Springtrapp - Batshit Otherkin Pedophile Sadist and Her Brainwashed Child Bride

Holy fuck.
nice time said:
[7/29/2014 1:04:03 AM] Lawrence: Whatever...
[7/29/2014 1:04:05 AM] Lawrence: Nevermind.
[7/29/2014 1:04:09 AM] Lawrence: Get upset. Whatever
[7/29/2014 1:04:44 AM] Redacted: Holy shit what did I do?!
[7/29/2014 1:04:48 AM] Lawrence: Nothing.
[7/29/2014 1:04:50 AM] Lawrence: I'm defeated
[7/29/2014 1:05:20 AM] Lawrence: You hate yourself so what's the point
[7/29/2014 1:05:24 AM] Lawrence: I'm never going to help you.
[7/29/2014 1:05:39 AM] Lawrence: I'm never going to do nay good in anyone's life so what is the fucking point
[7/29/2014 1:05:42 AM] Lawrence: Why do I still live?
[7/29/2014 1:05:46 AM] Lawrence: Why the fuck do I breathe?
[7/29/2014 1:05:48 AM] Lawrence: Tell me
[7/29/2014 1:05:51 AM] Redacted: Gee. Thanks.That makes me feel good.
[7/29/2014 1:06:41 AM] Lawrence: Why the fuck do I live and try to exist
[7/29/2014 1:07:01 AM] Lawrence: We haven't had a proper conversation in a long time without you suddenly getting sad.
[7/29/2014 1:07:08 AM] Lawrence: God dammit I just want to have fun like we used to!!!!
Click to expand...
What a manipulative sack of worthless, burnt shit. This section is just- I'm fucking amazed at how easily he flips it around and makes it all about himself, how sad he is, how horrible his life is that he has to deal with this useless depressed friend of his. "I don't mean to hurt you like this"? If you know it hurts people, why the fuck do you do it? Do you just like hurting people?

And he did this multiple fucking times, too, huh? I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this asshole.
 
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nice time said:
here's something that could be interesting?
this is how he reacted anytime I got upset, or was sad about something. he turned it around to be about him, every time.
I'm really nervous about posting this, fklajsdjasfd.

(context: before this transcript, I told him about a kerfuffle with a friend, and I was upset about it.
also, there was a lot of really bad stuff happening in my life at this point, which you can see him using against me.)

[7/29/2014 1:00:11 AM] Lawrence: Just tell him.
[7/29/2014 1:01:57 AM] Redacted: It's not worth it.
[7/29/2014 1:02:14 AM] Lawrence: It is
[7/29/2014 1:02:55 AM] Lawrence: I don't really want to get upset, please dopn't.
[7/29/2014 1:03:01 AM] Lawrence: I have work tomorrow I cannot go into work upset
[7/29/2014 1:03:06 AM] Redacted: ???????? Why are you blaming this on me
[7/29/2014 1:04:03 AM] Lawrence: Whatever...
[7/29/2014 1:04:05 AM] Lawrence: Nevermind.
[7/29/2014 1:04:09 AM] Lawrence: Get upset. Whatever
[7/29/2014 1:04:44 AM] Redacted: Holy shit what did I do?!
[7/29/2014 1:04:48 AM] Lawrence: Nothing.
[7/29/2014 1:04:50 AM] Lawrence: I'm defeated
[7/29/2014 1:05:20 AM] Lawrence: You hate yourself so what's the point
[7/29/2014 1:05:24 AM] Lawrence: I'm never going to help you.
[7/29/2014 1:05:39 AM] Lawrence: I'm never going to do nay good in anyone's life so what is the fucking point
[7/29/2014 1:05:42 AM] Lawrence: Why do I still live?
[7/29/2014 1:05:46 AM] Lawrence: Why the fuck do I breathe?
[7/29/2014 1:05:48 AM] Lawrence: Tell me
[7/29/2014 1:05:51 AM] Redacted: Gee. Thanks.That makes me feel good.
[7/29/2014 1:06:41 AM] Lawrence: Why the fuck do I live and try to exist
[7/29/2014 1:07:01 AM] Lawrence: We haven't had a proper conversation in a long time without you suddenly getting sad.
[7/29/2014 1:07:08 AM] Lawrence: God dammit I just want to have fun like we used to!!!!
[7/29/2014 1:09:21 AM] Lawrence: I can't do this
[7/29/2014 1:09:36 AM] Lawrence: Goodbye
[7/29/2014 1:09:44 AM] Redacted: What?
[7/29/2014 1:09:48 AM] Lawrence: Good bye
[7/29/2014 1:10:05 AM] Redacted: Where are you going?
[7/29/2014 1:10:10 AM] Lawrence: I don't know
[7/29/2014 1:10:17 AM] Redacted: ... Ok.
[7/29/2014 1:12:36 AM] Lawrence: I love you. I'm sorry. Please forget I ever existed.
[7/29/2014 1:13:15 AM] Redacted: What?
[7/29/2014 1:15:08 AM] Lawrence: I'm disappearing.
[7/29/2014 1:15:14 AM] Lawrence: This time no one will find me.
[7/29/2014 1:16:47 AM] Lawrence: ...I'm fine.
[7/29/2014 1:16:49 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry.
[7/29/2014 1:16:56 AM] Lawrence: I don't know what I'm thinking.
[7/29/2014 1:17:02 AM] Redacted: I don't understand.
[7/29/2014 1:17:12 AM] Lawrence: I don't know.
[7/29/2014 1:19:21 AM] Lawrence: I don't mean to hurt you like this.
[7/29/2014 1:19:26 AM] Lawrence: I don't know why I lash out.
[7/29/2014 1:19:29 AM] Redacted: It's fine.
[7/29/2014 1:19:30 AM] Lawrence: I don't know. It happens.
[7/29/2014 1:19:36 AM] Lawrence: I don't understand...
[7/29/2014 1:19:44 AM] Lawrence: I don't understand why I get mad, because it's stupid
[7/29/2014 1:20:18 AM] Lawrence: I'm not mad at you.
[7/29/2014 1:20:32 AM] Lawrence: I understand you get sad but my emotions still make me get angry
[7/29/2014 1:20:46 AM] Redacted: It's fine.
[7/29/2014 1:20:55 AM] Lawrence: If you say so.


"I understand you get sad but my emotions still make me get angry" there it is, folks.
Click to expand...

This is incredibly informative about the kind of person Spring is. Thank you for sharing. If you want to avoid chat logs and just use quotations with context to avoid reminding Spring of who you are, that works too. Don't feel inclined to give info you think would put you at risk. Dumbasses on the internet aren't worth it.
 
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nice time said:
here's something that could be interesting?
this is how he reacted anytime I got upset, or was sad about something. he turned it around to be about him, every time.
I'm really nervous about posting this, fklajsdjasfd.

(context: before this transcript, I told him about a kerfuffle with a friend, and I was upset about it.
also, there was a lot of really bad stuff happening in my life at this point, which you can see him using against me.)

