Terry Pratchett's "The Watch" - A diverse and inclusive steampunk BBC series inspired by the Discworld Novels

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I have finished my chat live-reaction to the first episode

I will not waste words. This was one of the absolute worst pieces of media I have ever seen, and there was literally zero positive or redeeming element to any of it.

The acting, the writing, the visuals, the comedy, the melodrama, and every other fucking aspect of this show was absolute rancid shit, especially the acting which was actively fucking offensive in how jawdroppingly shit it was across the board in a dozen unique ways.

I have not and will not factor in either lore rape or wokesped posteuring into this analysis, both to fairly judge the work in and of itself and to discount any personal political bias. Needless to say that both these factors were gigantic fucking cancers in their own right.

I would not even suggest this be used as kiwifarms movienight fodder because of how fucking joyless and miserable the viewing experience is. There was no joy or laughter in seeing how shit it was, no joy in relating the shit i saw to chat, and no joy in writing this excuse for a review.

Basically its every bit as shit as we all feared and then some.....and thats just 1 episode in out of 8

And to add insult to injury: Every voice that calls out this atrocious shitfest of a show will be accused of merely hating it for political reasons or for being some old, grumpy fan of the original material that can't let go and can't accept that "DA NEW GENERASHUN" is taking over with their "HIP KEWL" style that's totally "FLY" and "RAD TO THE MAX!".

 

[Näkki]

I am sad.

As an avid reader of Discworld since I was a kid.. Owning every book, if pre owned found at a street vendor in London, or specifically ordered just around the corner at my tiny book store.

I am just disappointed at this point.

Any hate of cherry replacing knobs and colon will be hating on trannies— even though gender wasn't really a thing for dwarfs, arghhhh. Cherry only started dressing more feminine later and just..

I love sybil as a black woman, but wasn't she supposed to be big and imposing, the entire opposite in everything but skin color. Yet kind and never using force or violence.. An entire different character.

There's just so much.. Too much to overlook for now. Urgh. I'm only an episode in an already want a shot.

I'm too high and watching such a long time of my life be portrayed so entirely different. Give me the hats or whatever..

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

Oh look, there's a second episode already. And it's worse than the first.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Oh look, there's a second episode already. And it's worse than the first.

Is there someone taking the piss out of this show? Mauler and his dingleberries did a pretty good job with Batwoman, we need someone to give this trash the same treatment. Nah. We need a shitton of people doing this. The wave of hate and ridicule must wash away humanity's sin of having produced this. No one involved in this shitshow is allowed to walk away like nothing happened. This shit needs to be put on full display so everyone can take turns mocking the shit out of it.

 

[Judge Holden]

Oh joy they remembered the character crippled midget on a trolly is supposed to be

I can hardly contain my whimsey and delight at this reference

EDIT:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO THE FUCKING LIBRARIAN

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

Oh joy they remembered the character crippled midget on a trolly is supposed to be
View attachment 1828281
I can hardly contain my whimsey and delight at this reference

EDIT:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO THE FUCKING LIBRARIAN
View attachment 1828282

Oh there is genuine effort in there at times. Look at the labels on the whiskey bottles.

View attachment 1828168

Is there someone taking the piss out of this show? Mauler and his dingleberries did a pretty good job with Batwoman, we need someone to give this trash the same treatment. Nah. We need a shitton of people doing this. The wave of hate and ridicule must wash away humanity's sin of having produced this. No one involved in this shitshow is allowed to walk away like nothing happened. This shit needs to be put on full display so everyone can take turns mocking the shit out of it.

It doesn't even deserve that unfortunately. It's not awful as much as it is unimpressive. Despite what they would like you to believe it's nothing especially progressive or imaginative, hell it's possibly less so than Pratchett's original stuff.

There's bits of good stuff and imagery. The comment from Cheery about making everyone hide behind a beard touches on an element some believe ties into the dwarves which is that it is also possible to view them as a religiously oppressive society where the identity of dwarf, complete with beard and standardised behaviour and attire is a way of avoiding corruption from non-dwarven society,

But just as swiftly the writers turn the werewolf thing into generic "woe unto me I am a monster." Which the original book had elements of but Pratchett improved on as the years went by, even to the extent of making it fairly clear that of the various monsters in setting werewolves very much were worst when they played to their human side. Again, effortless to use and could have been taken to hilarious extremes. But instead it's just the old werewolf tropes which aren't even fun to mock.

