Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[Pee Your Pants]

Staph Screencaps: Michael Jackson Edition.

I take my eyes off Staph for a couple of days and she decides to go on an epic MJ defending crusade that ended up with multiple slapfights, blocks, a Kiwi Farms mention, telling strangers she's been accused of being a pedo, then crying about it. After some digging, I bring you a lot of entertainment. Apologies for any repeated comments, but people kept branching off in their own slapfights.


Who the fuck threatened her with rape LMAO.

Speaking of people who like to write disparaging things about trans people, these folks call me a pedophile.

I'm shocked she didn't link to her thread.


Nice typo, pedo.




It was a very short break.



Threatened with sexual violence for defending your ghost husbando against rape allegations, who you said raped you? Weird.


So do you.

Things got a little muddy around here as people started blocking each other. Good old Clear Sky comes through with some context:






Fucking kek.

Maybe because people are trying to convince everyone that I'm also a child predator? I couldn't even adopt a cat because they called all the shelters and told them that I would molest it.

Absolutely wild sentence to throw out there.

Do you know how it feels to be called a pedophile when you're not one? I do. No one will listen no matter what you say. They simply want to crucify you. Maybe that's why I continue to stand by him.

Absolutely wild sentence to throw out there, part 2.


Loki and Lucifer make her get into slapfights as a test of strength. LOL.


Was that the end...? Of course not.


Even I'm not reading all that.


Does this mean Staph has talked to the ghost of Whitney Houston?


Girl... Please stop. I have so many other screen caps of you doing other shit that I will need to do a separate post of non-MJ caps.


A fucking celebrity causing severe trauma. Jesus fucking Christ.

Get ready for a fantastic ending:

Link (archive coming, but I also downloaded it in case she deletes it). I haven't had time to watch it yet.

ETA: Only 20 seconds in and my sides. She is 100% trying to sound like Tom Hiddleston playing Loki.

ETA 2: Just watched it all, my fucking sides. Essential Staph viewing. Like nana's first time at the ren fair trying to get into character. Absolutely died when she squawked Ragnarok like REEEG-NURR-RURRRRK whilst a train noisily rumbled by. Right at the end, Loki defends MJ (of fucking course), saying that he didn't do nufin, he was a good boi, it was just Loki pulling a prank by putting in false memories of sexual assault into the kids, or something.

 

[The Salt Mines]

"PEOPLE CALL ME A PEDOPHILE, I COULDN'T ADOPT A CAT BECAUSE OF ZOOPHILIA ALLEGATIONS!!!" - Holy shit, there is not enough money in the world that could get me to disclose that I had people lobbing that sort of shit at me. Anyone with an ounce of shame would keep that on the downlow at all costs.

I love when her martyr complex amps up so hard that she has to tell on herself. It's pretty funny (and baffling) every time.

Edit to avoid double post:

Got to seeing the video and AHAHAH oh I have tears. Girl, you are in your THIRTIES. You have a MASTER'S DEGREE. Oh my goodness, thank you @Pee Your Pants, I haven't had that good of a laugh in months.

 

[AfghanBlue]

I take my eyes off Staph for a couple of days and she decides to go on an epic MJ defending crusade that ended up with multiple slapfights, blocks, a Kiwi Farms mention, telling strangers she's been accused of being a pedo, then crying about it. After some digging, I bring you a lot of entertainment.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

@Pee Your Pants bless you for being the thread's resident capper for so long, I know she talks so much that it's gotta be time consuming and we love you for doing it!

Christ alive, she's embarassing. I think all of the seperate conversations in those screencaps, she goes a max of like three replies before somehow trying to make 'Michael Jackson may have been a pedo' into some sort of completely non sequitur comment about herself (that always makes her sound really suspicious). Which is kind of how she always acts on the internet, but it's really funny seeing so many examples in quick succession.

She really is the IM A VEGAN of sketchy backstories.

 

[JanuaryViolet]

I *cannot* get over how massive she is.
And thank you @Pee Your Pants, for an epic read.

eta: OMG, she leers at herself in the camera. 19:14 And then brings up MJ propaganda.

