Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Understand

[MysticMisty]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Barb probably wouldn't let him out of the house long enough to go to the theaters. Anyways, I can totally see Chris as not wanting to go just because he's going to assume he's the only one there watching a movie by himself.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Wow, I actually do wonder when was the last time Chris went to the cinema. I don't remember him ever mentioning going out to see a movie.

 

[champthom]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I forgot that Chris mentions the tea at McDonald's. I've had it, it's sweet tea and I call it diabetes in a cup. Mind you, I'm not a pansy who hates sweet foods and drinks but it is SUPER sweet, like they dumped a goddamn bag of sugar in the cup, and it's a huge ass cup you get for 99 cents, like 32 ounces, it's crazy. I don't know, maybe once in a while it'd be okay but Chris doesn't seem to get that this isn't the healthy type of tea.

On further investigation, because I'm curious like that, apparently a sweet tea only has 54 grams of sugar, compared to 76 in the same sized Coke. Still, that's a shitload of sugar, diet soda would probably be a smarter choice.

 

[sethrutgers22]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I would love it if reviews in this style could appear regularly in a newspaper in the movie reviews section. It would leave so many people scratching their heads over what they just read and would help absolutely no one decide if they want to see the movie or not. Just gloriously self-serving, rambling nonsense.

 

[PickleTron7000]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

They do, from time to time. It depends on the area that you live in, and the level of professionalism maintained by the publication. Chris could very likely write cinema reviews for a small town newspaper. That is, until someone actually bothers to read one, and calls to complain that his review of Avengers 2 comprises a length of text about a Jewish hobby store owner running an underground bullying syndicate staffed by da homos.

 

[Male]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

You know something's amiss when you end up learning a lot more about Chris than the movies he "reviews".

 

[Francine StripeCheer]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I love that Chris's film reviews have already been read by more people than have ever read Cole's. Like a load of people have said, Chris could actually make a living on blip.tv just talking crap. You can make $4 or $5 per thousand views, and Chris could probably get 10,000 views for every new video.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I love that Chris's film reviews have already been read by more people than have ever read Cole's.

The most ironic thing is, the number of reads Cole's writing gets could be at least the same as what Chris's writing gets. Because why wouldn't we all here want to read Cole's stuff too?

But sadly, Cole is less interesting than Chris, even in the context of his relation to Chris.

 

[CatParty]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I love that Chris's film reviews have already been read by more people than have ever read Cole's.

The most ironic thing is, the number of reads Cole's writing gets could be at least the same as what Chris's writing gets. Because why wouldn't we all here want to read Cole's stuff too?

But sadly, Cole is less interesting than Chris, even in the context of his relation to Chris.

He's referred to as "coleslaw" for a reason.

He's the boring side dish to Chris chan.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

He's referred to as "coleslaw" for a reason.

He's the boring side dish to Our Pet Lolcow.

Also, some people seem to like coleslaw, despite it obviously being completely revolting.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I like coleslaw :x

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

GRODY

 

[BillRiley]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Wow, I actually do wonder when was the last time Chris went to the cinema. I don't remember him ever mentioning going out to see a movie.

He went to a movie with the Wallflower. Don't remember which one.

 

[Sakamoto]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

MLP is in no way a major part of the movie, nor does it connect with the series at all. The reason why Chris connected MLP with Spring Breakers was because during like, 5 second intervals (and it's about 3 of these shots), the main characters can be seen watching the show on a laptop or iPad, usually while high. That's it. Ponies show up for literally 5 seconds, and Chris can't stop thinking about them throughout the entire film, much like the rest of the brony community, which is why art is dying.

Remember that when Chris was reading his Goosebump books, in his mind he substituted Sonic characters to fill the roles of the characters in the book. Human characters are too "real" to wrap his mind around, so he needs to identify them with the simple cartoon personalities that he can understand (or at least thinks he understands). So he's probably identifying the characters in the movie by which pony he thinks they are a match for.

 

[Picklepower]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I wonder if Chris knows Cole doesn't like the Transformers movies?

 

[soIregistered]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

I wonder if Chris knows Cole doesn't like the Transformers movies?

Neither do Transformers fans, by and large.

 

[MysticMisty]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Wow, I actually do wonder when was the last time Chris went to the cinema. I don't remember him ever mentioning going out to see a movie.

He went to a movie with the Wallflower. Don't remember which one.

I think in an email to Jackie he said he saw a "flick" with the Young Adult Youth Group at church.

 

[spaps]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

Damn Male Population, Damn Ill-Social People who overlook and ignore me in person around here, and Damn Ms. Schroeder and Mr. Snyder for further destroying me emotionally over the past greater than half-decade.

I can't believe that I only just realized that Chris has a greater victim complex than any given Social Justice Warrior.
Oddly, there's no mention of DA TWOLLS here.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

The difference being that Chris HAS been the victim of slanderous lucricities and damn mockeries and otherwise persecuted, while any given Social Justice Warrior would step over their own cis-scum parents for that to happen to them, if for no other reason than to validate their bizarre victim complexes since they don't have any legitimate or real hardships.

 

[spaps]

Re: Spring Breakers: Another Movie That Chris Doesn't Unders

The difference being that Chris HAS been the victim of slanderous lucricities and damn mockeries and otherwise persecuted, while any given Social Justice Warrior would step over their own cis-scum parents for that to happen to them, if for no other reason than to validate their bizarre victim complexes since they don't have any legitimate or real hardships.

I'm aware of that, but what I'm saying is that he says that Megan and Mike Snyder have "destroyed him emotionally over the past greater than half-decade." This is the guy who attempted to murder Snyder, and uploaded badly-drawn porn of Megan to the internet (also Sailor Asscheeks), and somehow Chris is the victim here.