Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Understand

[LordCustos3]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Of course he liked it, there were boobies. I wish him and Cole had a show like Ebert and Roper. I was gonna start a thread, "Write a negative review of a movie you like, written in the Cole Smithey style." But I don't know if people would feel like it of not.

*YOINK!*

Stole your idea.

https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1706

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I imagine Chris is like some overweight people I know; they don't seem to recognise they're eating unhealthily because they fixate on all the healthy things they eat for main courses but then they'll snack on biscuits and chocolate between meals almost subconsciously. Then when you ask them what they ate that day they'll list all the healthy stuff and forget to mention the snacking.

That or Chris exaggerates how often he eats the healthy options, which wouldn't be unusual for him, and chooses the burgers most of the time. It's very obvious from his figure that he does not have the diet he claims to.

 

[Zero Gun: Fenrir]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Ok, the only thing I could see about this having anything to do with my little pony is the tropes used in the two movies, but I really don't think OPL is that insightful, besides, TV tropes wouldn't do anything for him, I mean his life's already ruined.

 

[Dreamatorium]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Something that really confounds me is Chris' endless desire to fellate the figurative genitals of the companies/corporations that produce things he likes. Why? Does he think he'll get noticed this way?

Another thing that confounds me is the fact that he thinks any crap served at mcdonald's is at all healthy.

It's times like this where I wish I could just talk to him. Tell him that he needs to move on and stop blaming things that have caused him pain in the past on his current state. It's not what problems you have, it's how you deal with them, allow them to shape you that makes you the person you are. If you're weak about things like this then you'll be washed away by the brook of time.

Something that I hate about Chris is his absolute rejection of any negative stimulation. It's natural to not like bad things that hurt you, but at some point you need to realize the yin-yang of life. Bad experiences can actually be extremely beneficial and are crucial for character development.

Whatever. It's not like he's ever going to listen to anyone who tries to tell him this.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

It's times like this where I wish I could just talk to him. Tell him that he needs to move on and stop blaming things that have caused him pain in the past on his current state. It's not what problems you have, it's how you deal with them, allow them to shape you that makes you the person you are. If you're weak about things like this then you'll be washed away by the brook of time.

Something that I hate about Chris is his absolute rejection of any negative stimulation. It's natural to not like bad things that hurt you, but at some point you need to realize the yin-yang of life. Bad experiences can actually be extremely beneficial and are crucial for character development.

Whatever. It's not like he's ever going to listen to anyone who tries to tell him this.

I think everyone that really follows Chris thinks this at one point or another but as you learn more about him you eventually realise it's pointless. Chris is the most stubborn man on the planet, he considers himself intelligent and doesn't think there's anything he could possibly learn from trolls. Chris has tried to trick trolls with retardedly childish acts of deceit that were obvious to anyone with half a brain, but Chris reacts with shock when he learns the trolls saw through his deception. He's too stupid to realise he's stupid and therefore thinks he's amazing at everything. Practically a textbook example of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

He's too stupid to realise he's stupid and therefore thinks he's amazing at everything. Practically a textbook example of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

This used to be true, but I think he's actually learning now. In some of the new Facebook leaks, he faces up to his limitations. Back during the whole skywriter saga he was pestering Anna for help deciding what was real and what wasn't. And somewhere else he straight-up admitted that online socialization is a bust because he himself is incapable of telling the difference between real people and trolls. He's definitely aware on some level that he has limitations.

 

[Dreamatorium]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

He's too stupid to realise he's stupid and therefore thinks he's amazing at everything. Practically a textbook example of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

This used to be true, but I think he's actually learning now. In some of the new Facebook leaks, he faces up to his limitations. Back during the whole skywriter saga he was pestering Anna for help deciding what was real and what wasn't. And somewhere else he straight-up admitted that online socialization is a bust because he himself is incapable of telling the difference between real people and trolls. He's definitely aware on some level that he has limitations.

I have a feeling that his brief admission of flaws may only be the product of grief. He's been depressed lately. I feel as if it's only his mood that's caused this..objective introspection. When he's producing normal levels of dopamine while beating up minotaurs in God of War he's as narcissistic as ever.

 

[soIregistered]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

So Chris' bitching about the "ill social" people who don't approach him...doesn't he still assume every who DOES approach is a troll? Or is it everyone but hot girls are trolls? Also, I wonder how many might say hi out of pity and run for the hills when he opens his mouth and tells them his complete name, that he's a high functioning autistic, creator of the original Sonichu and Rosechu, looking for a boyfriend-free girl? Do you think he'd admit it if it happened once a week? He probably would.

