So I've managed to turn my garden and smallholding into some sort of birb paradise and I'm attracting fucking everything. My wife has been doing some online bird survey shit because she's got flu (not wu-flu thankfully) and has nothing better to do than watch the birds. Aside from 12 chickens and one mud covered, noisy as shit duck, our bird list comprises of: Blue Tits, Great Tits, Blackbirds, The local, extremely badass Robin that fucks up all challengers for his territory, Pied Wagtails, Long-tailed Tits, Goldfinches, Sparrows, Collared Doves, Turtle Doves, Pheasants (yummy), Partridges (extra yummy), Treecreepers, Nuthatches, Starlings, Green Woodpeckers, Lesser Spotted Woodpeckers, A lazy ass Buzzard that prefers to walk around looking for worms instead of hunting because why be a massive bird of prey that can take fucking lambs, that's EFFORT!, The rest of the Buzzards family who actually behave like apex predators, ALL the Crows, ALL the Pigeons, Herons, an Egret, Moorhens, a random Cormorant, Kestrels, Harris Hawks, a Kingfisher, for like a second because those fuckers are the F117 of the bird world, Wrens and an Oystercatcher. Apparently I own the UK's premier Birdwatching location.