[7/29/2014 1:00:11 AM] Lawrence: Just tell him.
[7/29/2014 1:01:57 AM] Redacted: It's not worth it.
[7/29/2014 1:02:14 AM] Lawrence: It is
[7/29/2014 1:02:55 AM] Lawrence: I don't really want to get upset, please dopn't.
[7/29/2014 1:03:01 AM] Lawrence: I have work tomorrow I cannot go into work upset
[7/29/2014 1:03:06 AM] Redacted: ???????? Why are you blaming this on me
[7/29/2014 1:04:03 AM] Lawrence: Whatever...
[7/29/2014 1:04:05 AM] Lawrence: Nevermind.
[7/29/2014 1:04:09 AM] Lawrence: Get upset. Whatever
[7/29/2014 1:04:44 AM] Redacted: Holy shit what did I do?!
[7/29/2014 1:04:48 AM] Lawrence: Nothing.
[7/29/2014 1:04:50 AM] Lawrence: I'm defeated
[7/29/2014 1:05:20 AM] Lawrence: You hate yourself so what's the point
[7/29/2014 1:05:24 AM] Lawrence: I'm never going to help you.
[7/29/2014 1:05:39 AM] Lawrence: I'm never going to do nay good in anyone's life so what is the fucking point
[7/29/2014 1:05:42 AM] Lawrence: Why do I still live?
[7/29/2014 1:05:46 AM] Lawrence: Why the fuck do I breathe?
[7/29/2014 1:05:48 AM] Lawrence: Tell me
[7/29/2014 1:05:51 AM] Redacted: Gee. Thanks.That makes me feel good.
[7/29/2014 1:06:41 AM] Lawrence: Why the fuck do I live and try to exist
[7/29/2014 1:07:01 AM] Lawrence: We haven't had a proper conversation in a long time without you suddenly getting sad.
[7/29/2014 1:07:08 AM] Lawrence: God dammit I just want to have fun like we used to!!!!
[7/29/2014 1:09:21 AM] Lawrence: I can't do this
[7/29/2014 1:09:36 AM] Lawrence: Goodbye
[7/29/2014 1:09:44 AM] Redacted: What?
[7/29/2014 1:09:48 AM] Lawrence: Good bye
[7/29/2014 1:10:05 AM] Redacted: Where are you going?
[7/29/2014 1:10:10 AM] Lawrence: I don't know
[7/29/2014 1:10:17 AM] Redacted: ... Ok.
[7/29/2014 1:12:36 AM] Lawrence: I love you. I'm sorry. Please forget I ever existed.
[7/29/2014 1:13:15 AM] Redacted: What?
[7/29/2014 1:15:08 AM] Lawrence: I'm disappearing.
[7/29/2014 1:15:14 AM] Lawrence: This time no one will find me.
[7/29/2014 1:16:47 AM] Lawrence: ...I'm fine.
[7/29/2014 1:16:49 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry.
[7/29/2014 1:16:56 AM] Lawrence: I don't know what I'm thinking.
[7/29/2014 1:17:02 AM] Redacted: I don't understand.
[7/29/2014 1:17:12 AM] Lawrence: I don't know.
[7/29/2014 1:19:21 AM] Lawrence: I don't mean to hurt you like this.
[7/29/2014 1:19:26 AM] Lawrence: I don't know why I lash out.
[7/29/2014 1:19:29 AM] Redacted: It's fine.
[7/29/2014 1:19:30 AM] Lawrence: I don't know. It happens.
[7/29/2014 1:19:36 AM] Lawrence: I don't understand...
[7/29/2014 1:19:44 AM] Lawrence: I don't understand why I get mad, because it's stupid
[7/29/2014 1:20:18 AM] Lawrence: I'm not mad at you.
[7/29/2014 1:20:32 AM] Lawrence: I understand you get sad but my emotions still make me get angry
[7/29/2014 1:20:46 AM] Redacted: It's fine.
[7/29/2014 1:20:55 AM] Lawrence: If you say so.


"I understand you get sad but my emotions still make me get angry" there it is, folks.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing. I know you're nervous but don't be - she, like all tumblr edge lords, is a huge coward -- just look how fast she fled the farms, just to skulk around in the shadows, or how she reacted to the call out by running away.
 
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Thank you so much for all of your information, @nice time
Please don't feel pressured to offer more than you have to, but if I were you, I'd turn off anon on your tumblr blog (assuming you have one) in advance in case cronies end up chasing after you. And most importantly, please don't leave your comfort zone to please us. You're dealing with a big bag of crazy here, and you don't deserve to piss them off.
And, any of you who know Lawrence and want to post things without revealing your identity-- you can PM them to me and I can post them without giving out any of your information. Lawrence very clearly knows how to manipulate and hurt people, and y'all don't deserve that.
 
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Red said:
Thank you so much for all of your information, @nice time
Please don't feel pressured to offer more than you have to, but if I were you, I'd turn off anon on your tumblr blog (assuming you have one) in advance in case cronies end up chasing after you. And most importantly, please don't leave your comfort zone to please us. You're dealing with a big bag of crazy here, and you don't deserve to piss them off.
And, any of you who know Lawrence and want to post things without revealing your identity-- you can PM them to me and I can post them without giving out any of your information. Lawrence very clearly knows how to manipulate and hurt people, and y'all don't deserve that.
Click to expand...

I'll definitely take you up on this later, I found a few more things that are worth sharing.

but, yeah, this was an extremely common occurrence with him. I've seen other people say that he's done similar things, saying that he always ranks HIS OWN mental illnesses as "worse" or "more important" than other people's.
and there's the screencaps in the official callout, where he was going to kill himself over someone (a partner, I guess?) being upset.

so... yep. this is an average day with him, really.
 
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Animocity said:
Yep. We called constantly. His vocal tics, which were just odd noises that sometimes happened, only came up when he mentioned he was kin of Tikki Toby, who, unsurprisingly, was written with Tourettes. He also apparently would tic and hit things off his desk, or hit Jeremy if he was walking near him. We didn't really video call so I can't confirm any visual tics.
I'm not going to go too much into it, since I'm not sure if Tourettes consists of ticing constantly or not. I know someone diagnosed with Tourettes that doesn't do vocal tics too much either so...
Click to expand...

I take it Spring never watched that one episode of South Park, then.

Just... good Lord.

nice time said:
here's something that could be interesting?
this is how he reacted anytime I got upset, or was sad about something. he turned it around to be about him, every time.
I'm really nervous about posting this, fklajsdjasfd.

(context: before this transcript, I told him about a kerfuffle with a friend, and I was upset about it.
also, there was a lot of really bad stuff happening in my life at this point, which you can see him using against me.)