 

[Dreamatorium]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

So Chris' bitching about the "ill social" people who don't approach him...doesn't he still assume every who DOES approach is a troll? Or is it everyone but hot girls are trolls? Also, I wonder how many might say hi out of pity and run for the hills when he opens his mouth and tells them his complete name, that he's a high functioning autistic, creator of the original Sonichu and Rosechu, looking for a boyfriend-free girl? Do you think he'd admit it if it happened once a week? He probably would.

Thing is, I don't think he does that shit anymore. I don't know what flavor of spaghetti is falling out of his pants nowadays but I'm fairly certain that it's different.

Chris plays the insult game, I think, because it raises him above the people fitting the fictional dogma of the insult, in this case we see him a lone sane person among a civilization of 'ill-social' people and trolls. It's just a scapegoat for him, an outlet for his fantasy that it's society who is defective and not him. Chris cannot admit that he has a massive social impairment. He'll bend the rules of reality around so much before he comes anywhere close to the concession of himself possibly being a creepy sperg who drives people away with his very aura, not to mention appearance and odor.

 

[The Hunter]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Thankfully, this isn't entirely out of the blue (but is still a really minor and stupid point to pick up on). I saw the movie because I like the director's stuff, and I thought it was pretty great.

MLP is in no way a major part of the movie, nor does it connect with the series at all. The reason why Chris connected MLP with Spring Breakers was because during like, 5 second intervals (and it's about 3 of these shots), the main characters can be seen watching the show on a laptop or iPad, usually while high. That's it. Ponies show up for literally 5 seconds, and Chris can't stop thinking about them throughout the entire film, much like the rest of the brony community, which is why art is dying.

 

[soIregistered]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Ponies show up for literally 5 seconds, and Chris can't stop thinking about them throughout the entire film, much like the rest of the brony community, which is why art is dying.

This. I also blame mashup t-shirts.

 

[Count groudon]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Yknow, I thought this movie would be pretty crappy because of those annoying ads that constantly play, but now that CWC likes it I know it's a just scrappy movie with girls in bikinis

 

[NiggoFiggo]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Yknow, I thought this movie would be pretty crappy because of those annoying ads that constantly play, but now that CWC likes it I know it's a just scrappy movie with girls in bikinis

SPRING BREAK 4EVER

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Thankfully, this isn't entirely out of the blue (but is still a really minor and stupid point to pick up on). I saw the movie because I like the director's stuff, and I thought it was pretty great.

MLP is in no way a major part of the movie, nor does it connect with the series at all. The reason why Chris connected MLP with Spring Breakers was because during like, 5 second intervals (and it's about 3 of these shots), the main characters can be seen watching the show on a laptop or iPad, usually while high. That's it. Ponies show up for literally 5 seconds, and Chris can't stop thinking about them throughout the entire film, much like the rest of the brony community, which is why art is dying.

It goes to show that Chris has the mind of a small child. He seeks out product placement. If MLP all ate grass clippings and drank kerosene, so would he. He can only connect to things on a superficial, commercially way. "I KNOW DAT PRODUCT FROM TV!"

 

[Tonebender]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Ughhhhhh.
I'm not a huge fan of Harmony Korine, but I do appreciate Kids and Gummo (and to a lesser extent Mister Lonely) but holy shit Spring Breakers was a disaster as far as his usual style. The editing didn't help whatever piece of "modern american life" that he usuallly writes about. From that, i feel it must've been a weak script. With his other films, he attempts to depict 'extreme'/modern versions of traditional "Americana" and would juxtapose them against his soundtracks. Especially using the stoner-doom-metal in Gummo which was a metaphor to taking traditional values and taking them to current day iterations. (i.e. Sleep, a mid-90's band who based their sound on Black Sabbath as well as other 70's-80's metal bands like Pentagram and Saint Vitus).

Spring Breakers felt so "clunky" because it seemed like Korine wasn't sure what aspect of modern day Americana he wanted to portray. The gaps of random shots didn't supplement the story at all compared to "Kids" where shots of homeless people on the subway or 'kwik-e-marts' helped to build a general context of the world those kids lived in.

Ugh I'm drunk and not entirely sure of the point I was trying to make....

But the bottom line is just because there was a shot of Harmony Korine's wife watching My Little Pony on an ipad (IDEABOOK, bitches!) doesn't mean it has anything to do with MLP.

Maybe I'm just cranky. Bleghhhhhhh.

 

[MysticMisty]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

He compared some of the characters to MLP characters. So I'm thinking that he saw the characters in the most generic, minimal sense ("That girl is a Tomboy. And that one is a Bookworm. GASP! Just like in MLP!") which is where he came up with the connection. Any brief cameo of the show just cemented that idea. Anyways, it wasn't the first time Chris completely misinterpreted movies. Remember when he thought the rape scene in Cannibal Island was some fun and sexy time between a playful couple?

