The fanfic writing really brings me back to the first book. It's very generic rhythm to the pacing and descriptions. It is night. Sun was facing three people (Brown, Pink and Green). They stalk lady. They wear this, this and this. There's no flair, no style, no characterization no sense of emotive images from this description. Best way to describe the difference between this and a engaging description is like two artists drawing the same picture. One just draws the static image, it's an accurate representation of the picture, but there's no motion, no weight, nothing to it. Just straight lines connecting with no change in the brush size. The other artist adds some more dynimic lines, they change in weight, they give a sense of motion, personality and life.
Sun is cold because he's wearing an open shirt in the cold night. Isn't his aura supposed to keep him warm?
Sun assumes the brown Pig Masked man is a faunus because... He's aware of his environment? Which Sun also mentions everyone in Vacuo learns?
New addition to Sun's semblance, he has to 'center' himself with the image of a desert willow. A tree that makes him feel peaceful and shit.
We go into a flashback of Seven Year old Sun and his cousin Starr Sanzang explaining that their clan are fucking idiots. They're in constant danger of Girmm attacks and have to fight the harsh conditions of Vacuo day to day... But only most of the clan don't know how to fight. In the last book, didn't an old lady make the point that everyone in Vacuo was able to fight somewhat?
He finds the tree of peace, but it turns out it was probably a mirage or something.
"It had led him to discovering his Semblance, Via Sun." That's all the explanation we get, just vaguely saying that, somehow,seeing a tree that was very peaceful made him split up into multiple shadow clones.
Back to the present, more exposition about how his semblance works. The clones are made out of aura, he can make more than two, they require a lot of concentration to lose, thus he has a hard time using them in fights and they aren't that durable.
Fight scene is as boring and bland as you'd expect. A lot of checklist descriptions.
Pink has the ability to become incorporeal.
Sun is surprised that he's having a hard time hitting the Faunus, Brown, when the description literally says that Sun is 'lazily' swinging his weapon.
I feel like this scene of Sun getting his ass kicked is here because the author didn't like people celebrating how kick ass Sun was in fight scenes.
Annnd Sun is saved by Velvet. Oh, I see now. CFVY get to open their book kciking ass and getting praise heeped upon them, but Sun gets kicked into the dirt and saved by a CFVY. They don't even let his own damn team save him?
Forced banter about them spitting generic quips.
"You got lucky, Monkeyboy!"
"No, YOU got lucky!"
Expert dialouge there.
The criminals gas our heroes and Sun realizes they weren't wearing gas masks for show. Either Green's semblance is smelling bad or he's a skunk faunus.
Team CFVY, not able to consider that someone might be stronger than them, assume that their opponents being able to take their hits was because of some sort of cheat or somthing.
CFVY are considered the best of the best, even in Shade, the academy that's more merciless ad dangerous than any other academy.
The rest of Sun's team are pissed at Sun for leaving them to help Blake for so long. He innermonolouges about them needing to get over it. Didn't the start of volume six show Sun returning to his team specifically because he realized he fucked up? Why is he now unrepetent and annoyed about it?
Team CFVY are still looking for 'The Crown', the mysterious employer of two 'rouge' Huntsman from the previous book. Huntsman are glorified mercs, how can they be rouge?
Gus Caspian, also from the previous book, has the semblance to amplify negative emotions to such a point that Grimm could be summoned to destroy entire settlements. Velvet's worried that the Crown might try and kidnap him.
Velvet goes on about Sun having a powerful semblance, when he really doesn't. He makes shitty clones, it ain't that powerful.
The writing makes it look like Sun only ran away to get on Blake's good side and not because he thought she was about to take on the White Fang alone.
Sun gets lectured about ebing a better leader. ANd the Vacuo police are incompotent morons who couldn't do anything without Huntsman and Headmaster Theodore.
Sun reiterates that, yes, Vacuo hasa survive on your own deal, but for some reason every settlement we see in vacuo seems to not follow that. Same thing happened in the last book too.
The City of Vacuop is mostly a bunch of alley ways with no thought or planning.
The layout apparently makes it hard to invade (even though before this it was mentioned how Grimm and bad weather were easily tearing apart the outer perimiter), to which Yatsuhashi rightly points out: why would anyone invade Vacuo? Sun gets pissy, but doesn't offer up why this shit show of a reigon would be valuable to anyone. He doesn't know about the vault or relics, so that doesn't count.
It's been a few months since the opening of volume 6, so this book probably takes place roughly around volume 7.
Sun has a very blatant and unnatural inner thought about how he suddenly feels guilty, that he's been distant from his team, that he needs to get them back on their feet and yada yada. Why write natural and engaging character stuff when you can just loudly tell the audience exactly what your character is goign through?
Sun says that team SSSN will help hunt down the Crown.
And that was the prolouge... Not a good start.
