Tabletop Roleplaying Games (D&D, Pathfinder, CoC, ETC.)

Now that you mention it, it kinda is.


Or if they have they pronouns, they look like the two in the middle.
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Chris O'Neill looks like he'd benefit from being hit in the face with a fire extinquisher.

God, I hate all these fuckers infesting the hobbies.

You just KNOW he's an insufferable douche canoe.
 
My thoughts on Fizban's Treasure of Dragons.

First the player options. Two subclasses, one for monks (Ascendant Dragon) and one for Rangers (Drakewarden). Ascendant Dragon is better than most of the other monk options, in my opinion. Some abilities are more fluff (rerolling certain charisma checks and speaking draconic) and the majority being combat related (breath weapon attacks, elemental damage for martial arts attacks, flight during step of the wind, resistance aura, blindsight, point blank AE). Solid, looks fun. Too bad monk is still a shit class (thanks Crawford). Rangers get Drakewarden, which is a lazy reskin of Beastmaster with all the associated problems and no solutions. And at high levels you can do a fireball's worth of damage with a breath weapon 1/long rest and the drake can be used as a flying mount. I really dislike the pokemon-esque nature of "summoning a spirit" rather than befriending an actual beast/drake. It's shitty and lazy. Ranger and monk continue to be the red-headed step-children of this edition.

Race options are all flavors of Dragonborn: Chromatic, Gem, and Metallic. They all get a breath weapon and a color coded resistance. Chromatics can become immune to their element for a minute, Gems get psionic communication and temporary flight, and Metallics get 1/long rest secondary breath weapon that either incapacitates enemies for a round or pushes them back/knocks them prone. Stat modifiers no longer matter, as everything gets their choice of a floating +2 and +1. All the breath weapons can be used WITH the attack action, and replace one of your attacks, making these all solid choices, especially Metallic.

Feat options are Gift of the Chromatic/Gem/Metallic Dragon. Chromatic is a 1/long rest elemental damage buff to a weapon that adds 1d4 for 1 minute and a temporary damage resist buff that lasts 1/turn and uses your reaction which can be procificency mod/long rest. Meh. Gem is decent for casters as it's a +1 Wis/Int/Cha (choose one) and use your reaction when you take damage to shove something away and deal psychic damage. Metallic has you learn Cure Wounds and gain 1 free casting of it and the ability to cast it using your spell slots and a ghetto shield spell you can use proficiency mod/long rest. Once again, best for casters. Kinda ho-hum feats over all.

All the spells are really good. Nathair's Mischief is a 20x20 debuff that lasts a minute and the area of effect can be moved 10' per round, and forces a new save on each subsequent turn you take. Rime's Binding Ice is Cone of Cold Jr, which is solid. Ashardalon's Stride let's you run around, setting fire to things and creatures with impunity (would be a solid choice for an Eldritch Knight or Bard with high mobility). Raulothim's Psychic Lance is a great save or suck with damage stacked on top that targets an uncommon save (Int). Fizban's Platinum Shield is a good buff to toss onto a squishier character about to get walloped which can also be moved to other targets on each turn. Summon Draconic Spirit is a fairly decent summoning spell (they're all kinda lackluster this edition). Draconic Transformation is one of the better self buffs as it operates purely on bonus actions and gives a breath weapon, blindsight, and 60' flight.

Next post will be about the bestiary and the "art". Not all of it is bad, but holy shit some of it looks godawful.
 
My thoughts on Fizban's Treasure of Dragons.

First the player options. Two subclasses, one for monks (Ascendant Dragon) and one for Rangers (Drakewarden). Ascendant Dragon is better than most of the other monk options, in my opinion. Some abilities are more fluff (rerolling certain charisma checks and speaking draconic) and the majority being combat related (breath weapon attacks, elemental damage for martial arts attacks, flight during step of the wind, resistance aura, blindsight, point blank AE). Solid, looks fun. Too bad monk is still a shit class (thanks Crawford). Rangers get Drakewarden, which is a lazy reskin of Beastmaster with all the associated problems and no solutions. And at high levels you can do a fireball's worth of damage with a breath weapon 1/long rest and the drake can be used as a flying mount. I really dislike the pokemon-esque nature of "summoning a spirit" rather than befriending an actual beast/drake. It's shitty and lazy. Ranger and monk continue to be the red-headed step-children of this edition.