[7/29/2014 1:00:11 AM] Lawrence: Just tell him.
[7/29/2014 1:01:57 AM] Redacted: It's not worth it.
[7/29/2014 1:02:14 AM] Lawrence: It is
[7/29/2014 1:02:55 AM] Lawrence: I don't really want to get upset, please dopn't.
[7/29/2014 1:03:01 AM] Lawrence: I have work tomorrow I cannot go into work upset
[7/29/2014 1:03:06 AM] Redacted: ???????? Why are you blaming this on me
[7/29/2014 1:04:03 AM] Lawrence: Whatever...
[7/29/2014 1:04:05 AM] Lawrence: Nevermind.
[7/29/2014 1:04:09 AM] Lawrence: Get upset. Whatever
[7/29/2014 1:04:44 AM] Redacted: Holy shit what did I do?!
[7/29/2014 1:04:48 AM] Lawrence: Nothing.
[7/29/2014 1:04:50 AM] Lawrence: I'm defeated
[7/29/2014 1:05:20 AM] Lawrence: You hate yourself so what's the point
[7/29/2014 1:05:24 AM] Lawrence: I'm never going to help you.
[7/29/2014 1:05:39 AM] Lawrence: I'm never going to do nay good in anyone's life so what is the fucking point
[7/29/2014 1:05:42 AM] Lawrence: Why do I still live?
[7/29/2014 1:05:46 AM] Lawrence: Why the fuck do I breathe?
[7/29/2014 1:05:48 AM] Lawrence: Tell me
[7/29/2014 1:05:51 AM] Redacted: Gee. Thanks.That makes me feel good.
[7/29/2014 1:06:41 AM] Lawrence: Why the fuck do I live and try to exist
[7/29/2014 1:07:01 AM] Lawrence: We haven't had a proper conversation in a long time without you suddenly getting sad.
[7/29/2014 1:07:08 AM] Lawrence: God dammit I just want to have fun like we used to!!!!
[7/29/2014 1:09:21 AM] Lawrence: I can't do this
[7/29/2014 1:09:36 AM] Lawrence: Goodbye
[7/29/2014 1:09:44 AM] Redacted: What?
[7/29/2014 1:09:48 AM] Lawrence: Good bye
[7/29/2014 1:10:05 AM] Redacted: Where are you going?
[7/29/2014 1:10:10 AM] Lawrence: I don't know
[7/29/2014 1:10:17 AM] Redacted: ... Ok.
[7/29/2014 1:12:36 AM] Lawrence: I love you. I'm sorry. Please forget I ever existed.
[7/29/2014 1:13:15 AM] Redacted: What?
[7/29/2014 1:15:08 AM] Lawrence: I'm disappearing.
[7/29/2014 1:15:14 AM] Lawrence: This time no one will find me.
[7/29/2014 1:16:47 AM] Lawrence: ...I'm fine.
[7/29/2014 1:16:49 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry.
[7/29/2014 1:16:56 AM] Lawrence: I don't know what I'm thinking.
[7/29/2014 1:17:02 AM] Redacted: I don't understand.
[7/29/2014 1:17:12 AM] Lawrence: I don't know.
[7/29/2014 1:19:21 AM] Lawrence: I don't mean to hurt you like this.
[7/29/2014 1:19:26 AM] Lawrence: I don't know why I lash out.
[7/29/2014 1:19:29 AM] Redacted: It's fine.
[7/29/2014 1:19:30 AM] Lawrence: I don't know. It happens.
[7/29/2014 1:19:36 AM] Lawrence: I don't understand...
[7/29/2014 1:19:44 AM] Lawrence: I don't understand why I get mad, because it's stupid
[7/29/2014 1:20:18 AM] Lawrence: I'm not mad at you.
[7/29/2014 1:20:32 AM] Lawrence: I understand you get sad but my emotions still make me get angry
[7/29/2014 1:20:46 AM] Redacted: It's fine.
[7/29/2014 1:20:55 AM] Lawrence: If you say so.


"I understand you get sad but my emotions still make me get angry" there it is, folks.
Click to expand...

This is so disgustingly flagrant in terms of emotional manipulation that I'm just kind of gobsmacked.
 
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nice time said:
but, yeah, this was an extremely common occurrence with him. I've seen other people say that he's done similar things, saying that he always ranks HIS OWN mental illnesses as "worse" or "more important" than other people's.
and there's the screencaps in the official callout, where he was going to kill himself over someone (a partner, I guess?) being upset.

so... yep. this is an average day with him, really.
Click to expand...
I can second this. He's done this sort of thing often with me as well. Even going so far as to rank certain people's mental issues over mine. (Almost always the "newest big thing" person.) Springy got first rank of importance, after that came the new partners/friends/whatevers. Always the people who knew him longer got treated like chopped liver, being similar to boring, old toys.
 
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Wumbology said:
I can second this. He's done this sort of thing often with me as well. Even going so far as to rank certain people's mental issues over mine. (Almost always the "newest big thing" person.) Springy got first rank of importance, after that came the new partners/friends/whatevers. Always the people who knew him longer got treated like chopped liver, being similar to boring, old toys.
Click to expand...

as someone who was around him for almost three years: this is so extremely true.
he likes new people, especially ones who knew nothing of him, because he can get away with more.
but, eventually, new toys get old and rusted, right?

I think the worst part of all of this for me is that I always told myself, and the very few people that I confided in about him, was that this was an isolated thing. I assumed that I was the only person he would do this to, because I had no reason to believe otherwise. everyone else loved him, and he was GREAT at saving face back then, so there was no way that he was doing this to others, that's what I thought.
but now I'm seeing all of these people (especially his exes, a lot of which I was even friends with back when) coming out and saying he did the exact same thing to them, and I wish I would've been more aware. people could've found out about his disgusting ass sooner.
 
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nice time said:
as someone who was around him for almost three years: this is so extremely true.
he likes new people, especially ones who knew nothing of him, because he can get away with more.
but, eventually, new toys get old and rusted, right?

I think the worst part of all of this for me is that I always told myself, and the very few people that I confided in about him, was that this was an isolated thing. I assumed that I was the only person he would do this to, because I had no reason to believe otherwise. everyone else loved him, and he was GREAT at saving face back then, so there was no way that he was doing this to others, that's what I thought.
but now I'm seeing all of these people (especially his exes, a lot of which I was even friends with back when) coming out and saying he did the exact same thing to them, and I wish I would've been more aware. people could've found out about his disgusting ass sooner.
Click to expand...
Shitty people inevitably expose themselves for what they really are.
It's pretty apparent "he" uses people as an emotional dumping ground, without regard to their own feelings. What a shithead.
I'm curious though, what's your overall take on this so far? What do you think needs to happen to pull spergtrapp out of this manipulative cycle? I understand you're worried about exposing yourself, but you need to understand that people like this have far less influence than they seem.
 
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Wumbology said:
I can second this. He's done this sort of thing often with me as well. Even going so far as to rank certain people's mental issues over mine. (Almost always the "newest big thing" person.) Springy got first rank of importance, after that came the new partners/friends/whatevers. Always the people who knew him longer got treated like chopped liver, being similar to boring, old toys.
Click to expand...
God. Even I can vouch for this and I only knew him for about a year. I'm sure a lot of people have transcripts of just messaging him for days with no answer, because that's how far he'd go to neglect people.
 
Red said:
Thank you so much for all of your information, @nice time
you can PM them to me and I can post them without giving out any of your information. Lawrence very clearly knows how to manipulate and hurt people, and y'all don't deserve that.
Click to expand...

