But here it was, a girl in a sari. she had a little glass thing dancing in her hand, and some weird circus behind her, but that didn’t matter, surely. Just window dressing for the indian theros we were going to get. And look at all the consultants listed on the credits sheet, and all of the effort that went into creating the single character of Kaya. Heck, they even spoke to an expert about getting the details right. Kaladesh was going to be amazing, rich, and nuanced with Indian texture run through a magic lens. The artifacts thing was awesome, because it had been awesome in Origins, and Shawn Main was the designer, and he makes my favorite sets.
My favorite designer, running one of my favorite themes, through my culture? I didn’t know how badly I wanted this until then. I had no idea how all of the patching over that void of never belonging had built up and calloused until it was all torn away, knowing that it was coming, finally. I’d waited so long, and now i’d finally be a part of the game i loved so much.
I’d waited so, so long.
And i was totally wrong. Turns out it was the geegaw in her hand that mattered, and all that weird circus stuff in the background. That she was brown like my mom and in a gorgeous blue sari like my wife’s favorite? window dressing.
Over the PAX weekend, that wound i’d torn open was poked and prodded and filled with salt and vinegar and burned and burned and burned. My head spun as i sat through panel after panel talking about cars and energy and dwarves and elves.
dwarves! elves! literally the most tolkien scandinavian of folkloric creatures! and cars and gremlins and all of this other nonsense wrapped in pinks and purples right out of the Watchowski’s Speed Runner film. It was amazing. But it was not indian. Not even close.
I couldn’t believe it. What the hell even was this. There were people with indian names, coloration, hairstyles. The buildings were all weird mughal architecture that had been splattered with a million colors, as if the artist had seen one picture of the Taj Mahal and the movie Aladdin, and then decided to spray paint them together.
It was an amazing anime, but it was not Indian. Or even india. All of those buildings and clothing styles were persian, not indian. And over and over I was told “We didn’t want to offend anyone. We didn’t want to step on real beliefs, or real cultural influences, or do anything to make anyone mad.” So no four armed vedalken or elephant headed loxodon or gods. Fine. But then they kept going. No snakes. No monkeys. No rakshasas, no indian birds, no cultural markers of any kind at all. Literally just the skin.
But wait, isn’t that the representation you wanted? look! they look like you, and hell one of them even has your surname! it’s totally indian, dude, stop looking for something wrong, or something to hate, and enjoy this set quietly.
No, it is not what i wanted. Not what i’ve waited my whole life for. This isn’t me, or my people, or anything to do with me.
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