Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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I don’t understand his hatred for sidekicks. What’s wrong with training generation?

Even Hercules I’m the original Greek myths had a sidekick/protege. His nephew Iolaus, helped him with the 12 Labors.



I hate that attitude, “We know you better than you know yourself, so be grateful to us”.

If these people know us so well, then why do their stories suck?
Bob grew up in an era (well the tail end of one anyway) where Sidekicks were so ubiquitious, it was definitely overused, especially if they were children, and in many cartoons the sidekick characters were portrayed as some level of annoying or obnoxious. Think Zack in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Marvin, Wendy, and Wonder Dog in the first Superfriends series (1973; rerun on television in the 80s); Daniel and Wheelie in TFTM and Season 3 of The Transformers cartoon; and any number of classic Hanna-Barbera sidekicks from the 50s through the 80s. Filmation in particular was guilty of spamming "annoying child sidekick characters" and the only time the concept was denied to them was with the Animated Star Trek series (even though they really, REALLY wanted to, but Gene Roddenberry thankfully said no).

I'm not sure about how comic books handled sidekick characters back then as opposed to how animated cartoons and live action TV shows handled them, but I'm assuming they were portrayed much less annoying-ly.

So yeah, I'm betting Bob's attitude towards sidekicks was formed from whatever TV shows he was watching while he was a kid. So that sorta skews his perspective. It's not like he had many instances of animated/live action sidekicks being done right, I guess.
 
followed by some desultory jerking off to She-Ra porn on DeviantArt, then passing out to do it all again.
Thank you for that lovely mental image, I appreciate that. I really do.

Though I feel the need to point out that my mind, not driven by a conscious process, just assumed that She-Ra would have a dick in this scenario.
 
I've said this before, but I don't believe Bob is a drunk, at least not in the way that he makes out. His tall tales of waking up in a hotel lobby in Chinatown with no memory of the previous night sound like locker room braggadocio- and as evidence, I ask you: has he, at any point in the last five years, been off Twitter long enough for such a blackout night of partying to occur? Has he ever tweeted anything while clearly impaired beyond his usual retardation? Hell, his waifu Hotdog Girl spends a lot less time talking about her drinking habits and managed to produce a chef's-kiss-tier mugshot by getting fucked up in public, so we know that happened. Bob has yet to prove that he even goes outside.

No, I think his "hard partying" is slinging back of few cans of PBR or some other shit-tier beer while tweeting about gassing the mayo ghouls, followed by some desultory jerking off to She-Ra porn on DeviantArt, then passing out to do it all again. Thing Ignatius Reilly with consoomerism in place of the classics.

Bob strikes me as "That Guy" you work with.

You know the one.

The one who can see two dogs fighting over a bone in the street, and by the time he's telling you the story, it's mutated into him breaking up a street fight, and by the time he's telling the next person, it's further evolved into the National Guard getting involved....

He embellishes by force-of-habit of having an utterly unremarkable life and an insatiable ego-driven desire to be popular and have people hang on his every word. The only way to reconcile those two things, (the desire to have great importance as a sage of society and the obvious banality of his own day-to-day activities going largely unnoticed and uncelebrated) is self-aggrandizing his every achievement and downplaying every failure, which isn't really lying... it's more... setting the narrative:

My life story is a platform to advance important issues first, and an actual retelling of a life a distant second. (The typical libbie justification for being caught fibbing, it's okay when we do it, we have good motives for decieveing you: MOON WHEAT! SUPERIOR FUTCHA! ROBOBRAINS! as opposed to the "bad" deceptions of conservatives FALSE SKYGODS! RACISM! SUPERSTITION! )

So, that's how an unremarkable night of having two or three sad, lonely beers in a corner turns into a blackout bender and waking up in strange places.... it's all to build the narrative of a man of action and purveyor of gonzo journalism, not just another plebian who drinks his free time away. And if you hooked him up to a polygraph, he'd probably pass. See, he's convinced he's not lying, even when he lies, he's just ahead of the curve! He's sure those adventurous things will happen eventually, if he just "markets" himself correctly as a modern day Hunter S Thompson, just on Twitter instead of a typewriter.