If the others want to do that too that'll be good, it'll be harder for Spring to remember when it's someone else saying it and there are multiple sources of information.

Another thing; if people don't want to reveal that they knew Spring in the thread but want to provide info, we should look into getting some sort of way of verifying this info without having to reveal someone. Maybe through PM's with someone like @Meowthkip, that way we can trust the information given but not have to say which user said what. I'm happy to help in whatever way I can with this too should we find there's a need for it.
 
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Dr. Boe Jangles Esq. said:
Shitty people inevitably expose themselves for what they really are.
It's pretty apparent "he" uses people as an emotional dumping ground, without regard to their own feelings. What a shithead.
I'm curious though, what's your overall take on this so far? What do you think needs to happen to pull spergtrapp out of this manipulative cycle? I understand you're worried about exposing yourself, but you need to understand that people like this have far less influence than they seem.
Click to expand...


first things first: he needs to get the fuck off of Tumblr, and get friends and partners his own age. he's almost 20 years old, and there's no excuse for his behavior anymore.

in my opinion, he needs to see a professional. not even a doctor, just a therapist, or someone who can teach him how to deal with the problems he claims he has.
with his behavior and patterns, I can't imagine him ever changing without SERIOUS help.
 
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Karnon said:
If the others want to do that too that'll be good, it'll be harder for Spring to remember when it's someone else saying it and there are multiple sources of information.

Another thing; if people don't want to reveal that they knew Spring in the thread but want to provide info, we should look into getting some sort of way of verifying this info without having to reveal someone. Maybe through PM's with someone like @Meowthkip, that way we can trust the information given but not have to say which user said what. I'm happy to help in whatever way I can with this too should we find there's a need for it.
Click to expand...

I'm willing to help with that.

Also, to anybody who's worried about consequences of discussing manipulative Tumblr crazies, in a few months, we transformed Vade from a formidable force on Tumblr to a skulking coward keeping her head low due to just how fucked up we discovered she was. And Vade's emotional abuse and neglect resulted in her boyfriend's suicide.

Springtrapp is small time. People like her and Vade are like cockroaches; they scatter when you shine a light on them.
 
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Animocity said:
God. Even I can vouch for this and I only knew him for about a year. I'm sure a lot of people have transcripts of just messaging him for days with no answer, because that's how far he'd go to neglect people.
Click to expand...
I'm definitely one of those people. Spans of days with no reply whatsoever, and could be longer if you discredit the days between that had maybe a "hi' and then nothing else.
 
another one.

I'm going to split this one into three parts, though, it's easier to take in that way.
warning: a shit load of text incoming.

(admittingly, I could have handled this scenario better, I won't lie about that.)

the context to this is... kind of confusing? I don't want to post the whole thing for personal reasons.
basically, I asked to talk about a movie I liked, and I was being ignored and talked over, so I got kind of sad about it.
(obligatory "I have a lot of mental health problems" disclaimer.)
his response to me being upset was telling me I'm "freaking out" by being sad. here's the ensuing conversation.
[8/5/2014 2:29:53 AM] Lawrence: That was shitty. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
[8/5/2014 2:30:09 AM] Redacted: Stop apologizing. It's not helping.
[8/5/2014 2:30:15 AM] Lawrence: I can't
[8/5/2014 2:30:18 AM] Lawrence: IO literally cannot stop
[8/5/2014 2:30:43 AM] Lawrence: I know I fucked up and I know it's not heling but I can't stop
[8/5/2014 2:31:21 AM] Redacted: Do whatever you want.
[8/5/2014 2:31:26 AM] Lawrence: I don't want to
[8/5/2014 2:31:40 AM] Lawrence: I'll talk to you about it I'm sorry
[8/5/2014 2:31:49 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry you felt ignored
[8/5/2014 2:32:01 AM] Redacted: I don't want to.
[8/5/2014 2:32:17 AM] Lawrence: WHy not?
[8/5/2014 2:32:26 AM] Redacted: I don't want to anymore.
[8/5/2014 2:32:32 AM] Lawrence: Okay
[8/5/2014 2:32:36 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry for fucking up
[8/5/2014 2:33:22 AM] Lawrence: It's my fault, I fucked up, and you did nothing wrong
[8/5/2014 2:33:32 AM] Redacted: I know I didn't.
[8/5/2014 2:33:56 AM] Lawrence: I want to talk about you with your interests, you could have asked me.
[8/5/2014 2:34:03 AM] Redacted: I DID.
[8/5/2014 2:34:18 AM] Lawrence: I didn't see it I literally didn't and by the time you told me you were already upset
[8/5/2014 2:34:32 AM] Redacted: How was I supposed to know that.
[8/5/2014 2:34:34 AM] Redacted: Please tell me.
[8/5/2014 2:34:38 AM] Lawrence: You weren't.
[8/5/2014 2:34:56 AM] Lawrence: I'm not saying you were in the wrong I literally was.
[8/5/2014 2:35:18 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry
[8/5/2014 2:36:37 AM] Lawrence: i can disappear if you'd like
[8/5/2014 2:36:48 AM] Redacted: I never said that.
[8/5/2014 2:36:51 AM] Lawrence: i know
[8/5/2014 2:37:02 AM] Lawrence: but i fucked up hard this time and didn't mean to and ruined us and i should disappear
[8/5/2014 2:37:14 AM] Redacted: You didn't ruin us.
[8/5/2014 2:37:22 AM] Lawrence: yes i did
[8/5/2014 2:37:34 AM] Redacted: You didn't.
[8/5/2014 2:37:39 AM] Redacted: I'm hurt but we're not ruined.
[8/5/2014 2:38:07 AM] Lawrence: i think what i said came out wrong and i didnt mean for it to be so ass holey
[8/5/2014 2:38:17 AM] Redacted: I can't see how that's possible.
[8/5/2014 2:38:35 AM] Lawrence: i just meant to say that no one else in the chat except me has seen the movie
[8/5/2014 2:39:00 AM] Redacted: So you're telling me that being sad is me freaking out.
[8/5/2014 2:39:02 AM] Lawrence: adding the last snarky part was totally unnesccary and shitty on my end
[8/5/2014 2:39:18 AM] Lawrence: no it's not
[8/5/2014 2:39:33 AM] Lawrence: that's what i'm saying was that it was shitty and i shouldn't have even said that
[8/5/2014 2:39:48 AM] Redacted: Lol, you think.
[8/5/2014 2:40:18 AM] Lawrence: yes it was shitty
[8/5/2014 2:40:30 AM] Lawrence: i would not be surprised if you dumped me

