Careercow Robert Pelloni / Bob's Game / The nD

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Like so many other cows, Bob never got that no one gave a shit about him, or that the accomplishments he was so proud of we're overshadowed by those of other artists, who weren't total pissants.

 

[WWWWolf]

"This is the original Nintendo GBA / DS homebrew code, which has been ported to PC using SDL and OpenGL. Because it was originally written for GBA, ported to DS, and then ported to PC (with a complex wrapper system over all the DS graphics code), by now the code is very hacked up and hard to work with."

I don't know anything at all about coding video games, but that sounds very....um...clusterfucky?

Yes, clusterfucky. Generally, you want only one layer of abstraction between your game code and the platform you're working on (for example, you might choose to write your game to use SDL library, which in turn handles the operating-system-dependant operations while you only need to worry about the game code). Usually, only people who do ports of existing games stick in gratuitous emulation layers (for example, people tend to whine just a little bit when the Linux versions of Humble Bundle games use winelib instead of having a totally native port, because that means it's not strictly speaking a 100% Linux port, it's a Windows game whose Windows-dependant parts have been miraculously made to run on Linux.)

"This is the heart of "bob's game" and is essentially a custom alternative version of "RPG Maker" written in Java, which can be released and made open source so that others can create their own games- but this would take a lot of cleanup of the code to make it user friendly. Only I know all the hotkeys and bugs, and I would have to write documentation and provide tutorials as well."

So the core of his game is a non-user friendly "RPG Maker"? Why wouldn't I just use "RPG Maker" instead?

I guess the big interesting part of that is the open-source promise. RPG Maker is commercial software and since the source code isn't available even for licensors you can't really dive into its guts (even when it's pretty flexible as is). Also, it only runs on Windows while Java runs damn everywhere.

That said, people are already working on open-source RPG Maker -esque engines, so I'm not really all that sure what this brings to the table.

Pretty sure the bedroom coders of the 80's and early 90's on their Spectrums, Amigas, and Atari ST's would disagree with you there Bob.

There's also a game called Banished that was released on PC earlier this year that was made by one person, a guy called Luke Hodorowicz. It's a town building sim type game and worth checking out.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banished_(video_game)

Oh, and let's not forget most other indie game developers. I'm particularly in awe over Jason Rohrer who tends to get brilliant game ideas all the time and stay within reasonable develoment timeframes.

 

[Protoman]

the fact that he's so focused on the game being made by one person (the title, the fact that the tag line is "a game made by one person," etc.) sort of speaks volumes about the amount of narcissism in this guy's head. I have to wonder whether or not he'll have a huge mental breakdown if 1. he's legit and 2. this thing fails

 

[Smutley]

I'd like to start this post by first saying that I really do like indie games, and small development teams. Some of the most exciting and refreshing games I've ever played have been from small teams, indie groups, or single developers. Look at Dwarf Fortress, which simulates hairy fucks at near the cellular level while offering fluid mechanics for lava, water, blood, spit, and vomit (if they are at sufficient enough depths to require simulating). Check out the boringly named Meridian: New World for an entirely new modern RTS game developed by a single dude. Hell, check out Gone Home, which hack "Game Journalists" tried to convince people turned "gaming on it's head" by being a FPS that you don't shoot muslims or aliens or anything ever actually - it wasn't a game changer, but for people who like mood and story and art design over twitch mechanics it's really good!

Then you have Bob.

Bob, the diva developer who brought Kotaku such wonderous page hits that they just kept reporting on his stupid antics. Now mind you, as far as I know the examples below are some of the only references to this time available. He keeps re-writing and changing and revising his webpage, so much of this information is lost to the winds. We just have hacks like Owen Good braying about it "being in [Reggie's] court" so they can attempt to drum up discussion. That doesn't distract from the reality of the situation: Robert Pelloni is an untalented huckster who refuses to join society and get a real job.

Bob "staged a protest" against Nintendo by "locking himself in a room for 100 days". Let's look at what he had to say about this! What are Bob's reasons for locking himself in a fart closet to huff his own farts?

I met with Nintendo in February- almost a YEAR ago- to ask for the SDK.
I did teleconferencing. I flew to GDC and had a face-to-face meeting.
I asked the WarioWorld division, and they sent me to marketing.
I talked to marketing, and they said apply with WarioWorld division!
The agreement on the application states I will receive a decision in 6-8 weeks. It has been 17 weeks!
I fulfill all the requirements- I'm a financially stable registered company with a FEIN working from a commercial address.
When Nintendo decides to approve my developer license application I will end my protest

Mind you, if memory serves, at the time this went live he was living in his Uncle's shotgun house to work on this. Financially stable commercial addresses is a huge stretch for what he was actually doing. And please don't forget that most people realize if they "haven't heard something" from an application they submitted 17 weeks prior, that probably means they didn't get the fucking job. But it's okay, since Bob has no experience with work, with working in general, with jobs, with running a company, with development, with coding, with leasing office space, or with anything. He's had 15,000 hours of development time put in his egostroke project, doncha know!