Race options are all flavors of Dragonborn: Chromatic, Gem, and Metallic. They all get a breath weapon and a color coded resistance. Chromatics can become immune to their element for a minute, Gems get psionic communication and temporary flight, and Metallics get 1/long rest secondary breath weapon that either incapacitates enemies for a round or pushes them back/knocks them prone. Stat modifiers no longer matter, as everything gets their choice of a floating +2 and +1. All the breath weapons can be used WITH the attack action, and replace one of your attacks, making these all solid choices, especially Metallic.

Feat options are Gift of the Chromatic/Gem/Metallic Dragon. Chromatic is a 1/long rest elemental damage buff to a weapon that adds 1d4 for 1 minute and a temporary damage resist buff that lasts 1/turn and uses your reaction which can be procificency mod/long rest. Meh. Gem is decent for casters as it's a +1 Wis/Int/Cha (choose one) and use your reaction when you take damage to shove something away and deal psychic damage. Metallic has you learn Cure Wounds and gain 1 free casting of it and the ability to cast it using your spell slots and a ghetto shield spell you can use proficiency mod/long rest. Once again, best for casters. Kinda ho-hum feats over all.

All the spells are really good. Nathair's Mischief is a 20x20 debuff that lasts a minute and the area of effect can be moved 10' per round, and forces a new save on each subsequent turn you take. Rime's Binding Ice is Cone of Cold Jr, which is solid. Ashardalon's Stride let's you run around, setting fire to things and creatures with impunity (would be a solid choice for an Eldritch Knight or Bard with high mobility). Raulothim's Psychic Lance is a great save or suck with damage stacked on top that targets an uncommon save (Int). Fizban's Platinum Shield is a good buff to toss onto a squishier character about to get walloped which can also be moved to other targets on each turn. Summon Draconic Spirit is a fairly decent summoning spell (they're all kinda lackluster this edition). Draconic Transformation is one of the better self buffs as it operates purely on bonus actions and gives a breath weapon, blindsight, and 60' flight.

Next post will be about the bestiary and the "art". Not all of it is bad, but holy shit some of it looks godawful.
I assume I should chalk this up as a disappointment.

Welp, time to get my friends to play 3.5e
 
I assume I should chalk this up as a disappointment.

Welp, time to get my friends to play 3.5e
Honestly, it's not nearly as disappointing as I anticipated. I'm just still reading so I can give a coherent opinion rather than a knee jerk. My two biggest complaints with the bestiary thus far is how jank a lot of the art is and the lazy copypasted Great Wyrm abilities. This motherfucker right here is great, for example:
hollow dragon.PNG
There's just a lot to take in and I'm making notes as I go so when I've parsed everything through my thick skull I can make a coherent post with more depth than just "new thing bad, old thing good". It's probably going to be a few more days though because I have to sleep before work, work, go home, take a nap, then work a double, then sleep more and work another shift and I'm not posting or browsing here on work internet because I'm not that much of a reckless madman. Yet.
 
Not sure if this is being unnecessarily cruel or not (as such, I will not provide a direct link), but I was browsing Roll20 to find a new game to pass the time, when I came across a game advert that I'm gonna copy & paste in full.

Welcome to the world of Abrilion, a world of swords and sorcery, and wrought with conflict. You have found yourselves in the capital of Arviorum, one of the largest kingdoms in the world. However, it has found itself under siege by it's own people, a civil war. The last bastion of the kingdom lies here in Duvorum. There is one hope however, the ancient religious texts dedicated to the Goddes Sontan, speak of a the Goddess herself coming down to protect her people in their time of need. May the words be true.