[8/5/2014 2:41:15 AM] Lawrence: i'm sorry
[8/5/2014 2:41:29 AM] Lawrence: i wouldnt be surprised if you dumped me and made a callout post about me
[8/5/2014 2:41:38 AM] Redacted: I'm not going to.
[8/5/2014 2:41:52 AM] Lawrence: you want to
[8/5/2014 2:42:01 AM] Redacted: No.
[8/5/2014 2:42:08 AM] Lawrence: youre just scared im going to off myself
[8/5/2014 2:42:22 AM] Redacted: No I'm not.
[8/5/2014 2:42:43 AM] Lawrence: i understand if you dont love me anymore
[8/5/2014 2:42:55 AM] Redacted: Stop making shit up.
[8/5/2014 2:43:05 AM] Lawrence: im allowed to be paranoid
[8/5/2014 2:43:37 AM] Lawrence: im allowed to tell you that i understand if you do that
[8/5/2014 2:43:47 AM] Redacted: Ok.
[8/5/2014 2:44:34 AM] Lawrence: i just understand
[8/5/2014 2:44:36 AM] Lawrence: i rerally do
[8/5/2014 2:44:46 AM] Lawrence: you cant say im not abusive anymore because i am
[8/5/2014 2:44:53 AM] Redacted: You're not.
[8/5/2014 2:45:07 AM] Lawrence: stop lying to yourself please
[8/5/2014 2:45:18 AM] Redacted: I'm not.
[8/5/2014 2:45:22 AM] Lawrence: saying what i just said is a step behind what [abuser] said
[8/5/2014 2:45:31 AM] Redacted: Stop.
[8/5/2014 2:45:37 AM] Lawrence: you can say i'm abusive
[8/5/2014 2:45:39 AM] Lawrence: i will work on it
[8/5/2014 2:45:42 AM] Lawrence: i won't get offended
[8/5/2014 2:45:46 AM] Lawrence: i will control my anger
[8/5/2014 2:45:50 AM] Redacted: Stop.
[8/5/2014 2:45:53 AM] Lawrence: ill watch my mouth
[8/5/2014 2:46:18 AM] Redacted: You're not abusive but you need to not fucking snap at me for being sad.
[8/5/2014 2:47:16 AM] Lawrence: i know and i have no idea why i get upset
[8/5/2014 2:48:43 AM] Lawrence: i really dont know
[8/5/2014 2:48:53 AM] Lawrence: i dont know and i always feel like shit after
[8/5/2014 2:48:58 AM] Lawrence: it happens and i dont know why
[8/5/2014 2:49:06 AM] Redacted: I don't know either.
[8/5/2014 2:49:23 AM] Lawrence: i dont know
[8/5/2014 2:49:29 AM] Lawrence: you can talk about [movie]
[8/5/2014 2:49:33 AM] Lawrence: i want you to
[8/5/2014 2:50:04 AM] Redacted: I don't want to.
[8/5/2014 2:50:10 AM] Lawrence: but i want you to
[8/5/2014 2:50:34 AM] Lawrence: [friend] didnt see the message either
[8/5/2014 2:50:39 AM] Redacted: Ok?
[8/5/2014 2:50:54 AM] Lawrence: i was just telling you no one was ignoring you
[8/5/2014 2:51:13 AM] Redacted: Ok.
[8/5/2014 2:51:20 AM] Lawrence: sorry
[8/5/2014 2:51:25 AM] Lawrence: that was shitting of me too i guess
[8/5/2014 2:51:29 AM] Lawrence: shitty
[8/5/2014 2:51:30 AM] Redacted: What?
[8/5/2014 2:51:39 AM] Lawrence: i guess saying that was shitty?
[8/5/2014 2:51:44 AM] Lawrence: the thing about [friend]
[8/5/2014 2:52:02 AM] Redacted: I don't understand why but sure???
[8/5/2014 2:52:15 AM] Lawrence: you got upset again
[8/5/2014 2:52:23 AM] Redacted: ?????? No I didn't?????/
[8/5/2014 2:52:28 AM] Redacted: I had no idea why you said it.
[8/5/2014 2:52:35 AM] Lawrence: usually when you just say ok you're upset
[8/5/2014 2:52:47 AM] Redacted: I said ok because ok.
[8/5/2014 2:52:57 AM] Lawrence: idk i think i'm going to stop playing [game] forever
[8/5/2014 2:53:06 AM] Redacted: ...??? Ok.
[8/5/2014 2:53:20 AM] Lawrence: all it leads to is me ignoring you so i wont play it anymore
[8/5/2014 2:53:29 AM] Redacted: Sure then.
[8/5/2014 2:53:31 AM] Lawrence: not like it's fun anyway
[8/5/2014 2:53:42 AM] Redacted: ??? Lol ok.
[8/5/2014 2:53:46 AM] Lawrence: what?
[8/5/2014 2:53:52 AM] Lawrence: why are you getting upset over this ??
[8/5/2014 2:53:58 AM] Lawrence: i'm just trying to pay more attention to you
[8/5/2014 2:54:24 AM] Redacted: Because your reasons are bullshit and you know you don't believe tthem. If it wasn't fun for you then you wouldn't keep playing it.
[8/5/2014 2:54:29 AM] Redacted: I don't care if you keep playing.
[8/5/2014 2:54:50 AM] Lawrence: if you want me to stop playing it i will
[8/5/2014 2:55:00 AM] Redacted: I never said that.
[8/5/2014 2:55:01 AM] Lawrence: just tell me what to do
[8/5/2014 2:55:07 AM] Redacted: No.
8/5/2014 2:55:13 AM] Lawrence: please tell me how i can stop these fights they're starting to hurt my mental health
[8/5/2014 2:55:28 AM] Redacted: Don't ask me.
[8/5/2014 2:55:44 AM] Lawrence: i donmt undrtstadn what that means
[8/5/2014 2:55:59 AM] Redacted: I don't know what to tell you.
[8/5/2014 2:56:03 AM] Redacted: I'm not you. I'm not in your head.
[8/5/2014 2:56:14 AM] Redacted: I don't know how to stop whatever is going on.
[8/5/2014 2:56:22 AM] Lawrence: that
[8/5/2014 2:56:27 AM] Lawrence: made me feel a little shitty actually um
[8/5/2014 2:56:34 AM] Lawrence: i dont like that wording it feels gross to me idk
[8/5/2014 2:56:40 AM] Redacted: ...?? I don't understand why?
[8/5/2014 2:56:45 AM] Lawrence: i doint know it just hurt
[8/5/2014 2:56:48 AM] Lawrence: a lot idk
[8/5/2014 2:57:19 AM] Redacted: I'm sorry? I don't understand how anything I said was bad?
[8/5/2014 2:57:36 AM] Lawrence: i dont know i think the truth just hurts
[8/5/2014 2:57:37 AM] Redacted: I don't know how to help you stop whatever you're feeling if I'm not you.
[8/5/2014 2:57:55 AM] Lawrence: i think it was the "whatever is going on" it sounded ableist and like you were blaming my psychosis
[8/5/2014 2:58:06 AM] Lawrence: because of the whole "i'm not in your head" thing
[8/5/2014 2:58:18 AM] Redacted: I don't see how that's ableist at all.
[8/5/2014 2:58:18 AM] Lawrence: that isn't your fault though
[8/5/2014 2:58:26 AM] Redacted: I mean your mind, your thoughts, not your mental disorders.
[8/5/2014 2:58:37 AM] Lawrence: i know.
[8/5/2014 2:58:42 AM] Lawrence: that's why i said it wasn't your fault
[8/5/2014 2:59:31 AM] Lawrence: it wasnt your fault you worded it funny and sounded ableist it really isnt
[8/5/2014 2:59:40 AM] Redacted: Ok.
[8/5/2014 3:00:06 AM] Lawrence: just tell me what to do i dont want to lose you
[8/5/2014 3:00:15 AM] Lawrence: i did this with [ex] and it worked for a while too
[8/5/2014 3:00:28 AM] Lawrence: he told me to stop trying to force him not to play games and being so needy
[8/5/2014 3:00:30 AM] Lawrence: so just give me goals
[8/5/2014 3:00:34 AM] Lawrence: tell me what to do please
[8/5/2014 3:00:36 AM] Redacted: No.
[8/5/2014 3:00:46 AM] Lawrence: please just give me goals i dont know how to help myself
[8/5/2014 3:00:53 AM] Lawrence: i dont want to lose you
[8/5/2014 3:01:01 AM] Redacted: I don't know how to help you either.
[8/5/2014 3:01:12 AM] Redacted: Like I said. I don't know what goes on in your thoughts. I can't help.
[8/5/2014 3:01:20 AM] Lawrence: im scared
[8/5/2014 3:01:52 AM] Lawrence: im scared im going to lose you
[8/5/2014 3:02:12 AM] Lawrence: from now on i wont get upset at you being sad, i'll redirect that weird irrational anger somewhere else
[8/5/2014 3:02:21 AM] Redacted: Ok.
[8/5/2014 3:02:33 AM] Lawrence: am i going to lose you?
[8/5/2014 3:02:38 AM] Redacted: No.
[8/5/2014 3:02:44 AM] Lawrence: are you sure?
[8/5/2014 3:03:14 AM] Redacted: Yes.
[8/5/2014 3:04:21 AM] Lawrence: im still scared
[8/5/2014 3:04:31 AM] Lawrence: i know it's getting to the pioint where you want to dump me
[8/5/2014 3:04:38 AM] Redacted: It's not.

