Sperging about the correct way to cook a hotdog

buttvomit

buttvomit

kiwifarms.net
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Buck Mullet said:
Jack can't even cook hot dogs competently. I'll give him credit for using Hebrew National's, but just burning them in a pan is pathetic. All you need to do to cook the perfect kosher dog is put them in water, bring to a fast boil, then cover and remove from heat for 7 minutes. Perfectly done and plumped, and your fucking smoke alarm doesn't go off.
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why the fuck would i boil a hotdog
 
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Adamska said:
It's commonly done actually, but not like how what the fuck he does it; it's usually melted, a sauce, or grated. I'll do a runthrough later because this is an ineptitude that should not be given how dirt simple hot dogs are to make good.
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Chili dogs can also have cheese on them. In my experience it's usually shredded cheddar cheese on top of the chili in order for it to melt, but in some places its jarred cheese or some sort of cheese sauce. Overall tasty but too salty and messy for me. Jack would probably love it but he'd end up using Bar-S hotdogs on top of shitty sweet bread and his 2 year old freezer chili though.

Also this chili dog looks way better than that abomination he made. At least the furry looks like he enjoys eating it!
 
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buttvomit said:
why the fuck would i boil a hotdog
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The best way to cook a good quality hot dog is to steam it. That way the heat builds up inside the natural casing, and when you bite into it, it snaps with a crack, spewing hot dog juice into your mouth. That gives you an explosion of hot dog flavor right away. It sounds dirty, but hot dog connoisseurs swear by it! If you grill or fry a dog, the casing shrivels and gets hard. Boiling it is ok if you can't steam, but you run the risk of the casing cracking. A good hot dog should have an intact skin. Never poke a real frankfurter with a fork. Always use tongs.

With supermarket dogs with collagen casings all bets are off. It's going to be one blubbery texture all the way through no matter what you do. Might as well burn them on a grill to try to get some kind of texture to them.
 
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JackDavis said:

Jack is teaching us how to make hotdogs now.

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Who eats like this? Who puts slices of cheese into their hotdog buns like this? He says this prevents the bun from getting soggy... When do hotdogs get soggy?

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Dude burnt his hotdogs and set his smoke alarm off. Sounding like an Xbox Final Fantasy unboxing.

He says to get a glass jar of sauerkraut so you can throw it in the microwave, you should never eat it cold. Any Germans out there, is this true? I'm pretty sure I've had cold sauerkraut before but maybe I was eating it wrong.

He says to use the fork you used for the sauerkraut, to use that on the relish too. He says they are interchangeable, yet he uses both. Okay then.

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"And THAT is your perfect hot dog!" "It has everything on it. Cheese, onion, mustard, catch up, relish, sauerkraut." "Hot sauerkraut, cold relish, they go together, I don't know why."

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This is utterly fucking revolting. Who does this? The patrician choice is mustard. Possibly onions or prepared onions like Sabrett onions. Maybe ketchup, mustard and relish. Maybe something like a coney dog. Not whatever the fuck this shit is. No wonder this fucker is so fat.

Uncle Meat said:
The best way to cook a good quality hot dog is to steam it.
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I prefer to make them dog wagon style, by boiling them and then slicing them lengthwise and searing them on both sides, while a flat weight is on top of them.
 
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feral cat #6385 said:
Stroke #3 here we come.



Hotdogs with melted cheese and bacon are amazing. But not something I eat anymore because I don't want to end up like Jack.
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How I do bacon dogs is wrapping the dog in bacon, holding the bacon on with toothpicks, and frying it on all sides until the bacon is crispy.
 
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Czolg said:
Not German, but Pole here, sauerkraut is in fact mostly served cold. Jack is wrong about this one, as usual.
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I usually heat it up especially for eating with other stuff, but if you put a glass sauerkraut jar in the microwave you are a fucking idiot. They are not microwave safe. The dumb cunt could have this shit blow up, filling his fat fucking face with shards of glass and spewing boiling sauerkraut all over him.
 
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AnOminous said:
I prefer to make them dog wagon style, by boiling them and then slicing them lengthwise and searing them on both sides, while a flat weight is on top of them.
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That is fine. But boiling leeches a lot of the flavor out, and grilling them makes a natural casing pointless. Maybe people in other parts of the country don't get old fashioned frankfurters with the natural casing.
 
captkrisma said:
Hot dogs...they're like jazz. There's hundreds of great ways to make it, but if there's a part wrong, or missing, it throws the whole thing off and it becomes ass.

Jack's hotdogs are ass.

If you're gonna blister the dogs, grill them over coals. They call these char-dogs. Spread some cheese whiz in the bun and it's a cheddar char dog.

Jack fucks up on a few accounts. First, sweet Hawaiian buns. Get the fuck out with that shit. Ketchup on a dog is also a joke. If you're over the age of 10 and wanna be a big boy or girl, use tomato wedges. Too much relish/sauerkraut/onions.
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Hawaiian here.

Sweet Hawaiian buns are overrated and people who use them for everything are probably deathfats. They're okay with certain kinds of meat, like maybe juicy beef patty sliders could work with it, but otherwise they're so sweet and rich that they're better off being a dessert on their own right. They are too soft and when you hold onto them as a sandwich or hotdog they become smooshed and absorb too much of the juices and sauce of what you're eating and become soggy pieces of shit, also their flavor is too overpowering.

The 'Hula Dog' is also just tourist bullshit.
 
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captkrisma said:
Hot dogs...they're like jazz. There's hundreds of great ways to make it, but if there's a part wrong, or missing, it throws the whole thing off and it becomes ass.

Jack's hotdogs are ass.

If you're gonna blister the dogs, grill them over coals. They call these char-dogs. Spread some cheese whiz in the bun and it's a cheddar char dog.

Jack fucks up on a few accounts. First, sweet Hawaiian buns. Get the fuck out with that shit. Ketchup on a dog is also a joke. If you're over the age of 10 and wanna be a big boy or girl, use tomato wedges. Too much relish/sauerkraut/onions.
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What's with the anti ketchup autism?
 
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captkrisma said:
Jack fucks up on a few accounts. First, sweet Hawaiian buns. Get the fuck out with that shit. Ketchup on a dog is also a joke. If you're over the age of 10 and wanna be a big boy or girl, use tomato wedges. Too much relish/sauerkraut/onions.
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IMO if you want to put catchup on a hot dog, who cares? It's a log of processed blended auxiliary meats. Tomato wedges are probably too good for it if we were to be honest.

SAVE TWINKIE! said:
Hot dog without mustard. Isn't that illegal? It should be.
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There was mustard. It was just under the cheese, onions, catchup and a pound of interchangable relish and sauerkraut.
 
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