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

"PEOPLE CALL ME A PEDOPHILE, I COULDN'T ADOPT A CAT BECAUSE OF ZOOPHILIA ALLEGATIONS!!!" - Holy shit, there is not enough money in the world that could get me to disclose that I had people lobbing that sort of shit at me. Anyone with an ounce of shame would keep that on the downlow at all costs.

I love when her martyr complex amps up so hard that she has to tell on herself. It's pretty funny (and baffling) every time.

Edit to avoid double post:

Got to seeing the video and AHAHAH oh I have tears. Girl, you are in your THIRTIES. You have a MASTER'S DEGREE. Oh my goodness, thank you @Pee Your Pants, I haven't had that good of a laugh in months.

Most folks if being casually accused online of being a pedo/zoophile with the intent to troll and not destroy someone's career would get an eye roll and a block from a normal person but Steph is too immature to realize how bad this makes her look to not brush it off.

 

[Bojack Horsekin]

Get ready for a fantastic ending:

Now that's what I call... HORSIN' AROUND!

Seriously though, this is equal parts hilarious and horrifying. A++ Staph shenanigans pretending to channel an ancient deity a Hollywood actor for 30 minutes. F- for making this out to be "Loki took an interest in Michael Jackson, fractured his soul, and made his victims imagine the whole thing" just because she got her feefees hurt on the internet. That'll show those jerks from bsky! God I hope at least one of them watches it and puts her on blast.

Lost it at her trying to pronounce Día de Muertos and laughing it off as Spanish being too insignificant for the all-powerful Loki to learn. He created humanity (according to her) but he can't be bothered to remember the browns' language. Telling.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Staph's spooooky but weirdly stilted acting reminds me of the hosts of the VHS (later DVD) board game, AtmosFEAR.


She really would improve her life by joining a LARP or TTRPG group. If nothing else, she could get more practice acting.

Right at the end, Loki defends MJ (of fucking course), saying that he didn't do nufin, he was a good boi, it was just Loki pulling a prank by putting in false memories of sexual assault into the kids, or something.

Stephanie has a weirdly nuanced take on MJ, doesn't she? He didn't molest the kids, he was the only good man in Hollywood... and then he died, became a ghost, raped her and forced her to groom kids on DeviantArt.

She even tried to bring that up in her slapfight, but they didn't bite, and she still realizes she shouldn't come out and say "the ghost of Michael Jackson raped me."

"I should hate him for the same reason, but I don't."



eta: 09:20 Loki didn't break the goat's legbone to get at the marrow! It's a big part of the story! Thjalfi, the peasant farmer's young son, couldn't resist, and the next day when the goat was lame, his dad gave Thjalfi and his sister to Thor as payment for Thjalfi's mistake.

That's a plot point: it's why there were two mortal kids going along with Thor and Loki to the castle of Utgardsloki in the first place. If "Loki" is retconning that it was him who broke the goat's leg, he should be bragging that he fucked over Thjalfi specifically.

Anyway this is great. She's so much funnier when she's perky.

...hey, how come she can say "horsing?" That's a Voodoo term, and if white people can't use "spirit animal" in a generic sense, that should be off-limits too.

 

[JaneThough]

Staph, most people don’t seek out shit to trigger them. She’s the worst because she’s one of those who believes everyone else is responsible for her mental health.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

eta: 09:20 Loki didn't break the goat's legbone to get at the marrow! It's a big part of the story! Thjalfi, the peasant farmer's young son, couldn't resist, and the next day when the goat was lame, his dad gave Thjalfi and his sister to Thor as payment for Thjalfi's mistake.

Even I, who knows basically nothing about Norse culture whatsoever, knew this - because it was a plot point in a chapter book I read that was narrated by Thjalfi. When I was probably eleven years old.

Once again Staph fails at any part of her culture LARPing that requires learning beyond AI Google summaries.

I could only watch five cumulative videos of that video because the cringe overtook me.

