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Reboot/sequel of the Labyrinth to be directed by egg daddy
Robert Eggers Thread - Based period film director obsessed with historical accuracy - 'The Witch', 'The Lighthouse', 'The Northman', and 'Nosferatu' (2024 remake)
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🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
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I was kinda hoping they had axed the planned Blood Meridian adaptation and given it to Eggman. He's the only one I would trust with it. I still don't think it's possible to adapt Blood Meridian but I could see his interpretation of it being good. Willem Defoe would obviously play the man who talks about a machine that builds a machine and an evil that can sustain itself eternally. Him getting Orlock so right as a walking personification of evil and his writing of Thomas Wake makes me think he'd actually get Judge Holden right.
ChampFantana
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I'm waiting to watch this one until I'm not sick, but I'm looking forward to it.
Eggers and S. Craig Zahler are the only two modern directors I give a shit about, so it's nice to see that Nosferatu is a good movie.
Eggers and S. Craig Zahler are the only two modern directors I give a shit about, so it's nice to see that Nosferatu is a good movie.
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Here's hoping he finds some new blood and doesn't use Anya Taylor-Joy for the girl or Dafoe or Pattinson for Bowie.
I would, however, be fine with Ralph Ineson in Bowie's role.
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I think Pattinson is likely, due to age and sex appeal, but I have a feeling a musician has a high chance of being called to play if it's not one of his regulars. This day and age it'd be what, Harry Styles?
Maniacal Foreigner
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Willem Dafoe doesn't have the looks for Judge Holden, I'm afraid. Not without a fuckload of prosthetics, anyway.
My ideal pick would be Vincent D'Onofrio.
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I mean that Dafoe would be perfect for the crazy old slaver the Kid meets who talks about machines and infinitely replicating evil earlier in the novel.
Pattinson is a musician actually, though I don't know if he sings or not. He played guitar in a few Death Grips songs.
Life is Hell...
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If i had to choose someone who i feel would perfectly fit Bowie's role, it would be Derek Hough. Since he's relatively talented both as a singer and dancer, and he's mentioned that one of his favorite movies growing up was Labyrinth. So i can see him being a decent successor.
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Well, I thought I was done getting tricked into indulging artists' dumb gay cuck fantasies when I quit reading manga, but Eggers managed to pull one over on me. Good prank, you got me, next time I'll know better than to go in blind I guess.
Part of me wondered if this was another humiliation ritual a la Jorker 2: Fulla Deux Deux as penance for the wrong people liking The Northman, but supposedly he's been developing this for almost a decade so I guess he really is just as gay as he looks (sorry Josh).
Also anybody saying it isn't sexual is huffing farts, every "trance" or "vision" or whatever is basically that one video of Stoya trying to read a book about death while sitting on a vibrator. There are no less than four scenes of women getting fucked by nothing and at least two of women getting fucked by something, I don't know, I walked out.
It was, in fairness, really well shot, well edited, and mostly well acted, but I don't care how high budget your horrorcore cuck porn is, I'm not interested.
Part of me wondered if this was another humiliation ritual a la Jorker 2: Fulla Deux Deux as penance for the wrong people liking The Northman, but supposedly he's been developing this for almost a decade so I guess he really is just as gay as he looks (sorry Josh).
Also anybody saying it isn't sexual is huffing farts, every "trance" or "vision" or whatever is basically that one video of Stoya trying to read a book about death while sitting on a vibrator. There are no less than four scenes of women getting fucked by nothing and at least two of women getting fucked by something, I don't know, I walked out.
It was, in fairness, really well shot, well edited, and mostly well acted, but I don't care how high budget your horrorcore cuck porn is, I'm not interested.
Pokemon Conquistador
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There's no way you could remake Labyrinth or set another movie in that universe in this day and age without turning it into some kind of grimdark, rated R re-imagining. The muppets were a huge part of keeping the original from getting too dark, adult, or inappropriate. I highly doubt today's filmmakers will have the restraint to not showcase the main underage female character's sexual awakening, front and center. It will be Poor Things , only instead of being loosely based on Frankenstein, it'll be based on kiddie 80s fantasy movies.
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@Cantercoin , @Cherry Eyed Hamster , @Commander X , @he who has thus come/gone , @FieldPiece , @Clown College 2nd Year, @Banana Nut Muffin :
Just watched Nosferatu. Man, that was a really disturbing watch, but not disturbing in a scary or creepy way, but in a very depressing way.
