Shit films that you want to discuss - Opposed to the film recommendations thread, I suppose

[Easton daniels]

just watched mars needs moms and I literally broke down crying at the end.
I have watched Spy kids 3:game over 8 times and I hope to never see this fucking movie again
Ok first off; the movie itself cost Disney over 130 million dollars in lost box office. which is the only thing I respect about its
plot: It's based on a book I've never read. not gonna. so I don't know if it's different from the book but basically: it starts with this kid milo being sad his dad isnt home or something so to cope this kid is a dick to his mom and says he wishes he didn't have one. she then gets kidnapped by aliens??? at like 8 pm?? in the suburbs and no one notices?? anyway, shes taken to mars along with the kid who managed to get aboard the shuttle. The shuttle fucking mass effect relays to mars and we actually begin. Im not going into full details but basically he gets launched down a trash shoot and finds this fucking neckbeard whose been hiding down there for the past im guessing 40 years? ( he says some shit about Ronald Reagan) he says hell help the kid find his mom. at this point, my memory blanks because i watched this in a fever-induced stupor at 1 am in the morning but i think this is where the female art alien comes in which looks like a racist caricature of a salarian. she says she'll help (i think?) and they do the things bla bla bla the babies come out of the ground and they find out mars kidnaps moms to put their brains into robots to take care of kids. but only the females, all the dudes get launched down to be raised by the hairy dude tribe ( what they are actually called) which are like the best part of this movie. they get milo's mom, who almost dies because she gave... i dont fucking remeber but i do rmeber that they were on the surface of mars with no jackets and just likea breathing suit. and mars is usually -70f, which is colder than anywhere on earth and theyd be freezing to death. at the where are they now part, i fucking broke down and fell out of my chair
so after that mess lets look at it:
Character design.

its... it could be better. The humans are kind of uncanny to say the least but the aliens...

moving on
Animation
Its surprisingly not as chunky as i thought, its kinda like a choice game you're not allowed to choose anything.
plot
i didnt fucking care
Theme:
dont be nice to your mom or shell be taken by aliens???

The Cats thread reminded me of a perfect film for this thread: Repo! The Genetic Opera.

A low-budget sci-fi musical about organ repossessions that sucked in Anthony Stewart Head who I guess was trying to transition from TV to movies, Alexa Vega (girl from Spy Kids) who I guess was trying to transition from kid's movies to adult ones, Paris Hilton who I guess was trying to transition to acting entirely (well, she plays a wealthy heiress so how much acting is required is another matter)... and Sarah Brightman who was, is and always will be too batshit crazy to care what she's in, she'll still give it everything she has and God bless her for it as she belts out incomprehensible numbers about holographic eyes and chasing mornings which I think is symbolism but who knows?

This is a glorious mess with terrible pacing, deeply unclear world building, an annoyingly catchy song about surgical drugs and at least half the supporting cast appear to be strippers.

I'm just going to drop the trailer here for those who've never heard of it.

ok im gonna be abosluetly honest: I love the sound track. maybe thats the fag speaking but allot of the songs are catchy. i liked the comic book styled parts of the film too. the pacing was kinda bad tho

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Also, I have this weird desire to re-watch The Crow: City of Angels.

Never saw that one myself but I did watch Good Bad Flicks' video on it. That movie is one of the reasons I hated Harvey Weinstein long before it was popular to hate him. The creators wanted to make a different movie from the first, partially to respect Brandon Lee and partially to differentiate it from the first. But then it fell into Weinstein and Miramax's hands who forced them to edit it to be a carbon copy of the first one and as a result it turned to shit.

It's such a shame because the original ideas were interesting but thanks to studio and editor interference we won't see those ideas come to fruition.

 

[Biffo]

Yeah got to agree Mars Needs Moms is such an awful movie, cost $150 million and the cgi looked awful in many place, and it wasn't just because the creepiness like past ImageMovers Digital movies such as The Polar Express or A Christmas Carol which have aged badly but on a tec level looked good at the time, Mars Need Moms just looked like low quality.

Here are some facts, it was directed Simon Wells who's past work as director were An American Tail: Fievel Goes West, We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story, Balto and The Prince of Egypt, however only co director on all of them but Balto and Mars Needs Moms. Also because this movie was such a flopped it killed the planned Yellow Submarine remake.

