Squid Game - battle Royale but adults!

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.

if you guys liked the concept of squid game and are willing to give anime a chance i would strongly suggest giving this a chance, they even have an english dub.
the games are actually interesting and the thread of death is replaced with debt slavery which i think is more physiologically terrifying
 
"whyte people le evil and rich n' sheeit".

I disagree, if only because of how I view Korea's relationship with the west. A lot of Koreans spend butt loads on foreign brands and flash these products around as status symbols. Within K-Pop, acts like BTS (and even TOP's former band, Big Bang, during their heyday) are seen as kings partially because they managed to have success across the sea, a feat the industry has kept attempting since at least 2006 with Rain. Since unlocking the attention of American media and audiences more readily, K-Pop as a whole has more or less abandoned the more unique facets of its genre to chase western money and popularity. In acting, managing to land even a small to medium-sized role in an American blockbuster has elevated actors like Lee Byunghun who are touted as global stars. Though all of this of course circles back to making Korea look good or expanding business opportunities.

Though I'm not sure about current day, when I more actively watched dramas there was always an undercurrent of highlighting the west (particularly America) as superior or an ideal: male leads or rich characters often studied overseas rather than 'just' one of Korea's top universities, being able to speak English would be highlighted as a notable or quirky/special/funny skill, even the ability to cook cuisine from the west being shown as a grand achievement in comparison to simply cooking Korea food, which would 'humble or humanize' the chef character.

There's also the fact that South Korea absolutely adores a lot of American cinema (usually older films), to the point of it being memetic, or you could have an American film mentioned by a character with little to no explanation about it - clearly because the writers assume the audience is familiar with this 'classic' already. For example: after the Avengers, lots of male leads with arrested development would have at least one Iron Man or Hulk figurine in their bedroom or study.

I'm in no way an expert on Korean-American relations but I do think South Korea has a fondness for America, and probably some envy and hatred. But, much like Japan, I do not believe this causes them to shy away from depicting Americans as horrible people in their stories. In this case, I think it was just an easy way to contrast the main cast from the 'main villains', and keeps in line with the theme (though I believe it's unintentional) of everyone blaming everything but themselves and their addictions for their problems (i.e. it's capitalism! It's the loan sharks! It's the evil guys forcing us to play these games, not us literally voting to stay!) which is a problem some people with chronic money-centric issues tend to have.

Also, considering how absolutely fucking stupid this show made the Korean police force look, how amazingly the North Korean defector characters have all been treated so far (aside from that one dumbass), and how miserably it depicted almost every single person in the games this time around to the point of me cheering when most of them died in S2-3, I think the only anti-anything message to be found in here that was purposefully shoved in here is anti-drug use (which aligns with South Korean viewpoints).

Now, to the reason I'm here:

Gihun is a piece of shit and he didn't deserve to off himself. 🎩

This season left me MATI right at the finish line. I enjoyed a lot of it: the Recruiter was a standout, the Granny's death hit me fucking hard but it felt earned and her story with her son was wonderfully done, I thoroughly enjoyed Inho chopping away at Gihun's hero ideals and morals. I had fun with the thugs turned detectives (it's a staple of the standard K-Drama so I felt right at home), and though her girl bossing toward the end got a little bit much, overall I ended up enjoying the woman who went through so much bullshit just to help a father see his sick daughter again.

Which is a stark difference to Gihun who actively abandoned a chance to reconnect with his daughter to dismantle the Squid Games.

It was a fool's errand from the start but you could sort of go along with it if only because you'd think if he achieved it, he could go see his daughter in peace without worrying she'd be killed and forever monitored or something because of his involvement. The show sets him up as the hero, thoroughly undercuts his savior fantasy at the end of the season's first half, allows him to go comatose, and then almost lets Inho win.

...And then the writer shatters everything and everyone to disrupt Gihun's very clear descent into a darker shade of grey (or just straight up villainy) for an underwhelming throwaway line and lackluster God complex visions.

The only time Gihun is truly confronted by the truth of his situation and his failings is when he's strangling an innocent guy for having something akin to a fucking panic attack during his ill-advised 'storm the capital' plan (which would have failed with or without another bag of ammunition), and the guy says, "It's your fault." And indeed, everything that goes array for a fair amount of the characters we're meant to care for goes horribly wrong either directly or indirectly because of Gihun. Largely because the rebellion kills most of the people in favor of leaving the games and anyone with enough morality to try and help the females or weaker players left behind, which more or less directly causes every game after the rebellion to occur and get dominated by money-hungry and violent men.

