(Serious) Advice for Chris

[navydeckink]

Start making rage videos again for advertising dollars. This is a job you could actually do, it would take zero time, and you could wind up making a sizable income without ever having left the house. You could play the manhood card with Barb, with proof-in-the-pudding income as a testament to your ability to provide for yourself, at least modestly.


As far as giving Chris advice goes, even if he were to heed your advice, it always seems to get garbled by the autism.

 

[Abhor-able]

Chris, I realize your the most talented and wholly fuckable man and a gift from God himself to women. This is all true. You are all of these things, and more! Chris, I am a 18 year old blonde with big tits who has an insatiable fetish for blowjobs.

I wont get with you until you ask for help. You need to get out there into your community and start asking for help lover. Once you do I will let you squirt your slam bangin' hormones into me every night.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I've always wondered whether or not Chris should even try to find a job at this point, when a single Google search can screw him over.

If he changed his name, even just to "Christopher Easton Chandler" or something, all that would go away. Since he doesn't have any work experience, it's not like he'd be invalidating his resume or references, so it would actually be easier for him than most people.

 

[CatParty]

I've always wondered whether or not Chris should even try to find a job at this point, when a single Google search can screw him over.

If he changed his name, even just to "Christopher Easton Chandler" or something, all that would go away. Since he doesn't have any work experience, it's not like he'd be invalidating his resume or references, so it would actually be easier for him than most people.

he did try to re-imagine himself as "carlos chantor"

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Really, I don't think a job he would qualify for would care about his internet presence. His best bet would be to find an agency that specializes in helping people with mental handicaps or people on disability get jobs.

Well, the company he got hired to work at wouldn't care until they started to get JULAYed.

 

[CatParty]

Really, I don't think a job he would qualify for would care about his internet presence. His best bet would be to find an agency that specializes in helping people with mental handicaps or people on disability get jobs.

Well, the company he got hired to work at wouldn't care until they started to get JULAYed.

i don't think he'd hold the job long enough to get julayed. he'd eff it up looooong before trolls got around to him.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Unfortunately, that's true. It's not his lolcow status that's made him unemployable, it's that, well, he's Chris.

Seriously, would you want to hire him if you were in HR?

 

[mendoza]

Unfortunately, that's true. It's not his lolcow status that's made him unemployable, it's that, well, he's Chris.

Seriously, would you want to hire him if you were in HR?

I'd hire him if I was in PR. Especially a place like Wal-Mart.

I mean what could do more to repair their (deserved) reputation as an evul corporation that shits all over its people than to hire arguably the most famous mentally handicapped man in the world and then milk it for all the mileage they can. And also put him in some department where his knowledge/skillset might actually be useful, like toys or vidya.

And obviously make sure supervisors keep a very close eye on him.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Mendoza, as cunning as your plan is, it has the potential to backfire horribly.

If you put him in the vidya or toy department, he'd want to play all day. If you didn't let him, he'd tardrage. Plus there's the threat of sexual harassment lawsuits from female employees or customers when they become the interest of his love quest.

And really, Chris isn't all that famous. Sure, he is to people who follow lolcows, but not to the general public. He's just another unemployed loser who gets harassed online.

 

[CatParty]

Mendoza, as cunning as your plan is, it has the potential to backfire horribly.

If you put him in the vidya or toy department, he'd want to play all day. If you didn't let him, he'd tardrage. Plus there's the threat of sexual harassment lawsuits from female employees or customers when they become the interest of his love quest.

And really, Chris isn't all that famous. Sure, he is to people who follow lolcows, but not to the general public. He's just another unemployed loser who gets harassed online.

plus he wouldn't want to be standing for too long.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Well, at least he'd get his daily exercise by standing.

 

[mendoza]

Mendoza, as cunning as your plan is, it has the potential to backfire horribly.

If you put him in the vidya or toy department, he'd want to play all day. If you didn't let him, he'd tardrage. Plus there's the threat of sexual harassment lawsuits from female employees or customers when they become the interest of his love quest.

And really, Chris isn't all that famous. Sure, he is to people who follow lolcows, but not to the general public. He's just another unemployed loser who gets harassed online.

plus he wouldn't want to be standing for too long.

Curses!

Foiled again!!

 

[Cole Smithey]

Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they aren't Julay.