emray's Accusations
As some people may or may not be aware, emray has come out with serious accusations about me. These accusations led to her filing for a temporary restraining order on grounds of domestic violence; because she legally counted as a tenant in the house that is legally under my name only, I was removed from the house for the latter half of September. This order came with a court date to determine if the order should stand or if it should be removed and stricken from the record.
The court case finished on Monday, and it was ruled in my favor. I have stayed silent since mid-September under the guidance of legal counsel so my words could not possibly be twisted. I never had plans to make a big post about this, rather I was going to say something simplistic and short and move on. However, I feel like my hand has been forced by emray’s public posts. While I've been publicly quiet, I've been privately cooperating with investigators the entire time, both legally and with frequent contractors like GDQ and Colosseum. All relevant information, both publicly and privately, has been forwarded and documented.
Let me start by being crystal clear: I was never abusive in this relationship. We brought out the worst, most toxic traits out of each other; between emray’s desire to be understood in ways that were difficult and my frustrations from being constantly interrupted and not given a chance to speak, it was always going to be a recipe for fire. I raised my voice and would get too caught up in frequent arguments. We just never communicated properly and healthily. She did record arguments we had towards the end of the relationship, but she would only record and share arguments where I was overwhelmed and unable to rein in my own emotions. Her recordings were unfortunately me being manipulated; she’s even admitted in her own document that she intentionally tried tricking me in order to get these recordings.
We’ve both wanted out of the relationship for years at this point, and none of us felt confident enough to follow through; she felt she was trapped in some way, and I was constantly reminded by her in almost every argument that “if you don’t like me anymore, I will be homeless! I have nobody, Steven!”, so I felt guilty for even thinking about following through with a breakup. Quite a few people have witnessed this guilting and manipulation, and have had talks with me telling me I need to get out before she twists this into a nuclear, scorched earth attempt at bringing another person/community down. Look at her history within multiple communities and with multiple people and you’ll see this same pattern. Unfortunately, I was dragged into a lot of this too and have received the brunt of her reckless posting. I’ll try my best to go through what I’ve been shown of this document from others, since I personally don’t have access to it.
emray has mentioned a ghost, but refuses to elaborate further on who this ghost is, or what dating this ghost constitutes. I want to establish first that I am not here to judge anybody’s beliefs, but this ghost and constantly being compared to them harmed our relationship. This ghost is a fictional character from the Death Note series. Screenshot and video will be at the end of this paragraph, but she truly believes she is communicating with this ghost through a virtual spiritbox, and she truly believes that when she “meditates”, she can manipulate the world and communicate with other people in some void-like state. This video will come up again later, and is related to the story where she alleges that I berated her about spilling a drink on a friend’s purse after a concert we attended. In this legally recorded video, she is constantly yelling, claims that I should treat her like a god/goddess, and mentions this ghost by name. Again, let me be clear: I am not here to judge anybody’s beliefs. Believe in ghosts, believe in God, believe in nothing, just be a good person and it doesn’t matter. Admittedly, in this recording I did at one point say this ghost didn’t exist. The fact of the matter is, this ghost situation caused additional harm to the relationship and the relationships of others. Her attachment to this ghost and her constant comparing me to this ghost built up an irreparable distance between us.
Important Timestamps: Claiming to be a goddess (4:17), her ghost (6:41), admitting the name of the ghost and how only he supports her (7:33), demands to be treated like a goddess (10:15), wants to be treated like a god (10:51), demands to never be told anything negative (11:3
Video:
[Editor's note: ignore the frame counter. The original file is somehow 6.9 GB and this is the best I could do with compressing the file. It's still like 88 MB .
