@sephon
I'm gonna give it to you blunt, many members here think you're being too harsh on yourself and you should really consider stop calling yourself deformed and refuse to change. It is one thing to you not to conform to a high standards that men have, but its another thing to be spiteful and hating yourself for not conforming to it.
You're being condescending to yourself and you've developed an abusive relationship to yourself and it's only going to get deeper if you let it take hold of you and be your identity. Self-loathing and refusal to change is a killer in
any relationship, amorous or otherwise.
I'm pretty sure you've got a good personality and interests, based on all the women you've talked to in the past (based on your screenshots, if legit) - but you're so set in looking your best and proving yourself right you've become blind sighted to other important things in relationships, you're keening over approval of your how much sex appeal you have and how masculine you are that you've become a self-hating, self-centred asshole. By associating with these people and listening/agreeing to them you've become even more of a toxic person that no one wants to be around with.