But it's obviously such a false narrative to us on the outside looking in.

People who live the true and honest lifestyle of the professional drunk don't HAVE to shill for it by photographing their fridge to prove they've got beer in it.... or self-promote their pamphlets as we'd have already read them and asked for more if they made any sense.
 
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I don’t understand his hatred for sidekicks. What’s wrong with training generation?

Even Hercules I’m the original Greek myths had a sidekick/protege. His nephew Iolaus, helped him with the 12 Labors.



I hate that attitude, “We know you better than you know yourself, so be grateful to us”.

If these people know us so well, then why do their stories suck?

DiDio is a Silver Age fetishist who wanted to regress the DC Comics universe back to the 60s. Which is hard to do when you have multiple generations of sidekicks created to replace the ones who grew up.

He hated Wally because DiDio wanted Barry back as Flash because he was HIS Flash growing up and acknowledged that so long as Wally was alive, he could never force people to accept Barry back as the Flash

He hated Dick Grayson because he wanted Dick to be Robin and a perpetual 14 year old teenager again but couldn't do to how popular Nightwing was

He hated Donna Troy because a section of editorial who enabled John Byrne to rape Donna's backstory to render her utterly radioactive, while creating Cassie as her "permanent" replacement even though Cassie was a wholesale rip-off of a different character, who editorial turned into a super powerd mass murderer who killed half the population of Cassie's high school to punish fans of the character and to further salt the earth on any character who could threaten Cassie's standing as the only Wonder Girl in town and DiDio fell for it hook line and sinker

He hates Roy because he has a kid of his own, plus the fact that Kevin Smith created a replacement Speedy who is also has AIDS for diversity points, meaning that DiDio would rather have her than Roy.

DiDio's ideal Titans would be the cartoon version with Dick explicitly as Robin and a full on ban from ever aging Dick up in place to make him forever 14. And all other sidekicks killed off or limited to just a few "approved" characters like Black Wally, the Byrne Wonder Girl, and the Smith Speedy; all of which would be under a similar "forever 14 years old" edict preventing them from growing up.
 
I don't think Bob is a blackout drunk or anything. I think he drinks all day to maintain a "good buzz" and a lot of the time he goes just a little bit overboard and shoots off at the mouth like an asshole because his front lobe is soaked in cheap booze.

He'd have to be a pretty good drunk typer though, I'll admit.
DiDio is a Silver Age fetishist who wanted to regress the DC Comics universe back to the 60s. Which is hard to do when you have multiple generations of sidekicks created to replace the ones who grew up.

He hated Wally because DiDio wanted Barry back as Flash because he was HIS Flash growing up and acknowledged that so long as Wally was alive, he could never force people to accept Barry back as the Flash

He hated Dick Grayson because he wanted Dick to be Robin and a perpetual 14 year old teenager again but couldn't do to how popular Nightwing was

He hated Donna Troy because a section of editorial who enabled John Byrne to rape Donna's backstory to render her utterly radioactive, while creating Cassie as her "permanent" replacement even though Cassie was a wholesale rip-off of a different character, who editorial turned into a super powerd mass murderer who killed half the population of Cassie's high school to punish fans of the character and to further salt the earth on any character who could threaten Cassie's standing as the only Wonder Girl in town and DiDio fell for it hook line and sinker

He hates Roy because he has a kid of his own, plus the fact that Kevin Smith created a replacement Speedy who is also has AIDS for diversity points, meaning that DiDio would rather have her than Roy.

DiDio's ideal Titans would be the cartoon version with Dick explicitly as Robin and a full on ban from ever aging Dick up in place to make him forever 14. And all other sidekicks killed off or limited to just a few "approved" characters like Black Wally, the Byrne Wonder Girl, and the Smith Speedy; all of which would be under a similar "forever 14 years old" edict preventing them from growing up.