Screenshot:
emray had reached out to an ex-partner, Bridget, under false pretenses to gather information for her case in an attempt to show patterns of abuse. Bridget did reply, and the reply makes me look pretty bad, but there’s context missing. Bridget and I have actually since reconciled, talked about the situation, and she has gone on record saying that emray approached her as a Private Investigator, approached her knowing that she (Bridget) has a slew of mental disorders and struggles to recall things properly, that she didn’t even know what emray’s name was (emray approached her under Jesse Faul and not her legal name nor her username), that she wouldn’t have replied if she knew it was her, that she did NOT consent to emray sharing this publicly, and most importantly, that emray approached her while she was dissociating. I have a consensually recorded video call with Bridget about this, and I also have a transcript available for those who don’t want to watch. Note that Bridget has consented to allowing me to publicly share this.
Video w/ Bridget:
[Editor's note: starts at 0:20]
Text Transcript:
TRANSCRIPT of 10-15-2024 Conversation With Bridget Gabriel
CONTEXT: Steven Eisner and Bridget Gabriel dated for roughly two years, and ended their relationship around April-May of 2021, shortly before Steven Eisner and Megan Rutter started dating. Megan Rutter had reached out to Bridget Gabriel in an attempt to manipulate the situation and make Bridget say untrue things, so Steven and Bridget agreed to meet up in an online video call and have a conversation to set the record straight and uncover Megan's manipuation.
Steven Eisner (SE): Alright, this is a video recording, I'm currently talking to Bridget Gabriel. Is that correct?
Bridget Gabriel (BG): Yes.
SE: I am recording this because you were reached out to by Megan Rutter, who didn't even approach you with that name, right?
BG: That's true. At the time, I was dissociative in a traumatic episode, and under my understanding I was approached by someone named Jesse Faul.
SE: And, we do have the screenshot of what you said to her. The court has that already, so we don't need to make you go through that again, but you had talked to me and another person (George Copelin) saying that you might have misremembered, or something might have caused you to say things that you didn't mean because of the dissociative episode, so if you would like to just explain that real quick.
BG: Yes, um, so... it... for people around me, for you, for my current partner and my family, and even people on my social media, I have not really made it a secret: I have very severe PTSD. And that affects my life in a lot of ways, including like I mentioned, dissociative episodes where I won't remember what I'm doing or if something stresses me out, I might react in a way that doesn't reflect the things that are currently actually happening. I frequently misremember things when this happens, and it's well documented among my providers that sometimes I don't even recognize the people that I'm talking to in these episodes, much less remember accurately what they've done. At the point in time where this person (Megan Rutter) reached out to me, I can confidently say that I was in a dissociative episode and the fact is I do not even remember messaging her. Someone else brought it to my attention. And, it's not the first time it's caused me interpersonal issues or issues with my mental health care, or in some situations, it's also very easy to mislead me if I believe you are trying to help me, or if I believe you need my help. Because I am in a traumatic response, I tend to try to appease that person and give them what they want at that point in time. And that has also affected my life in a lot of ways. I do have diagnoses right now for Complex PTSD, Dissociative Disorder, Conversion Disorder, and an unspecificied personality disorder because of the trauma that I've been through. I would be happy to provide any information about that if you would need it because I feel terrible, because it doesn't actually reflect how I feel about Steven Eisner. And it doesn't accurately reflect what happened at that point in time either. When me and Steven broke up, my entire intentions and everything I did was try to help him have a healthy support group and have friends to lean on when I would leave. I encouraged him to have a closer relationship with his mother and his family before I left. And even Zach, the other person named in the messages, wanted to be friends with Steven again when we saw him again at The Star Bar. Initially, we did not see him with this person who he was dating at the time. And we were friendly together, we were gonna play some pool and I was very hopeful that we could possibly all be friends again at that point in time, and it hadn't been very long after the break up. I think that was probably only a few months after the break up if I'm remembering correctly.
SE: Yeah, I think it was about 6 or 7 (months), yeah.
BG: Yeah. But that was my hope is that some time would go by, Steven would be able to relax, Zach would be able to relax, I would be able to relax, and move in to a new stage in life where we could be friends, whatever that means, you know? But the only time I've ever met this person, she was outwardly hostile towards me, and she actually made Steven leave when she realized we were there after we were basically trying to throw the water under the bridge. Because for us, it was just, you know, a part of life. We were all younger. And we didn't want to have hard feelings with each other. I feel terrible, I feel like someone came to me and falsely represented themselves, and I shared a portion of my trauma that doesn't even reflect what happened between me and Steven. And that feels very violating. Those were the things you'd tell a therapist, not your (ex-)boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, who I found out only one week ago her real name was Megan. Before this point, I knew her as emray. And that's the only name I knew her by.