About me:
To whom it may concern, I am an African American male. Sadly, I have to say this but, it's, unfortunately, necessary, so those with a problem with that need not apply. In addition I am 19 years old, so please nobody under the age of 18, however younger may be considered on a case by case basis, but do not count on it. In addition, I am an LGBTQ+ friendly dm, if you are gay, straight, pan, trans whatever the fuck don't feel like you'll be persecuted for who you are, and if you face any of that at my table I will work to protect you, I can promise that.
Now, in terms of ground rules I have not related to the rules of the game, I play powered by the apocalypse games, and I personally use the X card system. In this system any player at a time may put an X in the games public chat or in a dm to me, what this X does, is it lets as dm know that a particular thing that has just happened is something that makes you uncomfortable and you don't want it in the game. The only question that is to be asked by anyone is, what is the thing that is x'd, so do not feel as though you have to explain yourself.

What I expect:
So in terms of the kinds of players, I'd like. This is a 60/40 RP combat game, so keep that in mind when making your characters. I expect players to be actively interacting with the world. I expect you as players to be attentive. during the session and not constantly leaving mid-session, while I do understand it, for I do it sometimes myself, do expect a conversation if it is constant. In addition, I ask that you be on time. I have a strike policy where the first 2 times you are more than 30 minutes late you get a pass on the 3rd we will talk about it, you have 2 more after that and on the 6th if it is unwarranted I will have to discuss removal from the game.

Game Stuff:
You all will be starting at 1st level with character creation unchanged from the normal dnd game. Stats are generated using this macro: [[4d6dl1]]|[[4d6dl1]]|[[4d6dl1]]|[[4d6dl1]]|[[4d6dl1]]|[[4d6dl1]] and doing that twice. Homebrew is allowed as long as you run it by me, and when it comes to backstory I want it to be a collaporative thing, meaning, don't just make me do everything unless there is by design a vast majority of your backstory that you don't know, also, that means don't just do everything yourself. There is only 1 requirment at level 1 character creation, your character has to be, a soldier, court magister, church member, or for whatever reason have a reason to fight and die for the protection of the kingdom.

FYI, there are over 30 applicants for this game. Here's the entiriety of one of those that has been accepted so far:

Name/Alias - Jaden

Age -27

Race -
Latinex

Pronouns - she/her

Sexuality Bisexual and Demisexual

Timezone - GMT+2

Playstyle - that depends on how i feel for that campanie, sometimes i just wanna fuck everything or sometimes i wanna be ace and only think of statergy. i like to switch, but i guess i like to focus on roleplaying a little more and i really get into my characters backstory

Have you ever played dnd before? If yes what's your favorite moment in a game you've had? - the time where i trew my crewmate who was a sith of a flying ship beacuse he almost blew of the ship by tryng to steal my crossbow that had a very powerful, explosive ctrystal (unfortunally he survied)

I thought stuff like this was a joke. I am legit curious how a game run by somebody like this could even function, assuming it could even get past the selection process. Like, holy shit. I would almost be tempted to apply just to see how massive a trainwreck it is, but I like my time and braincells too much.
 
I thought stuff like this was a joke. I am legit curious how a game run by somebody like this could even function, assuming it could even get past the selection process. Like, holy shit. I would almost be tempted to apply just to see how massive a trainwreck it is, but I like my time and braincells too much.
Welcome to online PUGs for TTRPGs! The idea of roleplaying very much appeals to the delusional. Jaden is as close to being a Powerful Sith Lord as he is to being a woman. The troons I've DMd are always engaged and excited roleplayers.

There are always more players than DMs so 30 respondants isn't unreasonable

And I hate to be devils advocate, but DM Gay Jamal's game isn't guaranteed to be a Trainwreck. Especially if he's living off govt cheese and has nothing but time to prep. His faggy identity virtue signaling and "xcard system" may work as an effective filter to help him find like minded individuals. So it may actually be a successful game.
 