 

[Tonebender]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

He compared some of the characters to MLP characters. So I'm thinking that he saw the characters in the most generic, minimal sense ("That girl is a Tomboy. And that one is a Bookworm. GASP! Just like in MLP!") which is where he came up with the connection. Any brief cameo of the show just cemented that idea. Anyways, it wasn't the first time Chris completely misinterpreted movies. Remember when he thought the rape scene in Cannibal Island was some fun and sexy time between a playful couple?

Totally.
Maybe I just get frustrated from working in the film industry for 8 years knowing that it's people like Chris who make or break movies when they go to test screenings that determine whether I'm working for 1 more week or 1 more year.

I can already see his comment card: "Well dese girls are on vacation and dey want to have fun and such but some BRUTE Male Jerks try to take away 'der fun. I once had fun until some TROLLS named Megan and Michael took away my fun. :sigh"

Oh godbear, I think I'm on the verge of 'sperging way too hard if I keep thinking about this.

Anyway, I'm totally intrigued about how and what Chris uses to rationalize and relate ideas that are beyond his grasp. Ex: using MLP to reference the girls in Spring Breakers. Then again, I've never watched MLP but I'm willing to wager q-sands that there is no relation at all.

 

[soIregistered]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

He compared some of the characters to MLP characters. So I'm thinking that he saw the characters in the most generic, minimal sense ("That girl is a Tomboy. And that one is a Bookworm. GASP! Just like in MLP!") which is where he came up with the connection. Any brief cameo of the show just cemented that idea. Anyways, it wasn't the first time Chris completely misinterpreted movies. Remember when he thought the rape scene in Cannibal Island was some fun and sexy time between a playful couple?

Totally.
Maybe I just get frustrated from working in the film industry for 8 years knowing that it's people like Chris who make or break movies when they go to test screenings that determine whether I'm working for 1 more week or 1 more year.

I can already see his comment card: "Well dese girls are on vacation and dey want to have fun and such but some BRUTE Male Jerks try to take away 'der fun. I once had fun until some TROLLS named Megan and Michael took away my fun. :sigh"

Oh godbear, I think I'm on the verge of 'sperging way too hard if I keep thinking about this.

Anyway, I'm totally intrigued about how and what Chris uses to rationalize and relate ideas that are beyond his grasp. Ex: using MLP to reference the girls in Spring Breakers. Then again, I've never watched MLP but I'm willing to wager q-sands that there is no relation at all.

Test screenings with Chrisses are why Michael Bay = $$$.

P.S.
I also work in the entertainment industry. *nods*

 

[Tonebender]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

He compared some of the characters to MLP characters. So I'm thinking that he saw the characters in the most generic, minimal sense ("That girl is a Tomboy. And that one is a Bookworm. GASP! Just like in MLP!") which is where he came up with the connection. Any brief cameo of the show just cemented that idea. Anyways, it wasn't the first time Chris completely misinterpreted movies. Remember when he thought the rape scene in Cannibal Island was some fun and sexy time between a playful couple?

Totally.
Maybe I just get frustrated from working in the film industry for 8 years knowing that it's people like Chris who make or break movies when they go to test screenings that determine whether I'm working for 1 more week or 1 more year.

I can already see his comment card: "Well dese girls are on vacation and dey want to have fun and such but some BRUTE Male Jerks try to take away 'der fun. I once had fun until some TROLLS named Megan and Michael took away my fun. :sigh"

Oh godbear, I think I'm on the verge of 'sperging way too hard if I keep thinking about this.

Anyway, I'm totally intrigued about how and what Chris uses to rationalize and relate ideas that are beyond his grasp. Ex: using MLP to reference the girls in Spring Breakers. Then again, I've never watched MLP but I'm willing to wager q-sands that there is no relation at all.

Test screenings with Chrisses are why Michael Bay = $$$.

P.S.
I also work in the entertainment industry. *nods*

Hahahaaaaaa oh godbear, not to get off topic but I worked on the second and third Transformers...

Anyway, I love how Chris interprets movies today and especially considering his homoerotic love for giant robots if he will like Pacific Rim. I'm very curious to hear his review about a movie that promotes unconditional love and respect for humanity as a whole (including JERK males who steal single white women).

Actually, there's no way he spends money to watch a movie in theaters when he could just save "McD healthy choice points" to rent said movie 18 months later.

Wait. What was the last movie Chris watched in a theater?

 

[CatParty]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I was just reminded of the perfect response to his "review"


[youtube]5hfYJsQAhl0[/youtube]