sense. Those strategy guides would have frequent uses of ( ) and - to mention side comments. i.e. "Climb the platforms on the next screen (make sure you grab the 1up along the way) and you'll find yourself face to face with the miniboss."

Imagine "The Last of Us: Kart Racer". It would be stupid because the activity is against the idea of the narrative and aesthetic.

That sounds like such a disaster I really want to see it now.

I guess golf clubs replace the blue shell?

It goes kirby/splatoon levels of ridiculous at points very much would recommend that autistic hellspiral.

I thought Kirby's lore was just, "one day Nintendo decided to do a family friendly Lovecraft game..."

he is a god of destruction