So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game company...

[PvtRichardCranium]

http://www.indiedb.com/company/phallic-entertainment

We've currently got almost all of the details for our first Unity (Maybe UDK) game, Into The Rift ironed out (it's an adventure FPS about a biker who fights aliens on a distant planet and all that good shit). Unfortunately we still need a team. That's where you nerds come in.

What we need:
Voice Actors
Coders
Mappers
Modelers

What we DON'T need:
Writers
Texture mappers
Music Artists
No edukashun
Mormon Missionaries showing up at our door and acting like dicks when we answer the door in our underwear.

QA:
Q: Will I get paid?
A: It depends on what your credentials are. If we sell the game, then yes, you will get some of the profits regardless. You might be payed to work depending on your credentials. Worked on a famous mod in the past 5 years? We'll try our best to pay you. Just decided to take up mapping for shits and giggles? Wait until the sales come in.

Q: Do you expect this game to sell very well?
A: It's a hyperviolent First Person Shooter that plays like a mix of Far Cry 3, Crysis and Doom/Quake that has a techno metal soundtrack and constant references to dicks and tits and all that good shit. Oh yeah, and the company is called Phallic Entertainment. The short answer? We don't know, but probably not. The long answer? People are getting tired of games like Call Of Duty and other similar modern military shooters. Ditto games like Killzone and Halo. Throwback shooters are getting more and more popular and it's a good time to get into the no longer over saturated market.

Q: Can I add Anime/Furry/Brony influences into the modeling/mapping plox?
A: No. Hell no. Fuck no. We have a demographic. That demographic is tough grizzled manly men with beards and leather jackets, not otaku, foxloving horsefuckers.

Q: Why Phallic Entertainment?
A: Why not?

Q: Do you enjoy being dominated sexually, like by women with strapons or men if you're a homo?
A: This one time when I was really drunk and shit...

Q: I have a great idea for the game. Can you implement it?
A: Not likely, although it's possible. Basically, if you have something that's really awesome and/or you blow me we'll implement it.

The future of gaming is Phallic.

 

[Himawari]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

You... established a development studio without even netting a programmer?

 

[exball]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

All I ask for is a gun that shoots sharks.

 

[PvtRichardCranium]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

You... established a development studio without even netting a programmer?

We've got a guy, he's just experienced with certain things. We need guys for other things too.

 

[exball]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

You... established a development studio without even netting a programmer?

PROGRAMMERS ARE EXPENSIVE!

 

[The Hunter]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

No

 

[Foulmouth]

Re: So me and some gays on Steam started a Video Game compan

http://www.indiedb.com/company/phallic-entertainment

Q: Can I add Anime/Furry/Brony influences into the modeling/mapping plox?
A: No. Hell no. Fuck no. We have a demographic. That demographic is tough grizzled manly men with beards and leather jackets, not otaku, foxloving horsefuckers.

Q: Why Phallic Entertainment?
A: Why not?

Q: Do you enjoy being dominated sexually, like by women with strapons or men if you're a homo?
A: This one time when I was really drunk and shit...

The future of gaming is Phallic.

Soooo , You hope to corner the market in gay biker vidya ?

 

[PvtRichardCranium]

Re: So me and some gays on Steam started a Video Game compan

http://www.indiedb.com/company/phallic-entertainment

Q: Can I add Anime/Furry/Brony influences into the modeling/mapping plox?
A: No. Hell no. Fuck no. We have a demographic. That demographic is tough grizzled manly men with beards and leather jackets, not otaku, foxloving horsefuckers.

Q: Why Phallic Entertainment?
A: Why not?

Q: Do you enjoy being dominated sexually, like by women with strapons or men if you're a homo?
A: This one time when I was really drunk and shit...

The future of gaming is Phallic.

Soooo , You hope to corner the market in gay biker vidya ?

Yes.

 

[Surtur]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

Can my beard be in the game?

 

[exball]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

Can my beard be in the game?

I want your beard to star in the game.

 

[c-no]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

I'm just gonna ask: Can animu, ponies, and furries be added in but for the purpose of the player to RIP AND TEAR said furrys, animu's, and ponies? After all, what better way to have a manly action than to take something your demographic doesn't like and make it likeable in their eyes which involves destroying what they hate. As for this game, if your market is gay biker vidya, is there going to be a hard-gay reference?