I always believe that movies these days needed an antagonist that was a monster that enjoys being evil, and not an anti-hero or some misunderstood being. I think God answered those wishes “too well.” I really despised Orlok. When Orlok took down the ship sailors one by one, I felt a certain thrill and horror that Orlok now has pretty much control over a ship that is now a husk of itself. Then when Wisborg popped up and the ship was heading there, that really felt like an “oh shit” moment.
Orlok soon sent his plague rats that killed many people of Wisborg, heightening the stakes. What made me so bitter was when Orlok goes after the Hardings. The biggest holy shit moment was when Orlok just threw away the deceased Harding daughters after consuming their blood like as if they were meat; it made me be filled with a burning hatred of this being. Finally, the climax and ending was depressing. Orlok might have died and not killed everyone in Wisborg, but I knew he had the satisfaction that he got away in the end. He cucked Thomas and took away his wife Ellen, in addition to killing so many innocent people.
Man, never has there been a character that I straight up despise like Orlok. Bill Skarsgård was master-tier for playing such a demon and I gotta salute him training with an opera singer to get his voice to be as low as possible. I honestly thought the film will keep Orlok’s full face hidden until the end, but I thank Blasche and Eggers did a really good job making Orlok feel so eldritch even when showing his face. I agree with Cherry though that Orlok’s death was underwhelming, which makes the film even more depressing lol.
Thomas Hutter’s adventures into and inside Orlok’s Transylvanian manor was very immersive that you felt the stakes increasing. I honestly thought Orlok killed Thomas and I felt very depressed, when it turned out he was still alive, I sighed in relief. With the very stylish 19th-century costumes, makeup, hairstyle, demeanor, and facial expressions of the film, I really cared for Hoult, Depp, Taylor-Johnson, and Corrin’s characters, of which they were all acted well, with Depp being really good. And man, seeing Ineson and Dafoe working together to defeat Orlok felt like an important crossover and reunion. The characters’ accents did feel a bit strong so I didn’t understand most of the dialogue, so the visuals played a lot in helping me understand the plot.
I think the only thing that ticked me off was a text card saying Germany, 1838, which felt redundant and a turn-off. (Thankfully, it’s in the beginning of the movie)
In all honestly, I wouldn’t want to watch the film again in a while. There were many scenes felt way too “impactful” to me, making me even more depressed lol, which shows the craft that Eggers has in making a good movie. The actors were great. The Gothic 19th century set pieces and dressing fully immerses you that you’re in Wisborg. Orlok is detestable as he should be. Nosferatu is probably the only great movie in 2024. There were like 8 fucking trailers right before the movie (which is possibly why I felt I had to use the restroom really bad), of which all the movies look like shit except 28 Years Later, and even that I’m not too invested.
Edit: Thinking more about it, I think the anti-climatic ending does feel like a big disservice to the film, because I felt that Orlok won in the end. The film's ending felt less like a tragedy and more like torture porn, hence what it is causing the depression. I heard people chuckled in the theater with the scene of Orlok's dead body on top of Ellen and then the credits roll, so I would say the ending felt weak and a cop-out for such an immersive and thrilling experience for most of the movie.
If there was one thing that could make the ending a bit more satisfying, just have Ellen fantasize lovemaking with Thomas while Orlok is raping her, denying Orlok the satisfaction that Ellen lusts for him. In addition, to take Cherry's advice, have Orlok's body burn to a crisp, and end the film with a compassionate reunion between Thomas and a dying Ellen, thus making the tragedy feel like a bittersweet victory than a near ultimate defeat.
The Lighthouse > Nosferatu = The Northman
Also, total degenerate death for anyone who fantasizes about Orlok, as if that is like the opposite of the point the film was making.
Just watched Nosferatu. Man, that was a really disturbing watch, but not disturbing in a scary or creepy way, but in a very depressing way.
I always believe that movies these days needed an antagonist that was a monster that enjoys being evil, and not an anti-hero or some misunderstood being. I think God answered those wishes “too well.” I really despised Orlok. When Orlok took down the ship sailors one by one, I felt a certain thrill and horror that Orlok now has pretty much control over a ship that is now a husk of itself. Then when Wisborg popped up and the ship was heading there, that really felt like an “oh shit” moment.