The Adventures of Tintin came out the same year and also was a mocapped animated movie yet looked so much better, also cost $15 million less to make. Some pic to compare

Mean while Mars Need Moms

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

It depresses me that the Tintin movie never got a sequel, and the property isn't popular enough to warrant a belated one.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Never saw that one myself but I did watch Good Bad Flicks' video on it. That movie is one of the reasons I hated Harvey Weinstein long before it was popular to hate him. The creators wanted to make a different movie from the first, partially to respect Brandon Lee and partially to differentiate it from the first. But then it fell into Weinstein and Miramax's hands who forced them to edit it to be a carbon copy of the first one and as a result it turned to shit.

It's such a shame because the original ideas were interesting but thanks to studio and editor interference we won't see those ideas come to fruition.

The Weinstein's fucked with tons of movies. But as-is I do enjoy City of Angels still.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

I've never seen the sequels to the Crow, have you seen the third? For whatever reason I keep mentally merging the Crow series with Darkman, due to the time period, 90s edge, and three entries thing. The first Darkman is fine some good/bad stuff too.

 

[Bumwine]

The first Darkman is a good B-movie with alot of late '80s/early '90s Raimi cheese on it,not to mention Larry Drake hamming with gusto as Durant

The Nights of Terror is probably one of my favorites Italian zombie flick: between the softcore scenes,the gore,the dwarf acting as a kid,a zombie trowing knives like a ninja and THAT scene it's one of the most memorable good/bad movies I've ever seen

 

[toilet_rainbow]

It depresses me that the Tintin movie never got a sequel, and the property isn't popular enough to warrant a belated one.

There was going to be a sequel based on Prisoners of the Sun (and I suppose Seven Crystal Balls since that starts that album’s plot; John Hurt was also rumored to be cast as Professor Calculus), but between the poor box office return and Peter Jackson focusing on the Hobbit movies, it quickly fell into development hell. Pretty sure it’s cancelled now.

I wasn’t a big fan of the movie, to be honest. It was okay at best. If anything, I appreciated that Tintin finally got a big enough fandom that Moulinsart didn’t sic their lawyers on anyone that wrote or drew even the most innocent thing. Even if there was a lot of the expected Tintin/Mary Sue shit from teenage girls that found Tintin sexy, whatever. Many of the old parodies are far worse.

The movie did look great for mocap, however. I’ll give it that. Keep forgetting that Weta did it since ImageMovers is “mocap” like Disney is “cartoons” to most people.

 

[Biffo]

There was going to be a sequel based on Prisoners of the Sun (and I suppose Seven Crystal Balls since that starts that album’s plot; John Hurt was also rumored to be cast as Professor Calculus), but between the poor box office return and Peter Jackson focusing on the Hobbit movies, it quickly fell into development hell. Pretty sure it’s cancelled now.

I wasn’t a big fan of the movie, to be honest. It was okay at best. If anything, I appreciated that Tintin finally got a big enough fandom that Moulinsart didn’t sic their lawyers on anyone that wrote or drew even the most innocent thing. Even if there was a lot of the expected Tintin/Mary Sue shit from teenage girls that found Tintin sexy, whatever. Many of the old parodies are far worse.

The movie did look great for mocap, however. I’ll give it that. Keep forgetting that Weta did it since ImageMovers is “mocap” like Disney is “cartoons” to most people.

Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg keep talking about it with the last update being march 2018, so never been canceled yet but no idea what the hold up is.

Steven Spielberg Says ‘Tintin 2’ Is Still Happening

'The Adventures of Tintin' director Steven Spielberg gives an update on the sequel, saying 'Tintin 2' is not dead yet and is still happening, with Peter Jackson intending to direct.

collider.com

Honestly rather see that then Indiana Jones 5 with nearly 80 year old Harrison Ford.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Yeah got to agree Mars Needs Moms is such an awful movie, cost $150 million and the cgi looked awful in many place, and it wasn't just because the creepiness like past ImageMovers Digital movies such as The Polar Express or A Christmas Carol which have aged badly but on a tec level looked good at the time, Mars Need Moms just looked like low quality.

Here are some facts, it was directed Simon Wells who's past work as director were An American Tail: Fievel Goes West, We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story, Balto and The Prince of Egypt, however only co director on all of them but Balto and Mars Needs Moms. Also because this movie was such a flopped it killed the planned Yellow Submarine remake.

The Adventures of Tintin came out the same year and also was a mocapped animated movie yet looked so much better, also cost $15 million less to make. Some pic to compare

Mean while Mars Need Moms

Question: Why did they CG-animate the TinTin movie? It looks like something that could have been done as a live action movie with CG inserted. (I suppose the fact that the main character is a boy and any live actor would age out of the role would be a factor, but still. There are plenty of long-running movie series with the same child actor reprising the role over several years... )

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

I assume Spielberg required a sufficiently inflated budget to justify his super important presence.