Welcome to the world of Abrilion, a world of swords and sorcery, and wrought with conflict. You have found yourselves in the capital of Arviorum, one of the largest kingdoms in the world. However, it has found itself under siege by it's own people, a civil war. The last bastion of the kingdom lies here in Duvorum. There is one hope however, the ancient religious texts dedicated to the Goddes Sontan, speak of a the Goddess herself coming down to protect her people in their time of need. May the words be true.
Ok, so the prose is painful.
About me:
To whom it may concern,
You are already a paragraph deep on your spiel, who it concerns are the people who didn't bail on the awful intro.
I am an African American male. Sadly, I have to say this but, it's, unfortunately, necessary, so those with a problem with that need not apply.
Dumb nigger doesn't know how to use commas.
In addition I am 19 years old, so please nobody under the age of 18, however younger may be considered on a case by case basis, but do not count on it.
I will forgive the prose on the basis on age, but don't advertise that you 're interested in grooming, dipshit.
In addition, I am an LGBTQ+ friendly dm, if you are gay, straight, pan, trans whatever the fuck don't feel like you'll be persecuted for who you are, and if you face any of that at my table I will work to protect you, I can promise that.
Ah so a niggerfaggot. And one that enables narcissists. That will end well.
Now, in terms of ground rules I have not related to the rules of the game, I play powered by the apocalypse games
niggerfaggot plays niggerfaggot system
and I personally use the X card system.
Going off past history with the X-card system, this is an admission that he will try and rape a female player at the earliest time possible.
What I expect:
Totally fine stuff, except its supposed to be 3 strikes and out, not 6.
Game Stuff:
You all will be starting at 1st level with character creation unchanged from the normal dnd game.
Wait. He said he runs PBTA, but now he uses 5e char gen methods? I can't even guess how that would work.
Homebrew is allowed as long as you run it by me, and when it comes to backstory I want it to be a collaporative thing, meaning, don't just make me do everything unless there is by design a vast majority of your backstory that you don't know, also, that means don't just do everything yourself.
Yeah, that ship sailed buddy. You invited the narcissist brigade in, so get ready for a party of Mary-Sues.

Jaden sounds delightful. "She" may want to invest in a dictionary however.
 
And I hate to be devils advocate, but DM Gay Jamal's game isn't guaranteed to be a Trainwreck. Especially if he's living off govt cheese and has nothing but time to prep. His faggy identity virtue signaling and "xcard system" may work as an effective filter to help him find like minded individuals. So it may actually be a successful game.

For varying levels of "Success".
Remember he's courting the set that think a wonderful life goal is paying a man in Thailand 5-figures to cut off their balls and invert their penis to make a fuckable surgical wound, and pay another one to shave their skull and voicebox, while fucking up your body to the point you will need to inject horsepiss for the rest of your life.
So they may have different different levels of 'enjoyment' than a sane person.

To be serious:
If I was doing a game with complete randos on Roll20, I'd want to kill myself instead put in some sort of subtle, non-argument causing "You are being creepy, please stop it or get out" mechanism. But not the X card shit is too fucking gay to process. You don't need to like full thesis defense, but I want to know what is bothering you. Since like a Fugi I had the unfortunate distinction of playing with, anything other than two bishis making out and/or assfucking would be an X card event, not because it creeped her out or w/e but didn't make her jay-jay tingle so it was boring.
I read some half-formed idea about allowing a "Veil it" system to let people say "Maybe a little less detail thanks"that I liked.
 
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30 years of Dark Sun, and the creator explains why it cant be revived:
Brown, separately, echoes much of what Denning says regarding elements like slavery in Dark Sun. "We always thought, we'll put this in the game, but we're the people working against it," he says. He remembers having, at the time, recently seen Spartacus, the film from 1960. It inspired him to create a setting where players can fight in a version of the Third Servile War (the original Dark Sun Boxed Set introduced the gladiator class to the game, and gladiator arenas are fixtures of every city-state). But Brown remains of two minds about whether Dark Sun could successfully be updated to address those issues adequately.

"The optimistic me says yeah, I think it could be," Brown says. "If you massage those things right and get an awful lot of coaching in your manuscript and, 'Here's how you should treat these while you play, and nobody's saying these are great things. They are terrible things to be fought against. Stand against them. That's what the heroes do.' So the optimistic me says yes."