Orlok soon sent his plague rats that killed many people of Wisborg, heightening the stakes. What made me so bitter was when Orlok goes after the Hardings. The biggest holy shit moment was when Orlok just threw away the deceased Harding daughters after consuming their blood like as if they were meat; it made me be filled with a burning hatred of this being. Finally, the climax and ending was depressing. Orlok might have died and not killed everyone in Wisborg, but I knew he had the satisfaction that he got away in the end. He cucked Thomas and took away his wife Ellen, in addition to killing so many innocent people.
Man, never has there been a character that I straight up despise like Orlok. Bill Skarsgård was master-tier for playing such a demon and I gotta salute him training with an opera singer to get his voice to be as low as possible. I honestly thought the film will keep Orlok’s full face hidden until the end, but I thank Blasche and Eggers did a really good job making Orlok feel so eldritch even when showing his face. I agree with Cherry though that Orlok’s death was underwhelming, which makes the film even more depressing lol.
Thomas Hutter’s adventures into and inside Orlok’s Transylvanian manor was very immersive that you felt the stakes increasing. I honestly thought Orlok killed Thomas and I felt very depressed, when it turned out he was still alive, I sighed in relief. With the very stylish 19th-century costumes, makeup, hairstyle, demeanor, and facial expressions of the film, I really cared for Hoult, Depp, Taylor-Johnson, and Corrin’s characters, of which they were all acted well, with Depp being really good. And man, seeing Ineson and Dafoe working together to defeat Orlok felt like an important crossover and reunion. The characters’ accents did feel a bit strong so I didn’t understand most of the dialogue, so the visuals played a lot in helping me understand the plot.
I think the only thing that ticked me off was a text card saying Germany, 1838, which felt redundant and a turn-off. (Thankfully, it’s in the beginning of the movie)
In all honestly, I wouldn’t want to watch the film again in a while. There were many scenes felt way too “impactful” to me, making me even more depressed lol, which shows the craft that Eggers has in making a good movie. The actors were great. The Gothic 19th century set pieces and dressing fully immerses you that you’re in Wisborg. Orlok is detestable as he should be. Nosferatu is probably the only great movie in 2024. There were like 8 fucking trailers right before the movie (which is possibly why I felt I had to use the restroom really bad), of which all the movies look like shit except 28 Years Later, and even that I’m not too invested.
Edit: Thinking more about it, I think the anti-climatic ending does feel like a big disservice to the film, because I felt that Orlok won in the end. The film's ending felt less like a tragedy and more like torture porn, hence what it is causing the depression. I heard people chuckled in the theater with the scene of Orlok's dead body on top of Ellen and then the credits roll, so I would say the ending felt weak and a cop-out for such an immersive and thrilling experience for most of the movie.
If there was one thing that could make the ending a bit more satisfying, just have Ellen fantasize lovemaking with Thomas while Orlok is raping her, denying Orlok the satisfaction that Ellen lusts for him. In addition, to take Cherry's advice, have Orlok's body burn to a crisp, and end the film with a compassionate reunion between Thomas and a dying Ellen, thus making the tragedy feel like a bittersweet victory than a near ultimate defeat.
The Lighthouse > Nosferatu = The Northman
Also, total degenerate death for anyone who fantasizes about Orlok, as if that is like the opposite of the point the film was making.
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A cam copy is out. Going to check that out. An extended director's cut has been announced. It sucks the movie came in 3rd at the box office but hopefully it has some legs?
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@Romeo I enjoyed your write-up very much. I agree that Orlok was absolutely terrifying in this movie. A true parasite in vaguely man-shaped form.
I was wondering before I saw this film if Eggers was going to keep it like it was in the original movie, or he was just going to have Ellen die. Almost everyone has become familiarized with the concept of vampires burning in daylight, made popular by the original Nosferatu. My guess is Eggers wanted to subvert that expectation by doing the complete opposite. It’s enough of a distinction to completely separate Egger’s film from Murnau’s, and Eggers also had the privilege of pulling more influence from Dracula (which Murnau had to consistently sideskirt due to copyright and censorship, and is a reason why he had Count Orlok burn in direct sunlight instead of receiving a stake through his heart ). In a way, it felt like Eggers was attempting to do the adaptation of Nosferatu Murnau would have made if he weren’t limited by Bram Stoker’s estate.
Battlefield2142EU
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This alone proves Robert Eggers would’ve made a better Castlevaina than Netflix. Retconning Christian characters into atheists that fight demons and vampires with crosses and holy water is beyond retarded. Netflix Castlevaina retcons Carmilla into a boy-loving pedophile is still baffling. Carmilla is the only canon lesbian in the castlevaina video games series. Are these Netflix writers trying to be WOKE or something? Is being a pedophile less offensive than being an evil dyke?