"But it isn't all his fault!" Except it is. It should be, at least to him. As a character, he carries the load of his first game on his shoulders. So much so we're meant to believe taking care of his daughter and personally seeing to the continued health and care of those left behind took a backseat to all of his guilt. And he sees it as such. Until he murders Not Soldier Boy.

Then suddenly there's a baby and he tunnel visions this random chick's child to be a superhero again and forgets all about what's been handicapping him since the start of the second half, and his muddy motivations which existed since the time jump in S1. Which reminds me:

FUCK JUNHEE. FUCK HER IN THE ASS. SHE'S FUCKING SHIT. I HATE HER. WHO THE FUCK TAKES HER FUCKING CHILD INTO AN AREA WHERE SOMEONE COULD BE TASKED WITH KILLING YOU? WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?

She was already stupid for doing this while pregnant but the fact we do not even see her at least attempting to negotiate having one of the guards monitor and take care of her child whilst she's out there fighting for prize money makes her even fucking dumber. Her whole spiel before her death largely revolves around herself and her fee-fee's and just showcases how this narcissistic and ungrateful cunt was in no position to be a mother.

I digress.

It makes literally no sense she would trust Gihun with her child when THE CHILD'S LITERAL FATHER IS RIGHT THERE. A man who is closely connected to the main players of the game (Team Blue Gang), significantly younger and thus more athletic, and biologically/emotionally incentivized to keep her and the damn child alive. This fucking shit is where it all went wrong for me because I had found parts I enjoyed in even some of Netflix's meddling additions (like the trans player succeeding purely through embracing his masculine traits, which I thought was a fitting though likely accidental method of showcasing that being one's true self is a good thing).

Her small huddle of support were all dead; now would have been the time to stop trusting people. Why would she jump to Gihun, the guy who led a bunch of suckers to their deaths and then moped for ages, over MG Coin who had consistently attempted to look out for her and the child when possible throughout?

I didn't immediately seethe at this whole circus plot for a while if only because MG Coin ended up being one of the most intelligent and intriguing characters in the latter half of this season. Until it was time for Gihun to be the 'hero', that is.

Gihun offering to kill himself (before mistrust and emotions got high) on the last pillar for the MG and the baby would have been the preferred ending if we wanted to leave Gihun as a flawed but overall good-hearted guy: this dude and his daughter would walk out of this experience with each other and MG Coin would get to experience, firsthand, the good in people directed towards him as well as his kid (because up until that point, no one had given him a fucking chance). I saw him crashing out and demanding the baby as him trying to wrestle his position as a father back into his hands one last time. Gihun was the one who denied him of that and let the timer tick down. No one can tell me MG was playing a long game planning to kill his own child throughout all those games. He wasn't a fucking saint but he stepped up when he had to, (stupidly) respected his ex's distance whilst trying to help if and where he could, and continued to do so even after she fucking died.

Sounds kind of familiar to the man Gihun was at the start of the first season, doesn't it? Him handing the kid off and killing himself to keep that father-daughter relationship alive would have been poetry.

I even would have taken Gihun (somehow) playing the long game, getting the baby, then kicking it off the pillar because the entire experience finally broke him, declaring Inho the winner in their battle of ideologies, and then offing himself after making some nihilistic speech about how humans like them are trash and deserve this punishment. It would have been a nice heel-turn twist, in my opinion. Better than the alternative at the very least.

But no, we have to have our cake (Gihun is the ultimate hero and baby protector and the best hero and we love him, S1 represent!) and eat it too (Gihun is just like God, sacrificing himself for the greater good, what a flawed but beautiful and broken man, he's been through so much!).

Notice how his death does fucking nothing.

Inho clearly already had some reservations or harbored some guilt about the games and his involvement, as almost every leading villain in S2 showcased (The Recruiter in the park and his lust for death, the Boatman leading a quiet life and refusing to use most of his riches much like Gihun, even the Old Man in S1 and his view on Gihun and the waiting game with humanity) whilst the 'trash/contestants' of this season felt like the actual villains. Team Blue's agreement on the pillars and eventual fallout felt like what most Games probably end up being: the most ruthless making it to the end and whatever alliances they have in place imploding in spectacular fashion because they're all truly only in it for themselves, with the worst of the worst being crowned winners. Which would partially explain why rich people liked watching it and how the Game Runners could continuously justify their own involvement; why give a fuck about any of these assholes when they're all as bad as one another? It brilliantly showcased the hook of this whole scheme in-universe in a way S1 didn't achieve; I was cheering the whole fucking way right alongside the Masked Surfer Bro, dude.

