the issue with the https is not a simple regex one. the issue is that the backends talk to the server securely via https, otherwise it would be submitting internet traffic unencrypted. which means that the nginx server is telling php that it's using https. which means that xenforo is rewriting URLs with the https:// protocol. so I have to find some way to lie to php.
tor is not my priority. i'm sorry, i have 10 million fucking things to do. the site working on clearnet reliably is an issue and tor becomes the top priority when clearnet is fucked. i work all day every day and I must practice opportunity cost with my time.