Soyjak.Party / The Sharty - The altchan born from the ashes of /qa/; also a containment thread

Hyperjumper, creator of chudbob squarepants and Christendom.exe is making a total nigger death edit.
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"Boyfriends Dick" Incident​

Nikocado posted this to his Instagram on an unknown date:
I JUST FUCKING POOPED ON MY NEW BOYFRIENDS DICK!!!! IT WAS TOO BIG THAT IT MADE MUKBANG FOOD COME OUT.....Should I tell y'all the story in tonight's video and do you wanna see the poop? I haven't cleaned it yet cuz I get out of breath.
Click to expand...
While innocuous at the time, his post to Instagram was indicative of not only his growing depravity, but also his escalating genius. Internet historians suggest it may have been a greater work than the Bible. An in-depth analysis is required to truly understand the enigma of his post.

Detailed explanation​

>I JUST FUCKING POOPED
We start his post with a vividly illustrated scene of Cado's conundrum. Nikocado Avocado's pure anguish is expressed in just 4 powerful words, putting poets like Shakespeare to shame. All that time. All those mukbangs. All that sex with Orlin. His whole life led up to this one moment; shitting on his new boyfriends dick. He is fully aware that his asshole is ruined. This is the fate he chose. There is no turning back.
>ON MY NEW BOYFRIENDS DICK!!!!
The most important thing to realize about this quote is that it presupposes that the reader is familiar with the fact that Nikocado Avocado has a boyfriend, and an unstable relationship with him at that. In Nikocado Avocado's award-winning videos, the duo constantly fight, break up, and get back together. It was only soon that Nikocado would cheat on him for a better man.
>IT WAS TOO BIG THAT IT MADE MUKBANG FOOD COME OUT.....
The dynamic between Nikocado and Orlin is further explored. Orlins dick is indirectly characterized as small, setting the prerequisite for Nikocado looking for a new boyfriend. In a Sophocles-esque twist, the dick is too large for Nikocado. He cannot take it anymore, and it tears open his anus. This would later go on to foreshadow his later shitscapades and eventually, his own demise.
>Should I tell y'all the story in tonight's video and do you wanna see the poop?
Nikocado, seeking greater financial opportunities, wishes to monetize his own shit like a true businessman. Even with an estimated net worth of $4 Million, he ultimately desires more, revealing his gluttony in more aspects than one. He asks the viewers if they want to see the poop. This is actually a bold and highly-advanced incorporation of Fan Service, as since many Nikocado viewers have a feeder fetish, it is likely they also have a Fire Noodle fetish.
>I haven't cleaned it yet cuz I get out of breath.
One of the hallmark symptoms of heart failure includes shortness of breath and fatigue. The rot has already set in. His anorectal health would soon deteriorate further. There would be no end to the ass stinging. It will soon be over for him.
 
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