Semicolon;

[tobacky_vapor]

His use of it reminds me of an episode of spongebob where spongebob and Patrick learn about curse words and think it's a sentence enhancer. He then proceeds to use it whenever he wants to sound fancy and intelligent, even though he users it like expect OPL to use it, like an idiot.

 

[4Macie]

Chris isn't a smart man. He's been to college and he STILL writes his sighs, he still spells it seinor and sophomore as sofmore/sophmore/sophamore (you'd think the red squiggles under the word would tell him something isn't spelled right), and he spells common, every day words wrong all the time in his facebook posts. I get that you can spell stuff wrong once in a while, but this is EVERY SINGLE TIME he uses that word. His grammar is also horrid as is his use of punctuations. He tries to use words (like naive) thinking that using them makes him smart, but what happens is that people realize he doesn't know what they mean and it makes him look like the special man-child he is.

 

[Foulmouth]

; mayb:e it;s because ; ; chr;s is ;; kinda; fuck;d up ;

 

[Holdek]

I'm not sure, but I think the people connecting it to his homosexuality are probably on to something.

 

[Pikonic]

Pretty sure it's because ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

He might think it makes him more Englishy. Only smart people use semi-colons.

Also, call me American, but what are semi colons even used for? I gotta google this shit.

Edit: I have returned from googling this shit; I found the proper use for semicolons and will share it here. (Lookie, I used one! Thanks Wikipedia)

I have an example.
There are many users of the CWCki forums who enjoy American football: including CatParty, who likes the Jets; BrooklynBalliff, who likes the Giants; The Hunter, who likes the Cowboys; and Pine Tar, who likes the Cheifs.

Also did you know semicolon use has declined greatly since the 1800s? BITCH YOU KNOW NOW!

 

[LocalFireDept]

Chris doesn't have any clue how to use semicolons; of course, no one else really does either.

EDIT: It looks to me like he uses them to separate thoughts within a sentence that aren't independent clauses. A comma wouldn't be much less awkward but probably more appropriate.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Chris doesn't have any clue how to use semicolons; of course, no one else really does either.

That's the same with me; I'm really sad to admit it though.

 

[The Dude]

Christian abuses the English language, and it's punctuation, like it we're an autistic bastard step-child.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Building on my earlier thought, I think Chris uses semi-colons to build "elaborate" sentences in order to give not only the impression of intelligence, but that of depth in his life, that he has something to say.

Consider the "broken car/q-sand" e-mail; that could have been summed up pretty quickly with "Sorry Jackie, had car trouble," but he must have thought that sounded like he led a dull and empty life. So he spelled everything out, believing he was spinning a tale of Faulknerian discontent in Ruckersville.

 

[CatParty]

Building on my earlier thought, I think Chris uses semi-colons to build "elaborate" sentences in order to give not only the impression of intelligence, but that of depth in his life, that he has something to say.

Consider the "broken car/q-sand" e-mail; that could have been summed up pretty quickly with "Sorry Jackie, had car trouble," but he must have thought that sounded like he led a dull and empty life. So he spelled everything out, believing he was spinning a tale of Faulknerian discontent in Ruckersville.

at least he abbreviated "quarter of a sandwich" or else it would have been a rambling mess

 

[Pikonic]

Chris doesn't have any clue how to use semicolons; of course, no one else really does either.

EDIT: It looks to me like he uses them to separate thoughts within a sentence that aren't independent clauses. A comma wouldn't be much less awkward but probably more appropriate.

I saw that proper semicolon use. Sneaky bastard.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

EDIT: It looks to me like he uses them to separate thoughts within a sentence that aren't independent clauses. A comma wouldn't be much less awkward but probably more appropriate.

Even Chris's clauses aren't independent.

 

[Dreamatorium]

I was taught that semicolons are only to be used in harsh breaks in sentences that are lesser than the separation of two sentences via a period but greater than that of a comma

As people have said, Chris was probably just using them when he would pause when verbalizing what he was writing in his head. Kind of like how he capitalizes the first letter of words he wants to emphasize

 

[RP 520]

I was taught that semicolons are only to be used in harsh breaks in sentences that are lesser than the separation of two sentences via a period but greater than that of a comma

As people have said, Chris was probably just using them when he would pause when verbalizing what he was writing in his head. Kind of like how he capitalizes the first letter of words he wants to emphasize

At least you were taught, my high school teacher and English comp. professor in college pretty much told us not to worry about it since its use was waning and would probably be phased out in our life times.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I was taught that semicolons are only to be used in harsh breaks in sentences that are lesser than the separation of two sentences via a period but greater than that of a comma.

Same here. I was an English major for a semester and had to take two pretty thorough grammar classes. If I find my grammar book I'll look it up.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I was taught that semicolons are only to be used in harsh breaks in sentences that are lesser than the separation of two sentences via a period but greater than that of a comma.

Same here. I was an English major for a semester and had to take two pretty thorough grammar classes. If I find my grammar book I'll look it up.

I were an English major years ago. It strikes me odd how something as fluid as language can be given such strict and stupid rules. Ask me how to make proper citations to an essay. Fuck if I know. Oh, I indented 7 spaces instead of 6? So what? Go kill yourself. As you might imagine, I'm no language snob. The last thing they'll ever teach you in those interminable classes is how to write to get your points across to people in a way that people will enjoy reading. So my problem with Farts Lazington isn't that he doesn't adhere to grammatical guidelines - it's that he doesn't have the presence of mind to write in a way that conveys his thoughts. I suppose in a way it does, in the sense that you look at a wall of his nonsense and realize he's insane.