Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

Jar Jar Abrams bullshit dumbed down action is what nearly killed my enjoyment for the 09 movie, but it really massacred my enjoyment for Into Darkness

Spoiler: incoming sperging mad at the internet rant about modern blockbusters

As much of a shitty director Jar Jar Abrams really is, I cannot fault him for his bullshit Hollywood blockbuster movies he pumps out. Shocking, I know, but the blame has to be on two summer movies from 1996 and 1998, respectively, those being Roland Emmerich's Independence Day and Michael Bay's Armageddon. Those two movies pioneered the idea of Hollywood blockbusters with unoriginal and stupid writing. Both Emmerich and Bay were very famous (or rather infamous) for their respective trademarked identities. For Bay, it was explosions and for Emmerich, it was world destruction. Jar Jar Abrams has the same exact shit as the two, but with his added lens flare.

And JJ Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, and Roberto Orci learned under Michael Bay as writers for Armageddon and the Transformers movies.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

What kind of thought process was going on with the first people who decided to become Borg?

Did they originally venture out to seek out new life and new civilization for assimilation?

 

[TVB]

And JJ Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, and Roberto Orci learned under Michael Bay as writers for Armageddon and the Transformers movies.

Also, Kurtzman and Orci wrote The Amazing Spider-Man 2 whereas its predecessor was co-written by James Vanderbilt (both of which are directed by Marc Webb), who wrote a Roland Emmerich movie White House Down, and Roland Emmerich, and Emmerich's biggest movie was Independence Day, which inspired Michael Bay to make Armageddon.

So with my sperging out of the way, both Roland Emmerch and Michael Bay are to blame for brainless, uninspired popcorn movies and television to exist, which includes major IPs such as Star Trek, which has forever been tainted by Abrams, Kurtzman and Orci

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Time of TNG is closer to time of TOS than now.

 

[marvlouslie]

Star Trek 09 had some cool moments, but it's one of those modern blockbusters with no wit and it had the shitty Jar Jar Abrams certified lens flare that ruined my experience. But I thought it was decent for what it's worth. That said, everything afterwards was complete dogshit. Into Darkness was the one movie that made me hate modern Star Trek.

It was the marooning of Kirk on an ice world by an overly emotional Spock that did it for me. The lens flare didn't bother me as much as it should have, but eh. The long distance transporter pull out of ass convinced me to just shut it off. I was fucking done. It's like an 11 year old saw one episode of TOS and was "convinced" they could write these characters better.

 

[AnOminous]

It was the marooning of Kirk on an ice world by an overly emotional Spock that did it for me.

It was nothing Spock would ever have done.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Jar Jar Abrams

It's like an 11 year old saw one episode of TOS and was "convinced" they could write these characters better.

Aren't JJ and ST producers since people who don't like pre-NuTrek and deliberately wanted to change course from what it used to be?

(So in other words, not optimistic and progressive anymore, but pessimistic and "progressive" with an emphasis on special effects?)

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

Aren't JJ and ST producers since people who don't like pre-NuTrek and deliberately wanted to change course from what it used to be?

(So in other words, not optimistic and progressive anymore, but pessimistic and "progressive" with an emphasis on special effects?)

Yes. Unfortunately, they do not have the talent or intelligence of Ronald D. Moore, who probably could have pulled off dark, depressing Star Trek. I thought everyone was a big jerk in that Battlestar Galactica Remake, but I can't actually say it's a bad show by these criteria.

 

[marvlouslie]

It was nothing Spock would ever have done.

Seriously. Spock in '09 Trek was a fucking asshole. As stern and as unwavering in his duty as TOS Spock was at times, he did often "joke" (or at least a Vulcan's approximation of one) around with Kirk and McCoy. You could at least tell from his mannerisms that he deeply respected both of them. I don't even recognize what the fuck '09 Trek Spock was supposed to be. While I liked Zachary Quinto filling the role, it's the overall script and characterization of Spock that pisses me the fuck off.

 

[teriyakiburns]

I thought everyone was a big jerk in that Battlestar Galactica Remake, but I can't actually say it's a bad show by these criteria.

Shame it only lasted three seasons.

 

[AnOminous]

As stern and as unwavering in his duty as TOS Spock was at times, he did often "joke" (or at least a Vulcan's approximation of one) around with Kirk and McCoy.

Whatever else, the three of them were men. Shit-talking each other was their way of expressing affection. When McCoy called Spock a "green-blooded son of a bitch," he meant "I love you, bro."

 

[Commissar Fuklaw]

Something soft hand noodle arm writers never understand and like women hear it as aggression and insult

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

Whatever else, the three of them were men. Shit-talking each other was their way of expressing affection. When McCoy called Spock a "green-blooded son of a bitch," he meant "I love you, bro."

and Spock gave it back just as hard, regularly implying that McCoy (and humans at large) were a collection of idiot monkey savages

 

[BScCollateral]

and Spock gave it back just as hard, regularly implying that McCoy (and humans at large) were a collection of idiot monkey savages

One bit I always liked is none of the other humans took offense at having Spock insult humans, knowing full well he was just tagging McCoy back.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

One bit I always liked is none of the other humans took offense at having Spock insult humans, knowing full well he was just tagging McCoy back.