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After getting over the honeymoon period, I am leaning towards that Nosferatu is Eggers' weakest film.
There were some arcs that I realize make no sense to the full scope of the story, like when Dafoe and Ineson goes on this expedition and discovers that "Orlok is Nosferatu" and "we need to sacrifice Ellen sexually to Orlok." It feels redundant the audience already knows this from the hints in the beginning of the film. The banter between them is fun, but then I realize, why are they in this movie again? I guess seeing Germany, 1838, as a text card shows a much bigger problem in the movie.
I felt all the sex scenes were just way too porn-y, with Orlok banging Ellen feeling like a BBC cuck fetish. It also doesn't make sense for Orlok to spare Mr. Harding unless Eggers want us to see some good old necrophilia sex with him and his now-dead wife.
The ending felt rushed to the point that the shot cutting to Orlok's dead body over Ellen felt laughable (I already mentioned the theater audience giggled/laughed at the ending), which is what you don't want as a reaction to an ending to a horror or gothic romance movie. Plus your reasoning, my guess on why Eggers chose the ending was that he wanted to do a "Death and the maiden" image which I understood looks jarring and "pretty." Unfortunately, how the shot was framed makes the film look less serious, and that image has already been made when we see Orlok having sloppy seconds with Ellen. For as something as terrifying as Orlok in all the scenes he was in, the ending's payoff felt dumb because Orlok looks dumb in this shot but also he won in the end. Yea, Orlok should have burned to a crisp in the most dramatic way possible.
I'm starting to feel the pacing became worse after Thomas' escape from Orlok's manor and when Orlok approaches Wisborg, unfortunately harming the suspense. The rat plague felt shoved in and I didn't care if Wisborg's citizens succumbed to it, so I don't think I ever cared about Orlok's warning to Ellen that he'll kill everyone in Wisborg in three days (I only cared about Thomas). I also realize that I did not understand most of the dialogue in this movie due to the heavy accents, and is probably why I'm starting to care less for these characters.
I think I was pretty much blinded by the immersive cinematography, music, setting, and dressing to see all the flaws of the plot, of which I really dislike the ending's payoff. I feel this film feels to me more of fantasizing about living in the gothic Regency Era or goon to necrophilia (and being cucked) and that being creeped out was an add-on.
Even though I did enjoy watching most of the film, the more I look into my dislike for the movie's ending, it made me look back into the rest of the movie. The more story flaws I noticed, I believe that Eggers dropped the ball here unfortunately. Still better than most of the trash that comes out of Hollywood.
TLDR
- Pros: 1st half of story, cinematography, music, setting, dressing, acting, Orlok
- Cons: 2nd half of story, rushed ending, worsening pacing, dialogue, too horny
The Lighthouse > The Northman > Nosferatu
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ChampFantana
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Where do you rank The Witch?
Not having seen Nosferatu yet, my ranking is currently The Northman>The Witch>The Lighthouse.
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I haven't seen The Witch so that is why I did not include the film in the list. I saw some spoilers that pretty much screwed myself so I am waiting until I forget the movie existed or watch the film with friends. If I had to predict your ranking if you did watch Nosferatu, it would be this: The Northman > The Witch > Nosferatu > The Lighthouse.
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Flatline
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I realize that this movie came out late in the year for ~*awards season*~, but dropping it on Christmas when families want to see family-friendly movies is quite the risk.
I'm very interested in this movie, but I didn't want to see it on Christmas. Personally, I only want to watch festive and happy things during Christmas.
I'm also going to be very busy in the upcoming months, so I'll probably check this out when it's available at home. Feel free to give me some of the blame for the box office, lol.
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Releasing it against multiple kid movies was a risk that I don't know if it paid off or not. It made 50 million globally but apparently the budget was 50 million so... It most likely bombed or underperformed.
As for the movie: it's good. But it's the same Dracula story that we've seen a million times. So, if you haven't seen a ton of Dracula movies already this might be refreshing. But for me I would take the Herzog Nosferatu or the Coppola Dracula over this.
As for the movie: it's good. But it's the same Dracula story that we've seen a million times. So, if you haven't seen a ton of Dracula movies already this might be refreshing. But for me I would take the Herzog Nosferatu or the Coppola Dracula over this.