Which is all really weird when you consider how much Didio has done to make the DC universe as dark, ugly, dead and miserable as possible. I guess he only likes the Silver Age iteration of characters (for branding?) but still wants to write shit like Gay for Justice where an entire city of people die violently.
 
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DiDio is a Silver Age fetishist who wanted to regress the DC Comics universe back to the 60s. Which is hard to do when you have multiple generations of sidekicks created to replace the ones who grew up.

He hated Wally because DiDio wanted Barry back as Flash because he was HIS Flash growing up and acknowledged that so long as Wally was alive, he could never force people to accept Barry back as the Flash

He hated Dick Grayson because he wanted Dick to be Robin and a perpetual 14 year old teenager again but couldn't do to how popular Nightwing was

He hated Donna Troy because a section of editorial who enabled John Byrne to rape Donna's backstory to render her utterly radioactive, while creating Cassie as her "permanent" replacement even though Cassie was a wholesale rip-off of a different character, who editorial turned into a super powerd mass murderer who killed half the population of Cassie's high school to punish fans of the character and to further salt the earth on any character who could threaten Cassie's standing as the only Wonder Girl in town and DiDio fell for it hook line and sinker

He hates Roy because he has a kid of his own, plus the fact that Kevin Smith created a replacement Speedy who is also has AIDS for diversity points, meaning that DiDio would rather have her than Roy.

DiDio's ideal Titans would be the cartoon version with Dick explicitly as Robin and a full on ban from ever aging Dick up in place to make him forever 14. And all other sidekicks killed off or limited to just a few "approved" characters like Black Wally, the Byrne Wonder Girl, and the Smith Speedy; all of which would be under a similar "forever 14 years old" edict preventing them from growing up.

That is a curious, if not weird stance for DiDio to have, because I went to look at his wiki, and he has been in a decison making position since the early 2000's as vice president, and got to be the publisher of DC comics in 2010 (with Jim Lee, but we all know it was DiDio calling the shots).

And i find weird because I think it's pretty clear thar DC comics made a better job in introducing new characters, even characters to be passed down a legacy to, than Marvel ever was.

In these last 10 year for example, DC managed to even make Superman and Batman's kids into well stablished and liked characters, not to mention others characters that came on their own, like the two new green lanterns, while at Marvel, they are still struggling to make Kamala Khan's Miss Marvel to be a thing, even putting her as the protagonist in that bomb that was the Avengers game.

Not that I care much about most of these new DC characters myself, except the new Superboy,, but I just find funny that DiDio has such a desire to reverse the clock on the DC universe, when under his tenure as publisher, DC saw much better results in expanding and adding more characters than it's rival ever did.

So was Didio the ones responsible for the good runs on his years, or the good stuff just came about when he gave up and Geoff Johns got to run the joint?
 
He hated Wally because DiDio wanted Barry back as Flash because he was HIS Flash growing up and acknowledged that so long as Wally was alive, he could never force people to accept Barry back as the Flash
I wonder how much of what happened to the Flash from 2006 to 2008 was sabotage. Wally disappears in Infinite Crisis with an aged-up Bart to take his place. Fans revolted against that so they kill Bart and bring back Wally, but the Wally stories from 2007/8 were so godawful (some of the worst Flash stories I read) that they brought back Barry in Final Crisis.
He hated Dick Grayson because he wanted Dick to be Robin and a perpetual 14 year old teenager again but couldn't do to how popular Nightwing was
Can't argue with that, and the whole "Ric Grayson" makes me noxious.
He hated Donna Troy because a section of editorial who enabled John Byrne to rape Donna's backstory to render her utterly radioactive, while creating Cassie as her "permanent" replacement even though Cassie was a wholesale rip-off of a different character, who editorial turned into a super powerd mass murderer who killed half the population of Cassie's high school to punish fans of the character and to further salt the earth on any character who could threaten Cassie's standing as the only Wonder Girl in town and DiDio fell for it hook line and sinker
Donna Troy has the misfortune of having her origin being rooted in a creator not doing his research. The original "Wonder Girl" was Diana who team up with her younger selves and Hippolyta for "Impossible Stories", which Bob Haney mistook for a separate character and I don't believe Wonder Girl even received a separate identity in the late 1970s and a fleshed origin until the Wolfman/Perez run on New Teen Titans. Then came Crisis on Infinite Earths that created a snarl in the timeline where Wonder Girl predated Wonder Woman by several years, which Wolfman tried to patch up by revising her origin again and giving her the Troia identity. Then came Byrne and his continuity rape...