In the dream future we live in harmony with light racist bantz a staple of the workplace

 

[UnKillFill]

I liked the part where Abraham Lincoln called Uhura "a charming negress" and not only did she not take offense, she seemed bemused at the idea of taking offense over words in general.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

I liked the part where Abraham Lincoln called Uhura "a charming negress" and not only did she not take offense, she seemed bemused at the idea of taking offense over words in general.

It's like hearing sirrah or you dastard or dotard. It's so outdated it no longer qualifies as an insult.

 

[Molly White's Breast Milk]

I liked the part where Abraham Lincoln called Uhura "a charming negress" and not only did she not take offense, she seemed bemused at the idea of taking offense over words in general.

Now have him call Sisko a nigger and see what happens.

 

[Kulee Baba]

First Note: This article/thinkpiece is meant purely to entertain. I am not attempting to be an expert on Star Trek or actual history. I abhor all actual racism on real people this is a retarded joke.

Second Note: As I furiously type this essay out I am in awe of the autism, I can hardly understand the sentences that are being made, this whole thing is complete nonsense, it's the stupidest inane thing I've ever typed and should be used when I'm committed to Bedlam. It feels like I'm being posessed by a cokehead schizo, typing this out is actually exorcising to the demon. I want to delete this whole post now but it's too amusing that I felt the need to write it. I apologize to anyone reading this crock of nerdshit;

On The Vulcan Question in Star Trek
I have many reasons to reject Post-2009 Star Trek, one of the main reasons is the profound change to the Romulan race in Star Trek with the destruction of their home planet. Romulans were among the most despicable alien races in Star Trek, they were written to be treasonous and formidable, they were ugly, their only iconic design being their Warbird vessel. As a casual fan of Star Trek I would generalize Romulans as being shittier Klingons. Where the Klingons had cool makeup designs, a truly alien culture, and a fun geo-political storyline against the Federation the Romulans were essentially a rehash of that. But to even just write them off as "shitty Klingons" doesn't encapsulate the disgusting Romulan subhumans, for they are also "SHITTY Vulcans", where Vulcans are an equivalent to Angels/Elves in Star Trek lore the Romulans are anything but. The Romulans are nothing like the Vulcans who are essentially Mary Sue characters in Star Trek. In all my years I've never heard of a Romulan Trekkie, no one has ever dreamt of a Star Trek captain having steamy fanfiction with a Romulan. And that was fine, not every race in Star Trek needs to be liked, there should be shit tier aliens who aren't just written as a joke (like any explicitly ugly alien humanoid in Trek). Even the Ferengi are more likable than Romulans! But anyway to see the Romulans go from forgettable antagonists to pathetic losers was a bridge too far, even in the Picard series our decrepit hero keeps a few Romulans as houseslaves, equating the loathsome Romulans with "Uncle Toms" of the Antebellum South. What a cruel and insulting thing to do to Star Trek as a whole! But after watching TNG's "Who Watches The Watchers" I came to a stunning conclusion, 2009 Star Trek is correct in how depicts the Romulans, and even more so it's right in attacking both Romulan and Vulcan species and this new aggressive Human Supremacist message in NuTrek is one of the most fascinating developments in the lore.

"Who Watches The Watchers" is a very sappy episode from Season 3, basically Picard is mistaken for the God of these primitive dwellers. And we're told that they're "PROTO-VULCANS", this descriptor infuriates me because what does it mean to be a "PROTO-RACE" in the context of Star Trek? I've never heard of an anthropologist declare that humans from thousands of years ago are any less human than the ones who currently live on this planet. But I digress if they're Proto-Vulcans that also means they're Proto-Romulans. In my opinion they are in fact more Romulan than anything else as they lack the core admirable traits of the Vulcans. They also look like smelly Romulans. They're stupid, they don't have any sense of "Logic" that we're told is built into the Vulcan genetics. They have none of the strength or any superpowers. They're utterly pathetic.

In this writers sentiment when it comes to the fictional Romulan race in Star Trek they are all deserving of genocide. If I were a Star Trek captain my single purpose would be to complete Total Romulan Death (TRD). For the Romulans are utterly worthless and a waste of time whenever featured on Star Trek. And that leads us to the Vulcan Problem, because Vulcans and Romulans are cousin aliens, after all they share a relative humanoid species in the form of these Proto-Vulcan that Picard interacts with. And the Vulcans Pre-2009 were objectively the best race in Star Trek. Well we're now in 2023 Star Trek and if the goal is to annihilate the Romulan species then we need TOTAL VULCAN DEATH too.

KILL ALL VULCANS, KILL ALL ROMULANS. MAY THE HUMAN-KLINGON FEDERATION TRIUMPH OVER THESE RETARDED ALIENS.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

View attachment 5519088
I'll see if I have the full comic handy, it's the comic that was the TNG Christmas special
it's pretty dumb and the art is amazing, to give an example here's Data and his sixty-one centimeter pythons brotherdudejack
View attachment 5519091

Whatcha gonna do brother when the autistic android runs wild over you!?!