im actively rooting for this game to fail
"A reboot like no other"
You mean a reboot in a long-running franchise that pretty much loses what gained it a fanbase in the first place? A reboot that all of a sudden, because it's 202X has to immediately reverse what gave the series charm for all of those years because "things are different now"? A reboot in a storied series that alienates 90% of the original fanbase in favor of pandering to a bunch of Zoomers with the attention span of a fucking fruit fly? That also panders to "games journalists" and obnoxious danger hairs with too much metal in their face who won't fucking buy or play the game anyway? Unsurprisingly the subreddit went from "this sucks" to deep-throating that trailer.
Because that's been done to death here recently. Nothing new or unique about that, sadly it seems to be the way the industry is heading. Let's not forget that Saints Row didn't really land with too big of a splash in the first place. The first two games were great, but ultimately the series is more of a "cult-following" type of franchise. That changed somewhat with Saints Row the Third, it developed some mass-market appeal then, but most people still derided the series as a GTA ripoff. The first Saints Row was one of the very first games I got for my [then] new Xbox 360 and while people called it a ripoff, I found that it certainly wasn't a "GTA beater" it had its' own appeal, it technically competed in the same bracket as GTA because it was an open-world sandbox about street crime and gangs, but it had enough to stand out. That distinction furthered with Saints Row 2. At that point, we didn't like it because it was "like GTA' but because despite all of its' flaws these games did enough to set themselves apart.
Saints Row 3 was still a great game and entertaining as fuck, but we all noticed that it was going perhaps a bit too far into the "whacky-zany-hijinks" category. Saints Row 1 & 2 had humor, and their own "whacky" moments, but the plots were still primarily gritty and serious. Plus the fact that all of these "futuristic weapons" got thrown into the mix with SR3, that wasn't much of a bother though because GTA V wasn't out yet and people weren't yet tired of that gimmick. Then SR4 comes out and it's more or less a comedy game. I watched playthroughs of it but didn't buy it because I wasn't fucking interested in that. That isn't what I wanted from the series and I don't think most other long-time fans wanted it either. Who the fuck really wanted aliens and superpowers? The superpower DLC for SR3 was fun because it was a bit of a departure, but it was only for a few missions and that was it, it didn't fundamentally change the whole structure/style of the gameplay. In SR4, there's no reason at all to even drive a car, or customize a car, when you can just speed-sprint and superjump over fucking skyscrapers.
Now it seems like they've gone in that same direction with the "reboot like no other", but also added a bunch of shitty characters with no charisma or presence, total fucking nobodies. "Futuristic weapons" were fun in SR3 but at this point they're played out. Everyone's played GTA online and they're sick and tired of all of this hoverbike orbital cannon bullshit, or at least it's a common sentiment. If people want to fly around on a rocket bike or a jetpack or blow shit up with an orbital cannon they can do that in GTAV or online, what people really wanted from a new SR entry was a return to the "street warfare/gang/urban" environment, which at this point you REALLY can't fucking get anywhere else. If you want to be a supervillain with a submarine and a yacht and a bunker full of rocket bikes you can play GTA Online, the former? Well you're stuck replaying old SR entries or San Andreas then, tough shit I guess. The whacky, zany hijinks shit continues except now it probably won't even be funny in the irreverent way that earlier SR entries were, they won't be able to make any jokes that might step on someone's toes and cause the fat girls/troons on Twitter to get fussy. I'd imagine snarky rejoinders will be the only real "humor" in this entry.
And I would genuinely be shocked if they didn't jampack some Current Year political dogshit in there too, they haven't quite done that yet but I'm sure it's on the way.
Anyway, my point is, you'd have to be fucking BLIND or paying absolutely zero attention to anywhere fans of this series congregate to fuck up this bad and be this tone-deaf. Largely from what I've seen people wanted a return to the roots of the series, with better graphics and more cool shit to do. Most of us would've settled for something more in the vein of SR3 anyway if you really wanted to be "lol random" and have the player run around with a giant purple dick. Most people didn't want the superman vs aliens in virtual reality shit or whatever the fuck this is, and they could've easily retconned SRIV as a movie or some shit and given us that.
But instead we get more whacky-zany-crazy-lol-so-random shit with giant beam cannons and a dash of Current Year, with a cast of characters that look like they'd be more at home in a fucking Starbucks in Portland, Oregon, not doing drive-bys. I don't know if they're scared that a "gang warfare" game would "negatively affect the black community" or what the fuck. There's diversity and there's "diversity", this is the latter. All the Saints Row games had characters of all sorts, nobody gave a shit because they were written well and the dialogue/voice-acting was good. Nobody wants to play a game and get lectured by some bull-dyke with problem glasses that's probably a free-bleeder and doesn't wear deodorant on her hairy ass armpits.
I guess I forgot, this is a new decade, the 2020's. The decade where all of the fun and joy and humor has to be sucked out of absolutely fucking everything because all of these things are "rooted in white supremacist patriarchy" or some gay bullshit. The world is going to shit and it seems like most of the time you can't even escape clown world via entertainment anymore. I guess there's still drugs if you want to escape this hellish dystopia for a couple hours, but good luck finding a game to play or a worthwhile fucking movie to watch.
P.S - the nerdy black guy archetype is fucking tired and played out. All I can think of when I see those characters is Carlton from Fresh Prince.
I'll decide if I dress gay! NOT YOU!