I got sidetracked.
  • Inho already had enough awareness to question himself and his beliefs, going as far as to invite Gihun and give him a chance to prove him wrong (killing himself and orphaning an innocent baby is not proving Inho wrong; many of the longest lasting contestants, as well as Gihun's actions and inactions throughout these games, proved Inho correct)
  • The baby possibly finds a decent home purely because of Inho
  • The games only go boom due to a North Korean trying to help a girl with cancer and Junho trying to find his brother again
  • Saebyeok's brother is reunited with his mother thanks to no involvement of Gihun's and has been looked after by 218's mother this whole time while he moped and hunted down The Recruiter
  • The only closure, however fucking small, his daughter will ever get comes from Inho making a gesture he was in no way obligated to
  • The games, whilst not in Korea, continue on; I believe they only stop in Korea because the island they held it on was discovered
I repeat: BITCH KILLED HIMSELF FOR NOTHING.

"But muh VIPs learned the value of human life and stuff." No, I think they were all shocked into silence by how much of a dumb, dramatic, and egotistical fuck this guy turned out to be.

And what grinds my gears the most, above EVERYTHING ELSE, is how he fucking drops his daughter. What happened to the man in season one who used up all his money trying to get her a toy for her birthday? What happened to the guy that was clearly upset another man would be raising his daughter in a completely different country? What happened to the man who struggled with being an inadequate father and a shitty son? What happened to the father figure that tried to help Saebyeok until the very end?

This series is filled to the brim with trash, purposefully at that, but choosing to be a fucking absentee father (twice) when you had the option to win and go see her again (MG Coin killed for his newborn child, Gihun would be completely justified murdering a bunch of strangers for his daughter)? In the SAME season when a dad got outside help and went straight back to his daughter, working tirelessly at his low-paying job to take care of her instead of trying to gamble his way into good luck whilst accepting help given to him because his hard work, dedication, and unwavering love for his child was noticed by the people around him? In the SAME season as a mother trying her absolute hardest for her son before finally witnessing him behave in such a deplorable way it made her painfully acknowledge she'd raised scum? In the SAME season as MG Coin and his entire fucking arc? By the SAME character who lost his mother fucking around and finding out, and helped house an orphan with a now childless mother prior?

In the same season when the first thing he does is ABANDON A CHANCE TO BE WITH HIS DAUGHTER AND DO SOME ILL-ADVISED VIG SHIT ONLY TO SUCK BALLS, GIVE UP, AND LITERALLY ACHIEVE NOTHING?!

Fuck Gihun.

But also fuck the writer(s). It feels like everything I liked about this season was accidental or unintentional because of how abysmally Gihun's character was handled. Had a good enough time but I would not recommend watching it knowing how badly it shits the bed in the final stretch with what is arguably the most important character. Who got outshined by the rest of the case anyway. Fucking hell, man.

Also the Junho/Inho thing truly went nowhere. But it still did more to end the Squid Games than Gihun the Deadbeat Messiah.
 
all that shit
That's a lot of wall of text and seething... and I agree with many points! You mention this:
And what grinds my gears the most, above EVERYTHING ELSE, is how he fucking drops his daughter. What happened to the man in season one who used up all his money trying to get her a toy for her birthday? What happened to the guy that was clearly upset another man would be raising his daughter in a completely different country? What happened to the man who struggled with being an inadequate father and a shitty son? What happened to the father figure that tried to help Saebyeok until the very end?
I didn't touch on this since it's not a unique theme for this show, rather it's a general one for all media today. Since you mentioned this, I will bring it up; Antinatalism

Modern media has for some (((reason))) a depopulation agenda pushed into the story as a "moral" point. Notice how most characters are shitty to their biological kids, but are steping up as a parent for someone elses kid. It's like some type of a manifested cuck story directing the outcome. Gihun kills himself for a strangers baby and gives up on his own daughter!? This is retarded. Also, since the show is about killing off as many people as possible,

This is exactly what you are noticing with the show, this "I'm a bad parent to my own kids, now I will be better with a strangers baby instead = good person" plot driving the direction of the show.
 