[8/5/2014 3:04:47 AM] Lawrence: youre getting tired of my shit
[8/5/2014 3:04:49 AM] Lawrence: youve changed
[8/5/2014 3:04:51 AM] Lawrence: and thats ok
[8/5/2014 3:04:56 AM] Lawrence: its good to stand up for yourself
[8/5/2014 3:05:03 AM] Lawrence: i wouldnt recognize my abusive behavior otherwise
[8/5/2014 3:06:48 AM] Redacted: I'm not going to lay down and give up if I know I did nothing wrong.
[8/5/2014 3:07:16 AM] Lawrence: and i wouldnt know about my emotionally abusive behavior if you dint stand up for yourself
[8/5/2014 3:07:20 AM] Lawrence: youve gotten better
[8/5/2014 3:07:24 AM] Lawrence: you really have and i'm proud
[8/5/2014 3:07:39 AM] Redacted: Thanks I guess.
[8/5/2014 3:07:52 AM] Lawrence: im sorry is that not good did i fuck up again
[8/5/2014 3:07:57 AM] Lawrence: im trying to watch my words
[8/5/2014 3:08:06 AM] Redacted: No.
[8/5/2014 3:08:13 AM] Redacted: I don't know how else to reply to that though.
[8/5/2014 3:08:32 AM] Lawrence: i dont know it sounds bad now that i read it
[8/5/2014 3:08:33 AM] Lawrence: sorry
[8/5/2014 3:08:43 AM] Redacted: It's not.
[8/5/2014 3:08:54 AM] Lawrence: you have been nothing but kind to me and you dont deserve my abusive treatment
[8/5/2014 3:13:22 AM] Lawrence: i'm sorry
[8/5/2014 3:13:35 AM] Redacted: It's fine.


HE TOLD ME HE WAS PROUD OF ME FOR STANDING UP TO HIS ABUSE.
fucking asshole.

I've grown up with abusive family members, without giving out too many details. whenever we would fight like this, it would always end with me saying "it's fine", or "it's ok", and that's exactly how I would speak with my abusive family members when things would happen.
a lot of our relationship felt like an echo of the way my family treated me, and the way I reacted to them, and it scared me a lot. I didn't realize that until the end, though, which is a major part in why I got out.
 
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nice time said:
another one.

I'm going to split this one into three parts, though, it's easier to take in that way.
warning: a shit load of text incoming.

(admittingly, I could have handled this scenario better, I won't lie about that.)

the context to this is... kind of confusing? I don't want to post the whole thing for personal reasons.
basically, I asked to talk about a movie I liked, and I was being ignored and talked over, so I got kind of sad about it.
(obligatory "I have a lot of mental health problems" disclaimer.)
his response to me being upset was telling me I'm "freaking out" by being sad. here's the ensuing conversation.
[8/5/2014 2:29:53 AM] Lawrence: That was shitty. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
[8/5/2014 2:30:09 AM] Redacted: Stop apologizing. It's not helping.
[8/5/2014 2:30:15 AM] Lawrence: I can't
[8/5/2014 2:30:18 AM] Lawrence: IO literally cannot stop
[8/5/2014 2:30:43 AM] Lawrence: I know I fucked up and I know it's not heling but I can't stop
[8/5/2014 2:31:21 AM] Redacted: Do whatever you want.
[8/5/2014 2:31:26 AM] Lawrence: I don't want to
[8/5/2014 2:31:40 AM] Lawrence: I'll talk to you about it I'm sorry
[8/5/2014 2:31:49 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry you felt ignored
[8/5/2014 2:32:01 AM] Redacted: I don't want to.
[8/5/2014 2:32:17 AM] Lawrence: WHy not?
[8/5/2014 2:32:26 AM] Redacted: I don't want to anymore.
[8/5/2014 2:32:32 AM] Lawrence: Okay
[8/5/2014 2:32:36 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry for fucking up
[8/5/2014 2:33:22 AM] Lawrence: It's my fault, I fucked up, and you did nothing wrong
[8/5/2014 2:33:32 AM] Redacted: I know I didn't.
[8/5/2014 2:33:56 AM] Lawrence: I want to talk about you with your interests, you could have asked me.
[8/5/2014 2:34:03 AM] Redacted: I DID.
[8/5/2014 2:34:18 AM] Lawrence: I didn't see it I literally didn't and by the time you told me you were already upset
[8/5/2014 2:34:32 AM] Redacted: How was I supposed to know that.
[8/5/2014 2:34:34 AM] Redacted: Please tell me.
[8/5/2014 2:34:38 AM] Lawrence: You weren't.
[8/5/2014 2:34:56 AM] Lawrence: I'm not saying you were in the wrong I literally was.
[8/5/2014 2:35:18 AM] Lawrence: I'm sorry
[8/5/2014 2:36:37 AM] Lawrence: i can disappear if you'd like
[8/5/2014 2:36:48 AM] Redacted: I never said that.
[8/5/2014 2:36:51 AM] Lawrence: i know
[8/5/2014 2:37:02 AM] Lawrence: but i fucked up hard this time and didn't mean to and ruined us and i should disappear
[8/5/2014 2:37:14 AM] Redacted: You didn't ruin us.
[8/5/2014 2:37:22 AM] Lawrence: yes i did
[8/5/2014 2:37:34 AM] Redacted: You didn't.
[8/5/2014 2:37:39 AM] Redacted: I'm hurt but we're not ruined.
[8/5/2014 2:38:07 AM] Lawrence: i think what i said came out wrong and i didnt mean for it to be so ass holey
[8/5/2014 2:38:17 AM] Redacted: I can't see how that's possible.
[8/5/2014 2:38:35 AM] Lawrence: i just meant to say that no one else in the chat except me has seen the movie
[8/5/2014 2:39:00 AM] Redacted: So you're telling me that being sad is me freaking out.
[8/5/2014 2:39:02 AM] Lawrence: adding the last snarky part was totally unnesccary and shitty on my end
[8/5/2014 2:39:18 AM] Lawrence: no it's not
[8/5/2014 2:39:33 AM] Lawrence: that's what i'm saying was that it was shitty and i shouldn't have even said that
[8/5/2014 2:39:48 AM] Redacted: Lol, you think.
[8/5/2014 2:40:18 AM] Lawrence: yes it was shitty
[8/5/2014 2:40:30 AM] Lawrence: i would not be surprised if you dumped me

