The Emily date

[CatParty]

This sounds depressingly like somebody who's learned all they know about female interaction by watching porn. To Chris, the only thing standing between him and Hanky-panky is the amount of time it takes for the girl to stop pretending she doesn't want it.

Well of course every girl wants it. I mean, he is a handsome dude - even his mother says so.

him being called handsome once reminds me of

[youtube]JX5_Ada91qY[/youtube]

 

[murdoc]

I knew someone like this. So wrapped up in her own interests that it was literally impossible for her to communicate with other adults if the topic of conversation was anything other than her favorite TV show or what she liked to eat. She would actually get very annoyed at her friends for wanting to discuss literature, history, politics, religion, science, sex, or any of the other perfectly normal topics adults talk about. And why would she be mad? Because she didn't know anything about those topics, and didn't think she should have to learn... she simply wanted everyone around her to refrain from discussing anything she didn't know about. And as I said, her interests were limited to two topics.

my flatmate's bint girlfriend is exactly like this except with her own personality, her own intelligence and new age woo
i can humour someone who wants to talk about food or TV but when someone's preferred subjects are themselves and patent bullshit there's only so much feigned interest i can spit up

cwc's topics of riveting conversation: sanic, pokuhmawn, sanichew, lilbiplanet, seth macfarlane's oeuvre, old programmes no one watches anymore, himself

 

[Hyperion]

I do enjoy the Pickleman coming out of no where to steal his potential virgin breaker.

 

[Marvin]

Chris: "If you like to look at the... uh... NAUGHTY stuff."

Emily: "No, I'm not into that."

Chris: "Not yet anyway."

Oh Chris, always thinking any woman that isn't into sex with you or talking about sex is just ignorant.

Chris: I mean, I guess I should keep my MANOS to myself and behave, right?

Emily: Yeah, you should probably do that.

Chris: I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

At least he asked before touching her up.

If Bob hadn't been there... *shudder*

Heh, well, at that point, they had left Bob and went walking through the mall. It's why Chris started getting creepy at that point.

 

[Maloongoo]

I could be wrong and this has probably been asked before but weren't you the "Jew in the picklesuit" that saved Emily, Marvin?

In the beginning of the video in the date it looked like he was more interested in her Jacket than speaking to her

 

[Marvin]

I could be wrong and this has probably been asked before but weren't you the "Jew in the picklesuit" that saved Emily, Marvin?

Yeah, that's me.

In the beginning of the video in the date it looked like he was more interested in her Jacket than speaking to her

Who, Chris?

 

[Holdek]

Yeah, this is probably it. Bob probably hadn't had someone worthwhile to talk to in years, maybe decades. If you try to have a mature, non-sperg-topic conversation with Chris, you just end up talking at him. He'll reply with "uh huh," "hmm, yeah, dat is interesting," "yeah, I agree, I am a moderate in *topic* but dat sounds reasonable to me."

I can't imagine how anyone could ever have a significant, peer relationship with him, whether romantic or otherwise. He simply can't have any kind of repore with an adult. And the worst thing is, he doesn't realize it, so he'll spend the rest of his life begging for a girl to be his sweetheart without realizing that it's not happening because he literally has nothing to offer a girl. In terms of interpersonal relationships, he's more like a piece of furniture than a human being.

I think it would work only if you had very narrow interests, and those interests happened to be the exact same as Chris', and you didn't mind being the conversationally passive one in the friendship (ironic, I know). My reasoning: that video where (I guess) the Magic Man is sitting there and Chris is just going on and on about some video games and Magic Man is just like "Uh huh. Uh huh." Also Chris' e-mails. Basically you wouldn't have to mind listening to Chris 'Sperg forever about Mary Poppins and Little Pig Blanket.

Bob's behavior is exactly what you guys say: he was bored out of his skull. He was a pretty smart guy and Chris was not. Neither was Barb. He just had nobody to talk to. Lots of older folk are that way. Give them an opening and BAM, two hours later..

Generally speaking, it's actually kind of sad how we kind of discard the elderly in our modern society.

Chris: "If you like to look at the... uh... NAUGHTY stuff."

Emily: "No, I'm not into that."

Chris: "Not yet anyway."

Oh Chris, always thinking any woman that isn't into sex with you or talking about sex is just ignorant.

Chris: I mean, I guess I should keep my MANOS to myself and behave, right?

Emily: Yeah, you should probably do that.

Chris: I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

At least he asked before touching her up.

If Bob hadn't been there... *shudder*

This is why I still contend that Barb was chaperoning Chris at his prom so that he didn't do anything stupid to a girl.

This sounds depressingly like somebody who's learned all they know about female interaction by watching porn. To Chris, the only thing standing between him and Hanky-panky is the amount of time it takes for the girl to stop pretending she doesn't want it.

Well of course every girl wants it. I mean, he is a handsome dude - even his mother says so.

Also, it's something Chris wants to be true. Therefore, he believes it.

 

[Uzumaki]

Generally speaking, it's actually kind of sad how we kind of discard the elderly in our modern society.

I don't see your point. Are you saying it's the duty of everyone else to seek out boring useless old people and listen to them ramble? We don't discard old people in "this society", "this society" is the first one capable of keeping old people alive well past their ability to care for themselves or interact meaningfully with other people. I really don't think a whole bunch of young people having their time wasted by rambling stories is going to have a significant positive impact on "society".

For every one old person you make happy with this plan you're boring a young person (who might have actually done something productive with the time).

 

[drmccoy]

I could be wrong and this has probably been asked before but weren't you the "Jew in the picklesuit" that saved Emily, Marvin?

In the beginning of the video in the date it looked like he was more interested in her Jacket than speaking to her

Well, like Kacey, he was probably focused in on her boobs. Eye contact? Not Chris.

