Second baby

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Clem Fandango

Clem Fandango

Can you hear me?
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 30, 2017
This might not be the most original thread idea, but I genuinely would like some feedback on having a second baby. Background is, we're married for almost ten years, we have one son, my wife has lately been pestering me to have another child. I'm 37, my wife is 38.

My initial reaction is that I don't want to. The last couple of years have been tiring, and it seems like our son is just now starting to sleep through the night. I don't really want to go through all the hassle all over again.

On the other hand, I can see that our son is now getting kinda interesting in terms of his own personality starting to come through. Plus my wife and I were both second children so wouldn't exist of our parents had the same opinion as me.

Eta:.
First child is 2 and a half, if that makes any difference.
 
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Just start a new family entirely like a true American patriot.
 
eatler said:
Got the cash to keep them fed and taken care of?
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Yeah, I guess I should have specified. Cash is fine, they'll be firmly upper-middle class.

I may as well say the country is the UK rather than the US, but please don't flood the thread with "die britfag" posts. I'm well aware of our cursed nature so just reply based on the other factors if you can please.
 
Clem Fandango said:
Yeah, I guess I should have specified. Cash is fine, they'll be firmly upper-middle class.

I may as well say the country is the UK rather than the US, but please don't flood the thread with "die britfag" posts. I'm well aware of our cursed nature so just reply based on the other factors if you can please.
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I'd say do the thing that you feel is right. The benefit of having a second kid is having someone to trudge the world with when things get shitty. There is a lot of things that I was happy with my sister being around with and I was happy to influence her too.

On the other hand having kids will arguably be the hardest job you will have in your life. teen age/20s can be even worse so if you cant give the energy to expend on them both then I would not recommend having two. Its sometimes hard to have to care for two people especially if each one thinks differently.

"I'm serious I don't want want to do the whole newborn shit all over again. My wife is trying to persuade me on this."

also this sounds fucked up but you may want to evaluate the relationship you both have. It sucks but it could end things in the future (not to add that pressure). "Is this primarily just to make your wife happy" "Is there any benefits for the future for me" "will I be able to live with myself with either or answer"
 
Clem Fandango said:
Can you elaborate? Because my honest answer is no, but is it really that weird?


I'm serious I don't want want to do the whole newborn shit all over again. My wife is trying to persuade me on this.
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I’ll elaborate, but before I do: did you and your wife talk about how many children you’d each like to have before getting married or starting a family?
 
Clem Fandango said:
Can you elaborate? Because my honest answer is no, but is it really that weird?


I'm serious I don't want want to do the whole newborn shit all over again. My wife is trying to persuade me on this.
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growing up as an only child is a very lonely experience at times
 
eatler said:
also this sounds fucked up but you may want to evaluate the relationship you both have. It sucks but it could end things in the future (not to add that pressure). "Is this primarily just to make your wife happy" "Is there any benefits for the future for me" "will I be able to live with myself with either or answer"
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Nah don't take it too seriously. Everything is going good otherwise but this has been a thing for a couple years now. I thought it'd gone away but she mentioned it tonight again so I thought I'd post it here.

My honest first reaaction: if she keeps going after it, what the fuck am I going to go? Not have sex? That doesn't even seem realistic - am I going to run off every time or what?

The reason I'm posting the thread is if I think I should have a mature conversation about how I just dont want to go down this path.

If you don't understand that these things come up in relationships from time to time, then this might not be the thread for you. Thats all I'll say.
 
If it's only the newborn part you don't want to do and otherwise you think having a second kid would be good idea for everyone, just suck it up and get through it. It's a short period of time in the grand scheme of things.

My kids are close in age and they're older now, and I'm so glad they'll have each other when I'm dead. I guess not all siblings end up close, but watching mine carry on together really makes every minute of sleep deprivation worth it.
 
All I will say is that if you don’t do it now, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life. You’re about 40% done with your life so you might as well get the hard “child rearing” parts of your life done early. After that you’re going to be the happiest you’ve ever been, and that feeling is going to carry you for years. Trust.

PS: do your part to save the white race.
 
Clem Fandango said:
This might not be the most original thread idea, but I genuinely would like some feedback on having a second baby. Background is, we're married for almost ten years, we have one son, my wife has lately been pestering me to have another child. I'm 37, my wife is 38.
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It's just baby rabies because her biological alarm clock is about to go off and her eggs will terminally dry up. Honestly, speaking from a strictly biological perspective, you're both too old. You odds of having a kid that is retarded or an autist are sky high. You don't want to end up in that situation.

Get a puppy instead.
 
Honestly it's now or never for you. I'd advise against having a second kid at any later point due to high risk of the tism given your age. That said having a sibling close to your age is a huge blessing for any child in my opinion. After it grows up a little bit and you don't need to change diapers and take 24/7 care of its entire existence, raising 2 kids shouldn't be that much harder than raising 1.

No matter how you decide tho, hope you and your family are doing well.
 
Magical Negro said:
Honestly, speaking from a strictly biological perspective, you're both too old. You odds of having a kid that is retarded or an autist are sky high.
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no they arent you dumb retard
they do increase with age, but that increase is from extremely super tiny to just regular super tiny. like, 1% at 20 to 2% at 40 or something like that, that's the order of magnitude of this stuff. completely irrelevant for personal decisions like this.
 
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