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Spoiler: Sky Squid was some lazy ass naming; more sperging within.
The final game was pretty lame, we had Min-su tripping out in one corner, Coin being such a retard, and the other finalists we barely knew anything about besides 100 being comically evil that it's almost unbelievable
FUCK JUNHEE. FUCK HER IN THE ASS. SHE'S FUCKING SHIT. I HATE HER. WHO THE FUCK TAKES HER FUCKING CHILD INTO AN AREA WHERE SOMEONE COULD BE TASKED WITH KILLING YOU? WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?
The entire character of Jun-hee proved my beliefs that kpop idols should never get into acting. She constantly has the same face, talks the same, barely any emoting and her emotions barely show anything. Maybe the plastic surgery freezes Jo Yuri's face, but dear god, girl can't act for shit. Her entire character is dull and consists variations of "I'm pregnant" "The baby" "I don't feel good" I didn't feel much when she died compared to Geum-ja. In season 2, I occasionally mixed her up with Young-mi as I couldn't tell them apart, both were that bland in their characterization.
 
Have two episodes left of season 3. I like the contestants more in season 1 than i do in season 2 and 3. Best thing about the insufferable contestants is you know their fate.

Looking forward to ending it but one of the best new shows I’ve watched in the last few years. And I don’t consoom alot of tv these days.
 
That's a lot of wall of text and seething... and I agree with many points! You mention this:

I didn't touch on this since it's not a unique theme for this show, rather it's a general one for all media today. Since you mentioned this, I will bring it up; Antinatalism

Modern media has for some (((reason))) a depopulation agenda pushed into the story as a "moral" point. Notice how most characters are shitty to their biological kids, but are steping up as a parent for someone elses kid. It's like some type of a manifested cuck story directing the outcome. Gihun kills himself for a strangers baby and gives up on his own daughter!? This is retarded. Also, since the show is about killing off as many people as possible,

This is exactly what you are noticing with the show, this "I'm a bad parent to my own kids, now I will be better with a strangers baby instead = good person" plot driving the direction of the show.
Yeah, just finished it the other day, and I noticed that too.

The troon propaganda was the most blatant Netflixization, like this not-so-subtle hymn to the joys of letting grown men shit and wank in the stall next to you:
Screenshot 2025-07-03 101252.webp

... but the antinatalism was even more insidious. Childbirth and parenting was a major theme in this season and was relevant to most of the central characters (except the main character, oddly enough; I forgot he even had a daughter until the last episode), but every parent is shitty, and the "good" ones only find redemption by dying for somebody else's kid.

It's not subtle.

I fully expect this to be a major theme Netflix pushes on Asian viewers going forward; only real question is, how long until the shitty Korean parents are nobly dying to ensure the future prosperity of black babies?


Also, really not looking forward to Squid Games: LA. Don't really follow industry drama, so I have no idea if they're planning on continuing the series, but "Girlboss Commando gets drugged on a fake Chinese plane and has to fight in a Left Coast squid game, alongside assorted middle-aged girlbosses, sympathetic bipoc enbies, and evil MAGA redneck chuds with beards and/or business suits" is not something I have any interest in watching.


Other than that, it wasn't too bad. But had the show stopped at Season 1, I don't think we'd have missed out on much.
 
The troon propaganda was the most blatant Netflixization, like this not-so-subtle hymn to the joys of letting grown men shit and wank in the stall next to you:
Screenshot 2025-07-03 101252.webp
Dude this dialog made me laugh my balls off. I wonder if someone was mocking the whole bathroom debacle with this line. It just felt like dead pan humor.

Even the fight scene that the troon was in just felt like a parody lol.
 
how long until the shitty Korean parents are nobly dying to ensure the future prosperity of black babies?
Any moment now, it's very clear they are building up to that sentiment. I think their "K-pop" export is what i slowing down the process, they probaly don't want to tarnish their Korean image yet.
 
"But muh VIPs learned the value of human life and stuff." No, I think they were all shocked into silence by how much of a dumb, dramatic, and egotistical fuck this guy turned out to be.
What's insane is how many people I see defending Gihun not stabbing the other players in their sleep in the name of "humanity".