SE: And just to be clear, would you say that right now, you are in a clear state of mind to say all of this?
BG: I am. I am confident that I am in a clear state of mind to say all of this, and in fact, I've had conversations with my therapist and my mother very recently about it, and... one question for me is always, "Is that really what happened?" and I can go over it with people like my mom, or my therapist, or Zach, and they assured me, like, "Bridget, this is not the first time that someone has done something manipulative to you like this, when you have been in this state of mind. And it's just unlucky that you happen to have your phone on you in that dissociative episode and answered." 'Cause in my right state of mind, I probably would have never answered.
SE: And is there anything else you can think of, or is that everything?
BG: (long pause) I think that... if I could, I would like to have that account that I gave to that person who also... not only did she come to me as Jesse Faul, but she also claimed in the conversation that she was a former Private Investigator, and... it's just very... I feel like it's wrong to come to someone who you probably know has this kind of history and represent yourself that way. I don't feel like that is accurately what happened between us at all, you know? And, again, this isn't the first time I've had issues with not recognizing or remembering events in a situation during a dissociative episode. I've been in therapy for these episodes ever since 2021. One of the diagnoses they did imply that I would benefit from a kind of therapy that I never received, because of insurance reasons. So even though I can have a somewhat normal life now, and I can work, and I can, like, have more normal relationships with people where I'm not scared of them, I still have episodes, and I feel like it was unfair that during one, I just happened to get that kind of message, representation and story from someone, about someone who I had no hard feelings about, and was doing my best to respect his space and happiness.
SE: Well thank you for, I'm sure this was really hard, thank you very much for not only coming out about this, but helping reveal the actual truth of the situation.
BG: I just feel really bad, and it's very embarassing. Like, I never like to have to come out and admit to people that these facts about my trauma and what it does to my life. And it's especially stressful to have it be put into a court situation, and when I gave her that consent written down in the message, I was not in my right mind to consent to anything. I wouldn't have been able to sign a legal document, I wouldn't have been able to kiss my partner. I wouldn't have been able to say yes to anything. Not in my... I wasn't in my right mind. And it's embarassing for me. That's one of the things where I told my mom too like it's really embarassing and hard to come out and say this kind of thing, but it's the right thing to do 'cause I always just wanted Steven to be happy after we moved on, you know?
SE: And then just one last question before I stop the recording. Just as a re-asking for permission, you are still okay with this recording being submitted to my lawyer, to the courts, and you are okay with saying that the statement that you gave Megan Rutter should not be considered?
BG: Absolutely. I think that what I told her should not be admissible in court, because when she obtained that statement from me, I was not... I was having a dissociative episode where I was likely remembering past trauma that is well documented, and I would be happy to provide any diagnostic paperwork, or information about the scans that were done to the court if they needed it, in addition to support this statement I'm making now.
SE: Well, I'm going to stop the recording. It's currently the 15th of October. It is around 9:37 (PM). This was Bridget Gabriel speaking to me, and thank you very much for being brave enough to come out and reveal the truth.
BG: Of course, Steven. I wish the best for you.
SE: I wish the best for you too.