 

[PvtRichardCranium]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

I'm just gonna ask: Can animu, ponies, and furries be added in but for the purpose of the player to RIP AND TEAR said furrys, animu's, and ponies? After all, what better way to have a manly action than to take something your demographic doesn't like and make it likeable in their eyes which involves destroying what they hate. As for this game, if your market is gay biker vidya, is there going to be a hard-gay reference?

I was gonna have like an Emo/Hardcore band be some of the people you brutally murder but I decided against adding it because that would mean I'd have to write a shitty hardcore song and we'd have to animate some fags hardcore dancing. The last thing we want our modeler to have to go through is modeling furries and ponies. There is a reference to bronies and how much they suck though in the dialogue though.

 

[c-no]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

I'm just gonna ask: Can animu, ponies, and furries be added in but for the purpose of the player to RIP AND TEAR said furrys, animu's, and ponies? After all, what better way to have a manly action than to take something your demographic doesn't like and make it likeable in their eyes which involves destroying what they hate. As for this game, if your market is gay biker vidya, is there going to be a hard-gay reference?

I was gonna have like an Emo/Hardcore band be some of the people you brutally murder but I decided against adding it because that would mean I'd have to write a shitty hardcore song and we'd have to animate some fags hardcore dancing. The last thing we want our modeler to have to go through is modeling furries and ponies. There is a reference to bronies and how much they suck though in the dialogue though.

Well okay then, if its a reference, make it one regarding how bronies act, especially with how you once mentioned a brony calling a moderator by a homophobic slur or with how bronies sperg over their favorite pony getting a name change.

 

[Smokedaddy]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

Get thine technology in order before ye startest on ye gameplay.

Every game engine ever, without exception, comes with trade-offs. Unity gives you a degree of cross-platform compatibility, do you know what it takes away in exchange?

 

[Surtur]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

Your mortal soul?

 

[c-no]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

Get thine technology in order before ye startest on ye gameplay.

Every game engine ever, without exception, comes with trade-offs. Unity gives you a degree of cross-platform compatibility, do you know what it takes away in exchange?

How could I forget to mention the fact that Smokedaddy, the guy worked for small shops along with other shops like Midway and EA, could give advice. As Smokedaddy said, know the trade-offs the game engine you use.

 

[Screaming Llama]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

I have a background in acting, if you really need voice talent. I'm no Tara Strong, but I can do a wide variety of voices to suit your needs.

 

[Hyperion]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

It's a shame you don't need security. Then again you probably couldn't afford me.

$35 an hour starting, and you provide me with a sidearm and the fees to carry it. If you don't like it, fuck directly off. It's not like I'm Army trained Infantry or anything, or God forbid a combat veteran.

Actually disregard. I'd just end up sticking a gun in your mouth and robbing you.

 

[Watcher]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

Don't write out a long elaborate story and don't plan something big out before you implement it.

It's extremely likely only maybe 40% of all of your ideas are going to be implemented, and that's a very conservative estimate. It's likely going to be much, much lower. Due to demands of stuff like budget, time, and talent.

I've worked on an indie game project and the reason why I left it was due to this problem. We had very few programmers and no animators. So progress slowed to a screeching halt and our designers planned far too much out. Eventually the heads of the project decided to reboot the project's development for the third time. I left and now I more or less understand why modders are expected to do 60% of the work themselves before getting a team at all interested.

Also get good with team management and keep your project as small as physically possible. If you only require 3 guys, have 3 guys. Too many cooks spoils the broth and everyone will want a say in what happens in the project, to the point you'll eventually start working against the majority.

The Nameless Mod took 7 years to be completed and that was a mod for a game that already had an engine, assets and a full SDK to work with. Unless you have lots of budget be prepared and try to bare in mind the odds are against you.

 

[Smokedaddy]

Re: So me and some guys on Steam started a Video Game compan

Also get good with team management and keep your project as small as physically possible. If you only require 3 guys, have 3 guys.

^This.

The only way an (actual) indie group can pull it off is to be lean an' mean.