 

[Biffo]

Question: Why did they CG-animate the TinTin movie? It looks like something that could have been done as a live action movie with CG inserted. (I suppose the fact that the main character is a boy and any live actor would age out of the role would be a factor, but still. There are plenty of long-running movie series with the same child actor reprising the role over several years... )

Some of the action would have looked weird in live action, plus outside Tintin many of the characters do look cartoony.
But the movie did start off as a live action movie in the 80's however due to other projects and time he was unable to do it, then came 2001 were it was planned as a dreamwork animated movie but that plan also fell through and it became a live action movie again, he asked Peter Jackson about his studio doing the cgi for Snowy the dog however Peter Jackson convinced him to make it a fully Mo-capped movie as he thought it would do better justice to the comics.

Another fun fact James Cameron was present during the test footage shoot in 2006 before he started filming Avatar.

 

[Overly Serious]

Vamp. U.

A thousand year old vampire who can't extend his teeth works as a history professor at a university and finds a new girl in his class finally provokes his fangs to extend. Other characters refer to his non-functional fangs as "vampire impotence" just in case there's someone out there watching this film for whom the metaphor is too subtle (unlikely). It has zero budget and actually resorted to a kickstarter to get the $15,000 it needed to get made. The script is perfunctory, the humour direct to put it mildly. Its one saving grace is that the cast recognize what sort of movie they are in and just go with the flow. There's no pretension to be anything more than a zero budget, hammy piece of fun.

It's all complete nonsense but I hope everyone involved is somehow able to leverage their part in it into something more in the future. Pure adolescent claptrap. It's 99p to rent on Amazon and currently somehow has a rating of 4.5 stars so they'll maybe make their money back at least.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

I've been torturing myself with Jess Franco stuff, and I think Vampyros Lesbos might be the best intro if you have an interest. The extended sex-theatre thing at the beginning is alarming, but the rest is pretty solid artsploitation and less of a waste of your time than might be expected. If you prefer women in prison, Tropical Inferno is also one of his less agonising creations.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I've been torturing myself with Jess Franco stuff, and I think Vampyros Lesbos might be the best intro if you have an interest. The extended sex-theatre thing at the beginning is alarming, but the rest is pretty solid artsploitation and less of a waste of your time than might be expected. If you prefer women in prison, Tropical Inferno is also one of his less agonising creations.

View attachment 1256232 View attachment 1256233 View attachment 1256234
View attachment 1256235 View attachment 1256236 View attachment 1256237
View attachment 1256238 View attachment 1256239 View attachment 1256240

I think this is his masterpiece.

 

[Michael Jacks0n]

Some of the action would have looked weird in live action, plus outside Tintin many of the characters do look cartoony.
But the movie did start off as a live action movie in the 80's however due to other projects and time he was unable to do it, then came 2001 were it was planned as a dreamwork animated movie but that plan also fell through and it became a live action movie again, he asked Peter Jackson about his studio doing the cgi for Snowy the dog however Peter Jackson convinced him to make it a fully Mo-capped movie as he thought it would do better justice to the comics.

Another fun fact James Cameron was present during the test footage shoot in 2006 before he started filming Avatar.

The Tintin movie fiasco kind of pissed me off on a personal level, because when I was like 12, I was a huge fan of the English-translation versions of Herge's graphic novels. I was like the only kid in my school who enjoyed Tintin, so it sucks that they ruined one of my obscure favorite IPs by bastardizing it for normalfags.

 

[Guts Gets Some]

Why is Fateful Findings by Neil Breen, one of his most popular movies?

I love his films generally, but that one almost broke me. I don't think I've ever been more bored by a film in my entire life. Minutes felt like days.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Why is Fateful Findings by Neil Breen, one of his most popular movies?

I love his films generally, but that one almost broke me. I don't think I've ever been more bored by a film in my entire life. Minutes felt like days.

It's probably the first one they were exposed to, as it was the one made right before Neil Breen became an internet icon.

 

[jethro]

I'm glad this animation style of realistic human skin and hair stretched over 3D cartoon puppets didn't sustain, it's horrifying to look at. Like reshaped, reanimated corpses.

 

[Sex Cannon Lupa]

The Weinstein's fucked with tons of movies. But as-is I do enjoy City of Angels still.

It's a beautiful-looking movie. Even though they cut a lot out and the action is a lot more subtle, I still really like it.

Remember when Rob Zombie was going to direct it and it was going to take place in the future?