 

[it's pronounced gif]

Obsessed with how basically every comment she makes has nothing to do with her beloved "Peter" and entirely to do with herself being a zoo/pedo. Weird flex but okay.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

I left off the non-MJ caps out of my post because it was already long. None of these are even half as entertaining, but here you go. These were pre MJ chimp out.


Still fixing them??


I guess she still wears diapers.


Buying something useful for once.


What furniture is leaving her apartment...?


I know why - you have only owned one cat who you let eat from your plate, so you can't judge.


But MJ needs defending.


Furniture delivery! I am intrigued.


I would love to see the full caps.


Oh, Jeff felt remorse! That definitely makes him a better person.


Once again, knowing nothing about something she claims to be fixated on.


Very rich, coming from a potato head.


RIP Green Upholstered Couch. The absolute state of that room. ENHANCE.

I have a horrible image from the future of her twice as large as she is now, melted into that recliner with more debris piled around her. In the Loki channelling video, you can still see a green couch, so she either filmed it pre-removal or has kept one piece of the set.


Loki mentioned this in her video. I'm guessing she prays for a solar flare every time she loses a slapfight.


MJ gets a pass. Weird how she used the word 'fat.' What happened to it being an antifat (or whatever) word?


She needs to re-read that person's last sentence again. Hilariously, she then posted this right after:


I guess buying from big corporations doesn't count if someone else buys from them for you. Her list.

These caps are post-MJ sperging:


No1cur.


You need to keep an eye on that.


I can't wait for more Loki possession videos. I wonder if they will all feature the black lipstick and headband combo. I can't stop thinking about it and remembering more mental details. I seriously thought her babblers were her knees at first because they seem to have melted down to her stomach. I love how many Staphisms Loki has adopted too, like taking too long to get a sentence out and mis pronouncing things. I guess these traits have rubbed off on him through their marriage. One of my favourite bits was when he got a date wrong and had to consult a book for it. It's almost like it was actually Staph roleplaying as Loki. I love how she only put on an accent for the Norse words then slipped back into American grandma, with occasional bursts of Tom Hiddleston. It's been a heavily quoted video in my household all day. RIIIIIIG-NIII-RURK.

Whilst I was doing this post she started revving up to start fights again. She must be jonesing for more.

If this develops then I'll add to the post later, unless someone else caps it before they all start blocking each other lol.

ETA: Missed one.

Was this after taking advantage of the online offer of edibles?

Spoiler: no homo

thank you @Pee Your Pants, I haven't had that good of a laugh in months.

@Pee Your Pants bless you for being the thread's resident capper for so long, I know she talks so much that it's gotta be time consuming and we love you for doing it!

And thank you @Pee Your Pants, for an epic read.

You're too kind. I don't know how I fell into being the main Staph reporter. I have some lurker IRL friends who I got invested in Staph drama so we have a giddy time collecting and laughing at Staph's nonsense before I drop a load of caps here, then I love sitting back and reading everyone's thoughts, it's so much fun. If Loki ever caused a solar flare that knocked off the Farms then I hope we would find a way to stay in touch and keep on bitching.

 

[space man]

I *cannot* get over how massive she is.

Good Lord, that's a big bitch. She has seriously chonked out. I'm taken aback over how massive she has become. That's "O lawd she coming" territory. Her salmon slappers look like they're resting on her knees.

Do we know how tall this human-potato is?

 

[Chromeo]

As an MJ fan and a Stephanie hater, I still insist she's more pedo than he is. At the very least he vehemently denied it every time it ever came up, while Stephanie has classic excuses like "I didn't check their age when I commented on a selfie" and "I have pedo OCD."
It also bugs me how she misrepresents the shelter calls, people told them the shit you DO to your cats, like picking their feet and making them obese. If the shelters think you're a zoophile it's because of your own fucking friendliness towards zoophile communities online.

 

[honse]

congrats on the staph infection, Loki

 

[Aunt Carol]

I guess she still wears diapers.

Interesting thing to notice, though: OP made a typo ("incontinence" for "incompetence") and Stephanie noticed it and also riffed on it. That's a solid B- joke there.