Funny thing is that a new Wonder Girl displaced both Donna and Cassie, and her name is Yara Flor.
He hates Roy because he has a kid of his own, plus the fact that Kevin Smith created a replacement Speedy who is also has AIDS for diversity points, meaning that DiDio would rather have her than Roy.
Which was unnecessary when you look at it. Ollie dissolved his partnership with Roy in "Snowbirds Don't Fly" with his former ward working as a government agent.

As you said, Dan DiDio had a problem with the characters aging and the think his animus towards the first-generation sidekick were all in their twenties and that "aged" the Justice League members too much. When you look at it this way, you can divide the DC generations as such.

1G - The Justice Society, Seven Soldiers, and unaffiliated heroes.
1.5G - Infinity Inc. (Children of the JSA)
2G - Justice League and other non-sidekick Silver Age characters.
3G - (New) Teen Titans
4G - Young Justice
5G - Damian Wayne, Impulse (Irey West), and Jon Kent--technically

I have to wonder why DiDio didn't have as much a hate boner for the Young Justice and 5G characters. They were the ones that would've especially "aged" the iconic Justice League.
 
I have to wonder why DiDio didn't have as much a hate boner for the Young Justice and 5G characters. They were the ones that would've especially "aged" the iconic Justice League.

Maybe he did hate them, but like Nightwing's popularity, Young Justice and the Super sons were popular, sop, you know, at least Didio could leave his pettiness aside... for a while I guess, DC editorial seems like a never ending source of drama.

Also, how can anyone hate Nightwing? He is one of my favorite DC characters, and if we are being honest, Nightwing was the only DC comic worth a damn in the 90's (no, I don't like Birds of Prey, Kingdom Coming is shit and Preacher doesn't count)
 
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Just a theory here:

Sometimes, I think editors who want to "wind the clock" back on their properties are that way because they're afraid to manage those properties out into the uncharted waters of the present and future.

Since 1966 - 1986 happened at DC and Marvel once before, then surely you can do it again, risk-free? Just use the same stuff, same characters and plots you were using "back then" with only the thinnest coat of fresh paint to convince the fans it's still "new".

In essence, I think it's their fear of failure and inability to man up and lead that makes them pine for reliving times that already came in comics- you know how it will play out. You take no chances you might upset someone if you're using already proven plots and characters that got the sales back in the day. Right?


And the current crashing of comics is because that fear of risk is running up against demands to make major changes for diversity's sake, and the mashup of those two conflicting directives creates the modern worthless woke comic?

They're, in essence, cowards with low self-esteem, and they hide it, clumsily, through never taking a risk with the left hand while furiously virtue masturbating with the right?
 
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Wait...

Are you NOT supposed to be on the internet while drunk?

I thought it was never post while stone cold sober.
Well you're a mechano-man, don't you run on liquor anyway?
Just a theory here:

Sometimes, I think editors who want to "wind the clock" back on their properties are that way because they're afraid to manage those properties out into the uncharted waters of the present and future.

Since 1966 - 1986 happened at DC and Marvel once before, then surely you can do it again, risk-free? Just use the same stuff, same characters and plots you were using "back then" with only the thinnest coat of fresh paint to convince the fans it's still "new".