 

[Polyboros2]

I'm not watching this shit, how dirty did they do my girl A'Tuin?

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

I'm not watching this shit, how dirty did they do my girl A'Tuin?

Unless I have blocked it out not even mentioned.
Roundworld got a shoutout though. And may even be plot relevant.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

EDIT:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO THE FUCKING LIBRARIAN
View attachment 1828282

I ... don't know what to say. Does it talk? What the fuck is wrong with these people? They make a shitty mask and then just throw a few rags over the rest of his body that that's it? Fuck. I shouldn't be surprised, they put an armchair on a wheelchair, cause they couldn't be bothered to make a decent prop for Cut-Me-Own-Dick Crippler.

 

[Polyboros2]

Unless I have blocked it out not even mentioned.
Roundworld got a shoutout though. And may even be plot relevant.

You know, I ain't even fucking surprised at this point. Even fucking Hogsfather had the sense to open on cheap CGI on the titular feature of the fucking franchise.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Oh there is genuine effort in there at times. Look at the labels on the whiskey bottles.

There's bits of good stuff and imagery. The comment from Cheery about making everyone hide behind a beard touches on an element some believe ties into the dwarves which is that it is also possible to view them as a religiously oppressive society where the identity of dwarf, complete with beard and standardised behaviour and attire is a way of avoiding corruption from non-dwarven society

I smell "leftovers from development phase when it was not This Shit".

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

I ... don't know what to say. Does it talk? What the fuck is wrong with these people? They make a shitty mask and then just throw a few rags over the rest of his body that that's it? Fuck. I shouldn't be surprised, they put an armchair on a wheelchair, cause they couldn't be bothered to make a decent prop for Cut-Me-Own-Dick Crippler.

The Librarian

Spoiler

As appears to be the norm they manage some stuff halfway decent with the Librarian but fall well shy of the mark.

Some of his movement in the shelves of the library, largely in the background, looks right for an orangutan. and while his hunched posture is not perfect it's far from awful as an attempt to emulate that ape's manner. The costume is capital B bad but the actor is trying. I personally would have suggested more bulking around the lower face for a more primate-like cast to the features but that's just me.

As regards him speaking there the show once more veers into stupid.
He communicates in simian sounds, including some that could reasonably be called ook. However the Library has a room in it which magically aids with reading. Not just books in odd languages but also body language.

In and of itself this is not awful as a concept. However what it mostly is used as in the episode is a way to get bits of character information out without having to do any of that boring investigation or interaction between the cast. So the first candidates in there, Cheery and Angua, sprout off random personal facts that neither has chosen to share with the other. Something that could have been done in a scene between the two of them in a more natural manner is just shat out because whoops, no time for characters here.

Obviously the room is pure unadulterated McGuffin and is used later in the episode to read in a matter of minutes the information from one of the criminals that could have been discovered in a more natural manner. Carrot lampshades that this ability could revolutionise policing at which point the Archchancellor clarifies that it has a drawback. Hence why the Librarian is what he is, which at no point is clarified to be an orangutan.

And I made it through all that without ever saying monke-

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

The Librarian

Spoiler

As appears to be the norm they manage some stuff halfway decent with the Librarian but fall well shy of the mark.

Some of his movement in the shelves of the library, largely in the background, looks right for an orangutan. and while his hunched posture is not perfect it's far from awful as an attempt to emulate that ape's manner. The costume is capital B bad but the actor is trying. I personally would have suggested more bulking around the lower face for a more primate-like cast to the features but that's just me.

As regards him speaking there the show once more veers into stupid.
He communicates in simian sounds, including some that could reasonably be called ook. However the Library has a room in it which magically aids with reading. Not just books in odd languages but also body language.

In and of itself this is not awful as a concept. However what it mostly is used as in the episode is a way to get bits of character information out without having to do any of that boring investigation or interaction between the cast. So the first candidates in there, Cheery and Angua, sprout off random personal facts that neither has chosen to share with the other. Something that could have been done in a scene between the two of them in a more natural manner is just shat out because whoops, no time for characters here.