[8/5/2014 2:41:15 AM] Lawrence: i'm sorry
[8/5/2014 2:41:29 AM] Lawrence: i wouldnt be surprised if you dumped me and made a callout post about me
[8/5/2014 2:41:38 AM] Redacted: I'm not going to.
[8/5/2014 2:41:52 AM] Lawrence: you want to
[8/5/2014 2:42:01 AM] Redacted: No.
[8/5/2014 2:42:08 AM] Lawrence: youre just scared im going to off myself
[8/5/2014 2:42:22 AM] Redacted: No I'm not.
[8/5/2014 2:42:43 AM] Lawrence: i understand if you dont love me anymore
[8/5/2014 2:42:55 AM] Redacted: Stop making shit up.
[8/5/2014 2:43:05 AM] Lawrence: im allowed to be paranoid
[8/5/2014 2:43:37 AM] Lawrence: im allowed to tell you that i understand if you do that
[8/5/2014 2:43:47 AM] Redacted: Ok.
[8/5/2014 2:44:34 AM] Lawrence: i just understand
[8/5/2014 2:44:36 AM] Lawrence: i rerally do
[8/5/2014 2:44:46 AM] Lawrence: you cant say im not abusive anymore because i am
[8/5/2014 2:44:53 AM] Redacted: You're not.
[8/5/2014 2:45:07 AM] Lawrence: stop lying to yourself please
[8/5/2014 2:45:18 AM] Redacted: I'm not.
[8/5/2014 2:45:22 AM] Lawrence: saying what i just said is a step behind what [abuser] said
[8/5/2014 2:45:31 AM] Redacted: Stop.
[8/5/2014 2:45:37 AM] Lawrence: you can say i'm abusive
[8/5/2014 2:45:39 AM] Lawrence: i will work on it
[8/5/2014 2:45:42 AM] Lawrence: i won't get offended
[8/5/2014 2:45:46 AM] Lawrence: i will control my anger
[8/5/2014 2:45:50 AM] Redacted: Stop.
[8/5/2014 2:45:53 AM] Lawrence: ill watch my mouth
[8/5/2014 2:46:18 AM] Redacted: You're not abusive but you need to not fucking snap at me for being sad.
[8/5/2014 2:47:16 AM] Lawrence: i know and i have no idea why i get upset
[8/5/2014 2:48:43 AM] Lawrence: i really dont know
[8/5/2014 2:48:53 AM] Lawrence: i dont know and i always feel like shit after
[8/5/2014 2:48:58 AM] Lawrence: it happens and i dont know why
[8/5/2014 2:49:06 AM] Redacted: I don't know either.
[8/5/2014 2:49:23 AM] Lawrence: i dont know
[8/5/2014 2:49:29 AM] Lawrence: you can talk about [movie]
[8/5/2014 2:49:33 AM] Lawrence: i want you to
[8/5/2014 2:50:04 AM] Redacted: I don't want to.
[8/5/2014 2:50:10 AM] Lawrence: but i want you to
[8/5/2014 2:50:34 AM] Lawrence: [friend] didnt see the message either
[8/5/2014 2:50:39 AM] Redacted: Ok?
[8/5/2014 2:50:54 AM] Lawrence: i was just telling you no one was ignoring you
[8/5/2014 2:51:13 AM] Redacted: Ok.
[8/5/2014 2:51:20 AM] Lawrence: sorry
[8/5/2014 2:51:25 AM] Lawrence: that was shitting of me too i guess
[8/5/2014 2:51:29 AM] Lawrence: shitty
[8/5/2014 2:51:30 AM] Redacted: What?
[8/5/2014 2:51:39 AM] Lawrence: i guess saying that was shitty?
[8/5/2014 2:51:44 AM] Lawrence: the thing about [friend]
[8/5/2014 2:52:02 AM] Redacted: I don't understand why but sure???
[8/5/2014 2:52:15 AM] Lawrence: you got upset again
[8/5/2014 2:52:23 AM] Redacted: ?????? No I didn't?????/
[8/5/2014 2:52:28 AM] Redacted: I had no idea why you said it.
[8/5/2014 2:52:35 AM] Lawrence: usually when you just say ok you're upset
[8/5/2014 2:52:47 AM] Redacted: I said ok because ok.
[8/5/2014 2:52:57 AM] Lawrence: idk i think i'm going to stop playing [game] forever
[8/5/2014 2:53:06 AM] Redacted: ...??? Ok.
[8/5/2014 2:53:20 AM] Lawrence: all it leads to is me ignoring you so i wont play it anymore
[8/5/2014 2:53:29 AM] Redacted: Sure then.
[8/5/2014 2:53:31 AM] Lawrence: not like it's fun anyway
[8/5/2014 2:53:42 AM] Redacted: ??? Lol ok.
[8/5/2014 2:53:46 AM] Lawrence: what?
[8/5/2014 2:53:52 AM] Lawrence: why are you getting upset over this ??
[8/5/2014 2:53:58 AM] Lawrence: i'm just trying to pay more attention to you
[8/5/2014 2:54:24 AM] Redacted: Because your reasons are bullshit and you know you don't believe tthem. If it wasn't fun for you then you wouldn't keep playing it.
[8/5/2014 2:54:29 AM] Redacted: I don't care if you keep playing.
[8/5/2014 2:54:50 AM] Lawrence: if you want me to stop playing it i will
[8/5/2014 2:55:00 AM] Redacted: I never said that.
[8/5/2014 2:55:01 AM] Lawrence: just tell me what to do
[8/5/2014 2:55:07 AM] Redacted: No.
8/5/2014 2:55:13 AM] Lawrence: please tell me how i can stop these fights they're starting to hurt my mental health
[8/5/2014 2:55:28 AM] Redacted: Don't ask me.
[8/5/2014 2:55:44 AM] Lawrence: i donmt undrtstadn what that means
[8/5/2014 2:55:59 AM] Redacted: I don't know what to tell you.
[8/5/2014 2:56:03 AM] Redacted: I'm not you. I'm not in your head.
[8/5/2014 2:56:14 AM] Redacted: I don't know how to stop whatever is going on.
[8/5/2014 2:56:22 AM] Lawrence: that
[8/5/2014 2:56:27 AM] Lawrence: made me feel a little shitty actually um
[8/5/2014 2:56:34 AM] Lawrence: i dont like that wording it feels gross to me idk
[8/5/2014 2:56:40 AM] Redacted: ...?? I don't understand why?
[8/5/2014 2:56:45 AM] Lawrence: i doint know it just hurt
[8/5/2014 2:56:48 AM] Lawrence: a lot idk
[8/5/2014 2:57:19 AM] Redacted: I'm sorry? I don't understand how anything I said was bad?
[8/5/2014 2:57:36 AM] Lawrence: i dont know i think the truth just hurts
[8/5/2014 2:57:37 AM] Redacted: I don't know how to help you stop whatever you're feeling if I'm not you.
[8/5/2014 2:57:55 AM] Lawrence: i think it was the "whatever is going on" it sounded ableist and like you were blaming my psychosis
[8/5/2014 2:58:06 AM] Lawrence: because of the whole "i'm not in your head" thing
[8/5/2014 2:58:18 AM] Redacted: I don't see how that's ableist at all.
[8/5/2014 2:58:18 AM] Lawrence: that isn't your fault though
[8/5/2014 2:58:26 AM] Redacted: I mean your mind, your thoughts, not your mental disorders.
[8/5/2014 2:58:37 AM] Lawrence: i know.
[8/5/2014 2:58:42 AM] Lawrence: that's why i said it wasn't your fault
[8/5/2014 2:59:31 AM] Lawrence: it wasnt your fault you worded it funny and sounded ableist it really isnt
[8/5/2014 2:59:40 AM] Redacted: Ok.
[8/5/2014 3:00:06 AM] Lawrence: just tell me what to do i dont want to lose you
[8/5/2014 3:00:15 AM] Lawrence: i did this with [ex] and it worked for a while too
[8/5/2014 3:00:28 AM] Lawrence: he told me to stop trying to force him not to play games and being so needy
[8/5/2014 3:00:30 AM] Lawrence: so just give me goals
[8/5/2014 3:00:34 AM] Lawrence: tell me what to do please
[8/5/2014 3:00:36 AM] Redacted: No.
[8/5/2014 3:00:46 AM] Lawrence: please just give me goals i dont know how to help myself
[8/5/2014 3:00:53 AM] Lawrence: i dont want to lose you
[8/5/2014 3:01:01 AM] Redacted: I don't know how to help you either.
[8/5/2014 3:01:12 AM] Redacted: Like I said. I don't know what goes on in your thoughts. I can't help.
[8/5/2014 3:01:20 AM] Lawrence: im scared
[8/5/2014 3:01:52 AM] Lawrence: im scared im going to lose you
[8/5/2014 3:02:12 AM] Lawrence: from now on i wont get upset at you being sad, i'll redirect that weird irrational anger somewhere else
[8/5/2014 3:02:21 AM] Redacted: Ok.
[8/5/2014 3:02:33 AM] Lawrence: am i going to lose you?
[8/5/2014 3:02:38 AM] Redacted: No.
[8/5/2014 3:02:44 AM] Lawrence: are you sure?
[8/5/2014 3:03:14 AM] Redacted: Yes.
[8/5/2014 3:04:21 AM] Lawrence: im still scared
[8/5/2014 3:04:31 AM] Lawrence: i know it's getting to the pioint where you want to dump me
[8/5/2014 3:04:38 AM] Redacted: It's not.