On one hand we have:

* 6 Psychopaths who were told they can either go home with 10~ million each, or sacrifice 3 innocents (one of which is a literal infant) for extra money. Who willingly, proudly and openly voted to sacrifice the innocents for money they didn't even need at this point, then laughed/joked about it while eating steak.

And on the other we have:

* The literal newborn infant they were planning to sacrifice.

And I see retards going "No no no, stopping the psychos makes you just as bad as them, the moral thing to do is to do nothing and let yourself and the infant be killed!"

Gi hun chosing to let baby murders murder a baby so he can jerk himself off over what a martyr he is somehow considered the moraly righteous choice in the mind of squidgame fans.
 
I fully expect this to be a major theme Netflix pushes on Asian viewers going forward
Many Koreans don't seem to care for Squid Game after season 1, and in some cases, like kpop, they actively resent the fanbase it brought. It isn't to the levels of many Koreans refusing to listen to kpop, but they get really upset when foreigners bring up squid game to them right away.
 
Man the sloppy creative bankruptcy of koreans continues to live down to expectations. You'd think if you were just filling in the blanks between the shit you're ripping off from mangas you'd be able to avoid having a massive plot hole in every single episode.


if you guys liked the concept of squid game and are willing to give anime a chance i would strongly suggest giving this a chance, they even have an english dub.
the games are actually interesting and the thread of death is replaced with debt slavery which i think is more physiologically terrifying
Kaiji rules, also check out Liar Game. The former has more varied setups as it goes on (starting with a 'squid game', then a heist plan against a rigged pachinko machine with a colossal jackpot, and a bunch of other stuff as he gradually takes the crime family behind it all for everything they're worth despite being a complete degenerate) while the latter is about a pair of 456-types stubbornly staying in the games to try to bring them down by defying the VIPs' ideas of "human nature", except they're actually smart about it and the games aren't inconsistent unfair asspulls like SG's.

I read em and would recommend that if you don't wanna sit through long-ass animes of characters scheming while staring each other down.

The Liar Game author also has a baseball comic that's pretty good too. It's not Death Baseball or anything but it's somehow similar. Corrupt throwing team owners hire a ringer to pump their numbers a bit (but not too much) without realising he's basically a version of L from Death Note who didn't skip PE class who proceeds to turn everything into his game basically out of spite.
 
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Late to the game (hehe) but I'll vomit my thoughts all over your screens.
Season 3 was a little better than season 2, but I'm still dissatisfied with the ending. The games continue to have a fun premise but I never felt the games were used to their full potential. Maybe hide and seek but I hated the obvious mother/son ending. Although the pregnant chick hearing her boyfriend getting a kill over the loud speaker, then seeing him stab the troon, was pretty great. The show runners missed the opportunity to have a little newborn sized tracksuit that says "457" to give to the CGI baby.

If I were running the show I'd have had the pregnant chick on the killing team because she would feel the need to actively protect her unborn baby, rather than hiding and hoping she and her baby don't get killed. I'd still have her give birth, but then the baby doesn't get a kill (obviously) so they kill the baby in front of her.

Jump Rope was a good idea. I hated how 456 didn't just push off the guy that was pushing off everyone else, it was blindingly obvious what would happen next. 456 almost get knocked off by the same guy but actually the MC powers through and kicks off the bad guy yay!!! And I'd probably change the end of the game where the mom jumps off, because I can't imagine a fall to your death is preferable to a gunshot to the head. Feels like we didn't get really any on screen executions this season.

I also really liked the long haired VIP guy. I think he's the only VIP I ever liked in the history of the show. The VIP scenes are as terrible and stupid as ever though. The possibly Chinese woman VIP was dubbed over and it was very distracting.

Finally the last game. I feel like it was plainly obvious that the final platform will have 456 and the baby without the button being pushed and 456 would have to sacrifice himself, so I was waiting to see if they would subvert that path. They didn't and the way they went about it was unbearably stupid to me. After the baby daddy pushed off one of the guys, completing the 2nd platform, the 3 guys start beating up lunch box and only after they snap his legs in half 456 says he has an issue with it. They scuffle and it ends up being lunch box, 456, baby daddy, and old guy 100. FOR NO FUCKING REASON BABY DADDY PUSHES OFF THE OLD GUY. Literally the dumbest fucking thing to me in this season. Actually, the 2nd dumbest, because then the obvious thing happens where they get to the final platform and start fighting before the button is pressed.