So he's shunned. Nintendo doesn't want him. Reggie refuses to talk to him. He won't get an SDK because he's created a shitty game for the wrong hardware with no marketing appeal and refuses to let people play or see it. What's gonna happen in his fart closet protest?

I cannot leave this viridian room. The door is locked and barricaded from the outside.
I am sleeping behind the camera, and yes- I've got a shower. Food is delivered once a week by a friend.
I have no internet access, television, or game consoles besides those I am developing on.
I can receive and send email on my Android G1, so I can get Nintendo's reply and update my site with tether.
The LED counter will be incremented once a day, and sometimes it will display hints and secret messages.

Because nothing says, "hamfisted protest" like "secret messages and hints" displayed in an LCD ticker. There's no WAY this could be an abortion of an attempt at viral marketing through an ARG that no one cared about! Luckily he didn't have to do anything drastic for attent-

lel. He "trashed his room" and broke everything, and then some nerds on reddit called his sister who called the cops who busted in to find him perfectly fine and upset that he was caught being a naughty sperg unsupervised.

Nintendo didn't even acknowledge him, and no one the world over gave a shit. What's a diva to do? Well, why not let him explain it himself!

Spoiler: Bob, Defender of Righteousness

It was foolish of me to think Nintendo would hear my pleas. They're just another heartless corporation, only interested in the biggest profits. The core gamers don't matter anymore. It's not about the games or the fans, it's about spreading out and getting casual gamers to buy Wii Fit. The golden days of video games are long gone. A game like mine has no place on the shelf along with games like "Crossword Puzzles" and "Sudoku."

Nintendo sells all these games about "doing your best" and "being the hero," telling kids "you can do it if you try," but in the end that's just a story, a marketing lie that sounds good. That's business. That's the real world. In reality, if Link approached the castle gate, a guard would just throw him out. It doesn't matter how much courage he has. It doesn't matter how talented he is with his sword, or how pure hearted he might be. He's wearing a dirty tunic and he has no credentials. "Get out of here, you stupid kid." The evil kingdom of Ganon (Or should I say "Gantendo") spreads across the land, Zelda dies, and the credits scroll. Game over. That's the real Nintendo, I guess.

[repeated first two paragraphs excised]

I've had enough. I'm ending the protest. I give up on getting the SDK. I really tried my best. Show's over. It's just not going to work. Sorry, everyone. I just can't stay in here. My head won't stop pounding. I feel like I'm losing my mind. It's like I'm splitting in half. I keep seeing these posts that I apparently wrote, but I can't remember writing them. I'm afraid I'm becoming someone else entirely.

Nobody even takes me seriously anymore- how is Nintendo supposed to? Everyone thinks it's some kind of viral ad. It's obviously not. I'm one guy that can't get a break. Don't you think that maybe I might get a little angry being locked in here for a month with no response? So maybe I have to joke around a little to cheer myself up. Big deal. I'll stay locked in for the rest of today to make an even 30 days, and then the protest is over. I know I lost. I've been completely disgraced and humiliated. I've been stepped on, pushed around, and trampled from all sides. It's like trying to fight a machine with words, with an army mocking you the whole time.

It's OK, Nintendo. I'm trying not to blame you, I really am. It's just.. man, I was stupid to believe that stuff.
"Be a hero! You can do it!" Yeah, right. "Throw away five years of your life." I guess that doesn't sell as well, huh?

My head hurts, so I'm ending this post. Sorry, everybody. Whatever. Why does this HURT so much?P

And now we have today. Where a pissy little bitch still refuses to grow up and get a job, and is still trying to pitch his game that no one wanted or cared about. A Kickstarter Project with a 10k limit and 45 days to meet it, that hasn't even hit the halfway point at nearly halfway to go. This is going to continue, forever, until Bob eventually dies because he's determined to make money from it, even if it costs him everything he has to do it.

 

[wheat pasta]

I'd also like to point out this guy is fucking crazy. Seriously.

life itself is a trip. Everything around us is a hallucination of sorts. We are animals, creatures made of energy, acting out a divine pattern on a stage. We have created a zoo for ourselves, or an amusement park, which is simply our nest. The Human Ant Farm.
We babble strange bibble-bobble incantations at each other and hypnotize each other in communication. We are always tripping one way or the other. Eat me, Drink me. We are psychotic monkeys, God vessels, trying to keep our balance. We are just energy beings pushing away from gravity, trying to stand up the highest. We alter each other's brain states like turning a key.