[8/5/2014 3:04:47 AM] Lawrence: youre getting tired of my shit
[8/5/2014 3:04:49 AM] Lawrence: youve changed
[8/5/2014 3:04:51 AM] Lawrence: and thats ok
[8/5/2014 3:04:56 AM] Lawrence: its good to stand up for yourself
[8/5/2014 3:05:03 AM] Lawrence: i wouldnt recognize my abusive behavior otherwise
[8/5/2014 3:06:48 AM] Redacted: I'm not going to lay down and give up if I know I did nothing wrong.
[8/5/2014 3:07:16 AM] Lawrence: and i wouldnt know about my emotionally abusive behavior if you dint stand up for yourself
[8/5/2014 3:07:20 AM] Lawrence: youve gotten better
[8/5/2014 3:07:24 AM] Lawrence: you really have and i'm proud
[8/5/2014 3:07:39 AM] Redacted: Thanks I guess.
[8/5/2014 3:07:52 AM] Lawrence: im sorry is that not good did i fuck up again
[8/5/2014 3:07:57 AM] Lawrence: im trying to watch my words
[8/5/2014 3:08:06 AM] Redacted: No.
[8/5/2014 3:08:13 AM] Redacted: I don't know how else to reply to that though.
[8/5/2014 3:08:32 AM] Lawrence: i dont know it sounds bad now that i read it
[8/5/2014 3:08:33 AM] Lawrence: sorry
[8/5/2014 3:08:43 AM] Redacted: It's not.
[8/5/2014 3:08:54 AM] Lawrence: you have been nothing but kind to me and you dont deserve my abusive treatment
[8/5/2014 3:13:22 AM] Lawrence: i'm sorry
[8/5/2014 3:13:35 AM] Redacted: It's fine.


HE TOLD ME HE WAS PROUD OF ME FOR STANDING UP TO HIS ABUSE.
fucking asshole.

I've grown up with abusive family members, without giving out too many details. whenever we would fight like this, it would always end with me saying "it's fine", or "it's ok", and that's exactly how I would speak with my abusive family members when things would happen.
a lot of our relationship felt like an echo of the way my family treated me, and the way I reacted to them, and it scared me a lot. I didn't realize that until the end, though, which is a major part in why I got out.
Click to expand...
Attempting to make you feel responsible for him being upset over you confronting him on abusive behavior.
This fucker is using the DSM-V entry on emotionally manipulative behaviors like a fucking checklist.
 
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Jesus fucking Christ. The sleaziness I picked up off that log (on their end, obviously) was just...ughhhh. I've had friends like that, and I've dealt with a fair bit if baggage from it--I can hardly imagine how awful a romantic relationship like that would be.

I'm proud of you for getting out, @nice time. It can be hard to dig yourself out of a relationship like that, and trying to do so takes major guts, so kudos.
 
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Nice to know that Lawrence still pulls the same shit he pulled on @nice time to this date. Christ.

My log viewer finally loaded and I'm around the 1,000th message, but I have over 200k worth of messages to skim through. This is definitely going to be awhile.
 
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