Everything felt unearned and we didn't get anything out of the cop subplot, which had the perfect start in season 1. Rant over
 
The 'find the game leader/cop' plot is what drew me into season 2, but then it just rehashed season 1 with shitter characters, and a shitter ending.
Exactly this. In between S1 and S2 my mind went wild with how 456 was going to be back in the game and the cop was going to infiltrate again, or even reverse it to where the cop was a participant and 456 would infiltrate, but the cop literally did nothing the whole season. Overall, I hated how they started from square 1 again in season 2. Like, 456 had to wait years to get another chance at the phone number for the games, but at the end of S1 he literally had the phone number, so what gives? One of the biggest fumbles I've personally experienced with a show because S1 was pretty great.
 
The 'find the game leader/cop' plot is what drew me into season 2, but then it just rehashed season 1 with shitter characters, and a shitter ending.
Sae=byeok was split between Se-mi and No-eul in personality. MG Coin was a shittier Sang-woo but a dad. Seon-nyeo was a shittier religious guy + Mi-nyeo. Jun-hee was too dull. Geum-ja and Yong-sik had potential, and to an extent Seon-nyeo did too as a better antagonist. I still think player 100 was annoying, but it made sense why he still continued. Any potential interesting characters like 096, Min-su (as annoying he was) and to be fair, Se-mi, got shoved to the side or cut off.
 
I wonder if they made it without the involvement of Netflix if those themes would still be present like the tranny felt so out of place that they didn’t even hire a proper troon and just put a wig on a guy and we are supposed to believe that’s a women , it would have have made more sense if the VIPS were mostly Koreans or Asian at least
Yes, don’t know much about Korea but the troon felt out of place, especially how they made it so heroic compared to most of the other characters. Felt very Netflix. Of course the usual suspects are crying about how his death is “transmisogyny” even though they handled it with such kid gloves.

I lost interest after the first two episodes of season 3 though tbf hide and seek was a highlight. Other highlight was the darkly humorous moment when they showed all the corpses on towers and the voice said “this is what happens when you try to disrupt the outcome of a free and fair election.”

Begrudgingly finished but it was boring 🤷🏻‍♀️

Other thoughts:
-I didn’t mind min-su. Thought it was a realistic portrayal of how a lot of weak people would crumble in that situation.
-I always found the detective on a boat subplot boring but was hoping there would at least be a good pay off.
-Agree they should have left at least one character we were interested in alive for the later episodes of the season or developed the NPCs more. This was the main thing for me.
-333 didn’t bother me too much, though i guess it wasn’t very interesting. Early on 222 said something like “you don’t care about me you’re just pretending because you want my share of the money.” and we never really saw anything to the contrary.

Edit: I wasn’t a huge fan of the baby and what it did for the story but Redditors et al went full sociopath over it. Saw several comments saying basically “if you think about it…the baby had the least attachments to anyone eg no kids relying on it. It made the most sense to kill the baby. I hate how tv shows treat babies as more important than everyone else.”
 
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I haven't finished Season 3 yet but the whole storyline with the baby makes me feel very uncomfortable and not really want to watch it. Surely even in the evil murder game they would allow a woman who was giving birth to leave with her baby? How is there not even a discussion around allowing her to go? Nobody even acknowledges it at all? Why are contestants not pregnancy tested before joining? Idk it's just too much I am sorry, the show is all about "but they chose to be there!??" ok the baby sure as fuck didn't.

I don't like watching people point guns at babies and having to worry that a baby dies in Squid game tbh I don't know if I will even finish it. I hate Asians and how they always take their emotional manipulation in media way too far. Sociopathic ass people, no wonder their birth rates are so abysmal.
 
I didn't hate the troon thing as much as I thought (beyond the distraction of it being a character in the first place) because he was consistently miserable and pathetic and always written like the show was saying "yeah no shit you'll never be a woman".

Like ultimately his value was entirely in being a man (in a wig) who was a foot taller than everyone else who used his military background to protect an actual woman having a baby.
Clearly the moral here is that you can paint your nails but you can't escape macho hero instincts.

(Also nevermind future archeologists; since all the records were destroyed you're not even gonna fool the forensic investigators who dig you up two weeks from now lol.)
 
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