(end recording)
To further reinforce that Bridget truly doesn’t believe I’m an abuser and that emray’s claims are false, we’ve been spending time together in various ways for the last week-and-a-half and were actually planning on surprising my community with a co-op stream together before emray decided to post their document. Bridget, Zach (my old friend and her current partner) and I all wanted to reconnect much earlier, but as stated in the above video/transcript, we were prevented from doing so because of emray. The circumstances of us reconnecting are obviously not ideal, but Bridget has actually been communicating with me daily ever since we reconnected, reassuring me that what she said to emray shouldn’t be taken into account by anybody, that I’m a good person in a bad situation, and she and Zach are there for me. Conversations with Bridget and Zach have actually helped me to realise how emray’s behavior towards me in this relationship was NOT okay.
emray called law enforcement in December of 2023, a couple days before Christmas. I never physically restrained her like she claims; we were arguing very loudly, and she backed into the dog gate that we had set up in the hallway and fell. I went over to help her up and she had scratched me and threatened to call the cops, which she did. When the cops appeared, I’m sure they told her things they didn’t tell me and vice-versa, but they took my statement, saw no foul play, understood that it was a stressful time because the holidays were around the corner, and left. Something that emray claimed in the actual court hearing is she told cops that I shouldn’t be arrested and she isn’t pressing charges, but the judge quickly corrected her; Washington law dictates that if there were any suspicion or proof of foul play, I would have been detained. This is on record from the court hearing.
emray claims that she was dropping out of events because of depression and her feeling unsafe, but is not mentioning that she (and myself since I defended her) took a LOT of heat for posting about it/its pronouns. To anyone unaware of this situation, or to anyone that needs a reminder, emray at one point denounced people who went by it/its pronouns, taking her own experiences and turning it/its pronouns into a negative, offensive thing. I, being their partner at the time, blindly defended her and also shared an experience I had as a child. This obviously led to massive backlash and her demanding I take her side. This is not mentioned anywhere in her claims, but is important to remember when it comes to highlighting how quickly she will cast blame on others but not take any accountability. She *did* post a pastebin about the situation the night it really blew up, but that was after I begged her to do it because both of us (her for posting and me for defending) were risking public images and potentially our careers.
I have since reached out to some people who were deeply offended by her comments, apologizing for my role in the situation. Consider this an actual public declaration about the situation if I haven’t reached out to you yet: I am very, deeply sorry for how that situation went and my role in it. I support you, no matter your gender, pronouns, orientation, disabilities, et cetera. People are people. Love is love. Trans rights are human rights. Gender identity and recognition is important. Accessibility is important. You matter.
In response to her claims that she stopped streaming because of me, this is wholly untrue. I never once denied her abilities to make money within the industry, but I did mention that bills were a lot tighter because our earnings were very uneven. We would always try to work bills in ratios; if I made 85% of the income and she made 15%, we would split it this way. But that wasn’t always the case. emray’s definition of pulling her weight was paying her phone bill, eventually her student loan bill, sometimes groceries and the animal groceries. She never contributed to rent when we were with my mom (or anything for that matter in that situation), she never contributed to household bills like mortgage and utilities. Bringing up any sort of financial things up with emray would always lead to her claiming things like I didn’t believe in her, or that she shouldn’t have to contribute because her name was never added to certain bills despite her participation in said bills.
In response to emray claiming my mom was aggressive and abusive towards her, I not only have publicly unfiled Declarations from my mom and my step-dad about the situation, but my aunt was also visiting during that time and can confirm the truth: my mom only ever raised her voice, and it was because emray was incredibly disrespectful to the household for her entire stay. She never contributed to the bills (of which were very modest since my mom and step-dad knew I was saving up money), she only ever complained about people, she made wild accusations like calling my step-uncle a pervert for accidentally taking her towel while he had the flu, people stealing her toiletries when there’s an entire closet full of tons of backup toiletries used by the others in the household, and at one point mentioned she would never eat my mom or step-dad’s cooking because she believed they would poison the food and kill her. In the pastebin screenshot that she shared showing that I had said my mom said/did things, emray was over my shoulder the whole time I was writing that pastebin and constantly kept correcting me/telling me to write things in certain ways because she really “wants to emphasize how scared (she is).”
Mom’s Declaration:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vuYZKpL4xTdltqSrI7VOZC8GHcDAH3l9/view?usp=sharing
Step-Dad’s Declaration:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/17yb_gBxhP9p-0jz6u-CQSmtRBYkT0QQJ/view?usp=sharing
She mentioned my previous dog, Kairi. My mom has Kairi now, and that was after me begging emray to let me keep Kairi in the family. There was one night where she was so distraught that she yelled at me, “You have to make a choice, it’s either me or the dog!” That was a red flag I should’ve recognized and left the relationship over, but after being told she was homeless without me over and over, my hand felt forced.
