Say something autistic

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Dark Ritual is one of the best black cards you can have for a Magic deck. For just one black Mana, you get a net positive of three black Mana. It's an instant card so you can play it anytime, anywhere. I mean, you play one swamp, then play Dark Ritual, you can bring out a decent creature on turn one before your opponent even has a chance to act! Imagine if you had a playset of Dark Ritual cards! Four of them in your hand, plus a swamp, plus Phage the Untouchable! Play that swamp, then spam all the Dark Rituals for a total net positive of 8 Mana on turn one! Win!

Oh sorry, you mentioned it's pretty dark out tonight and I got carried away. Have you ever played Magic the Gathering?
 
Are you interested in scaring children? It's one of my favourite pastimes. If you've seen my profile, you'll know that I'm rattled and you'll have noticed my fleshy flesh. I hope this won't be a problem for you?

Looking through your photos, you look very decaying and extremely cold. I particularly like your sharp ribs.

You're not breathing though, are you? I don't think so. But from your profile, I can't quite be sure. I'm really not after somebody breathing, so please put me out of my misery.

Let me tell you a funny story that happened to me today. I took my hellhound, Shuck to the vet and said, "My hellhound is cross-eyed... is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So, he picked Shuck up and examined his eyes, then took his temperature."

Eventually, he said "I'm going to have to put him down."

Naturally, I was horried. "You're going to put him down just because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."
 
PL 001 said:
Dark Ritual is one of the best black cards you can have for a Magic deck. For just one black Mana, you get a net positive of three black Mana. It's an instant card so you can play it anytime, anywhere. I mean, you play one swamp, then play Dark Ritual, you can bring out a decent creature on turn one before your opponent even has a chance to act! Imagine if you had a playset of Dark Ritual cards! Four of them in your hand, plus a swamp, plus Phage the Untouchable! Play that swamp, then spam all the Dark Rituals for a total net positive of 8 Mana on turn one! Win!

Oh sorry, you mentioned it's pretty dark out tonight and I got carried away. Have you ever played Magic the Gathering?
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Pfft, you call that being autistic about Magic?

It's technically a net positive of TWO mana each, that's why you get a net positive of EIGHT mana, which you got correctly later. What the hell, you can't even math.

You didn't even mention which card art of Dark Ritual you liked best; of course, it's OBVIOUSLY the Ice age one, although the flavor text from Mercadian Masques is the best, although the flavor text from Mirage is another good one.

Also, who summons Phage with four Dark Rits, you Timmy. All your opponent needs is a chump blocker, not like she has haste or anything. And yeah, the creature dies, but if you're making token creatures, who cares? Also cheap creature removal is a thing, just Unsummon. Or Pacify. Army of the damned is better versatility there. Hell, you go first and cast Phage, I could do a Leyline of the Void, Swamp, THREE Dark Rituals, Brood of Cockroaches, Deathgreeter, and Grave Pact. Come at me.

But if you really want to screw over your opponent beyond the point of recovery, it'll take three turns. Swamp on turn one. Then on turn two, Fetid Heath, and cast Painter's Servant, choosing White. Turn three; The four Dark Rituals, dump one of the black into the Fetid Heath for two white, then Gloom (Gloom's Oracle text was changed to make this work) and Enchanted Evening. Bam, it now costs three mana to tap your lands. Or activate anything. Now just wait for them to scoop or deck themselves.

I actually played against a deck that did this. I hate it.
 
I bought over five pounds of fried chicken and chicken nuggets. If you want, you can come over and have chicken nuggets with me and play nintendo.
 
Book Thievery said:
Oh boy, can we play Smash? By the way, I can't wait until they put Sora and Waluigi into Smash. That would be the best day of my life.
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I want to suck Waluigi"s feet so fucking badly, just looking at them sends me into a frenzied state. I would dox my own mother for him, fuck that bitch.
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Can I commission a Krystal fox waifu pillow?




(bonus points because aspie flurries always call her Krystal fox even though her name officially is just Krystal. Which makes no sense since every other character in starfox has a proper surname)
 
Imagine Alexandria Ocasio Cortex's feet sweat when she's out there standing for 2+ hours giving speeches. I just wanna bottle it up and drink it! I'm so voting for her.
 
I really need McNuggets right now. Chicken is zero points on Weight Watchers, so this is a free food. I need 🍗 or else I’m going to get 😡 . Becky needs to stop being such a Karen and give me the food now. I DON’T CARE IF YOUR TIRED BECKY!!! YOU GET PLENTY OF SLEEP ALREADY. GIVE ME THE CHICKEN 🍗 OR ELSE YOU DON’T GET TO COLOR 🎨. I’M USING EMOJIS BECAUSE UR 2 STUPID TO UNDERSTAND ME OTHERWISE!!!!!!
 
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