In essence, I think it's their fear of failure and inability to man up and lead that makes them pine for reliving times that already came in comics- you know how it will play out. You take no chances you might upset someone if you're using already proven plots and characters that got the sales back in the day. Right?


And the current crashing of comics is because that fear of risk is running up against demands to make major changes for diversity's sake, and the mashup of those two conflicting directives creates the modern worthless woke comic?

They're, in essence, cowards with low self-esteem, and they hide it, clumsily, through never taking a risk with the left hand while furiously virtue masturbating with the right?
My theory on the current state of US comics is that they're so tied to Hollywood now that they're a) basically glorified IP farms the studios can milk and b) pressured by their owners to go more "woke", and that's what wins the awards, too. There's also the issue of continuity and history locking out potential new readers, and every attempt to un-junk the system seems to fail because they reboot indecisively.

Add to that the promotion of writers and artists that aren't promoted for talent and...well, you've got a situation where crap gets turned out again and again and stuff no one wants sits on shelves.

Meanwhile, the reader that just wants to see colorful heroes battling creative villains is turned off by this and running into the waiting arms of shonen and seinen manga, which usually is a self-contained story where you can start at #1 and not miss out on things because you didn't read this series and that one-shot.

This thread is bringing out my bitterness over what DC did to my legacy heroes. Donna, Wally, Tim all got shafted.
 
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At least on the Internet I think people (which is the proper plural of "person", not "conspiracy theorists") decided transhumanism was a bad idea around the time it stopped being about cool cyborgs and A Mind Forever Voyaging kind of stuff and started being about websites like LessWrong and their genius takes. Like the time some of them argued themselves into believing - and panicking - about AI Satan/God From the Future coming for clones of their souls.
LOL oh that basilisk thing! Never has it been more fun than to watch a bunch of atheist think their way back to God (albeit a very poor, crude, god).

So anyone else shocked this book wasn't written by Bob?

A young congresswoman falls in love with a daring masked protestor in Seattle, Washington. After encountering him at a non-violent burning down of a federal building she can't tell what is hotter, the fire or her feelings developing for him.​

Hey there's a poll question:
What book would you like to see Bob self-publish next?
  1. More blog post collections.
  2. Autobiography part 2.
  3. Steamy romance.
  4. The final solution to mayo ghouls.
  5. Cookbook.
 
Well, there's a new Mario+Rabbids game.

Bob will love that. Didn't he call the first one "cultural vandalism?"

Yep, because he saw a teaser image that showed Mario with a Megaman style gun and flipped his shit because he associates guns with FPS dudebros.
Hey there's a poll question:
What book would you like to see Bob self-publish next?
  1. More blog post collections.
  2. Autobiography part 2.
  3. Steamy romance.
  4. The final solution to mayo ghouls.
  5. Cookbook.
Only the first. He's already told us his autobiography and has nothing else to add. And the other three would require more effort than he wants to put in.
 
Also, veganism is a rich man's diet; eating vegan, let alone having anything remotely quality-wise as far as being stuff that taste good and appealing to eat, cost a TON of money. Not to mention time consuming to make. And that is something Bob doesn't have (money) or want to spend time on (preparing it).
The thing is, being a vegan is only expensive if you're too lazy to learn how to make your own food taste good. Looking up something like "budget ingredients" or "poor man's kitchen" will bring up lists that are 95% made up of vegan foods. I know a vegan who makes fucking great Japanese and Thai food and it barely costs him anything. Makes his own bread and hummus too. If he's lazy he just eats oatmeal. I personally couldn't be a vegan, but my friend makes me realize that people like blob really have no excuse to at least try to eat better. There's so many resources online for basic recipes.

Little purchases like daily 6 dollar burgers and lattes add up more than ingredients ever could, vegan or not. I hope early quarantine last year made a lot of people realize that.
 
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