Which makes me wonder: was she the first person to make that joke, or did she steal it from someone higher up in the replies as another "pay attention to me" post?

Translator note: for middle aged women, "pee a little when I laugh" jokes are as edgy and almost as common as "wine mom" or Minion memes. You can buy T-shirts and greeting cards.

Buying something useful for once.

What a dipshit. "Thingy that's like an ice pack, but for your neck." So, an ice pack.

Either she's learned subtlety, or she truly doesn't understand why her "trusty bag of [frozen] cranberries" can't survive infinite freeze/thaw cycles. People use the stereotypical bag of frozen peas as an improvised ice pack; peas gotta get eaten after, but presumably you'll have filled the ice cube tray/put the blue ice packs in the freezer by then.

Grandma Knowledge --

Very rich, coming from a potato head.

Yeah, I thought we weren't body-shaming, or insanity-shaming, or fat-shaming.

Someone could post this as a reply to one of Stephanie's posts and at least she could call it gender-affirming.

I guess buying from big corporations doesn't count if someone else buys from them for you. Her list.

Devil's advocate: she's blatantly begging and showing that she buys from Amazon zealously, but her phrasing implies that she wants you to look at her Amazon list, buy the book locally, and then DM her for an auto-phonebooking so you can mail it to her.

One of my favourite bits was when he got a date wrong and had to consult a book for it. It's almost like it was actually Staph roleplaying as Loki. I love how she only put on an accent for the Norse words then slipped back into American grandma, with occasional bursts of Tom Hiddleston. It's been a heavily quoted video in my household all day. RIIIIIIG-NIII-RURK.

When that video gets archived, it needs to go in the OP. It'd also be handy for you to make a post that's just the YouTube version plus the local archive. In case someone wanted to sponsor it to the front page maybe.

 

[brooky]

Translator note: for middle aged women, "pee a little when I laugh" jokes are as edgy and almost as common as "wine mom" or Minion memes. You can buy T-shirts and greeting cards.

Isn't it more common for middle aged women who have had children to pee their pants a little than women who never had kids?

It shouldn't be that normal for her, she's not even 40, and while she's fat, I don't think she's incontinence fat.

 

[JaneThough]

I really hate this idea that it’s totally cool to dunk on someone’s looks if you hate them, but act like you’re totally body positive. I bet this guy has things you can criticize that aren’t completely out of his control, and if someone said similar about Staph she’d lose her mind.

Hey Staph! You’re fat.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Isn't it more common for middle aged women who have had children to pee their pants a little than women who never had kids?

It shouldn't be that normal for her

It's not normal for Stephanie to have stress incontinence, no. But she is living her life in total grandma-mode, other than the serial killer thirst and troonery. Her Facebook algorithm has to have her pinpointed as enjoying wine mom/grandma memes.

I really hate this idea that it’s totally cool to dunk on someone’s looks if you hate them, but act like you’re totally body positive.

The even more blatant hypocrisy is how Stephanie herself is the first one to scold other posters for making fun of Trump's weight or incontinence, because how does that make other incontinent people feel???

Maybe her Tumblr haters could make a compilation post and comparison.

 

[Pillar Of The Community]

Isn't it more common for middle aged women who have had children to pee their pants a little than women who never had kids?

It shouldn't be that normal for her, she's not even 40, and while she's fat, I don't think she's incontinence fat.

My crackpot theory when she first mentioned wearing diapers was that she’d somehow conditioned herself into “needing” them, as in forcing it and LARPing lol. I am referencing the weird fetish screeds of trannies claiming to do the same so I’m not sure. Could just be a lazy bitch. If it is real, maybe it was the hysterectomy?

But I saw it as her trying to make “pee ur pants” srs bsniss and legitimize her giant double urethra. Like how she started claiming dyspraxia after getting BTFO on tumblr for saying “cripple”. What’s odd though is she also describes in depth her OCD fear of not clearing her bladder all the way and getting a UTI, so…? She does really want to be an old lady, too.

She has such an odd relationship with pee pee and poo poo and I’m confused which direction it goes.