 

[José Mourinho]

$2,759 pledged (out of $10,000) with 22 days to go. Good luck with that.

<$10,000 - I will give up on "bob's game," go back to Michigan, get a job at Best Buy, get my GED at night school, and go to community college. I will work my way up to a degree in computer science and get a job at a video game studio, where I may someday work on my dream game idea: "bob's game."

 

[c-no]

$2,759 pledged (out of $10,000) with 22 days to go. Good luck with that.

<$10,000 - I will give up on "bob's game," go back to Michigan, get a job at Best Buy, get my GED at night school, and go to community college. I will work my way up to a degree in computer science and get a job at a video game studio, where I may someday work on my dream game idea: "bob's game."

Consider these other ones:


$50,000 - I will develop the Official 'bob's game' Arcade Game, both hardware and software,and make them available for sale to your local arcade or home - making the'bob's game' Interdimensional Championship possible in real life!

$150,000 - I will host the First Interdimensional "bob's game" Championship in a convention center, eventually recurring regularly with regional, national, and global tournament events!

$300,000 - I will hire a team to produce a 3D remake (using Unity3D or Unreal 4) of"bob's game" as a first person adventure, compatible with the Oculus Rift.

Good luck with that Kickstarter, Robert. It's not like <$10,000 will be the most likely result. Even if he only obtains the <$10,000, I kinda have this feeling he might not do this.

I've been reading a tl;dr tract from this.
http://bobsgame.com/
Apparently, he mentions Jesus and Buddha doing their thing for 40 days. Somehow I feel he might compare himself to them. He even mentions Jesus being a wizard and that Apple is run by a guy who is like a sorcerer.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

The bob's game corporation will develop the successor to the nD

Uh, bob... in order to make a successor, you need to make the original first.

I will develop the Official 'bob's game' Arcade Game, both hardware and software,and make them available for sale to your local arcade or home

I'm thinking such a project, done well, would cost well over $50k. And why the hell would anyone play an RPG in an arcade?

I'm going to release constant live progress so that people understand where the project is.

Out of everything he's written, THIS is the part I'm least likely to believe.

This guy is batshit crazy. He may also be working with Joe Cracker.

 

[c-no]

I'm thinking such a project, done well, would cost well over $50k. And why the hell would anyone play an RPG in an arcade?

Trying to think about that, I can only guess he thinks people would want to own an arcade cabinet. Really, one would ask him if it needs quarters in order to be played.

 

[Poison_Ivy]

$2,759 pledged (out of $10,000) with 22 days to go. Good luck with that.

<$10,000 - I will give up on "bob's game," go back to Michigan, get a job at Best Buy, get my GED at night school, and go to community college. I will work my way up to a degree in computer science and get a job at a video game studio, where I may someday work on my dream game idea: "bob's game."

Do not send this crazy back to my home state!! We have enough crazy people as it is!

 

[Xarpho]

he never completed high school?

 

[Surtur]

Uh, bob... in order to make a successor, you need to make the original first.



I'm thinking such a project, done well, would cost well over $50k. And why the hell would anyone play an RPG in an arcade?


Out of everything he's written, THIS is the part I'm least likely to believe.

This guy is batshit crazy. He may also be working with Joe Cracker.

If this is true, this is amazing.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

If this is true, this is amazing.

Nah, I was just making a smartass comment based on the fact that it's obvious Bob has never done ANY fact-checking with anyone in the industry, and is pretty much pulling prices and features out of fantasyland.

Sorry to get your hopes up.

 

[c-no]

he never completed high school?

Well, the homepage of his game has a tl;dr biography of him so it could mention that.

 

[Surtur]

Nah, I was just making a smartass comment based on the fact that it's obvious Bob has never done ANY fact-checking with anyone in the industry, and is pretty much pulling prices and features out of fantasyland.

Sorry to get your hopes up.

Troll.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Welp. This won't go nowhere good.

 

[Smutley]

Martijn Ham about 4 hours ago
Either someone got really generous or bob decided to take on the extra 5500$ that was missing himself? Wat

Creator bobsgame about 3 hours ago
Thank you to everyone who pledged, you are all fantastic and I couldn't be more grateful for the opportunity to continue working on this game. For those who are wondering, it made it on the last day thanks to a very generous backer who has been following the project from the beginning.

Martijn Ham about 3 hours ago
That explains the jump to 10k$. Congrats on making it man! Hope you get to build a good hacker van.