 

[Holdek]

Generally speaking, it's actually kind of sad how we kind of discard the elderly in our modern society.

I don't see your point. Are you saying it's the duty of everyone else to seek out boring useless old people and listen to them ramble? We don't discard old people in "this society", "this society" is the first one capable of keeping old people alive well past their ability to care for themselves or interact meaningfully with other people. I really don't think a whole bunch of young people having their time wasted by rambling stories is going to have a significant positive impact on "society".

For every one old person you make happy with this plan you're boring a young person (who might have actually done something productive with the time).

When did I say anything about a "plan" and all the other stuff you're 'Sperging about? I just said it's kind of sad that old people are lonely on our modern society because we basically forget about them.

 

[JULAY]

Best fucking moment of the Emily date, from the Ivy Q&A...

Emily and the Pickle Man happened. I would later find out that Chris was extremely proud that he did not defecate in his pants when he first saw the Pickle Man. Chris’ only thoughts, at the time, were: "Am I pooing myself? I hope I don't poo myself."

Bravo, Marvin... You almost made the adult autistic child poop himself.

 

[Marvin]

Best fucking moment of the Emily date, from the Ivy Q&A...

Emily and the Pickle Man happened. I would later find out that Chris was extremely proud that he did not defecate in his pants when he first saw the Pickle Man. Chris’ only thoughts, at the time, were: "Am I pooing myself? I hope I don't poo myself."

Bravo, Marvin... You almost made the adult autistic child poop himself.

Why thank you. That's a badge of honor, almost making Chris shit himself.

My favorite part was when I told him it was just a coincidence, and he was like "you don't even know me… are you sure… have you-do you have Internet access?" Like, YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF ME??? DO YOU HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION?

Although, I guess the pickle suit might've justified his questioning just a little...

 

[Plissken]

As many people said, It's because Bob was a lonely person, Heck, even if someone isn't old, if they are lonely they will talk your ear off, Like this guy I met a few weeks ago at a Subway, he just wouldn't shut up. I felt sorry for the guy, but at the same time, I just wanted to get my sandwich and go. There is also the fact that Bob has had a much more interesting life than Chris, what with having several families, publishing seven patents that were apparently Revolutionary to the industry, etc. and Chris just shuts himself in his room all day playing vidya.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Best fucking moment of the Emily date, from the Ivy Q&A...

Emily and the Pickle Man happened. I would later find out that Chris was extremely proud that he did not defecate in his pants when he first saw the Pickle Man. Chris’ only thoughts, at the time, were: "Am I pooing myself? I hope I don't poo myself."

Bravo, Marvin... You almost made the adult autistic child poop himself.

Why thank you. That's a badge of honor, almost making Chris shit himself.

My favorite part was when I told him it was just a coincidence, and he was like "you don't even know me… are you sure… have you-do you have Internet access?" Like, YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF ME??? DO YOU HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION?

Although, I guess the pickle suit might've justified his questioning just a little...

I liked how "Wanna see Watchmen?" lured Emily away. I realize it wasn't in the plan but I would love to hear Chris's reaction if he was also invited.

 

[Mrs Paul]

Let us not forget "tampon time"

WHAT?!?!

 

[Marvin]

Best fucking moment of the Emily date, from the Ivy Q&A...

Emily and the Pickle Man happened. I would later find out that Chris was extremely proud that he did not defecate in his pants when he first saw the Pickle Man. Chris’ only thoughts, at the time, were: "Am I pooing myself? I hope I don't poo myself."

Bravo, Marvin... You almost made the adult autistic child poop himself.

Why thank you. That's a badge of honor, almost making Chris shit himself.

My favorite part was when I told him it was just a coincidence, and he was like "you don't even know me… are you sure… have you-do you have Internet access?" Like, YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF ME??? DO YOU HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION?

Although, I guess the pickle suit might've justified his questioning just a little...

I liked how "Wanna see Watchmen?" lured Emily away. I realize it wasn't in the plan but I would love to hear Chris's reaction if he was also invited.

I'd need to sit between them. That wouldn't go over well with Chris.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I liked how "Wanna see Watchmen?" lured Emily away. I realize it wasn't in the plan but I would love to hear Chris's reaction if he was also invited.

I'd need to sit between them. That wouldn't go over well with Chris.

I kind of wish Chris had balled up and decided to go with, just so you could have done so. I can imagine him trying to sneak in, only to get mad when you "beat" him to it.

 

[Trombonista]

I've been thinking, since Chris thought that sex happened on the third date, did he believe a kiss was supposed to happen on the first? That could be why Chris suddenly tried to kiss Emily at the end.

 

[Marvin]

I liked how "Wanna see Watchmen?" lured Emily away. I realize it wasn't in the plan but I would love to hear Chris's reaction if he was also invited.

I'd need to sit between them. That wouldn't go over well with Chris.

I kind of wish Chris had balled up and decided to go with, just so you could have done so. I can imagine him trying to sneak in, only to get mad when you "beat" him to it.

Oh man, yeah. (like we just discussed privately), it'd come down to a scramble at the row and he'd really try to get in to beat me to it, but yeah, he'd be so cranky when he lost. But of course, he'd fold because he's a huge pussy.

I'd love to constantly put Chris in situations where he has to be assertive and see how he reacts. Well, of course he'll pussy out, but I'll love to see the gears turning in his head as he considers his options and ultimately decides to stress sigh and pussy out.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I'd love to constantly put Chris in situations where he has to be assertive and see how he reacts. Well, of course he'll pussy out, but I'll love to see the gears turning in his head as he considers his options and ultimately decides to stress sigh and pussy out.

I wonder if Chris would nut up about, well, anything. I can only think of stuff like getting rid of vidya and even then it was easier because Jackie or Kacey or whoever weren't there in person.