On the other hand, Brown, who left social media years ago, isn't sure that the attempt is worth the risk considering the tenor of online discourse. "The old saying is there's no such thing as bad publicity," he says. "Well, there is bad publicity today, and that would be bad publicity. I think, for the most part, and you'd spend all your time apologizing and complaining and not making the game. It'd be very difficult. Very difficult."
 
30 years of Dark Sun, and the creator explains why it cant be revived:

Know what? I love Dark Sun. And I can say this having actually played Dark Sun: good. Let it rest in peace.

Some things are best left buried instead of dug up and reanimated into a parody of their former selves. I respect Tim Brown for being realistic about it.

I would trust a Dark Sun re-release only if it was done in old-school zine-style format. Independent publishing, a small tightly-knit team of anonymous authors and full editorial freedom. Since it's basically impossible to make a profit with that format, it's never going to happen.
 
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I didn't like Dark Sun because it was overly grim dark with the bigger elements that didn't make sense, which was more jarring in a system that was trying to ground its Necessary Evils in reality.

But I respected it because "The gods are dead, the sun god's bloated corpse is rotting, everything is fucked, brutal authoritianism is the only way that everything winds down mostly gracefully" is pretty metal, just not my cuppa.

In other words:

good. Let it rest in peace.
 
Dark Sun's fun if you like your old sword adventure books like Conan or Barsoom, since it very much has that vibe going for it. I'm still expecting them to fuck it up though at some point whenever they bring it back. Especially since the last time they tried they tried to undo the "dying world" aspect of it.
 
Is Fizban or Dragonlance mentioned there? Or is it just the book's name?
Quippy commentary by Fizban on some pages, but most of it lacks any soul. Dragonlance setting gets mentioned a few times in regards to specific dragons used as examples and in the absolute clusterfuck that is the Draconian flavor text in the bestiary section. I'll go into depth later. I just finished a 16 hour shift.
 
Know what? I love Dark Sun. And I can say this having actually played Dark Sun: good. Let it rest in peace.

Some things are best left buried instead of dug up and reanimated into a parody of their former selves. I respect Tim Brown for being realistic about it.

I would trust a Dark Sun re-release only if it was done in old-school zine-style format. Independent publishing, a small tightly-knit team of anonymous authors and full editorial freedom. Since it's basically impossible to make a profit with that format, it's never going to happen.
The ground's gone sour, Tim.
 
It feels like modern indy RPG makers are more into talking about your feelings, microaggressions, and gender roles than making a fun game. If I want a game with female werewolves, I'll play a Black Fury.

What the fuck is this shit. If you become a werewolf in the game and the crux logical statement of the game is 'WOMEN ARE WEREWOLVES' then you are a woman? There's no such thing as nonbinary. Even the statement alone confirms the reality of a binary system of gender. I don't. I can't.
 
Chris O'Neill looks like he'd benefit from being hit in the face with a fire extinquisher.

God, I hate all these fuckers infesting the hobbies.

You just KNOW he's an insufferable douche canoe.

These are angry people. Pathetic as well, but you can read the anger on their faces. That first woman looks like one of those female SS concentration camp guards that enjoyed torturing the Jews.

Welcome to online PUGs for TTRPGs! The idea of roleplaying very much appeals to the delusional. Jaden is as close to being a Powerful Sith Lord as he is to being a woman. The troons I've DMd are always engaged and excited roleplayers.

There are always more players than DMs so 30 respondants isn't unreasonable

And I hate to be devils advocate, but DM Gay Jamal's game isn't guaranteed to be a Trainwreck. Especially if he's living off govt cheese and has nothing but time to prep. His faggy identity virtue signaling and "xcard system" may work as an effective filter to help him find like minded individuals. So it may actually be a successful game.

I suppose it all comes down to what the definition of a successful game is. Normal people would probably watch in slack-jawed horror, but the people he's aiming at just might view it that way.
 
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