She also mentioned a night where we went to a concert with some friends. There were several times throughout the show that she started nodding off due to drinking a lot. Often times, it would feel like she overdrank, and I would occasionally bring it up throughout the relationship; when I first started streaming, I was dating a severe alcoholic and there is definitely some lingering trauma from that situation, so habitual overdrinking was something that would always put me on edge. I had made emray aware of that multiple times, but the response was typically “I’m not your ex, you need to get over it.”
At one point during the above mentioned concert she knocked over a drink and it spilled on my friend Brittany’s purse. Brittany doesn’t remember how her purse got sticky but remembers emray being really out of it, as well as my friend Chip and a couple others. On the drive home, we had talked about how I was proud of her for making a new friend, that I was happy that she had fun, but she should maybe reach out to Brittany in the morning for spilling the drink because it got all over her iPad. emray latched onto that last part and when we got home, we went our separate ways briefly, then she started arguing that I ruined her night by bringing up spilling a drink. Her yelling was incredibly uncomfortable, so I started recording. The recording was already posted above, but as a reminder, I’ll post it below. Watching it is honestly painful because you can see the dog we adopted, Yuki, running back and forth trying her hardest to mediate as well as a dog could. Yuki was incredibly stressed and it was very obvious.
Video again from earlier: [Editor's note: look up]
Regarding the legal side of this, emray has revealed my address in a convoluted way and put my and Yuki’s safety at risk by posting the case number and instructions on how to access it. I am no longer safe in my own home that I bought because she was uncomfortable with our prior living situation, and have already begun plans to sell the house, move to a new location and try to start financially rebuilding.
Some of her other claims can be addressed with various different Declarations, some of which are publicly posted for court and others my lawyer has but we did not submit because we didn’t want to overwhelm the court. Posted below are most of them; they have names blanked out for privacy reasons, but I have full permission to share these. I absolutely hate that I have to share these, even with the consent I’ve been given, because so many people have been dragged into this; this situation has grossly affected others, from exposing dead names to ruining an entire relationship over false claims and overexaggerations.
Declaration 1:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1X8NMpFY_oxcvqJHyoW7wpiQZWhfCSsU_/view?usp=sharing
Declaration 2:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1noU-gMCbK9w-TmIZeo8MrBik2IhNXNO3/view?usp=sharing
Declaration 3:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UV-Y_0iwwkLCGiLOpppDXzfFW-tvNfVw/view?usp=sharing
Declaration 4:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1czZWgwjCfWHzKkgPCpqaVeS26IOAAmef/view?usp=sharing
Declaration 5:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HLRbNuLPmFscNWIzsq2GqOrK2ERSWCwT/view?usp=sharing
Declaration 6:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vU-BrN_7ZeW86ArkA2yvwKubVwSfhi1Y/view?usp=sharing
Declaration 7:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VYjqvPd2wnZbM2_W2fAaoyHLhXLEfSZr/view?usp=sharing
Declaration 8:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1X3N-LikHm3wjRmqmJHusGoYX-AYz5gx5/view?usp=sharing
[Editor's note: Here are the links, I'll attach these files to the post anyway]
Below is a zip file with screenshots of many things, from emray’s manipulations, to others sharing they’ve had problems too, as well as pictures someone shared with me of her not only slandering me in her community Discord, but sometimes outright *admitting* she’s purposely being petty and trying to stop me from streaming. I did not ask for any of these pictures, outside of potentially deleted tweets at the instruction of legal counsel. They were sent to me, unprompted, with clear concerns of emray potentially shifting the narrative to stoke hatred towards my friends, my community and myself. As I have recently been informed, this is exactly what happened. She is telling everybody to e-mail GDQ’s Safety team and various other communities with her document, others have sent DMs accusing me and attacking me while I was publicly silent, and so many lies have been spread. Some examples of what I dealt with were:
- emray guilting me for “forgetting about her” during a time sensitive stream situation
- emray berating me for streaming for longer hours than they found acceptable
- emray using their and my money to order food regularly even though they have publicly insisted that I gave no choice on meals and intentionally starved them
- emray becoming agitated when I suggested taking multiple cars on a trip with friends and immediately shooting down the idea with no room for counter-argument
- emray saying I was going to obtain a gun to threaten them to spikevegeta
- and much more
Picture of telling everybody to mass report:
Zip with multiple pictures:
I will gladly answer any questions anybody has for me to the best of my legal abilities. I understand that, even despite all of this, there will be some people that have already decided where they stand and will no longer associate with me. I understand that being seen in this position has no doubt disappointed a lot of you, and I’m sorry. At one point, emray says she had a “secret source” that told her about the ghost video I provided. Unfortunately, I know who shared it, and if you read this, know that I understand and I don’t hold anything against you.
