Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Understand

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Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Chris is even naive at health, eating "healthy" does him no good if he sits around the house playing vidya. Gotta burn calories by exercising, burn what you eat.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

snowkitten91 said:
Chrissy said:
...Damn Ill-Social People who overlook and ignore me in person around here...

It still baffles me how he expects people (besides Jerkops) to just stop in their tracks and come approach the loitering, stinky weirdo who clearly doesn't care about detaching his face from his electronic shit to atleast try to make some eye-contact with somebody.

Mcdonalds.jpg
It's absolutely shocking how he did largely the same thing for a decade and he never figured it wasn't working or to try new tactics. He's the simplest dullard I've ever known.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

What gets me is that he keeps trying to put an attraction sign on the back of his DS. Like boyfriend-free girls are going to get that close to him to read that tiny sign in the first place.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Sorry for being a thicko, but where is the content that you're all referring to?

Edit: Never mind
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Da Pickle Monsta said:
What gets me is that he keeps trying to put an attraction sign on the back of his DS. Like boyfriend-free girls are going to get that close to him to read that tiny sign in the first place.

137-NDSAttractop.jpg
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Much like big brother Cole, Chris is no good at picking apart movies and should just stop.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

snowkitten91 said:

"22 year old boy." That says more about Chris's psyche than anything. Is he now a 31 year old boy?
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

NiggoFiggo said:
Chris is even naive at health, eating "healthy" does him no good if he sits around the house playing vidya. Gotta burn calories by exercising, burn what you eat.

But standing up IS exercise! Don't you see him standing while he plays Guitar Hero?
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Haven't read his review but relating Spring Breakers to MLP, FUCKING FACEPALM. Just a massive fucking face palm. A look at modern youth? The glorification of "hood" culture? Hell a great performance by James Franco? No. He relates it to MLP.

Film is too good for Chris.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Tubular Monkey said:
"22 year old boy." That says more about Chris's psyche than anything. Is he now a 31 year old boy?

A 31 year old boy Munchlax who still can't stand up to Mommy :snorlax: (and most probably never will).
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

It's just Chris perpetuating the most infuriating stereotype of bronies: finding pony references where there are none to be had. Not unlike people who find Jesus in a slice of toast.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

DrChristianTroy said:
Haven't read his review but relating Spring Breakers to MLP, FUCKING FACEPALM. Just a massive fucking face palm. A look at modern youth? The glorification of "hood" culture? Hell a great performance by James Franco? No. He relates it to MLP.

Film is too good for Chris.
Lets be honest chris only watched it cause boobies and "big boy" situations. Chris ignored the whole movie and focused on tits and ass and when he saw mlp he probably creamed his pants
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

They'll read the DS sign while they are busy orbiting his belt because of AXE body spray. It's the perfect plan.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

champthom said:
To be fair, I'm guessing that the wraps MIGHT be healthier than say their sandwiches, but the operative word here is healthier, not healthy. I mean, they come with a shitload of dressing, and I think two of the three wraps comes with bacon. So maybe it's slightly healthier than say a chicken sandwich, it's not as healthy as say, a grilled chicken breast you cook at home. Chris is trying to address concerns he's fat by trying to eat healthier, but some of the stuff they market as "healthy" at McDonald's is sometimes just as bad if not worse than the regular stuff.

The worst McWrap has more calories, sodium, fat, and cholesterol than a Big Mac.

The only way that the McWraps can be healthy is by ordering the snack size; something that we all know wouldn't satisfy Chris.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
"Eat Healthy with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea."

I rarely go to McDonalds and sometimes, I go without them for years. Lets stop right there. Premium McWraps and tea? I don't want to know what's in those McWraps but from what I heard about tea according to Kacey, the tea has a shitload of sugar in them. Not to sound a-loggy but aren't those "chicken meat" in McDonald's pumped full of hormones? Because if they are still pumped full of hormones, isn't McDonald's contributing to the growth of Chris's mantits?

Chris has figured out that the few people who still put up with him (excluding :snorlax: who these days is just as bad) do not approve of his diet.
So, when mentioning McDonalds he right away lies to cover himself by claiming he's there "eating healthy" to prevent Anna from getting on his case about the burgers, fries and McNuggets he's scarfing down. And I still think that's what he's really eating there, although I might be willing to believe the sweet tea part since it's just as full of sugar (actually high fructose corn syrup) as the soda.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Of course he liked it, there were boobies. I wish him and Cole had a show like Ebert and Roper. I was gonna start a thread, "Write a negative review of a movie you like, written in the Cole Smithey style." But I don't know if people would feel like it of not.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I haven't seen Spring Breakers, but due to the nature of the movie's trailer, I'm sure it has nothing to do with ponies.

as for Chris bitching about his current life state or whatever, well...he chose to be that way.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Sakamoto said:
Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
"Eat Healthy with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea."

I rarely go to McDonalds and sometimes, I go without them for years. Lets stop right there. Premium McWraps and tea? I don't want to know what's in those McWraps but from what I heard about tea according to Kacey, the tea has a shitload of sugar in them. Not to sound a-loggy but aren't those "chicken meat" in McDonald's pumped full of hormones? Because if they are still pumped full of hormones, isn't McDonald's contributing to the growth of Chris's mantits?

Chris has figured out that the few people who still put up with him (excluding :snorlax: who these days is just as bad) do not approve of his diet.
So, when mentioning McDonalds he right away lies to cover himself by claiming he's there "eating healthy" to prevent Anna from getting on his case about the burgers, fries and McNuggets he's scarfing down. And I still think that's what he's really eating there, although I might be willing to believe the sweet tea part since it's just as full of sugar (actually high fructose corn syrup) as the soda.
Nah, he does eat the "healthy" stuff he talks about sometimes, if not a lot of the time. Anna doesn't give a shit about what he eats and Chris isn't worried about what she thinks if it's contrary to what he wants.
 
Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Chris and Cole as a brother movie reviewing duo is the only way I can see Chris making it big. Everyone would wanna see that! Everyone!!!!
 
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