Obviously the room is pure unadulterated McGuffin and is used later in the episode to read in a matter of minutes the information from one of the criminals that could have been discovered in a more natural manner. Carrot lampshades that this ability could revolutionise policing at which point the Archchancellor clarifies that it has a drawback. Hence why the Librarian is what he is, which at no point is clarified to be an orangutan.

And I made it through all that without ever saying monke-

I almost fear to ask: What does the archchancellor look like?

 

[It'sallabitsillyreally]

I almost fear to ask: What does the archchancellor look like?

Archchancellor ?

Spoiler

I might have missed it but I do not think they clarify which Archchancellor this is. Doesn't seem like they are Ridcully.

He looks like a slightly fussy Gandalf, though one aside is that his staff might be topped with the four elephants (and a knob atop them). It might be Stibbons since the city's lighting is apparently supplied by magical work from the Unseen University. His attire and manner seems largely to be that of a petty noble rather than any obvious wizard figure but there is confirmation that at least one person who wound up the university ended up as seating in his office.

They also sort of lift the temporary affliction from...Reaper Man I think where he cannot swear. In the TV series this is due to a backfired attempt to aid someone with their child's bad language, meaning there is instrumental effects rather than the profanity the Archchancellor wants to utter.

 

[Iä! Iä!]

From imdb:

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

From imdb:

View attachment 1829955

I checked out some of the reviews on imdb (average score so far is 4,4 stars, and it'll sink over time, I wager). A lot of 1 and 2 star reviews that neatly pick apart this mess, but the comedy gold really is hidden with the woke apologetics of this holocaust of its source material.
One 9-star review contains this gem:

Lord Vetinari can't be a woman? Whyever not? I've long suspected that Terry Pratchett himself was holding open the possibility that she was all along.

What do you even say in response to that? How deluded are these people? This is "years of paint-thinner sniffing induced brain-damage" levels of retarded.


Don't get mad at the stupidity and cheek of that fag, laugh at it.

As an aside: The few reviews giving it more than 5 stars contain a variation of "I never read the books". One goes "It's not based on the novels, it's inspired by them! So what's the big deal (also I never read any of the books)".
And these people call those negrating it "spoilt". My sides.

 

[Kurtis Trent]

so recently I watched Netflix' Curse (I was drunk and sad), which is a Witcher/GoT cashgrab "based" on Arthurian mythos except Arthur is a black useless shit (hello, Disney), Merlin is a drunk useless shit (hello, Disney again), Morgana is a black lesbian nun (yes, really), Kylo Ren is here too and the main character is a strong 20-something white woman Chosen One (can you honestly believe this fat bitch who never held a sword before is most badass fighter in this show??? ffs Daisy Whatever at least looked fit).


And so I watched the trailer of The Watch and while, don't get me wrong, it's pretty godawful, I felt like I've seen this already before... Notice how all these "woke" adaptations became really by-the-numbers to the point you can't even tell if this is legit or a parody? It's like they're not even trying anymore. Remember all those YA movies we were getting after the Harry Potter hype and how those quickly died after the Hunger Games?

Or are they specifically making those shit shows for sake of Internet outrage baiting?

edit: tbh Good Omens adaptation was more fun for me to nitpick on because the woke shit there held it back from being truly great. Meanwhile this is just...boring.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I've been checking Youtube every now and then and there is no "reviews" or comments on this show whatsoever.
I was hoping for a good smackdown in the likes of CW's Batwoman or something similar, but there is nothing (not even praise, it seems).

My best guess, this show is too low key and Pratchett is too "obscure" to the mainstream media commentators and clearly off the radar to people like Critical Drinker or E;R (then again, they might be making videos as we speak). I am actually kind of surprised and wondering if even the outrage over shitty SJW adaptations has entered a stage of apathy, where only the most annoying and popular stuff like Marvel, SW and ST really remain in the limelight of shittalking.

Man, I really hope Smacktalk will make a video about this abomination, though. However long it takes, dude makes his videos slowly, but they are absolutely amazing and more people should watch his stuff.

 

[Judge Holden]

MFW i see a clip on twitter of the latest episode that has the shitty fucking shitbag cast singing "all the little angels" from The Night Watch book

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Why are we still here, just to suffer? Every night, I can feel Star Wars... And Star Trek... even my Discworld Novels! The IPs I've lost... the fandoms I've lost... won't stop hurting... It's like they're all still there. You feel it, too, don't you? I'm gonna make them give back our past! One shitpost at a time.