I deeply apologize to anybody in general who was affected by this, including but not limited to any sponsors, any organizations that have/had hired me on to represent them, to any charity organizations that were blindsided by this, my community, other communities, and especially my friends. So often I was isolated from you all, and I didn’t have the courage to step up and admit something was wrong and would just justify it instead. There are a lot of individuals I plan to reach out to and hopefully talk things out and regain friendships I’ve lost because of emray, whether because of this situation or because she has made me cut people out of my life throughout the relationship.
This is not to say that emray is the sole cause of a lot of my negative standing with different people. I take full responsibility for unhealthily holding a grudge against the Pokemon Speedrun community (PSR), and I’m sorry to those I never treated fairly because of it. I take full responsibility for causing a fracture amongst my friends and colleagues within the Pokemon Crystal Bingo/Full Item Randomizer community as well; I unfairly put people in positions where they felt like they had to choose sides. I’m also sorry that I gave the Hollow Knight community a lot of flak; I blindly believed every story emray told me and never came to my own conclusions nor did my own research. This includes people like Kanra77 and Vysuals, of which I have said unflattering things in the past without actually forming my own opinion or doing my own research. To you two, I’m very sorry for any problems I may have caused, and I’m sorry for putting blind faith in my former partner.
I am not faultless as a content creator. Too often in the past, I would lean too heavy into the role of a bad guy, yell at backseaters, be hyper competitive to a fault, and not own up or apologize for the behavior, thinking that’s what my audience wanted to see. I’d like to think that in the past couple years, even with all of this going on, I have improved. To anyone I’ve ever treated poorly from that attitude, I hope I get the chance to show you the real me and not the performative me; streams have been much more chill, the community has been much more laid back, and I want to promote as much of a safe space as my peers and organizational marathons do, like I should have all along.
I was also not faultless as a partner. I said it already, but we were incredibly toxic to each other, and it would often bleed over to others in various ways. I will definitely be going into some heavy therapy to not only parse how this relationship went and what it’s done to me, but to better myself so I can be better for everyone else around me and continue to do good work in the charity spaces that I’ve fallen in love with.
I know this may appear performative, but I am going to donate $150 to a to-be-determined charity that supports women who need help out of domestic situations, and another $150 to NAMI, and I encourage you all to do the same regardless of amount. I wish I could provide more, but after the lawyer fees this is what I can safely provide. Throughout this whole ordeal, I came to think about how many other people less financially lucky/fortunate could use the help.
The judge ended the hearing with something powerful, even if it may seem like an obvious thing. Paraphrasing, “You both have large audiences and influence. Use it better to build and not destroy.” I’m going to move forward and follow that advice, and I hope emray eventually does as well.
P.S. It should go without saying, but do not harass anyone involved.
- DO NOT harass emray
- DO NOT harass anyone who stayed silent on the side waiting for details
- DO NOT harass anyone for their decisions upon hearing both sides
- STOP DRAGGING OTHER PEOPLE INTO THIS