I'd bet that his GENEROUS BACKER is one or more sock puppets putting money on the same credit card either he or his doofus uncle took out to make sure he "succeeds" and doesn't embarrass himself again.

His narcissism and lack of reality coupled with the enabling nature of the internet and his family doesn't even make him funny - it makes him a boorish leach who fakes chimp outs for attention. Anyway, here's some unasked for data I pieced together instead of working. Remember - up until the 11th hour, Bob had only raised
$4,678. I don't want to cast aspersions, but something seems rotten in the state of Georgia:

Spoiler: Raw Data

Date    Pledge    Backers    Average
4/23/14     $228.00     11     $20.73
4/24/14     $1,227.00     64     $19.17
4/25/14     $480.00     19     $25.26
4/26/14     $221.00     7     $31.57
4/27/14     $98.00     7     $14.00
4/28/14     $225.00     2     $112.50
4/29/14     $145.00     7     $20.71
4/30/14     $95.00     5     $19.00
5/1/14     $(21.00)    -1     $21.00
5/2/14     $444.00     4     $111.00
5/3/14     $-       0     $-
5/4/14     $65.00     4     $16.25
5/5/14     $80.00     4     $20.00
5/6/14     $85.00     5     $17.00
5/7/14     $136.00     6     $22.67
5/8/14     $60.00     3     $20.00
5/9/14     $100.00     5     $20.00
5/10/14     $40.00     2     $20.00
5/11/14     $-       0     $-
5/12/14     $(40.00)    0     $-
5/13/14     $121.00     6     $20.17
5/14/14     $82.00     4     $20.50
5/15/14     $107.00     6     $17.83
5/16/14     $100.00     5     $20.00
5/17/14     $-       0     $-
5/18/14     $100.00     5     $20.00
5/19/14     $62.00     4     $15.50
5/20/14     $21.00     1     $21.00
5/21/14     $127.00     9     $14.11
5/22/14     $5,671.00     11     $515.55
5/23/14     $290.00     18     $16.11
FUNDED     $10,349.00     223     $46.41

 

[wheat pasta]

SPOILER: It's his parents.

 

[butt in trouble]

Ok so I just checked his website out of boredom. Was it hacked? Or has he really gone off the deep end by now? This section seems to be more recent and I'm at a loss for words.

Spoiler

Well, I forgot I wrote that. Time to start over. I wonder if I'll Become Jesus for Easter?

I really need to add more pictures to this. I've got a lot more details to edit in. I wonder if I'll ever do it? Maybe I could just leave it like this. It doesn't really matter!

Here's the juicy stuff:

- I had sex with some transgendered ladies when I first came to the Bay Area. It was a little bit strange but fun, though I feel guilty about it now since I couldn't offer a relationship. Then my parents gave me a comic I drew when I was really young about a "cool guy" wearing a dress riding a skateboard. I'm pretty sure I know what I meant by it: Someone who doesn't care what anyone else thinks is cool. They can do anything!

- I put on a dress in the basement when I was really young, and then my parents removed it, so they must have known that I wasn't fitting into the traditional male gender role.

- I almost molested my friend when I was in elementary school, after getting molested by a different friend after watching porno on long distance AOL. He told his parents and I never talked to him again. It's a shame, he had Super Metroid at his house.

- I tried to get my friend's dog to lick peanut butter off my dick once in junior high, and then got scared it would bite it so I backed out. (Like the TempleOS guy! He's awesome and he truly does have divine intellect.)

- I stole a digital camera (one of the first ones) from (I think) Montgomery Wards by just ripping it off the display and walking out when I was 15ish. I got caught shoplifting awful hentai videos (La Blue Girl!) from FYE in the mall when I was 14 or 15. FYE is demonic and totally deserves it.

- I remembered that I cheated on one paper in high school, an essay for English class I really didn't want to write. I just found one online and turned it in. I wish I hadn't done that. I tried to cheat again one other time during a test but I got caught before I actually had passed any information.

- I had the unfortunate compulsion to shove things up my bum at times and I tried to get boned by a couple of guys before. I was always terrified and stopped right away, and when I did succeed it hurt and I hated it, but I did it again anyway. Maybe my Mom made me do it with that t-shirt, or maybe it was self-inflicted revenge for having anal sex with two of my girlfriends. It must have hurt and it makes me wish I was dead.

- I listened to a bunch of "erotic hypnosis" stuff which was maybe the most horrible idea ever. It is definitely a demon and I think it caused a lot of the above. It seems really harmless because it is just audio, but I think it caused the most damage and it was really hard to stop. It also got me to try and spread it to other people. It was spread to me by someone!

http://bobsgame.com/

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Wow, Bob is starting to show proto-Wizard/predator qualities, in addition to his jillion other mental problems.