Semicolon;

[Tubular Monkey]

I'll keep this simple. Why so many goddamn semicolons?

 

[CatParty]

Re: ;

honor roll?

 

[Judge Holden]

Re: ;

I bet chris likes a semi up his colon

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Re: ;

They say ; is the most homoerotic of the punctuation marks, so again, Chris is trying to come out as gay but doesn't know how.

 

[LM 697]

Re: ;

; is actually a horizontal representation of two nipples, one of which has been pierced - a common sign of a gay man like Chris.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Re: ;

Smart people use sentences that require semicolons. But I digress.

 

[Male]

Re: ;

Well why does Chris capitalize various words?
I believe it all has something to do with his failure to understand the difference between oral and text communication

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Re: ;

Autism.

 

[CatParty]

Re: ;

maybe he puts the semicolon in when he himself pauses as he is writing.

 

[Judge Holden]

Re: ;

; is actually a horizontal representation of two nipples, one of which has been pierced - a common sign of a gay man like Chris.

Either that or a diagram of chris's pickle at flacid (.) and erect (,)

 

[CatParty]

Re: ;

; is actually a horizontal representation of two nipples, one of which has been pierced - a common sign of a gay man like Chris.

Either that or a diagram of chris's pickle at flacid (.) and erect (,)

or the bent duck entering a man's mouth

 

[Francis York Morgan]

Re: ;

Smart people use sentences that require semicolons. But I digress.

This is probably it. Chris (mis)uses a lot of words and expressions in an attempt to appear smarter.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Re: ;

maybe he puts the semicolon in when he himself pauses as he is writing.

This is my theory as well.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Re: ;

maybe he puts the semicolon in when he himself pauses as he is writing.

In that case, why so few goddamn semicolons?

 

[Null]

Re: ;

Few reasons.
1. Chris doesn't understand what the actual application of the semicolon is.
2. Chris uses them liberally to emulate human speech (or at least, how he'd speak.
3. Semicolons aren't used often and make you look smart.

Imagine every time he uses semicolons as a short verbal pause in speech. That's where he places them.

Human: “Peter dictates to his computer. He prefers it to typing, and particularly prefers it to pen and paper.”
Chris: "Peter Dictates to his Computer; He prefers it to Typing; and Particularly prefers it to Pen and Paper."

When he has completed an entire thought (not just one sentence, an entire string of ideas) he'll use a period. This is a full deep breath moment for him if he were talking, where he'd be completely silent for a second or more.

Also:
[youtube]M94ii6MVilw[/youtube]

 

[exball]

Re: ;

The answer is Chris is bad at English and therefore, not American. Proving Chris is a filthy Muslim terrorist and was involved on 9/11 I believe he should jump to the top of Parkourdude91's hater hitlist.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I think the reason he fucks up so many things like language is that he starts learning a bit about how it works, then makes erroneous assumptions while learning like everyone does, but unlike everyone else he refuses to be corrected. When you were a kid you probably didn't know what a semicolon was until you were told how to use it right, but don't try that on Chris.

 

[CWCissey]

Re: ;

The answer is Chris is bad at English and therefore, not American.

Oh I don't know, lots of Americans are absolutely terrible at English...

 

[Male]

what I do know is that chris has a semi-colon
get it because he's always having dirty crapped briefs

 

[Descent]

Chris reminds me of Rimmer from Red Dwarf when he was dictating his thoughts to the Scutters:

After intensive investigation, comma, of the markings on the alien pod, comma, it has become clear, comma, to me, comma, that we are dealing, comma, with a species of awesome intellect, colon.